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@iheartjanette
Please do not
open your mouth about miscarriage if you don’t know anything about it.
It is not “just like a period”.
It is not something that “you can just try again”.
It is physical AND emotional pain.
It is a fluctuation in hormones.
It is waiting.
It is your body expelling something that should have a life and future.
It is possibly having to take medication to open your cervix so that your body will start the “natural process”.
It is seeing your future physically fall out of you, or a hospital room because your body couldn’t correctly do the job and now the doctor will do it for you.
It is bleeding for days/weeks on end.
It is depression.
It is worrying about infection.
It is trauma.
It is waiting to be allowed to be intimate with your partner again.
It is never wanting to to be intimate again.
It is blood draws and HCG level testing.
It is a follow up gynecological appointment, and physical exam from a stranger when you don’t want anyone near that fragile part of your body.
It is possibly another ultrasound… of your now empty belly.
It is possibly the need for surgery.
It is crying on the bathroom floor feeling like your body failed you.
It is months of waiting for your cycle to regulate so you can “just try again”.
It is never forgetting the excitement, the waiting in the ultrasound room, the horrible news, the images, the pain, the due date, and the fact that you SHOULD be a mother to that child but you will never be.
And no other pregnancy, no other baby, will ever replace the one that should have been but is not.
It is never being able to truly feel excited when you become pregnant again. Because this never leaves you, and this could happen again.
It is NOT just like a period.
To My Angel Who Couldn’t Stay..
My baby.. I’m sorry mommy’s love wasn’t enough for you to hold on. I’m so unlucky.. i can’t breathe. There is nothing in this world that can amount to how much I wanted you to stay. I dreamed of you all the time. Wondering who you would look like. Will you have curly hair like me? Or maybe you’ll look just like your beautiful big brother. My life was fulfilled again when i saw that positive pregnancy test. Tell me what i did wrong to make you leave. I guess i will never know. I wish you would have held on to me longer. I promise i would have given my whole life to protect you. I hope that wherever you are today, in the sky, you look over me, your dad and your brother. You will always live on and i will never forget the impact your little steps have made in my heart. I love you so much. I need you here. Please live on inside me forever. I can’t wait until we meet in heaven and i could touch your face and hug you tight. I will forever long for your heartbeat. Rest In Peace my baby. 🙏🏼💔
we♡it | more
i love being called baby more than my actual name
a hoodie and underwear is all you really need to wear tbh