general situation update and help post because i am losing it. im a disabled trans man that has been financially struggling for a while around some serious medical issues and interpersonal circumstances, i was homeless in 2023 and have been trying to get back on my feet ever since, but have really struggled with skyrocketing energy bills and grocery costs. I make $940 a month that is capped by the federal government, while my rent for my current 1 bedroom now averages at $1125 a month minimum and I cannot keep up, my mom and step dad have a possible solution for the time being that would be indefinite but also way more stable and much cheaper for me not only in terms of paying less than half of what im paying in rent now but also moving costs in general, and have made a gofundme to help cover the costs of this possible option as i have to figure out something by november, there are more details on the fundraiser itself here
my name is Aidan and I have struggled with disability and poverty for many years. … Aiden Crider needs your support for Help Aidan Move to a
if you enjoy my art at all or like what i post, and would like to help me move, i would deeply appreciate it. i am unable to work a typical job due to disability, the constant stress and tenants rights abuses on top of costs i just cant afford anymore, my financial well being is worse than its ever been and, and the constsnt hustling to cover rent and bills is taking a serious toll on my already unstable physical health.
my Paypal.me: one of the easiet way to help outside of gofundme
Kofi: another easy way to help outside of gofundme
Choosing what to wear was an important task for Mel. A lot of factors went into her clothes, how it fit, did the colors compliment her skin, was the outfit comfortable. She didn't take fashion lightly, and it carried on into every outfit. Pajamas even had to be picked carefully. Past partners of hers called her high maintenance. And yes, maybe she was. But if people were allowed to be low maintenance she should have her vices as well.
"Do you think this would match with the ATVs or should I save this for the beach?"
Mel had on a black bikini set that sported nipple piercings in the bralette. She figured the added accessory would match the edginess of being in an all terrain vehicle. With all that dirt. But maybe it would fit on the beach, contrasting the chill vibes of the ocean. She waited for her girlfriend's response, who was settled on the edge of their bed. Watching intently and patiently.
"Save it for our private pool in the Airbnb."
"That's not what I asked."
Sevika shrugged. "Just what I think."
"You said that about the three previous ones."
"You bought twenty swimsuits Mel."
"And?"
"There's plenty of options you can wear to the beach. Save some for my eyes only, huh?"
Mel rolled her eyes. Of course her gay ass would say that. "Of course, your gay ass would say that."
"I'm just being honest."
"I don't even know why I asked you." Mel walked to her shopping bags on the floor, searching for the next swimsuit to try on.
"I don't know either. From what I remember, I don't know fashion."
And Mel was right when she told Sevika that. She had her moments, whenever they went out on dates. But Sevika's go to fit was sweatpants and a muscle tee. Which Mel didn't mind, it'd be a shame to hide those arms. Her girlfriend just had no business thinking jorts were a reasonable thing to wear in public.
Sevika couldn't provide any real input, other than looking at Mel like a snack. Which was fine sometimes, but not when she had important decisions to make.
"This next one I try on can't be for the airbnb."
"Even if I say please."
"Nope. You gotta pick."
Mel slid her top off, not paying any mind to Sevika's attention on her. Sevika was just grateful to be in the same room. The truth was anything Mel tried on, she looked good in. It was hard for Sevika to choose anything for any occasion.
Mel slipped on the next suit, which was a brown one piece that showed her back and stomach. The color complimented her nicely, and it let her belly button piercing be out and proud. Sevika's eyes couldn't stay off Mel's butt, it looked great in this one.
"Beach or ATV?"
"Hmmm."
"Sevika."
"How do you feel about a lifeguard roleplay?"
"I'm never asking you for anything ever again."
"Beach! Beach, okay it would look great with a sunhat." Sevika grabbed Mel's hand, swinging it between them. "Try on another one."
"You're lucky you were right about the sunhat."
Sevika kissed the back of Mel's hand. "I'll be good."
Mel rubbed the back of Sevika's head, feeling the undercut under her fingers. "You better be."
it’s actually embarrassing how much kissing turns me on, the needy grabbing, soft moans in each others mouths, when you just can’t get enough of each other😩😩
If i met a white person irl I’d beat the shit out of them and mug them just because of this post. Because of you. Maybe even kill them. Because of you. You had to say this and now some random cracker bitch is gonna die. Are you happy? Was it worth it?
-nsfw
-let's act like shimmer aint a harmful addicting drug lol
Council work bored Sevika. She just didn't care for the politics, doing the actual ground work to make a change was more her speed. Her attendance in meetings were abysmal, only bothering to come when they needed a vote or were discussing Zaun. Piltover matters didn't concern her much.
She knew her energy was better spent in Zaun, her position being more of a power play than anything. Trusting Pilties wasn't in her to do list, and never would be.
There was only one piltie she could tolerate. The Noxian that sided with the two cities instead of her own mother intrigued her. She didn't think pilties could ever do things for the benefit of other people. But Mel brought down her own blood just to save a land she had no roots in. Whether it was for her own gain, Sevika didn't care to know.
Mel was still a mystery to her. Someone she couldn't fully trust. Despite her interest, she kept her distance. She couldn't escape Mel's grasp for too long.
"Maybe we could discuss some things over tea."
Mel cornered the muscled woman after another boring meeting. The rest of the members were filtering out of the room, not even glancing their way. It seemed Mel had that effect now that she developed her abilities. A power that came with fear and compliance.
