I think in my language, write in my language and then translate and it takes longer than it would if i were an english speaker. And it's a hard job, especially when you have to convey something that only makes sense in your language. When I wrote my first stories I only got comments like that i shouldn't post without betas, that things didn't make sense, that things like that shouldn't be posted and if i couldn't write in another language, i shoudn't do it all. And that made me feel like shit because I was trying my best.
I try to create good description because I want people to be able to see the scenes, the rooms, the slightest touches and every feeling and emotion. Because I love that. I spend time focusing on everyone psychology because I want to make them more human possible, grey, flaws and merits, so that no one is the victim and no one is the villain, so that we can emphasise with different characters.
So I spend more time trying to get the right words and grammar, than writing, honestly...word reference and Merriam-Webster had become by best friends and even some sites who let find the words to write like Jane Austen because if I write regency I’d love to give you a good experience. so sometimes things are more correct than a native speaker would get (and sometimes they're wrong and i'm fine with it).
Do I have to show you my C1 in English? Do I have to tell you I’ve started reading at 4, and 30 years later I’m still here because it’s the best thing I can do in life and I have a big vocabulary for that? Do I have to show you the screenshots of my ff in Italian written in Ellipsus? I don’t want to do it because that would made me feel stupid.
And even if I think things should be imperfect, because it's FF and not the next american novel, I believe, unfortunately the sense of humiliation I got, wins every time, making me try to get it right so not to be judged. So if you want imperfection, maybe try to be kinder and more patient to people who are only trying to do a thing that makes them happy, to give something that they’re proud of to other people, to let them enjoy it.
If it has to be a witch hunt because you can’t get some people can write, write your own and we’ll keep ours and maybe learn another language so you can stop being a little shit towards us, because English mostly is the second and sometimes even third language we know. And I am also pissed I had to write this but I’m really tired.
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