We The People… are confused. Let’s update a dusty document and modernize it so everyone can understand the language. Grab some chalk, head outside and rewrite the US Constitution as street art. As Richard Dobbs Speight once said. “Bigger is better.”
This constitution is to establish that our clique, the United States, will be chill and fair AF, and will defend ourselves and our people, without oppressing each other or our children.
Congress will be made up of two branches—one of Senators and one of Representatives, so that big states feel powerful and little states also feel powerful.
Reps will be elected every two years. They have to have been a member of our clique for seven years, and be over twenty five years old.
Every ten years we will count our peeps to see how many representatives everyone gets. Also, ever since the 13th and 14th amendment, we count African Americans as entire people! Even Native Americans get counted! #Diversity
If a rep bails on their peeps, they will be replaced by election. If a senator bails on their peeps, they will be replaced by the governor until an election can be held.
The House will chose their speaker, and are the only ones that get to impeach—although impeachment trials are held in the Senate so, sucks to suck.
Each state gets two senators. So chill, Rhode Island. They get six year terms, but they’re going to be staggered so that they aren’t all up for reelection at once. That would be CHAOS.
You have to be thirty years old, and a squad member for nine years to be a senator. Also, the VP is the “boss” of the Senate, but that’s just to give John Adams something to do: they won’t get to vote, unless it’s to break a tie.
Remember that impeachment trial? There must be a two-thirds vote in the Senate for someone to be removed from office.For which ex-cons cannot run, BTW.
Federal elections will be held by the states, with some “help” from Congress. Congress shall have a mandatory get-together starting early Dec-3 Jan.
The House and Senate will gatekeep their own lunch tables if they have 50% agreement. Squad members can be kicked out with a 2/3rds vote, but only half is needed for “lesser punishment.”
Congress must blog what they’re up to. And Vacay is 3 days only! (loopholes available.)
Congressfolk will be paid by the treasury. They can’t be arrested for shit they say unless it’s like, a murder confession. Or treason. Also, they can’t raise their own allowances. Just the next guy’s.
The House is the only squad to propose a tax bill, but the Senate can add extra goodies. They also have to OK it. Then the prez has to approve, or be Formally Ignored by a 2/3rds majority. Unless POTUS just sticks the bill somewhere and ignores it. Forever.
CONGRESS CAN: Tax, and spend tax $, borrow money, regulate commerce (sort of), (literally) make $$$.
It was at this point that I was told to stop defacing safeway property. But not before I met this amazing and topical dude:
(this is the only circumstance I can imagine being excited at meeting someone who has the preamble tattooed on his arm. Who does that.)