Am I crazy? I might end up crazy...

+idonthaveabrother

"No, I don’t ‘know it’, Natalie! I’m not deluding myself. It would be deluding myself to think that she could wake up tomorrow cured. It would be deluding myself to say that your mother doesn’t have a debilitating disease. But to think that we can get past that, get through it, together? That’s not deluding myself. That’s hope." He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head as he looked at her. "That’s not true. Your mother is sick, Natalie Goodman. It is a medical disorder. She is sick. You aren’t borderline suicidal, Natalie!” His voice had risen unbidden; when he noticed he took a a deep breath, speaking in a quieter tone. “You cannot blame your mother for having this anymore than you could blame her for some other genetic disorder that manifests physically. Just because it’s in her head doesn’t mean that it’s an excuse to walk all over her! We try, we have always tried, as hard as we can - it’s not easy being a parent, because it’s on you if your kid turns up to be a screw-up! For a while I didn’t think there could be anything worse than your child ending up in prison, but I was wrong. Nothing makes you feel worse than having your own child hate you and her mother for trying to raise her. Nothing. Do you try to do this, Natalie? Do you try to make your mother and I feel bad? Because it’s working. If you’d like to move in with Henry, then go. I’m not going to stop you. If you’re going to be have such a shit attitude, then move out. Go. But it’s not going to get better, Natalie, when you leave. It’s not going to get better until you change the way you think - treat people with respect, Natalie, no one’s got a personal vendetta to ruin your life. If you’d like to believe that everything’s about you then be my guest, but you’re going to have to come down to earth sometime, and it’s going to be a hard blow. I’m just trying to keep you from hurting, like I’ve been trying your whole fucking life. I’m your father, and I love you very much. It’s my job to protect you. But if you won’t have it then leave. See how far you get, Natalie, go on.” There were tears in his eyes, and he shook his head, not hiding them from her. “She’s not happy because she sees him. She’s hurting. He’s not real. She’s tired and I’m tired and that doesn’t mean we don’t love you.”

#((prolly in the middle of it))#danxgoodman #((also wowee i'm cry))

Natalie just shook her head. "I have spent every moment trying to perfect in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, you guys would be proud of me. You guys- you don't ever try and talk to me about things. The last time I tried to tell Mom about something amazing, she told me to go call him for dinner." She gulped hard. "I have always been the replacement kid, Dad. Second prize. He was Mom's perfect child. Is it wrong that I-I just want you two to be proud of me for once? Is it? Because if it is, then yeah. I'll call Henry right now and I'll leave."

+idonthaveabrother

"See, that’s just it! You’re confusing normal with happy! No one’s normal. We can be happy, though! Me, you, Di, and even him, I suppose. Give it a chance, Natalie,” he let out the breath he had been holding, shaking his head. “You’re making this even more difficult and unenjoyable than it already is. You could have some respect - and if that’s too much to ask, some sympathy, at least. If you think your attitude is helping your mother - ” He tracked her gaze to the picture, cutting off his sentence and falling silent. It was the only slice of happy they had evidence of, it seemed. He remembered how happy he had been bringing it home, showing it to Natalie, who had been uninterested, and then to Diana, who hadn’t seemed to appreciate the photoshopping. They still had a stack of prints of the photo in the attic; having no rooms left to hang it in and no one else to give it to. He suspected that Diana had tried to burn them more than once.

#((I AM EMOTIONAL))#danxgoodman

"We're never going to be happy either. You- you know this. Dad, you know that I love you. But we both know you're just deluding yourself into thinking you can have that happy perfect family." She ran her hands through her hair tiredly. "Neither of you- you don't give two shits about me. Mom only notices him, and you're always watching Mom. You wonder why I'm not around, Dad, why I'm always with Henry? Because he cares. He makes an effort to know me, who I am, what I want with my life. When was the last time me and Mom had a heart to heart, huh? Or you and me?" Natalie turned away, refusing to cry. She wouldn't, not in front of him. "Honestly, if Mom's happy because she sees him around, and not me, I'll just go. I'll take off."

my beautiful girl.

Hey, you.

Avoiding me much?

#courfelys

Natalie muse is back whoops

#ooc

georgetownlawyerabby

Hey loves. Abby, Ollie, and Natalie muses are all being extremely finicky- by finicky I mean I’m just not feeling them much right now. So if any of you need me, you can bother me on Skype (whathappenedinbudapest) or on my Sarah account.

I’ll try to get on tomorrow and see if I can get them to cooperate, alright? Love y’all.

#ooc

+idonthaveabrother

"Natalie," he sighed, crossing his arms. “Things haven’t been normal. I know we haven’t been home much, but your mother’s been in the hospital. I was hoping you would understand - are you okay?"

"We will never be normal, Dad! We're too screwed up to be normal! Just because she's there... You think it's going to change a fucking thing? It won't!" She shook her head and glanced away, eyes falling on the one photo in her room- the shitty photoshopped one of their family. It was fake- just like everything else.

#Danxgoodman

gabriel-ghost-boy

“You’re a dork." He laughed, shaking his head.

"So, you idiot, how are you? Swear ya went missing for a bit."

gabriel-ghost-boy

“Aww. My baby sister loves me."

"Course I do, idiot." She grinned at him.

+idonthaveabrother

Dan walked into the room, glancing around at the piles of papers and books. “Is everything.. alright? I know things have been a little hectic lately with your mother, but you matter too, Natalie. You’ve barely been downstairs, you’re up even later than before - I’m worried. Did something happen with you and Harry?"

"Of course everything's just fine," she drawled, the pills starting to hit her hard. "Oh, I matter? Really? Because it's soooo obvious." Natalie ran a hand through her hair, giving her father a withering smile.

#Danxgoodman

+idonthaveabrother

He hesitated for a moment outside Natalie’s room, not wanting to make the situation worse, but at the same time feeling like he needed to fill his roll as her father. “Natalie, are you busy?" He offered a silent thanks that the doors didn’t have locks; he’d never have seen her if they had. Dan turned the handle, poking his head through the door. “Can we talk?"

#Danxgoodman #((hi oh my gosh))

Natalie tossed the pills in her mouth, downing them with a long gulp of Red Bull. What a life she led, she thought bitterly. Once she had been the perfect daughter, doing everything to try and get some semblance of love- affection- acknowledgement from her parents. But she never did. At the knock she quickly brushed the pills into her drawer and jammed it shut- no need to hear her father's sad attempts at parenting. Natalie spun in her chair, staring at her father. "Sure, I guess."

gabriel-ghost-boy

"I’m always around. Why? Need somethin’?"

"I can't be lonely and miss my brother? I haven't seen you in a while."

"Brother dear? You around?"

+imissxmylife

imissxmylife

"Could you?" Diana said, completely ignoring the work that her daughter had to do. It’s not like she didn’t want to care, she did, but she couldn’t make herself care like she wanted to. Not like she cared for Gabe. “That’d be great. Can you do it mad? I don’t want your father to get…" She motioned in the air again with her hands. “You know. Your father."

"Yeah, fine." Natalie went to grab superglue before moving to the pot, gluing it and setting the pot aside. "Dad won't notice. He doesn't notice anything, you know."

+imissxmylife

Diana made a large noise with one of the pans, breaking its handle. “Whoops!" She yelled, forcing a smile. “Nothing your father can’t fix," she muttered, throwing the handle behind her. “Oh, don’t be silly Nat. He’s not— " she began to stand, heaving herself up. Both feet hit the ground- but not really; her feet hadn’t hit the ground in ages- as she cleared her throat. “Am I interrupting your study time? How silly of me. Have fun with your… —Uh, math?"