Chapter 26 (Unsaid Feelings)
After TI, Aaliyah and Tiny left, me the girls and Shawn watched a few movies before going to sleep. The next morning I woke up in Shawn's arms.
(Shawn) Good morning
(Beyonce) Good morning, so what do you have up for the day?
(Shawn) I'm going back to work. I haven't been up to Roc Nation since before I went to jail.
(Beyonce) Oh
(Shawn) Why what's up
(Beyonce) Well I was thiiinking what if we started planning our wedding
(Shawn) Well its up to you. I've been ready to marry you
(Beyonce) Well I don't want anything big since I've already been married. Just something small and elegant
(Shawn) Well I'm ok with anything, in fact I'll leave all the wedding planning up to you
(Beyonce) I don't think so, I have a movie to film, I have the OMG Girlz to deal with and not to mention my second album and Tavia. Oo no I don't think so you're helping me with this wedding
(Shawn) I have a lot of work to do and I'm behind in everything
(Beyonce) Well hire an assistant you can afford it
(Shawn) *laughs* Alright. I have an assistant that I use to work with a while back but she had to quit for something, I don't know but I'll give her a call
(Beyonce) Her?
(Shawn) Are you jealous
(Beyonce) No I'm just saying
(Shawn) Well good don't be Angelique or Angie for short is cool and I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping you around here along with helping me at work.
(Beyonce) Ok
(Shawn) Ok imma go shower and stuff and then give her a call.
"Ok" I said removing myself from Shawn's arms. Shawn went into the bathroom and I just laid in the bed. I was excited about the wedding but I couldn't help but feel a little ambivalent. Like I love Shawn with all my heart and I would love to be his wife but am I ready for all this again, are we rushing into things. Well I did propose so I must be ready. I erased the thoughts from my head and went into the bathroom with Shawn. He was showering and I so I started brushing my teeth.
(Shawn) Make sure you brush your teeth good because your breath was straight kicking
(Beyonce) Excuse me
(Shawn) You heard me dragon breath
(Beyonce) You know what you always have something smart to say
(Shawn) *laughs* its not smart if its honest
(Beyonce) You know what kiss my ass
(Shawn) Gladly ^__^
I shook my head and finished brushing my teeth then I went to go check on Tavia and Jessica. Tavia was already awake so I told her to go brush her teeth. Then I had to almost literally drag Jessica out the bed. Even though it was Saturday and 9:30am Jessica had to get up. We have a really busy day ahead of us. After Jessica was up I went to get Tavia dressed and by the time I was done Shawn was dressed and looking and smelling good. He had on something simple but for some reason he looked extra sexy. Anyway I showered and dressed in a simple pair of pants and T-shirt and my signature heels. Only because I was filming today. After everyone was dressed we was about to head out the house but realized we don't have anyone to look after Jessica and Tavia.
(Beyonce) I called my mom but she said she is gonna be working on her clothes all day
(Shawn) My mama just said no. You can't ask your sister?
(Beyonce) Jules have a doctors appointment then after that Solo and Jules are going over Daniel house.
(Shawn) We really have to get a nanny. But I can take Jessica with me to work so she can work on her music. But I can't keep Tavia I'll be to busy and I can't watch her.
(Beyonce) Its fine I understand I'm sure Kelly wouldn't mind keeping her
(Shawn) Alright I'll see you later. *kissing Bey*
(Beyonce) Alright
Within in seconds Shawn and Jessica was gone. I called Kelly and of course she said she would keep Tavia. So after I dropped Tavia off I went straight to the movie set. We filmed for about 6 hours and I was so tired by the time we were finish. It was around 4pm and I still wasn't finished, I met with 6 wedding planners until I found the right person then I met with Brad. He told me he wanted to see me, Aaliyah and Tiny at 6pm but I was so busy meeting with wedding planners I lost track of time and didn't get there until almost 6:50. When I got there I received news that Columbia Records didn't want to sign the girls because they are to young and because they have 3 managers plus TI and Shawn looking in from the outside. They said it was to much to handle and try again in a few years when we have less managers. Tiny and Aaliyah was pissed and I was too but not because of the reasons they were. I was pissed because I rushed down here for nothing, he could of told me that over the phone. On the other hand I understood where the record label was coming from 5 managers is a lot. Anyway after that meeting I headed over to Roc Nation to break the news to Shawn and when I went there I was greeted by this tall light skinned lady. She was skinny with curly hair and she was cute but.. Well nevermind let me not hate, she is cute.
