03: Man Up
Mijo.
I had just finished my work for today with Black Pyramid when I got a text from Chris saying meet him at the crib. After grabbing some food, I headed over to his house. âYooâ I yelled through the house as I looked around.
âUncle Mi!â I heard my Saâmai yelled in excitement as she ran up to me.
âMunchkinâ I smiled scooping her in my arms, carrying her to the living room where Chris sat watching cartoons. âSup broâ I shook his hand, before sitting next to him. He looked focused and confused, like something heavy was on his mind but he couldnât explain it.
âYou need to talk with Sabrinaâ he mumbled.
âWhat? No the fuc-â
âYes the fuck you do!â he snapped. âNigga this shit almost cost me my marriage, Iâve been lying to my wife for weeks now and I got this ugly motherfucker lying saying Iâm foolingâ with Sabrina because Iâm helping her outâ
âWait ⊠why you helping her?â
âSheâs the mother of my niece and she didnât move back here, she only came back so you could spend time with Alana which you havenât done. I just pay the hotel billâ
âNobody asked you to thoughâ
I should learn how to shut up sometimes, Chris snapped.
âNigga thatâs family, Sabrina always been family! You forgot? Nigga yall both made Alana, not just her. You acting like she wants you, nigga she donât and never did. She just wants Alana to know her father; you lucky she hasnât to you to court; you acting like a real bitch right now bro, for realâ he yelled smacking my hat off my head and storming to the kitchen.
I took a deep breath, letting his words sink in and he was right. Sabrina doesnât deserve this and neither does Alana. Back in the day I had the biggest crush on Sabrina, she was so close to our family because her mom was like my aunt. I, she and Chris all grew up together. We didnât start fooling around until high school, we took each other virginities. After the first time we agreed to stay friends but to keep having sex as a secret, she only told her best friend and I only told Chris.
Before she left to Texas we had a long time and expressed how much we cared for one another but only as friends, she even knew about my feelings for Jaz and told me to pursue her.
When she hit me up and told me she was pregnant I just asked if the baby was mine and it pissed her off, I went to all the doctorsâ appointments via ft and even flew out a few times, she did tell me sheâd come back so that Alana could be born in the same city as us and I was there for that too. I even named her. Crazy right? Why would I be there then leave? Because I didnât know how Jaz would accept it and just thinking about it makes my heart ache, I chose my girlfriend over my daughter. Fuck kind of man am I? I fucking coward thatâs who. I loved my daughter more than life itself and I have to fix it.
I walked in the kitchen. âYou right and I know I have to fix it, I just donât know howâ I shrugged.
âFirst talk to Sabrina, sheâs only here for another week before she heads back to Texas and then two weeks after that its Alana-â
âI know, her birthdayâ my baby girl is about to be three years old and knowing I missed two birthdays kills me.
âOh and you have to explain everything to Jaz. Alana is a blessing, not a secretâ I nodded and reached in for a hug. âLove you man, you got thisâ I nodded and said goodbye before heading back home. Jaz was out with Ariana, so I was going to call Sabrina and try to start to fix things.
 Sabrina.
I was lying in bed, watching tv when my phone started to ring. I quickly grabbed it so it wouldnât wake up Alana. âUnknownâ I mumbled to myself with a confused face. I pressed the green button and was met with his voice. âPlease donât hang upâ he pleaded.
I wasnât upset with Barry, just disappointed. I understand that me being pregnant wasnât a part of the plan and I will never say or discredit him for being there for me when I was pregnant and constantly flying back and forth, however; he disappeared from her life and I havenât received a call or text in two years. Our daughter will be three and she doesnât know him which isnât my fault.
âYes Barryâ
âCan we meet and talk ⊠please?â
âSure, where?â
âIce cream shop itâs about ten minutes from your hotelâ
âOkay, see you soonâ I hung up and went to grab Alana.
----
âI know that Iâve fucked up and Iâm a coward for leaving after she was born, I wouldnât blame you if you hated me. And no excuse will ever be good enough, Iâm just begging that you will allow me into her life now and I swear on my life, Iâll never leave it againâ
I just nodded, taking everything in. I always thought about this moment and now that itâs here, Iâm happy for Alana. I just want her to have a great relationship with her dad. Just like I do with mine. Â âOkay, Iâll let you win but I have a few rulesâ he nodded.
âAlana is not a secret, so you have to tell jasmine. Second, she can stay the night if sheâs comfortable but not in the same bed as you two, thatâs weird. Lastly, if Jasmine wants to spend alone time with her, we must meet firstâ
My rules werenât crazy, but I was a mother and even though Jaz seemed sweet, I still wanted to meet the woman whoâd be around my daughter.
âOkay, thatâs fineâ he agreed and we shook on it. For the remainder of the evening he played with Lana and we took her to the playground, she loved every minute of it and I think she knew who Berry was even after all this time. After she was born I also made him do skin to skin contact with her, she must have recognized his heart beat and voice.
Jaz.
As I walked in the house from a long day of relaxing with my best friend, I see Mijo sitting on the couch with his head between his lap and his hands covering his face. His body language alone told me that something was wrong.
âBabe, you okay? Did something happen today?â
âYeah and Jaz everything im about to tell you is nothing but the truth. I just ask that you donât hate me after and hopefully we can everything outâ I nodded. âItâs about my daughter ⊠Alanaâ
















