" I'm sorry Savannah" He didn't really know what to say. "I just can't keep up with you" he didn't mean to come off rude, he just wasn't that guy who could just stay in a good mood for long. " its just I've never been happy, I just never been at my happiest" she wanted to know about him, so he was going to share, he needed the talk. " don't get me wrong, I love my job and what I do,but its sometimes not enough" he sighed. " I just want someone I can be happy with, someone I can love, but I know I can't have that. I hurt everyone I care about, everyone I get close to" his hands went to his face as he took a deep breath. " I lost control of the car" Talking about himself meant bringing out his burdens, it was the reason for who is today. " I was 16 and I never been behind the wheel." He wasn't sure where this was coming from but he held it in for so long, and needed to get it out. " I didn't expect my dad to be in the back seat dying, and for my mom to just stop caring." He sat back on the couch and tried to hold back tears. " I thought I would never hear my dad's voice again, and I did just in time, right before it happened" Jaxton  closed his eyes. " I walked out of the hospital the next day fine, I was only left with two scars, the one on my side and the one on my heart of killing my parents" his hand touching the hem of shirt where the mark was. " I killed him, I killed my parents" he repeated. "I ran after that, I was homeless for a year. I use to go to shelters to sleep and for food. I got into fights with random people because I was so mad at myself. I found this guitar on the strets that someone through out. It was that moment when I realized that I need to fix things. " he signed once more. " I heard my dad's voice, he spoke to me, he was concern and disappointed, I could tell by his tone... He told me to take that guitar and make something out of it, and that's what I did, he was into music he played for years, and I had to make him proud." Jackson smiled slightly has he remember that moment.  " I moved it with my grandma after that, she helped me out for a while, until I got on track. I was in aband doing small tours around country, and that's when I met Sady" he gave another small smile, as he fought back more. " She was beautiful, hard to forget her. We fell in love on the road, I guess you could call what we had movie love... Everything was perfect. If it wasn't for her, I would have never got into singing, she asked me to write her a song, and she loved it, I was just a guitar player, a few days after I found out about her addiction, she was out cold on the tour bus. I just wanted to help" he could feel the water building in his eyes. " I shook her to get her to wake up, but she didn't, I yelled, I screamed, I freaked out." It was hurting him talking about it,but he needed to let it out. " I called 911 and then shook her again..." He wiped his face as he covered it. " SADY, PLEASE!!! PLEASE WAKE UP, DON'T DO THIS TO ME WAKE UP PLEASE." It was like he was reliving the moment. " I cried her to wake, it was too late when the ambulance came, she was already gone, and it was my fault it was my fault from shaking her, that's what they told me. " he shut his eyes shut, has his voice cracked and tears rolled down his face. " I didn't want her to go, I loved her, I just wanted to help" he took his hand a d wiped his face. " I gave up after that, I didn't want to play anymore. It was hard doing it for you it hurt me, I've haven't sung since sady, and it broke me, I don't think I'll ever be able to do it again. I can't even play, which is why I teach" He had gotten out what he held in for years. " I've been depressed every since, which is shy I can't keep up with you. I hope that's enough about me"