(Angie) Hi may I help you
(Beyonce) I'm looking for Shawn
(Angie) O do you have an appointment, let me check what is your name?
Now I see she wana be funny this bitch know exactly who I am and I was just about to go off until some random person came up to me and asked for my autograph. I signed the autograph and focused my attention back on this lady.As soon as I was about to talk she opened her mouth to speak
(Angie) Omg I'm so sorry Beyonce I didn't know that was you, I'm a really big fan
I wanted to say "Bitch shut the fuck up talking to me because you know exactly who I am" but instead being the nice person I am I said
(Beyonce) Its fine
(Angie) No its not, I'm really sorry its just you look different in person, you look a lot older
(Beyonce) You know wh-
(Shawn) Beyonce! What are you doing here *walking outside his office*
(Beyonce) I was about to cuss out your secretary
(Shawn) Why what happen
(Beyonce) She's rude
(Shawn) I'm sorry Bey. Angie what did I tell you about your attitude.
(Angie) I'm sorry I really didn't recognize her. Look Beyonce I am truly sorry.
(Beyonce) Mmhm. Shawn can we talk really fast because I have to go get Tavia
(Shawn) Sure come on
I followed Shawn into his office and told him about the the girls deal falling through, then I told him about the wedding planners. He told me not to worry about the girls and then he started telling me about Angie. After our conversation I went downstairs to get Jessica out the studio, she was working with Kanye. After I got her I went to pick up Jessica and some food and went home.
After Bey left I got back to work and it was a lot. I had bills stacked to the ceiling that I had to file and pay. I had demo tapes that I just put in the trash because I don't like to listen to them. Now I'm not being mean or selfish its just I don't want my music sounding like theirs and them accusing me of stealing their music. I really don't need a lawsuit. I also had a budget to figure out then while Jess and Kanye was working on Jess's music the sound board went out so I have to replace it. It was a lot so I called Angie in my office so she can file and pay these bills while I work on the budget.
(Angie) So what made you call me
(Shawn) I called because I need help, I have a lot going on as you can see
(Angie) And here I am thinking it was because you missed me
(Shawn) Look Angie we are gonna keep our relationship strictly business.
(Angie) I know, we don't want to repeat history
(Shawn) Lets just end this conversation and get back to work
(Angie) Ok fine but you can't run from the past
(Shawn) Look are we gonna be able to work together or not
(Angie) Of course we are
(Shawn) No you not hearing me if you want to keep working for me you will not bring up the past and its for your own good. If Bey ever finds out she will tell me to fire you and I will. My fiancé and my kids come first now.
(Angie) Hmmp
(Shawn) What's that suppose to mean
(Angie) Don't act like you forgot
(Shawn) I was 17 and you were 15. We wasn't ready for a kid
(Angie) So you don't think about him
(Shawn) I think about him everyday but I also think about how happy he is with his new family
(Angie) You don't know if he's happy
(Shawn) I don't want to talk about this just get to work.
(Angie) Fine. Just two more questions please
(Shawn) What
(Angie) What did you tell your fiancé when she asked how we met? I know she asked
(Shawn) I told her you worked for me a long time ago and quit. Next question
(Angie) Do you still have feelings for me. I know what we had was a long time ago but our relationship was everything until I got pregnant and then after we gave or baby away we just drifted apart. I'm still in love with you Shawn or Jay or what ever you go buy now
(Shawn) Angie what we had was a long time ago and I moved on
(Angie) I know it was a long time ago but you know what they say, you never forget your first. I was first girlfriend, your first love, your first kiss, Your first baby mama, which reminds me that you lost your virginity to me and I lost mine to you . I was your first everything.
