ongoing crisis

• mostly fandom tbh • 24 • main to @hobbitofgallifrey-art and @beauty-is-truth-is-beauty •

[tolkien-queer]

INCORRECT QUOTES 1/?

i've highkey never done an incorrect quotes before but i thought these were funny

[the-zenith-calls]

is this anything

[blignick]

[bunjywunjy]

this is actually HILARIOUS because both domestic rabbits and domestic cats practice dominance-related social grooming but for wildly different reasons.

if you're a rabbit, the boss rabbit is the one who gets groomed by its subordinate rabbits.

but if you're a cat... the boss cat is the one that grooms the other cats.

BOTH these idiots are going "aw yeah, it's good to be on top >:) "

[conman167936]

Guillermo Del Toro is the only director who would shoot Gepetto making Pinocchio as if it were Dr. Frankenstein creating the monster.

And then shoot Dr. Frankenstein creating the monster as if it were Gepetto making Pinocchio.

[martianbugsbunny]

guyyssss

I'm pretty sure most everybody at this point is aware that Aragorn takes Boromir's vambraces as a way to honor his memory, but last time I watched the movies I noticed that on his deathbed (as anticipated by Elrond/Arwen) Aragorn is either 1: still wearing Boromir's vambraces or 2: wearing a set he had made to look exactly like Boromir's vambraces. and if that isn't enough, the tomb effigy of Aragorn is ALSO wearing them!

Boromir is part of Aragorn until he dies and even then he remains a part of Aragorn's memory

[mooflat]

One of my favorite lines about Boromir in the books is that part of the appendices that goes like, “Faramir thought Boromir was probably the greatest man in Gondor, and Boromir also thought that.”

[smollilguy]

some LOTR texts posts because this is the only thing i can contribute to fandoms besides reblogs <3

[markscherz]

JRR Tolkien stands for

Johnald Ronald Rolkien Tolkien

Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien

Jar-Ar Tolkien

I need to see others’ opinions to know my own

Voting ended onJan 19

[goldenasirpa]

Yall sleeping on this Sam L. Jackson interview about trump lmfao.

[soapaipillas]

It’s your uncle, Sam.

[luminouspica]

He was an activist before he became an actor. He was told to get out of town before he ended up dead as a young man, due to his activism.

This is just more of him being himself, which is as it should be.

[tazmanian-cigarette]

People really forgot that Sam Jackson was a Black Panther

[bloodbatty]

I reblogged this without saying anything earlier, but damn it’s so refreshing to see a celebrity that doesn’t feel the need to appeal to literal fascists.

[nochd]

Old Tom Bombadil talks in ballad metre, seven beats to every line, in trochaic rhythm. Is he Ilúvatar? That would seem unlikely, from his lackadaisical attitude and whimsy. "Some sort of nature-god" is all we know for certain. Tolkien's philosophy of poetry and nature sees verse as not at all contrived or artificial, but rather primordial, original expression of the human faculty for speech, for song, for language. Accordingly, when he wrote this character, he made him speak all in rustic verse, since he's close to nature, in tune with the earth and sky, the flowing of the water, and that's why (just in case you happened to be wondering) old Tom Bombadil talks in ballad metre.

[lotharbarbarian]

Lord of the rings from Saurons perspective is a fucking fever dream because he started by reforming his essence into some physical form in mirkwood and before he even has enough strength to feel that the ring was even in the same forest as him he gets chased off by a group of wizards and elves looking to fuck some shit up. There goes his plan to get a dragon on his side

So he holds up in mordor gathering a new army, and only after about a century is he strong enough to do cool magic shit again, by that time however the ring hadnt been used in decades so there were no whispers of it except oops we found this weird little fucker who keeps yelling about his fucking precious, better go check out “shire baggins” whatever the fuck that is

So he finds out a fucking hobbit has his ring which in middle earth terms is like finding out mr magoo has your fucking nuclear launch codes. So he starts sending wave after wave of his own men to get the ring and they keep failing cause this fucking hobbit has friends. He has his homie saruman send some uruk-hai to get them and then sends some goblins to make sure everything goes right but for no apparent reason they stop reporting in, (something about horses and trees?) so he sends a guy to ask saruman straight out wheres my fucking ring and saruman straight up lies about it. Next thing he hears saruman has launched an all our invasion of rohan with 10000 uruk-hai so rip the bronies right? Nope the next day his army is defeated and saruman has fucking vanished.

Confused as fuck now sauron gets a fucking phone call from a god damn hobbit (ITS YOU!) but all he gets out of the little sovereign citizen is some shit about “i do not answer questions” and next thing he hears the hobbit has gone to fucking gondor. Alright send fucking everything we got, take gondor do whatever it takes get my fucking ring back. And what does he have to worry about right? After all even if rohan helps he’ll still win. Wtf is that an army of ghosts???!?!?!?

So then hes sitting there with his diminished army trying to figure out his next plan of attack and he gets another fucking phone call from the god damn great grandson of the prick who cut off his ring in the first place. “Oi cunt i got ur ring and im gonna fuc u up m8!” *click*

Goody he thinks, this arrogant sob is gonna bring my ring right to me, time to throw everything i got at this bastard. So then the fight starts hes super excited cause hes clearly winning and OH DEAR GOD MY RING IS IN THE VOLCANO HOW THE FU- *dies*

Now hes a weird ghost thing that cant ever do anything but lament how big a prick he is

[titsay]

[psstwantsomecheese]

Just remembered the inferiority complex Gwindor developed post-Angband and I'm sobbing

Like WHAT DID THEG DO TO HIM

Morgoth when I catch you whenIcatchyouMorgothBauglir–

[witchchild]

[psstwantsomecheese]

feanorians on oathmas eve when they hear silmarilclaus kinslaying down the chimney

[enby-keith]

Which side did you get your autism from and why is it your undiagnosed dad’s side?

[godlessondheimite]

i would kill for the confidence of novelists who write genius-poet characters and then actually write samples of the “genius” poetry in the book. if i were a novelist writing a genius-poet i’d just be like “trust me, the poetry’s real good.”

[prismatic-bell]

You show J. R. R. Tolkien the respect he deserves!

[sesamenom]

to be fair, he wrote out all the poetry while rather conspicuously avoiding actually writing the Noldolante