I honestly wish I had chosen better friends. I like to tell myself I have “best friends” but not really. They rarely contact me, we rarely hang out. Sometimes they only text when they need something from me. Or if they do text first hrs very rarely and barely a conversation. Anyone else that I might consider a friend doesn’t contact me either, or other things that have happened in our friendship make me not really want to contact them.
Like how are you supposed to make friends as an adult? I have made friends through jobs, but they don’t last long or aren’t a true friendship.
Are the friendships I see on tv super fake and no one actually has a friend that texts calls and wants to spend time with them on a regular basis? Like I don’t get it.
I definitely don’t really contact anyone frequently anymore, because when it’s me doing it first all the time it gets kind of old. So if they can’t take the time to text me then why am I trying.
I honestly think sometimes someone recently spent time with me kind of like in pity. They might have not even felt that way or thought it, but I bet they didn’t actually really want to come but did anyway to make me feel good.
This is so dumb but it’s hard not having people to go to when you need to rant or have something difficult going on, or when my anxiety is really high. It’s hard doing that when I’m the one always reaching out to them, why am I also not their go to person when they are having a hard time? I don’t get it.
