"What do you have to say that you couldn't bring up an hour ago?" Sevika's stance was guarded, while Mel had her hands clasped behind her. Leaning too close.
"Don't sound so scared. I'd just like to get acquainted. We don't know much about each other."
"Good." Sevika stared the woman down, mean and unmoving.
The final battle was almost a year ago. Mel's tired eyes still looked the same on the night her mother fell. A feeling of guilt pulled at Sevika, but she reigned it in. There was plenty of kids in Zaun without parents, her included. She couldn't let Mel see her too soft.
"Well, if you change your mind. My door is on the fourth floor."
Mel kept her face kind, despite her eyes saying a different story. Sevika could tell she wanted to push more.
Sevika made her escape before she could say anything else. Women like Mel knew what buttons to press and Sevika didn't have the time. At least this was easier said than done.
Mel's presence was persistent. In the weeks ahead, she kept offering a chat to Sevika. She accepted each no with a small smile. And let Sevika leave every time.
But a day came where the air around Mel seemed heavier. Sevika sat across from her at the gaudy meeting table. The usual show of pristine and confidence seemed to be lost on Mel today, with her shoulders hunched in and the hood she chose to wear over her head.
Mel rushed out of the room before closing remarks were even done. Other members just let her go, but something pulled Sevika to follow. Her curiosity won over, leading her to Mel's door.
Before she could change her mind, she knocked hard enough to make an echo in the empty hallway. She tapped her foot against the spotless floor, the contrast of her dirty boot against the stainless tiles made her scoff. A minute passed before the tall door cracked open. Mel peeked through, her eyes puffy. Realization set in when she met Sevika's irises.
Mel quickly wiped at her wet cheeks, opening the door wider.
"Are you here for tea?"
"I don't drink tea."
"Something stronger?" Mel carried on like Sevika didn't see the sadness dripping on her face.
She turned away to walk back in her room, expecting Sevika to follow. And she did, closing the door behind her. Being this close to her felt like a trap, but Sevika forged on. Mel was out of her hood, draped in a night time gown that flowed with her.
She sat down on her couch, where a coffee table sat a variety of drinks and snacks on it. Sevika caught the unfinished glass of wine as she joined her.
"What do you drink?" Mel reached for an empty glass.
Drinks served in Zaun didn't even cross the borders, anything Sevika was used to wasn't going to be on this table.
"Surprise me."
Mel smirked, she poured a dark liquid in a glass and pushed it into Sevika's hand.
"It might be a bit tart, but I like how it goes down."
Sevika took a sip, hoping her attraction to the woman wasn't going to get her poisoned. Mel was right, it was tart, but smoother than the usual shit she chugged down.
"It's good."
"I'm glad."
Sevika took another sip. "You were in a rush today."
Since Sevika could see Mel's hands this time, she saw her nervously twist them in her lap. "Just needed to take a breather."
She picked up her wine glass, taking a big gulp. And continued. "It's been a year since my mother's death."
Sevika let the information sit. A lot had seemed to change but life for Mel probably was still stagnant. Stuck in time. Her reaching out made more sense to Sevika now.
Mel was lonely.
"Great conversation starter."
"Thanks. I'm a treat at parties." Mel was still able to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Just hard to think she's gone sometimes."
Mel rubbed her head, her locs moving with her hand. Sevika had the urge to reach out but she stayed still. The woman in front of her was showing a part of herself that seemed to be oh so soft.
"I was out of commission for the latter half of the battle. But sounds like it was either her or you." Sevika shrugged. "Seems like you made the right choice."
Mel nodded. "You're right. I just wish things could of been different."
"Normalcy isn't granted to people like us." Sevika didn't know what made her say that. Mel could of easily joined her mother, Sevika didn't have chances like that.
"It isn't." Mel wiped at a stray tear. "Sorry, I probably sound ridiculous."
"A little."
"You weren't supposed to agree." Mel's tone was the most alive Sevika had heard it. She hated how she wanted to see more of it.
"Too bad."
The two continued on talking. Sevika didn't bring her guard all the way down, but the alcohol loosened her up. Mel bared all of herself. Sevika was the first person in awhile that didn't seem to fear her or put her on a pedestal. It felt like a normal conversation. At least the little normal they could both experience.
Sevika ended up leaving her room hours later, and came the week after. And the next week after that one. It was now a routine, for the two to sit and just enjoy each others company. Sometimes they would talk about everything and other nights they would just sit in silence.
A few months later, a night filled with talking brought up the subject of sleep.
"Sometimes a cigar helps settle me down. Other than that, I don't stay asleep for too long." Sevika said.
"How come?"
Mel's head somehow ended up in Sevika's lap, with Sevika's hands spread on the back of the couch. Touch became more normal for them, nothing was said about it. Sevika was too prideful to bring it up. She enjoyed the soft touches, knowing she'd be thinking about it later when she was alone.
"Body starts to ache if I stay still for too long." The damage to her body left her stiff, hard to hold too. But it seemed Mel didn't mind her hard lines and bruises.
"You must be an early riser then."
Sevika nodded. "What about you?"
"Me?"
"Your eyes always look tired. That fancy ass bed ain't treating you right?" Sevika kept out the part about the sadness she would see, knowing the comment wasn't needed.
"I get too many nightmares."
