I, the Prison Door

A sad-colored utopia of human virtue...

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

I wake up every morning, wishing I hadn’t. Wishing I’d passed peacefully in my sleep so no one would blame themselves.

[tackled]

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

I think I love you...I don’t want to say it. I don’t want to scare you away...I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to realize you feel the same.

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

Why do I push people away

Time after time

Relationship after relationship

I ruin it and leave my own heart in the dust

And I’ve learned, that someone will only take you back so many times

So why do I continue on in this way

I am the boy that loves and loves until he has nothing to give

The boy that falls so deeply in love he scares himself

So I leave

I leave, I run, I abandon ship

I’ve broken so many hearts without meaning to

And it’s beginning to destroy me...

     ~introvertedplaguedoctor

[erupted]

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

A lot of me was lost in you, and now that you're gone I feel like most of myself is missing as well. I have him now, I don't need you, so why do I feel so empty in the places that your words aren't? This silence is deafening...

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

I want him

I want him, and only him for the rest of our natural born lives, and for all of eternity after that.

[melisica]

(by Heather Louise)

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

I. Broke. You... I broke you and I know it. I don't deserve another chance, and you deserve better than me. You deserve someone who will never hurt you, you deserve her... But I still want you with everything within me, and I'm full to the brim of false hope, hope of a future with you that is not going to happen. I wish you luck at your show tonight, and luck with her. You deserve only success in all of your endeavors. I deserve only filth. I deserve to burn in hell for what I did to you. If I could repent and reverse my mistakes I'd do it without hesitation, but I can't take away the pain I've given you. I can only try my very hardest to make it right, and hope you still care enough to be my friend. Tell me what I must do to fix this. I'm sorry...I know that can't even begin to bandage the hurt but that's all I can give right now. I'm so, so sorry. I hope you live a long and prosperous life. I hope your band gets big and famous. I hope you get married someday, and I hope she loves you as much as you loved me....

~introvertedplaguedoctor

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

I wanna die :)

[praying]

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

I want this. I want to live with you, and smoke weed then makeout. All I wanted was you, and I ruined it. I'm so, so sorry...

~introvertedplaguedoctor

[deceptivelips]

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

Your eyes. God, I could go on for centuries about your eyes. I love blue eyes, yet yours are brown and so full of emotion. I've never loved a boy with brown eyes before. Maybe that's a sign..maybe this is something magical just beginning to manifest. Neither of our hearts are in our chests, so maybe we can rediscover them and give them to each other as gifts... ~introvertedplaguedoctor

[natureandbeauty]

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

I want a musician. Someone who feels the lyrics the way I do. I want someone who’s not afraid to cry in front of me, because crying isn’t inherently weak. I want someone who yearns to understand the universe as I do. I want a musician, or an artist, or a poet, or any other manner of person who has delved into the world of fine art like I have. I want someone who feels pain, and beauty, and unfathomable restlessness like me. I just haven’t found them yet.

        ~introvertedplaguedoctor

[natureandbeauty]

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

Take me places. I want to see the world with you. I want to make love in every beautiful place and show the earth that we own it. I want to kiss you- by the ocean, in museum gardens, in the forest; moss soft under our feet. Take me places, and we’ll make the globe our home.

~introvertedplaguedoctor

[natureandbeauty]

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

You are my dream. The lingering whisper of your touch on my skin feels as though I am just beginning to wake. Wake me up, and teach me how to lucid dream. ~introvertedplaguedoctor

[abdu117-deactivated20170830]

Cause I’d rather fight with you than laugh with another

(via quotes117)

[recked]

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

I hurt you. Bad. And I’m so, so sorry for that. What I can never tell you though, is that I still have feelings for you. I’m just so scared to act on them for fear of hurting you. Maybe if I get a second chance I can prove myself worthy of your love… The question is, are you willing to give me one? ~introvertedplaguedoctor

[blueskidooo-deactivated20190104]

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

And it was like, when he touched me, I was whole again. How could I have known it was only a façade? ~introvertedplaguedoctor

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

Vida Longa a Revolução

I once met a boy with wildfire eyes

And somehow I knew it was more than disguise

He told me he liked my battlefield smile

And asked if I wanted to talk for a while

He gave me talk of revolution

Stuff I’d never heard

But yet, it wasn’t convolution

He gave me his word

He taught me of things I never could fathom

Of individuality within my own atoms

He told me to break society’s cast

And I would have true freedom at last

His wisdom now would guide my path

Bold, and strong, and true

He taught me how to channel my wrath

Into something new

He gave me reason to defy my name

Showed me that life is far more than a game

He helped me transcend my furthest belief

And most of all, I’ve found relief

This revolution is one of a different kind

Not politics, a revolution of the mind

And with his help, maybe I’ll find

A relationship beautifully twined.

                ~introvertedplaguedoctor

[melisica]

[introvertedplaguedoctor]

I crave your touch on my skin. Tattoo me with your words, leave your mark on my soul…

                            ~introvertedplaguedoctor