Changki Month Day 31 the final day! {no prompt used}
Kihyun had never used the four letter l word with Changkyun before, but little gestures gave him every hint of the way he truly felt. The casual hand holding so the other ‘doesn’t get lost in the crowd’ or the way he’ll lean his head on Changkyun’s shoulder and sleep, an amount of affection he refuses to present to no one else.
It’s always those small things, lingering stares, hugs that last that little bit longer than a friend should be considered. The secret smiles, the shared butterflies. Surely, changkyun thinks, there must be some butterflies somewhere in Kihyun’s chest. There must be a pain in his lungs when he forgets to breathe like Changkyun does whenever he takes in Kihyun’s appearance.
In a full-face of makeup, or with nothing but his natural state, he’s still breathtaking.
Changkyun isn’t sure if he needs to hear the l word, the one that Kihyun seems to be so scared of. Changkyun can’t help but wonder if bringing up the topic would change everything, would the small intimacies stop? Would Kihyun hate him? Will he say this has all been completely misunderstood and he doesn’t actually have feelings for Changkyun whatsoever?
Changkyun’s chest hurts, and he wishes desperately that he could swap with Kihyun. They’d be at an understanding, he’d know if Kihyun’s heart rate picks up every time his hand brushes against his knee at a fansign, or when their heads turn at the perfect time whilst hugging and they’re almost close enough to kiss.
His hair falls over his face, and Changkyun huffs as he ruffles his fingers through it. It attracts little attention from Kihyun, who looks at him with a face full of concern from the other side of the table.
It’s moments like these; Minhyuk is cracking a joke loudly, and all eyes are on him, except for Changkyun’s and Kihyun’s. They’re staring at each other across the table, and even though they’re surrounded so many people, it’s like they’re the only two in the entire room.
Kihyun tilts his head, silently asking Changkyun what’s wrong. Changkyun diverts his eyes to the hallway and then back to Kihyun. Nothing has to be exchanged verbally between them for them to both take a stand, their destination in sight.
No one questions it, for the most part, they don’t really notice. Changkyun feels unsteady, what should he tell Kihyun? That he was thinking about his hurting heart, or that it pains him to think of what could lead to destruction of whatever it is that they’ve built over these years.
“You’re quiet, too quiet.” Kihyun says, folding his arms once they’re in the privacy of their shared room at the end of the corridor. Changkyun can hear Minhyuk and Jooheon’s booming laughter from the kitchen, and he tries to channel it out as he hesitates his words.
“Changkyun,” Kihyun breathes, he’s clearly being careful, “Use your words.”
“I just-” He starts to talk, and then he stops.
“What are you afraid of, Changkyun?” Kihyun asks, placing a hand on his cheek.
Changkyun looks at him, taking in his unknowing eyes for the last time before whispering, “you.”
Kihyun frowns, “Me? What do you mean?”
“You… this… us.” Changkyun can’t seem to form a sentence, “My head, I just have so many feelings and you, god I really can’t stop feeling for you.” He’s unsure if what he’s saying even makes sense, his head is spinning, his stomach is sick with nausea. It’s like being drunk when you’re stone cold sober. Changkyun feels anxious, like he might be sick, his butterflies are battering his chest and he’s sure he might fall if his buckling knees finally give way.
Kihyun’s hand slides off Changkyun’s face, and he sits down on the closest bed. His own. Changkyun is tempted to leave, but Kihyun is patting the space beside him and, like always, he falls into Kihyun’s every demand.
“Do you actually feel like that, or did Minhyuk talk to you?”
“What?” Changkyun asked, “Minhyuk? What has Minhyuk got to do with this?”
Kihyun sighed, “So you’re saying this off your own back. I guess Minhyuk was drunker than I thought.”
“Kihyun, I don’t understand.”
“Do you know how long I’ve liked you Changkyun? I’ve been dropping hints for ages, and you never seemed to notice. One night me and Minhyuk drunk in the practice room and I admitted everything to him. I thought his loud mouth would have announced it by now but he clearly forgot.”
Changkyun swallowed, “So what you’re saying is, you like me too?”
Kihyun looked at Changkyun. “Yes, I guess I am.”
They both sit in silence. What should be a celebration feels more uncomfortable. For the first time, neither of them know what to say, and it’s not something sleep can help wear off. Changkyun needs to use his words, but they fail him.
“How long?” Kihyun asked, “How long have you liked me, I mean.”
Changkyun shrugged, “Long enough that I can’t remember how long.”
That made Kihyun smile. “I started liking you ages ago, but I didn’t realise it until Christmas. All I remember is looking at you, you were sat in front of the Christmas tree and the lights were shining and all I could think was that I wanted you to shine forever.”
“Shine forever, huh, we should turn that into a song.” Changkyun chuckled, continued to grin when Kihyun punched him on the arm.
“I’m being serious, asshole.”
“So am I.” Changkyun wrapped his arms around Kihyun’s waist, placing his head on his shoulder. “If I had to make a song out of the way I’ve felt for you it would go something like would you be so kind as to fall in love with me.”
Kihyun chuckled, pressing a kiss over the mass of messy hair. “So literate when singing. Not in normal socialising situations.”
Changkyun looked up, pressing his lips against Kihyun’s. “I don’t need to talk, not when I have something I could be putting my lips to a better cause.”
Kihyun hummed, “You’re not wrong.”
They kissed again, then a third time, and then Changkyun lost count altogether.