Memories of vines pulling at her limbs flashed in her mind. Too many nights waking up in sweat, thinking she was back with her brother that was long gone.
"Nothing helps?"
Mel shook her head. "Even the sleeping pills they give me don't do much."
"It's always been like this?"
"No. I think it's my powers. It keeps my mind…" Mel made a motion with her hand, a golden spark flowing from her hand. "Alive. It's like my body can't catch up."
Sevika didn't push. She wanted to know more about the nightmares, about the powers that were forced upon her. But she let silence take over.
"Maybe I could book you with one of our massage therapist." Mel suggested, changing the subject.
"Not letting someone touch me."
"What about me?"
Sevika stared down at the woman, who seemed more nervous now. Sevika leaned down. "If you can handle me, sure." Sevika knew what she was doing, but she wasn't going to make a move. Not yet, at least.
"I just have to gather some oils." Mel's eyes flicked to Sevika's plump lips. She didn't dare to give in. Knowing it would cross a line she didn't know Sevika would even let her break. She was already testing the waters with the touching. Mel cherished the time Sevika would spend with her. She didn't have to come to her room, but she did. And without complaint. The least she could do was keep her yearning to herself.
"Okay." Sevika straightened back up. "What about you?"
"Hm?"
"How can I help you sleep?"
"Don't concern yourself." Mel closed her eyes, signaling that she was done talking about it.
Sevika took that in. And she let Mel brush it off. The next week she came she brought her own "remedy".
Before her hand could knock, she heard Mel's voice from inside, "Just come in."
Sevika pushed the door open to see a massage table in the center of the room.
"How did you know it was me?"
"Just had a feeling." Mel was busying herself with the oils she was setting out.
"Whose this for?" Sevika gestured to the table.
"My lover, their coming in a few minutes." Mel looked at Sevika, irritated. "You, of course. Don't you remember what we talked about last week?"
"I thought you were joking."
"I don't joke."
"Don't lie."
Mel sucked her teeth, shaking her head. She grabbed a robe from her couch, pushing it in Sevika's arms.
"Go change."
And somehow now Sevika was in front of the bathroom mirror, slipping the robe over her naked body. Her brain yelled that this was trap, the same way Mel tried to cook and made her eat burnt Noxian roast.
She walked out, hoping she didn't look too ridiculous in the bright robe.
"Aw, you're cute."
Sevika ignored her comment. "I have something for you."
She pulled out the "remedy" she brought. Which was a vial of purple liquid. Shimmer.
Mel's eyes popped out of her head. "Is that what I think it is?"
Sevika was prepared for this. "I know you mentioned your body couldn't keep up. This will fix that. At least for an hour or two."
Mel picked up the vial, eyeing it. "Does it hurt?"
She was more open to this then Sevika thought she would be. "A bit at first."
"You want me to massage you with this in my system?"
"I need an extra umpth. Your arms don't look too jacked princess."
"You'd be surprised." Mel still kept her eye on the vial, hesitant.
"It's okay if you don't want to." Sevika reached for it back, but Mel opened it. Smelling it's contents.
"The whole thing?"
"Just take half. I'll finish the rest." Taking a huge amount on her first try would be too much. Pain didn't belong on that pretty face.
Mel took a deep breath, and tipped the vial back. Her lips tingled as she gave it back to Sevika, who gulped the rest down.
She didn't feel anything at first, just tasted the bitterness that it left in her throat. But then she started to feel her limbs tingle. Her eyes flashed purple as a pain throbbed at her skull. She grabbed at her head, but it quickly subsided.
The energy she felt made her feel renewed. Her body no longer felt slow, but efficient.
"This is…different."
"It was like that my first time too." Mel saw the purple light up in Sevika's scars. The robe she put her in was not made for tall people. It was the most amount of skin Mel saw from Sevika.
This was going to be hell.
Sevika laid out on the table. "Face down?"
Mel said a quiet yes. And got to work. Ignoring the feelings of want, but concentrating on the task at hand. The shimmer did it's job well, it made Mel's rubbing more pronounced against the tall woman's muscles.
The robe was now off, with just a towel covering Sevika's bottom half. Mel felt around her shoulders, feeling for any knots.
While Mel was going to town on her back, Sevika was loving it. Mel's arms felt strong, causing the aches around her mech arm to lessen. Massages were not a hot commodity down in Zaun, so this was all new.
The only problem was that Sevika was too excited about this. Her desires and shimmer were a dangerous mix, making it hard for her to not hump into the table below her.
"Okay, I'll turn around so you can flip over."
Sevika dared to speak. "You don't have to turn."
She couldn't see Mel's reaction. But she didn’t hear any movement, so she flipped around. The towel stayed put on her lower half, while her chest was fully exposed.
Sevika didn't move the towel over her top half, but she looked at Mel. Who looked like she was trying to catch her breath. Sevika could tell the shimmer was working well.
Mel didn't avert her eyes, but moved closer. It took everything in her to move the towel over Sevika's breasts. The two stayed in silence, as Mel moved down to Sevika's big thighs.
She moved the towel upwards, so she could see the woman's legs. Since this was Sevika's first massage she should of told her she could keep her underwear on, as she didn't see any undergarments peeking at her.
This didn't help her imagination as she rubbed along the woman's legs. There was many nights before where Mel imagined these same legs crushing her in various types of ways. But they were friends…right?
