Archive of My Regrets @iwasjustinpain - Tumblr Blog

How do I say "I hope the guilt eats at you." in a way that isn't overwhelmingly harsh? Because I don't mean to be; In fact, I say it in my mind in the most pleasant tone. In this scenario, I am sitting across from you at a café and we are sharing a cup of coffee. I am finally happy and content. I hope the guilt eats at you: your guilt for what you did to me. I hope it rots and festers in the walls of your room when you're alone. I hope it grabs you by the ankles when you get up in the middle of the night. I hope it rattles you in your sleep.

"I've dug two graves for us, my dear."

-Revenge, XXXTENTACION

There's a repeated line in my rants and poetry and diary entries that I've come to find: and there is nothing to be said. Because there isn't. What could I say? What could I say that would change anything at all?

So mom, what can I say, against your perfect premonitions? There is nothing to be said. There is resentment. There is rage. There is deep-seated sadness. But there is nothing to be said.

#i thought you were different #love #heartbreak #heartache #loss #hurt #pain #empty #lonely #unlovable #feelings #sad #depression #thoughts #words #text #letters #writing #spilled ink #poem #poetry #aesthetic

"They still haunt you long after they're gone. Buried in the basement, cold cement."

-The Dead Come Talking, Roe Kapara

"So you get what I mean when I say what can I say? Put yourself in my shoes."

"I am trying."

"I know,"

"..."

"Nothing will change, will it? There's nothing I can say or do that will change this situation right now to give me the answer I want and I can't grow that out of you. So I'll be right here."

"He's so beautiful, makes me wanna believe he's got a heart of gold that nobody can see."

-Too Close, Sir Chloe

"Yeah I don't know, ( ). I don't really have much words for you most days. I'm out of words."

"I think being a little jealous seems natural."

"No, it's not really little and it's a lot more ugly than just jealousy, probably."

"I could have just as easily not said anything about it and you would be none the wiser, because it doesn't change anything about the way I act."

"I wish it would."

"I bet you figured I'd pass with the winter; be somethin' easy to forget. Oh, you think I'm gone 'cause I left."

-Can't Catch Me Now, Olivia Rodrigo

"I just don't want to put you through anything again, so I'm just trying to check in."

"I don't know, I could pour my entire heart out on the floor right now, but where would that really leave me or you?"

"Well, that's kind of an answer in and of itself."

"Think you can fix me, are you joking?"

-123, Claire Rosinkraz

"What's an appropriately nonchalant response, the tone of which can be read over text? Anything other than like a short OK."

"I guess saying that works. Is that how you feel though?"

"What can I say?"

"..."

"I'm not trying to upset you and I'm not exactly upset per se. I don't know, really, how I feel about it. I thought I was angry because I thought you lied but you didn't and really, who am I to be angry anyways? I have no grounds to be angry at you."

"You're the worst person on Earth. Forgiving you is pointless."

-Poison Poison, Reneé Rapp

I find myself light, far too light. I long for someone, something to tether me, knowing it will sink me... I will drown. But I am the lightest thing in my world, where I would be whisked away by the wind if I let myself. And I find myself wanting to.

"Do you remember happy together? I do, don't you?"

-I miss you, I'm sorry, Gracie Abrams

"( ), are you happy?"

"Are you happy?"

"..."

"I could always be happier, but who isn't right? I guess I am happy."

"'Cause you know the good die young, but so did this. And so it must be better than I think it is."

-Hopeless, Halsey & Cashmere Cat

"Do you still get nightmares? I thought they stopped. Does anything help?"

"You used to."

"I mean, but that's not good, right? You can't rely on someone to calm you down forever."

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Archive of My Regrets