(Shawn) I know that but that was a long time ago
(Angie) It may have been but feelings like that never die you know what they say you can never get over your first love
(Shawn) *standing up* I need to go dispose of these tapes but like I said what we had was a long time ago. Im getting married I have 2 kids and I'm not trying to mess that up. So if you can't keep or relationship strictly professional maybe we can't work together When I said that Angie stood up in front of me and put her hand on my face and caressed my chin with her thumb and said "I can keep it professional but I still have feelings for you and I know you have feelings for me you're just hiding them but its okay if its meant to be it'll work out". Yes thats what she said right before kissing me on my cheek. It was only a peck so why did I feel like I just committed a crime. Angie walked passed me and out into the hall and I followed her except I went the other way heading out toward the trash. When I came back in Angie was back in my office filing the bills. I went in and sat at my desk and continued to work out the budget. We both continued to work in my office but we didn't say anything to each other. It wasn't an awkward silence but it was silent until Angie broke the silence.
(Angie) Its late and I just finished my work so can I leave or do you still need me
(Shawn) Its almost 2am you got off at 11, you could of been left
(Angie) I know but I wanted to finish my work first.
(Shawn) Well I really appreciate it thanks
(Angie) We'll I'll see you in the morning right?
(Shawn) Yea but at the house, I need you to rehearse with the OMG Girlz while Bey and I meet with the wedding planner
Angie was almost out the door but she stopped and told me congratulations and goodnight. Now being the nice guy that I am I volunteered to walk her to her car but she said she didn't have a car and that she was gonna wait for a taxi at the front door. Now by time the taxi would of got here it would of been after 2 and to late for her to be traveling alone.
(Shawn) Well I need about 20 more minutes to complete this budget so if you want to wait I'll take you home.
(Angie) Sure I'll wait. Thanks
All while I was working on the budget Angie was quiet and listening to her music. After I finished the budget Angie and I both walked to my car and the ride to her house was silent until I broke it.
(Shawn) What were you listening too
(Shawn) In my office. You were really into your music
(Angie) I was listening to Mariah Carey
(Shawn) I should of known you were obsessed with her when we were together
(Angie) I know I love her and she really got me through our break up and well
(Angie) I bet you don't remember my favorite song
(Shawn) Always Be My Baby
(Angie) Yep how do you remember that
(Shawn) How could I not remember that. You use to play it all the time
(Angie) Look I'm sorry about earlier I know I was out of line and I'm ok with being friends and keeping or relationship strictly professional. It will never happen again. I promise
"Ok" I said pulling up in front of her her condo. I watched her go in her house and pulled off. I stopped at Mcdonalds and went straight home.
I love Shawn and I know he love me too. I'm 100% sure he will not marry that bitch but if he do it won't last. I know its gonna take time but soon I'll be Mrs. Angelique Shawn Corey Carter and then I'll tell him the truth about out son. Shawn think I put him up for adoption but the the truth is I've had Shawn Corey Jr. all this time. He's grown now but its never to late for him to meet his father just when the time is right.
I ate my food in the car and when I got home it was almost 3 so everybody was sleep. I crawled into bed carefully so I wouldn't wake Bey up.
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Its been a few weeks since that night and I still haven't told Bey everything that happened that night. I just told her I was working on the budget all night, I told her the numbers wasn't adding up so I kept having to start over. Anyway everything have been going pretty good except with the girls everybody keep saying they are too young. So we decided to put the group on hold until after the wedding. Angie kept her promise and is keeping our relationship professional but Bey still don't like her. Last the wedding plans are coming alone we are actually choosing a cake today and the wedding is in 3 days.