Her fingers brushed against Sevika's inner thigh, making it hard for Sevika to stay still. A quiet gasp escaped from her mouth, when Mel hit a good spot.
"Are you okay?" Mel asked. The shimmer was making her movements more sure and rough. She hoped it wasn't hurting Sevika too much.
"I'm fine." Sevika's voice was more airy than usual.
"I'm almost done."
She moved to Sevika's head, cradling her hands under the woman's neck. Sevika watched her do this the whole time, which didn't help her nerves. She thumbs ran relaxing circles against Sevika's neck, Mel was able to witness another gasp from Sevika. One that was a little louder.
She went through a few passes before Sevika grabbed her hand.
"I think that's enough."
"Was I too rough?"
"No. That's not the problem." Sevika rose up, the towel slipping off of her. "Thank you."
She stretched her arms over her head, which didn't calm the thoughts running in Mel's head.
"I'll go get your clothes."
"Let me return the favor." Sevika rose up, naked and all. Mel's eyes rose to her ceiling.
"Oh, it's okay."
Sevika moved closer, so Mel couldn't avoid her gaze. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
The problem was she was making her too comfortable. "Don't ask silly questions."
Sevika laughed. "Then what's wrong?"
"You know what you're doing." Mel's body was screaming at her.
"No, I don't actually."
The two continued to stare at each other, daring the other to break.
Sevika grabbed Mel's arms, leaning her against the massage table. "Let me help you relax."
Mel's heart was beating a mile a minute. But she nodded. Knowing whatever Sevika was about to do wasn't going to be a damn massage.
Mel slipped her night gown down her shoulders, it slowly dropped to the floor. Leaving her in only her flesh tone underwear.
"Lay down on your back."
She followed Sevika's order, her pussy beating terribly. Sevika's hands rubbed along Mel's body, feather light touches that had Mel vibrating in anticipation.
"Can I take this off?" Sevika played with the top of Mel's underwear, waiting for her answer.
"Yes." Mel lifted her bottom half, helping Sevika slides the garment down her legs.
"You're already so wet for me. How cute."
Mel whined, rolling her head back. "Just fucking touch me."
Sevika's thumb brushed against Mel's clit, who was happy to see her. "Like that?"
She continued with her ministrations, kneading Mel's mound but barely touch her bud. She slipped her two fingers in her mouth, and returned it to Mel's center. Rubbing circles between her lower lips.
Mel chased the feeling, her hips lifting up.
"Don't be impatient." Sevika used her left arm to hold Mel down.
A moan slipped from Mel's mouth when Sevika slipped a tip of her finger inside her. She didn't venture too far, but as she pumped inside the golden woman opened up for her bit by bit. Sevika's fingers eventually broke through, she could feel the spongy spot she was looking for.
Her fingers continued moving inside of Mel, leaving her clit unattended. Sevika grabbed Mel's legs, lifting them so she could have full access to what was hers. She was able to go deeper, bullying Mel's cunt into submission.
"Go faster." Mel gasped.
And so Sevika did. Her pace punishing and hard. Cum coated her fingers as she got lost in the motion, curling her fingers just so. Maybe pain did look good on Mel, as long as she was the one causing it.
Mel's moans were so sweet on Sevika's ears. She decided to give in, finally rubbing Mel's clit. That seemed to bring her overboard, as Mel's body shook violently. The cum increased on Sevika's digits, she couldn't wait to taste it.
She let Mel go through the waves of her orgasm, still pumping inside her. But slower and more gentle. She let the woman's legs back down and slowly took her fingers out. Sevika made a show of licking her palm, not wasting a drop.
Mel was spent. But her body wanted more, she could still feel the shimmer ramping her up for another round.
Her hand gripped Sevika's neck, pulling her down. The strength from Mel took Sevika by surprise, but she met the woman's mouth. Glad she was able to finally feel the lips she would day dream about. The two kissed sloppily, like they had done this a thousands times before.
Sevika reluctantly pulled away. "You okay?"
"What did I say about asking silly questions?" Mel pecked her lips. "I'm not sleepy yet." She took Sevika's nipple in her hand, and twisted it lightly. The action made Sevika pant.
"Let's move this to my room." Mel whispered.
The rest of the activities that night were definitely not platonic. But Sevika got a full night's rest, one that she hadn't had in awhile. And so did Mel, wrapped around the woman that made her feel less lonely and seen.
i have a surgery date but just dealing with the reality of being visibly trans. excited but dredging the amount of transphobia i’m going to experience.
i just know living around my family after procedure is gonna be challenging 🤧🥹
Hi, I'm Nathan and I'm fundraising because Amanda, the love o… Nathan Sprayberry needs your support for Making up lost wages after a string
I've missed about a month's worth of work days (30 altogether) due to repeated hospitalizations in the last few weeks, and I'm due to miss more because corrective surgery is all but certain at this point.
No pressure to donate, of course, because we're all struggling, but if you wouldn't mind giving this a boost at least, I'd appreciate it.
The hospital just called and cancelled my surgery because I can't pay the deposit in time. Thanks for trying everyone.
EDIT: And now my husband is out of work until the Govt shutdown ends, which who knows when that's going to happen. Please help if you can, I literally do not make enough to pay our bills by myself, working full time.
