Quote Fortress 2

Another addition to the many tf2 incorrect quotes blogs. Submission for quotes are open! Queue posts three times a day.

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Scout: I asked Engineer to make me a hot chocolate and he's literally sawing something in the kitchen rn

Sniper: Cutting down the cacao tree

Soldier: Making the mug by hand

Medic: Installing a new stove to make it on

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Spy: Look, I'm not going to-

Scout: Do it!

Spy (singing): I'm Spy and I was wrong. I'm singing the Spy wrong song. I shouldn't have taken that chance. So here's my remorseful dance.

Scout: Do the kick! Jazzier!!!

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Spy: Might fuck around and kin a motherfucker.

Engineer: Characters or real people?

Spy: You. Come here.

Spy 🔪 Engineer

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Ten Thousand Pyros: Come outside.

Spy: I don't want to.

Ten Thousand Pyros: Coward.

Ten Thousand Pyros: We are going to hurt you.

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Spy: There are only two sexes. The one I had with your mother, and the one I have with your father.

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Spy: Okay, let me get this straight-

Scout: More like let me run this “bi” you!

Engineer: Let’s “ace-sess” the situation.

Heavy: I’m gay.

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Scout: 7 million people in the earth, 0 messages in my inbox.

Engineer: ...7 million?

Sniper: In the Earth?

Soldier: FREE THEM.

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Medic: Whats it like dating Sniper?

Scout: The other day we got into a fight. Later I asked him for a cup of water and he handed me a glass filled with ice cubes and said “wait”.

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Scout: Hey Medic, can we all go to a haunted house this year?

Medic: Whats wrong with the one you live in?

Scout: WHAT.

Medic: Goodnight, Scout!

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Sniper: Can you preheat the apartment? I'm on my way home.

Scout: What are you, banana bread?

Sniper: Be very careful with what you say next.

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Spy: I poisoned one of our glasses.

Spy: But I forget which one.

Sniper: The way this dinner is going, I hope it's mine.

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Engineer: Hey Medic? Remember when we had that little talk about not experimenting on my food?

Medic: Like it was yesterday.

Engineer: It was this morning.

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Medic: Yesterday Scout got mad at me because I saw him eating kit-kats and said ‘oh, so you’re a little kit-kat boy, are you?’ and then i had a dream about him killing me.

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Medic: Are those birds honking outside?

Engineer: Crows! A large number of them over our house!

Medic: They’re here to take me.

Engineer: No!!!!

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Pyro: Dead leafs? That’s called yard salad now. and it’s the new food trend.

Spy: leaves*

Pyro: Where are you going

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Pyro: What mouse walks on two legs?

Engineer: Mickey.

Pyro: Okay, what duck walks on two legs?

Engineer: Donald.

Pyro: No, all of them.

Engineer: This is the last time you make a fool of me in my own house.

[incorrect-teamfortress2-quotes]

Medic: What happened to your fingers? They’re covered in bandaids.

Soldier: You know those chefs on tv who cut up their vegetables really really fast?

Soldier: I can’t do that.