ariana and cynthia resisted it for so long. and then it was only meant to have been a one-time thing. and of course it kept happening, but only while filming, they told themselves. and they had held to that promise, somehow managing to white-knuckle it through the press tour, not stepping over that well-trodden line. (not physically, anyway. emotionally, well. that's another story.) and then it ended. or paused. they went back to their normal lives - to their partners - as much as they could. they pretended it wasn't painful, that they each weren't a little bitter with the other, however unfair that was. it was for the best. they both agreed on that. (they both lied) but then there was a last minute scramble and suddenly, months later, they were back in a place they never thought they'd find themselves again. they were in london, they were in green and pink, they were in tears (they were always in tears), and, eventually - inevitably - they were in cynthia's flat. it was just old habit, they told themselves, when cynthia squeezed ariana's waist and ari cradled cynthia's face in her hands, crowding in, crying (again, or maybe she had never stopped) because GOD she'd missed this - missed her - in a way she hadn't even let herself realize until now. it was just one more time, they told themselves for the hundredth time, as cynthia pushed ari against the wall and ariana caught cynthia's bottom lip between her teeth - both actions a little rougher than normal, carrying the months of pain they'd kept tucked behind their ribs. and that was all it took for the last remnants of the bitterness to slip away, before they melted into each other, breathing harshly, shakily, as they stumbled to the bed. afterwards they lay tangled up together, gazing into each other's eyes and watching as tears gathered, yet again, until it became too much - to watch what they were each seeing in the other - so they let their eyelids flutter closed and they let themselves lean in and they didn't let themselves say 'i love you' (they both lied)
