Interior Snob

[interiorsnob]

"How many times I gotta tell you, bro? It's fucking art, okay? You don't have game unless you got a chair specifically in place to watch grass grow. Besides, these oak floors were MADE to reflect light on this lily/zebragrass arrangement."

[interiorsnob]

"Oh, you need to use the washroom? It's right through here. Boom! Hear that echo? Yeah well, I'm a frightened pooper so that's why I made this place like a wide open field for when I shit."

[caramichele]

[interiorsnob]

"Check him out. He'll stay like that all day. I installed the litter box in a hidden compartment on the bed so he never has to leave it. He really makes the bed looking fucking ace, right? At first he was pretty pissed, but I totally broke him down when I loaded the mattress with catnip, now he can't get enough, just trips all day long making my bed look tits. Huh? Oh, no, no, I just sleep on the couch. He's territorial as fuck."

[cabinporn]

[interiorsnob]

"Welcome to the cabin, bro! Make yourself at home and hop in a director's chair! Yeah, I come up here a lot and mostly just paste together model toy ships to pass the time. Of course this is only one giant room, the fuck you think a cabin is. This shit was salvaged from a barn. Beds? Fuck beds, that would throw off the whole ambiance."

[freshome]

[interiorsnob]

"Well I set it up like a bar because my piano skills are on fucking point. I been at it for like two solid weeks. Paid the movers an extra grand just to haul it up here with a crane through the window. Totally worth it because now I can invite the social club over to listen to my mad rendition of 'Chopsticks'."

Comfortable And Warm Penthouse In Toronto By Ceccone Simoni Inc

[creatingaquietmind-deactivated2]

[interiorsnob]

"Bro, you would not believe some of the shit that goes down on this. Huh? Oh, no, I've actually never brought a chick back to break this thing in. Nah, all my dudes come over to check my place out when I'm gone and bring their girls with them. Oh, you're calling Jessica over? Cool man. Oh yeah I'll just crash on the couch and watch Downton Abbey, that shit is amazing."

[atimeforacoffee]

[interiorsnob]

"Flat screen? The fuck you talking about, son? We already got this shit roaring and all you're thinking about is who got voted off American Idol? Jesus, that shit has been played out since Clay Aiken won. DON'T even think about putting your fucking wine glass on that table..."

[homedesigning]

[interiorsnob]

"Look bro, if everyone else can't see inside your house, what's the point? I dropped stacks on this custom rocking chair so that I could sit and watch everyone stare and gawk at all my earthly possessions."

[subtilitas]

[interiorsnob]

"Yo, check out that reading corner. Yeah I devoted the whole floor to this corner in front of the skylight. I snagged this chair from a dwarf at a flee market for only 2 stacks. Oh. I mean yeah it's a little uncomfortable, but I only like reading like 3 pages at a time so when I do start noticing the stabbing pain in my back I'm already downstairs watching Barefoot Contessa cook up some bomb ass dishes on the flat screen."

[theblackworkshop]

[interiorsnob]

"So I'm really trying to pursue this whole 'Freelance Psychiatrist' bit. I mean, my life is fucking tits, so I figure I might as well give other people advice."

[room-temperature]

[interiorsnob]

"How do I reach them? Fuck that man, those were all there when I bought the place. Who owns a ladder that high? Besides, shit looks incredible."

[exchangesmoke]

[interiorsnob]

"Look, I don't know what to tell you bro. If you ain't high class enough to have an escape hatch out of your home studio, you ain't on my level. No, I don't have a computer on my desk, shit is too cluttered, I sit here and stare at the pear in my ancient Chinese rice bowl and pretend to read Don Quixote because I'm fucking classy."

[breakfastattegans]

[interiorsnob]

"Come step into my library and have a seat. No, no, I get the one with the armrests. What? Oh, no that's just a picture. It's just an illusion of a bookshelf."

[nights-in]

[interiorsnob]

“A darkroom? The fuck is that? Honestly I bought the camera because it said ‘Rolleiflex’ and I knew that shit was top notch. The white space? Please, if you’re gonna have white walls throughout the house you better accent that shit with some old school reclaimed wood and a juxtaposed 3x3” B&W picture inside an 8x10” frame. That’s just basics, bitch.”

[belleatelier]

[interiorsnob]

"Look. If you don't check yourself out in every possible kind of mirror, how the fuck are you supposed to go out of the house? I made this room so I could sit on the dead zebra I shot down while on safari and marvel at how fucking fly I look before I head outside to deal with all the peasants."

[observando]

[interiorsnob]

“Why is my bed displayed in the middle of my 1910’s reclaimed steel plant loft under stage lights and a backdrop? What kind of question is that? Obviously you have no taste for interior design and will always be trying to live up to my sick game. See these books on my bedside chair/nightstand? That’s real style man. I’m too fucking cool for typical ‘nightstands’, plus where else would I sit when I want to marvel at how immaculately disheveled my bed linens are before I leave for work in the morning? Call me once you throw out all your clothes except for one plain white oxford that you dry-clean on the daily and display prominently two feet away from your bed because you don’t even remember what a closet is. Please.”