Your cheating ex is getting married to her new girlfriend, and you're invited to the wedding! Your first impulse is to send the e-vite straight to spam, but your coworker has a different idea...
vi x reader, fake dating AU. 2.4k
The night air is cold, even through your shawl. You tug it in closer, to no avail. You could go inside. But instead, you stare up at the night sky. There are no stars, there never are in the city. The moon is beautiful, though.
“Are you cold?” someone asks from behind you. You turn. It’s your date for the night. Vi. She’s leaned up against the doorframe, suave and unbothered. She’s played her role perfectly tonight. You? Not so much. The reception isn’t even over and you’re hiding out.
Vi slides the door shut behind her, and you turn back to the sky.
“Do you want to go home?” she asks. Her voice is soft and warm, and you want to wrap yourself up in it, in her. Which is the problem.
When she offered to be your date to your ex’s wedding, you had turned her down. You weren’t even planning on going. You deleted the invitation as soon as you got it.
But Vi had been persistent, had hatched a plan between shifts. She would pretend to be your girlfriend to show everyone you had moved on, that what Bianca did hadn’t broken you. And eventually you agreed. A few strategically posted Instagram stories later, and she showed up at your front door, dressed to kill (or at least break some hearts), and ready to take you to the wedding of the woman who had shattered you.
Vi ambles closer to you and wraps one arm around your waist. The door behind you is glass, and you can practically feel the gaze of curious wedding-goers burning hot against your back. They’d been gawking all night. Because of that, and only because of that, you nestle in closer. She’s warm and solid against you, finally some relief from the bitter chill.
“No,” you answer her question finally. “I’m fine.”
She laughs. “That’s why you’ve been hiding?”
You bristle at that. “I’m not hiding. I’m taking a smoke break.”
There was no cigarette in sight. That was a joke between the two of you. Vi was quitting, but still insisted on taking her smoke break every hour. “It gives me time to think,” she would say.
“Ah, I see.” Vi nods sagely. “Well, I think it might be time to go back into the party.”
You groan and bury your face in her shoulder. “Don’t say that.”
“Another hour and we can leave,” she promises. She tilts your face up to look at her. “You look beautiful.”
Your face burns hot despite the cold. “You said that already.”
“And it’s still true.” She grabs the door for you, and you murmur a thanks as you step through. Things like that come easy for Vi. Holding open doors, compliments, tender embraces. You know life has never been kind to her, but somehow some part of her has managed to stay soft. It makes you feel better about your own mushy center.
Stepping back in from the balcony feels like being transported into another world. The city outside is grey, painted blue by the moonlight. Everything inside is white, beige, cream, accented by the gold of dangling chandeliers. You always knew Bianca’s family had money, one of the many points of conflict between the two of you, but not like this.
“It’s too much, right?” Vi whispers next to you, close enough you feel the words more than hear them. “The decorations? It’s tacky.”
You smile and nod, but there’s a pit in your stomach. Eight months ago, you would have killed for this to be your tacky wedding. Instead, you found your girlfriend, the love of your life, tangled up with her coworker in your bed. And so, you had to completely restart your life. Everything was tainted with traces of her. Your apartment, your shared friends.
The only thing that’s stayed the same since then was Vi, your coworker at The Last Drop. Nothing had changed between the two of you. Until now.
Vi takes your hand in hers brings it up to her lips. The gesture shocks and thrills you. It’s too much, too over the top in its affection. You should tell her to dial it back, tell her that she’s overdoing it. Bianca never did things like that. But you can’t quite bring yourself to stop her.
“Let’s dance,” she says.
It’s not a request. She drags you after her onto the floor. The song is slow, so she pulls you in close, positioning you like a rag doll. She sways the two of you to the beat; she’s got an alright sense of rhythm. The music is gentle and hypnotic. You want to rest your head on her shoulder, to melt into her. You stay upright though, and smile when her eyes meet yours. You feel lighter.
Vi has that effect on you. That’s why you were hiding. Not Bianca.
Because you told yourself were done with all of this – with dating, with relationships. But when Vi smiled at you, or held you in her arms, it was too easy to forget why that was the case. Vi seemed different, but you never guessed Bianca would have done what she did. It wasn’t worth the heartache.
And that’s your mantra as Vi pulls you in closer. What you tell yourself as you succumb to her gravitational pull and bury your face in the crook of her neck. The song ends, and you pull back. The spell isn’t broken. You still feel warm and gooey, melted through.
You don’t go back to your seats. You dance through three more songs, one slow and two more up tempo. During the last song, Vi spins you so fast you the room blurs, and you can’t help but laugh. You know people are staring, that the two of you are making a scene. You can’t help it.
Then it’s time to say goodbyes. This is the moment you had been dreading.
“We can just leave,” Vi suggests, face close to yours. The whole dinner she had been in your space. Hand on yours. Arm wrapped around you. Anchoring you.
“We have to,” you say, stomach tight. It was why you came.
You wait in line, Vi’s hand in yours. She squeezes, once, and shoots you a tight nod. “Moment of truth,” she whispers. You smile back with a confidence you don’t feel.
When you finally reach Bianca, you almost bolt. The last time you saw her you were telling her to rot in hell.
She smiles when she sees you, but you’re not sure it reaches her eyes.
She hugs you, and your skin burns where she touches you.