We've been in this place for at least a hour trying decide on a cake and they all looked so ppretty so it was hard to decided. We decided to let Jessica and Tavia both pick their favorite cake and then Shawn and I would pick out which one we liked the best.
(Jessica) I think y'all should pick mine because it look 100 times better then Tavia's
(Beyonce) Well to be honest I like both
(Shawn) Me too I can't decided
(Angie) Well I like the one Tavia pick
(Beyonce) I'm not trying to be rude or anything but like this is a family thing so
(Angie) Its fine I understand. I'll take the girls next door for fro-yo while y'all pick out a cake
(Shawn) Bey I know you don't like her but do you have to be so rude
(Beyonce) I'm sorry but no one asked her
(Shawn) She was trying to help. Why don't you like her
(Beyonce) Because I don't trust her
(Beyonce) So what cake do you want
(Shawn) Lets just get both
(Beyonce) That would be to much cake
(Shawn) Well we can't choose between Jess and Tavia because Tavia will cry and Jess will say the only reason y'all picked her is because she's younger
(Beyonce) Ok fine lets do both
(Beyonce) We still have to pick a flavor
(Shawn) Ok well that shouldn't take long its only 3 flavors chocolate, vanilla and red velvet. We can just tell them to done red velvet and the other one chocolate and vanilla.
(Beyonce) Actually its 42 flavors
(Shawn) O_o 42 flavors of cake
(Beyonce) Yea and we have to taste all of them thats why its called cake tasting
(Shawn) I'm not about to sit here and taste 42 flavors of cake. Why can't we just stick to the normal stuff.
(Beyonce) Because its boring now please stay and help
(Beyonce) Please *kissing Shawn* pretty please
Me, Shawn, the girls, and Angie tasted cake for about a hour and a half before we decided on chocolate, vanilla, red velvet, and strawberry. Shawn was a mad a little but O well he'll get over it.
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I've been feeling nervous all day and I'm starting to have second thoughts. Not because I'm second guessing our relationship but because nothing has been going right today. Our wedding singer caught a really bad cold so she can't sing, the flowers are wrong, and the wedding cake is still not here. I'm not superstitious but something telling me not to do this. I was explaining everything to my mom and she told Shawn -___-
(Shawn) Bey I'm coming in we need to talk
(Beyonce) NO! its bad luck to see the bride before the wedding
(Shawn) Well turn around because I'm coming in we can stand back to back
Shawn came in backwards so he couldn't see me and I turned around so I couldn't see him and once we were back to back he started talking.
(Shawn) So I hear you're having cold feet
(Beyonce) Its just so much has been going wrong I'm starting to think its a sign saying we shouldn't get married.
(Shawn) Forget about signs and other stuff the only thing that matter at this point is love. Beyonce I know this is meant to be because I believe that love concurs all.
(Beyonce) But what about everything that went wrong
(Shawn) Everything is fixed. Whitney heard Solo talking about the wedding singer so she said she would sing. The cake is here and the flowers are still beautiful
(Beyonce) Whitney Houston?
(Shawn) Thats the only Whitney I know
(Beyonce) Omg I love her so much I need to tell her thank you
(Shawn) You can after the wedding. Beyonce I love you and this is meant to be. Forget about all this bad luck crap. You know, what this is stupid turn around so I can see your face.
I turned Bey around so I could see her face and she looked beautiful in her wedding dress and suddenly I forgot what I was about to say. The only words that left mouth was "I love you" then I kissed her. We kissed for about 2 minutes before Ty, Solo and Ms. Tina cutted in.
(Ty) O hell no I just did her makeup
(Tina) It is not time to kiss the bride yet
(Solange) And its bad luck to see the bride before the wedding now get out SHAWN!
(Tina) I told you to talk through the door not come in
(Shawn) I'm sorry, I'll leave and Bey?
(Shawn) I'll meet you at the alter right?
(Ty) Well the damage is done now. Look at her lipstick
(Beyonce) I'm sorry Ty now fix it so I can go get married. Please
