are you ignoring me or am i just worrying too much: an autobiography
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are you ignoring me or am i just worrying too much: an autobiography
Have you ever lived a life where the thing you look forward too most in a day is what your next meal is going to be? Except you don't enjoy food because it makes you sick. Not only does it make you sick but it makes you fat. Being fat is one of the reasons youre alone. But you're also alone because no one likes your personality. No one values you as someone close to you. You're disposable. Men only invite you over not invite you out. You're talented but never good enough. Except the fact you don't believe in yourself is the only thing that keeps you from being great. And you CANT STOP THINKING. all you long for is silence. Silence that can't be obtained by being alone because your body runs at a million miles per hour even when it's stationary. You feel crazy. And the only way you know to fix it is to prolong it. Cope.
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Things I learned
In the first year of college I feel like I learned a few things about myself.
- college isn't going to change the fact I'm not amazing at making friends
- it's hard to stay motivated when you can't see the progress but it's absolutely necessary
- i'm worthy of being loved for who I am, in highschool I spent so much time with people who loved me for who they wanted me to be
- i don't need to do my makeup for 3 hours to be valid.
- my life goal isn't to be skinny. I have rolls and they're beautiful
- I can't uphold other people to my standards I set for myself
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