“I didn’t think you would show,” she says, when she finally pulls away. Her hands stay on you, rubbing wide circles on your upper arms.
“Then why send the invite?” Vi asks. Her tone is clipped.
Bianca doesn’t answer, and instead asks you, “And who is this?” Like she didn’t already know.
Moment of truth, like Vi said. “This is Vi. My girlfriend.”
Bianca’s eyebrows twitch, slightly. Her hands fall to her side. Then she schools her expression. “Am I allowed to say you moved on fast?”
Vi answers for you. “No.”
Bianca laughs amicably. “I guess that’s fair.”
It’s so warm in here. You miss the cool night air.
“But it seems you were wrong,” she continues. “Jess and I are the real deal.” A petty reference to one of the many things you had screamed at her that night - that she and Jess would never make it because Bianca was a heartless monster.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Vi asks, hand on the small of your waist.
“Nothing,” you say.
“Inside joke,” Bianca says, with a wink. Your face heats hotter still. You wonder if everyone else can hear your conversation, if they’re silently judging you. Pitying you. You wonder whose side everyone is on. Is it even possible that it’s yours? After all, they showed up tonight.
“We should go,” Vi says, looking at you, concern clear on your face. You can’t bring yourself to wish that she was better at hiding her emotions. You like that it’s all out there, that she’s an open book.
“Yeah,” you reply, voice small. You turn to Bianca. “It was good to see you.”
Bianca smiles, eyes crinkling this time. You wonder if that means you lost. “You too.”
She looks like she wants another hug, but you turn before she can reach for you. Vi’s hand is firm on your back, guiding you to the door.
Before you leave, she stops you. “She’s watching,” she says. You know who she’s talking about. “I’m gonna kiss you, okay?”
You nod, palms wet. Vi leans in, and suddenly it’s all too real. And you consider stopping her, just for a second. It’s too late though. If you do, everyone will catch on that it’s fake. Or they’ll think you’re fighting because of her. So, you let Vi’s kiss you.
She’s a good kisser. Lips soft, with a firm hand on your jaw guiding you. If you weren’t floating in outer space, looking down at your own body, you probably would enjoy it. When she pulls away, she rests her forehead on yours. “I think she saw that.”
That jars you back to reality. You remember where you are, that people were watching at all. It had just been so long since you had been kissed, you tell yourself. It was confusing you.
“Let’s go,” you beg.
She rubs her thumb over the apple of your cheek. “Sure thing. Walk slow”
In the car, it takes everything in you not to cry.
“She was such a bitch,” Vi says.
She was. And the crazy thing was, until you had to talk to her you were actually having a good night. The best.
“You hungry?” Vi asks. You hadn’t touched your food all night – you hadn’t thought she noticed, though. Before you can answer, she’s punching the address to the closest fast-food place into her beat up android.
You both order way too much food, and Vi pulls into the closest parking spot so you can feast.
Your stomach is getting dangerously close to eating itself, but instead of unwrapping your sandwich you look at Vi, who experiences no such hesitation.
“Why’d you do this?” you ask.
Vi looks bewildered. “You seemed hungry.”
“Not the food.” You shift in your seat. “Why’d you come with me tonight.”
She pauses before answering. The part of you that’s stuck in that bedroom with Bianca tells you it’s because she’s concocting some lie. A more generous part, the one that’s taken with the sharp tailoring of her suit jacket and the tussle of her hair, wants to believe she’s shoring up courage to confess. That this was where she would tell you that it was because she wants you, because she’s always wanted you –
“I thought you needed closure,” she answers, finally.
Oh. “You were being a good friend.” You offer a tight smile. It’s a good reason, even if it’s not the one you were hoping for in your heart of hearts.
She tilts her head thoughtfully. “Yeah, I guess we are friends, huh?”
You nudge her. “Of course we are. What else would we be?” But your heart is blistering in your chest.
She doesn’t hesitate this time. “Coworkers, obviously.” She grins at the way you roll your eyes and snatches one of your fries out of the bag.
“Hey!” You try to snatch it back, but it’s in her mouth in a blink.
“Too slow,” she says, mouth full. You wrinkle your nose, and she laughs, head thrown back.
You play with your fingers, giving them something to do, so you don’t do something stupid, like reach out for her.
It’s two AM when you leave the parking lot. You don’t want the night to end. You want to invite her up, but you can’t think of an excuse that wouldn’t make your desperation for her obvious.
She walks you to the door, tie loosened, suit jacket abandoned.
You turn back to say something, maybe just goodnight, but Vi beats you to it.
“Can I tell you something?” she asks. Her gaze is piercing, and the focused beam of her attention makes you want to squirm.
Instead, you raise a brow. “Can I stop you?”
“I like you. I think I’ve always had a thing for you. Ever since you started working at the bar.” The words knock the air out of you. You would accuse her of lying, of playing some kind of cruel trick, but she’s so solemn you know she’s telling the truth. “That’s why I wanted you to come to this. I thought maybe it would give you some closure, help you move one. I wasn’t lying” Her eyes go wide, and the earnestness in her gaze makes you want to gobble her up. “But, or also, I guess, I wanted to be there when it happened. Because maybe you would be ready.”
“Ready for what?” you ask, breathless. It’s funny how getting what you want feels a lot like having the wind knocked out of you. Like standing at the edge of a steep cliff, too scared to look down.
