fake frank: Oh, I need to tell you about my night last night.
frank: Oh, tell me all about it.
fake frank: So I'm hanging out in my apartment. I've got some candles lit. I'm feeling good. I've had eight glasses of wine.
fake frank: And down in the street, I hear these two beautiful boys playing. They're skateboarding. They're doing flips or something.
fake frank: And one of them looks up and me and has the most beautiful face I've ever seen.
fake frank: And you know I like a little Asian. You remember my date with Kōhe?
fake frank: The point is, I say, "Woo hoo, boys." And they sort of look. The one who isn't Asian is Black.
frank: Y-You don't- This could be a colorblind story.
fake frank: I wanna fill it with color.
frank: Yeah, but I'm just saying, it's like- There's a race problem in Hollywood right now.
fake frank: And in America. A racism problem.
fake frank: Well, this story isn't racist. It's diverse. If everyone in it was white, then it would be racist, Filthy Francis.
frank: You know what? You're right. Go ahead.
fake frank: So the boys come up to my apartment, and I'm wearing a robe.
fake frank: I'm only wearing a robe.
fake frank: And I say, "Why don't you come in my boudoir and watch me do a monologue?" And they say, "Where's the bed?" And I say, "This is the bed right here." And they say, "Can we sit on the bed?" And I say, "Sure, but these are expensive Japanese linen." And they say, "But they're not even soft." And I say,
fake frank: "Sometimes... things that are expensive... are worse."
