Anonymous submitted: (anon if possible thank you. Also welcome back <3 Trigger warning there is some abuse mentioned. If him referring to me as My darling could be used that would be um really awesome. Thank you so much)
Hello! I was wondering if I could get some comfort from Obi-Wan in the Star Wars Prequels?
A couple of months ago, I finally had the courage to leave the house of my abuser, my mother, to go live with my dad. For so many years I lived in a house where I was pushed around and screamed at on a daily basis, and for the longest time I honestly thought I had deserved it. When I was 16 my mom smacked my head into a wall, and I never told anyone about it because she always guilted me into hiding how she treated me. I was getting sicker by the day, and was bedridden and in pain almost every day from chronic illness and she would make me feel like I was a waste of life and would make it all about her. She outright said that I didn't have the illness despite the doctors saying so. But I finally got the courage to leave and I'm on the road to recovery now in both my illnesses, and my ED.
It's still hard sometimes because I am still in contact with her and whenever I am it just seems she brings me down and makes me feel guilty about leaving and distancing myself. She even screamed at my dad "Did she tell you that I wanted to punch her in the face? Because I really did!! And her grandmother would roll in her grave if she knew how she treated me!". I had such a massive depressive episode after that, being triggered to back when she was screaming in my face all the time and telling me if my family members knew how I was like they would beat me up. She has manipulated me for years and years and my body still reacts to these things badly.
I know I've gotten better but it's hard. My dad used to not be the best dad and he's made a lot of mistakes with me but a couple years back he finally acknowledged them and started to try to be better, and during this year and last year he has been so supportive, and I'm glad to have my dad while going through this. But it's still hard and he tries to help best he can but I get so anxious and depressed sometimes still and my brain can't help but go to the thought that I am unworthy of being loved. I'm sorry this is long. Just a lot has happened these past months and this isn't even nearly close to a fraction of it.
I am so very proud of you.
You have done things that you had at one time believed was the impossible, and you have moved to put yourself in a better environment. Both mentally and physically by the sounds of things.
But I know that you understand that abuse and trauma is not something anyone expects you to simply get over in a day.
A great leap forward often requires taking two steps backwards.
And even if you do fall back farther than two steps, know that I will be near your side to help you regain your footing on your road to recovery.
Because I promise you my darling, you will not walk this road alone.
May the force be with you, Always.