She doesn’t answer immediately, instead takes a half step closer to you. You stand your ground. So, she moves closer still. One rough hand curls delicately around the back of your neck. “For this,” she whispers, and her lips are on yours again.
You had thought she was good at this before. It turns out, Vi was better when it the real deal.
She starts to pull away, and you fist your hands into her shirt to keep her where she is. She doesn’t protest, just wraps her other arm around you and pulls you in closer.
Kissing her is a revelation. You can’t for the life of you understand why you had never done it sooner. You would kick yourself, but you’re too thrilled.
You pull away, just a hair, to whisper, “Do you want to come inside?”
Her fingers skim along the edge of your face, kissing your cheeks. “Not tonight, princess.” Your stomach flips at the nickname even as it sinks in disappointment. “Have to take you on a real date first.”
“I don’t mind,” you say, maybe too fast from the way that Vi laughs. There’s nothing mean spirited about it, though. She kisses your cheek. You close your eyes and will time to slow down. It doesn’t.
“Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Another brush of your cheek. And then, just like that, she’s headed down the stairs. She throws another look at you before turning the corner, grin rakish and entirely self-satisfied. You can’t bring yourself to be irritated. Your whole body is vibrating with excitement.
Maybe you’ll regret this. Maybe you’ll look back on this night and curse yourself for ever letting someone else in, for letting yourself get hurt all over again.
Drunk could not even cover the way Sevika felt right now. She wobbled on her feet, finally making her way their hotel door. Her key card was somewhere, but she couldn't remember if it was in her pants pocket or suit jacket.
Mel was hot on her back, her hands didn't stay still, as she used Sevika's body to stay standing. The fifth glass of wine did her in good, and she wanted to expel that energy on her new wife. Wife. She was now Sevika's wife.
The day was long and nerve wracking, but they were finally married. Mel's body was still sore from all the dancing, but excitement still thrummed through her.
"Sevikaaaaa." Mel's hands gripped at Sevika, holding her like she'd fly away if she let go.
"Yes?" Sevika slurred her words, the card to the room was not in her pockets.
"We're married baby. Can you believe it?" Mel leaned too hard, causing the both of them to slam into the door. Mel's arms caged her ex fiance in.
Sevika grabbed on to Mel, trying to keep herself up. "I can."
"You can?" Mel asked so sweetly, lips pouted and everything.
Sevika grabbed Mel's face with her hands. Both of their eyes were shiny as hell, looking at each other lovingly. "I love you. Of course I can believe it."
"Oh, you're so corny!" Mel's voice carried into the hallway. But Sevika didn't care, her wife could be as loud as she wanted.
"You married my corny ass." Sevika snorted, making Mel bust out a squeak. Sevika's brows furrowed in frustration, searching her body. "I just want to make love to my beautiful wifeeeee, where is the key."
Mel pulled the card out from her bra, waving it around. "I forgot I put it in here."
Sevika grabbed it, and swiped it against the door. She missed a few times, but the door eventually clicked to let them in.
The room was decked out. Mel's mom was well off, so the wedding was all on Ambessa's dime. It was a suite that had the two walk into the main area, the place could be mistaken for apartment penthouse.
The two shuffled in, not even bothering to look around. Too caught up in each other's embrace.
They somehow ended up on the rug in front of the living room's big ass tv. Sevika's body covered Mel's, her mission was to leave as many marks on Mel as she could.
"Sevikaaa, we should shower first." Mel moaned as Sevika left a bruising kiss above her heart.
"Do you want me to stop?" Sevika's voice carried a bit of a whine.
"No." Mel brought her closer, wrapping her legs around the woman above her. The reception dress she wore rode up, revealing the black lace around her hips.
Sevika carried on with her trail, sliding the dress off of Mel's shoulders. Her lips met Mel's stomach, enjoying the soft belly hair she had felt a thousand times before.
"Lift up." Sevika couldn't finish a full sentence, but she knew she wanted her wife's legs around her head. She waited for Mel to move, eyes focused on the panties in front of her.
Mel stayed still.
Sevika glanced up, only to see Mel's head tilted all the way back, mouth agape. No longer was she panting heavily for release, but her breathing was heavy enough to snore. Mel was knocked the fuck out.
"Oh, baby." Sevika couldn't help but shake her head, showing her gap in a drunk smile. She knew how Mel got with wine, and they were on their feet all day. The fact that they even got this far was a miracle.
Sevika picked her wife up like nothing, carrying her into their temporary bedroom in a bridal's pose. She settled Mel under the blankets, and slid in beside her.
"Shower my ass." Sevika said as she wrapped her arm around her spouse, burying her head on Mel's chest. She didn't bother changing them out of their dress clothes, knowing she'd be too uncoordinated. She'd just have to deal with that in the morning.
No one talks about the personality shift as you get older. Where you no longer want to be impressive, you want to be rested. You want to be regulated and completely unavailable to anything that drains you.
“We can still back out if you want dear.” Mel shouted from the passenger seat. Sevika rummaged through the trunk of their truck, making sure everything was packed. Food, towels, and sandals were neatly organized in bags and totes. Courtesy of her very Type A girlfriend.
“I mean we already bought the tickets.” Sevika closed the trunk. She made her way to the driver's seat, turning the key into the ignition. “Didn’t you want to try something new anyway?”
