Is it possible for you to analyze why my two sons can't cheer each other up when they cry? (Your blog is awesome!)
(Hehe - I’m going to assume your “two sons” are Victor and Yuuri.)
THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION. Why can’t Victor and Yuuri seem to comfort each other when they’re upset and crying?
With Yuuri, I think it’s a bit more straightforward.
He is a very private person. He’s not the type that cries in front of others, and he knows how vulnerable that can make someone feel. In Episode 1, we see him crying alone in a bathroom. In Episode 7, the only reason he lost it in front of Victor was because he was caught off guard by what was said. He was probably very embarrassed afterward.
And I also think Victor crying was completely unexpected. Yuuri did not expect this reaction from Victor. It shocked him, and he probably didn’t know what to do.
But notice that Yuuri very gently (and slowly!) reaches out. That is a huge gesture from someone who does not like his own emotions intruded upon. (Remember, this guy shoved a girl away just for hugging him while he was upset.) Yuuri is not crowding Victor’s space in that screencap above, but he is offering comfort. He backs off once Victor bats his hand away.
Yuuri is trying to respect that Victor might not want to be touched at that moment, but he does offer that tenderness if it’s wanted.
With Victor, we actually do see him start to reach out to physically comfort Yuuri. You can see it in Victor’s face and body language. “Oh shit, oh shit, I didn’t mean to break the thing, what do I do???”
But understand that not only was it Victor’s fault that Yuuri is crying, but Yuuri is also yelling at him. Like. The guy really lets Victor have it. Yuuri has never raised his voice like that before nor just burst into tears. Victor was surprised and also the guilty party, and that can make the “what do I do??” panic worse.
And add to that that Yuuri also told Victor he shoved a girl away who tried to hug him while he was upset. Victor might have been worried Yuuri was going to shove him away, too. (And he might have been right. Yuuri certainly didn’t want to be kissed.)
But then Victor admits he isn’t good with anyone crying in front of him, so there’s another layer here, too. Victor is someone who doesn’t let people see his problems. He puts on a happy face, but his entire story is actually quite sad. (I go into this in depth in this meta.) The guy doesn’t wear his emotions on his sleeve or expect other people to comfort him. He might literally have not understood how to address another person’s need for comfort because he’s never gotten (or asked for) it himself.
Basically, they’re both just surprised, wary of intruding on the other person’s feelings, and a bit emotionally stunted themselves.
The fact that these two are crying in front of each other at all is very telling of how much they’ve grown to love and trust their partner. It’s rare for them both to get to that place, and they allowed the other person to see it.
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