Mel couldn't help the coy smile making its way onto her face. “I know.” Her fingers tapped at her butch’s arm that rested between them. “I just know you had your complaints.”
When Mel first mentioned the nude beach, Sevika’s first answer was no. She didn’t want to chance seeing old men and their wrinkly balls. But like most things, Mel was able to warm her up to the idea. It was a paid curated event anyway, specifically for queer millennials, so at least their type of people would be the majority.
“I’ll be fine.” Sevika’s voice stayed even, but a nagging thought still tugged at her. “This isn’t an excuse for you to check out other people?”
Mel gasped, even had the gall to put a hand on her chest. “Never! My eyes are only for you baby.”
“Right.”
“Don’t be jealous.” Mel tsked. “I should be the one complaining anyway.” Her eyes gazed upon the art that was Sevika’s body. She chose a breezy shirt to wear today with some swim shorts to match. It would be hard for Mel to let others gaze upon what was hers but she wanted to enjoy this once in a lifetime experience.
Sevika backed out of the driveway, putting her hand behind Mel’s headrest. “Is that right?”
“Mhm.” Mel leaned in to peck her lips. “You think we’ll have to stop for gas?”
“I filled up this morning, don’t worry bout it.”
“So smart.” Mel patted Sevika’s cheek, caressing the skin underneath her palm.
Sevika's face broke into a shy smile as she turned the wheel to go down the street. The sun chasing the two as they drove.
________
When they first drove up to the parking lot next to the beach, it looked like no one was there. Save for a few vendors Mel was able to spot on the drive there.
"You think anybody came?" Sevika looked around not seeing a person in sight.
Mel pulled out her phone, checking the ticket site. "It says it's sold out."
The two grabbed their stuff out of the trunk and stepped foot onto the sand. A sign not too far ahead said something in a cursive font: Nude Queers on the Right
"I think it's talking to us." Mel giggled, hand covering her toothy smile.
"Very subtle." Sevika quipped.
After following the directions, the two finally stumbled across a bend that revealed all the queers and their naked glory. People of all shapes and shades were layed on the beach, basking in the rays. Some were splashing in the water, even throwing a beach ball in the air, falling into the water when they failed to catch it. The smell of bbq filled their noses, as more vendors greeted them as they walked along the sand.
Mel tried not to stare too much, but as she walked along she noticed everyone was in their own little world. Some people chose to go full nude, while others were scantily clad.
"This should be a good spot." Mel turned to her partner, who started to set up underneath an unoccupied beach umbrella.
Putting out everything didn't take too long, but the anticipation of what came next wracked around Mel's brain. She suggested the outing, but actually being here felt more daunting the more she thought about it.
Lost in her thoughts, Mel didn't notice her girlfriend staring at her worried expression. Sevika came up behind her, rubbing at her shoulders.
"You good?"
Mel sank into her touch. "Think I underestimated the point of the beach a tad bit."
"I mean, you don't have to take off anything if you don't want to."
"But I at least want to try." Mel tugged at her sundress, where her bare skin brushed underneath the fabric.
"Maybe this will help." Sevika sat Mel down on her beach chair, standing above her. She led Mel's hands under her shirt, letting her hands feel her stomach.
"Are you offering a boob squeeze for emotional support?"
"No smartass." Sevika placed Mel's roaming hands to the hem of her shirt. "Pull it off of me."
Mel raised an eyebrow at her. But she obliged, slowly unbottoning the top. It shrugged off Sevika's shoulders, revealing her chest and toned stomach. Like always, Mel was in awe. She took advantage of their position, pulling the masc in closer.
"Raise your arms." Sevika commanded again.
Mel followed along, not taking her eyes off of Sevika's gray ones. Without breaking eye contact, Sevika pulled Mel's dress above her head. The only thing still on Mel's body was a thin thong sitting on top of her pretty hair.
Sevika looked down at her lovely girlfriend, admiring the way the sun made her skin glow. "You doing okay?"
Mel nodded, tugging at Sevika's shorts. "Can I take these off?"
"Be my guest."
Mel smiled as she pulled the shorts down. Sevika chose to not wear anything underneath, leaving Mel with an eyeful.
After that, Mel was able to settle her heart rate. She could fully appreciate the heat on her skin now. She chanced a look around again, thinking someone saw that somewhat indecent display but no one seemed to care.
A strange sense of freeness took over Mel.
Sevika rummaged through one of the tote bags, pulling out some sunscreen.
Without words, Mel laid out against the chair. Body waiting for Sevika's hands to touch her. Sevika squeezed some lotion on Mel's stomach, sliding against Mel's skin. Mel applauded herself for keeping her hands at her sides.
"Turn over for me." Mel flipped over, so Sevika could get the middle of her back. She took her proesthetic off so the lotion wouldn't stain it. Her right hand ventured lower as she rubbed the lotion slowly. With no shame whatsover, her second pass stayed a tad too long on Mel's perky butt.
"Feeling something you like?"
"Of course." Sevika patted her cheek, before finishing up with her legs.
Mel was met with a wide grin as she grabbed the bottle from her. "My turn."
She gathered lotion at her hands, and got to work. Sevika chose to stay sitting, letting Mel move around her to get every nook and cranny.
"No butt huh?"
Sevika rolled her eyes, but laid down so Mel could get her back side. Which led to some butt patting as well.
snowghoul
kaledo-art
germansingergirl
