Abbreviated Photoplay Appraisal's @jcannizz-blog - Tumblr Blog

FYOS Event 3

For my third FYOS event, I went to Cinè during the screening of The Whistleblower. The main story line follows a female police officer, who is transferred overseas to Bosnia to make more money, and her pursuit to bring a major sex trafficking scandal to light. Not only does she find out how serious the problem actually is, but she find that her own officers are involved in trading, paying for, and protecting the clubs which own the young women. Because the film is based on a true story, it truly hits you hard to watch some of the more graphic scenes of the movie (rapes, attacks, etc.). Speaking of the effect the film had on the audience, I was very surprised to see that a few people actually walked out during the film, whispering that it was “too much for them” or that it was “too graphic”, and this really bothered me. I feel like by walking out the people missed the entire point of the movie. I felt like the director produced this film to bring to light the terrible conditions in Bosnia during this time, and also the unfair ending that followed it. The film was supposed to make the audience uncomfortable and force them to understand what the girls in the film were going through. Overall, although I can admit the movie definitely made me cringe at points, I enjoyed the movie. I thought it was really well produced and enlightened me to a subject that I had no idea about.

Edit My Script !

Reblog if you have any other ideas about my script :) !

Critique for Daniel

Some things I liked:

- The title of the film.

- All the attention to detail (especially the cars/music)

- It really seemed like you had well thought out dialogue coming from the old man while he was talking to your MC.

Some things to think about:

- This was mentioned in class as well - there really isn't a need for your MC's voice over’s, because when you read it you understand how the character is feeling through all the actions in the film. However, some of it you can just turn into dialogue. For example, when the MC is thinking to himself "Yeah I got it..." he could actually say that out loud to Riley.

- It seems kind of random that the MC packs instruments but never uses them in the film, and we don't see that they are really of significance. However, I can understand that it fits the kind of character you are writing, so it's not pertinent that you take it out.

- Instead of saying, "Let's get you fixed up at my car" maybe say something about taking him the hospital. I know it's implied, it just seems weird that he would say that and they both just get in the car and drive without saying anything more.

- Now, the film seems more like it’s trying to persuade the character to views rather than comfort/enlighten him. Maybe just stick to one main message from the old man instead of giving so many views at one time.

- I feel like the MC should do something with the cross at the end of the story - maybe hang it over his rear view mirror of his car or at least look twice at it before he continues his journey.

tabuga-blog

Critique my screenplay!

jcannizz-blog

tabuga:

Hey guys. I’m posting this so everyone can reblog and critique me or whatever. If you don’t remember which one is mine, it was the one about the woman who is married but falls in love with a man she met in a dream, and he ends up being the one who hit her in the car accident, but she still loves him. Critique away!

Some things I liked:

- I liked that the MC continued to look at her hands throughout the script. It seems to show that she is always is disbelief of her accident, and but also point out the effect of touch (between her and her husband and her and Aaron).

- The fact that the MC's husband calls her by a nickname.

- The way the film ends so the audience isn't exactly sure what happens in the end.

Some things to look over:

- This isn't that big of a deal, but when the doctor informs the MC about her injurys I would put "you managed to avoid critical injuries" after her list of injuries. When it was read out loud it sounded kind of sarcastic/funny, because although she doesn't have any serious injuries he lists off quite a few things after he says that she avoided critical injuries.

- In the same scene, maybe change "measurements" to "check your vitals" just because it sounds a bit awkward.

- Why didn't the husband visit the MC the first day she woke up?

- Make it a clearer in the script that the "Judy and Greg's House - Evening" is a memory, and not happening later that night. The word "background'' kind of insinuates that she is drifting into thought, but I would just add something else to be sure.

- To me, it doesn't really seem like the MC needs children. If you write in that she has them, it's a bit strange that they never visited her at the hospital, and the fact that they are never shown in the film anyway means you can take them out and it wouldn't effect anything.

- In "Int. Hospital Room - Day" it was also a bit awkward sounding when the doctor, Greg, and Judy all say "ok" three times in a row.

Seems like a great first draft !

ernxxx-deactivated20120301

Meep, HELP!

jcannizz-blog

ernxxx:

Make this better, please.

Some things I liked:

- I really liked that you tied destiny into it - even after the MC lives a better day he still dies in the end because it was meant to happen

- The ending paragraph is really well written, and I liked the idea that the hospital room has started to look more like his room at home to insinuate he has been out for a while

Some things to think about:

- The line "Slow down, Kirby! Don't get distracted!" just sounds a bit weird when read out loud because it's not something teachers would typically say. Maybe just change to "Watch where you're going, Kirby" or something?

- Reword your paragraph about Kirby waking up and remembering the accident, and then deciding to try to live the day differently, because if he is "trying to figure out how it happened in the first place" why wouldn't he be retracing his steps exactly? Just clarify that he remembers the accident, and to try to avoid it he will try living the day differently.

- The dialogue gets a bit cheesy in the "better day" and might come off a bit comical where you are trying to make a point. Change some of your wording around on phrases like "I can tell today is going to be a good day! Thanks for breakfast mom!" and the conversation between the MC and the friend about his test grade.

Hope that helps !

whatbecomesofus-deactivated2012

Critiques - Maddie

jcannizz-blog

whatbecomesofus:

Hi guys,

I am pretty sure that you are supposed to reblog this with your critiques.

but that might not be correct.

I am a little dense when it comes to tumblr.

But, anyways, thank you for your critiques and ideas!

Some things I really liked about your film:

- It was really well set up and developed (descriptions/details like the suburban area the MC lives etc.)

- The fact that you made the mother the last one to leave in Elvie's "dream", because it showed that at least deep down Elvie realized her mother cared for her, she just felt she was a disappointment

- The title

Some things I might consider revising:

- Just make sure to remember to go back at change "name" to Elvie, and spell check (like in the friend’s speech to Elvie)

- Maybe leave out the teacher as one of the abusers? I think just having her family and close friends beating on her get's the point across that she feels she is a disappointment to all her loved ones. To me, putting in the teacher isn't necessary because she is not part of the MC "close circle". However, you could put her dialogue into the mother's speech (the mother would say that her grades have been bad and that she wouldn't get into to college etc.) this way it hits the MC harder.

- I like that in the end of her "dream" the friend kills Elvie, but I don't think she should use a gun. It seems like all the abuse up to that point has been physical - meaning they are actually hitting her with their own hands or using an object that has meaning (like the brother's baseball bat). Maybe she is simply beaten to death? - Make Elvie's words in the end exactly the same as her words at the end of the "dream". Now they are "I am so sorry" vs. "I am so very sorry" - it doesn't seem like a big difference, but I think it would have more of an effect on the audience.

Favorite Short's So Far..

Of the short's we have watched for homework, these are my top 5 favorites:

1. The Crush

2. I'll Wait For The Next One

3. The Incident

4. Zen and the Art of Landscaping

5. Gridlock

The Incident

I truly loved The Incident because I felt like it was very realistic, and I appreciated the fact that in the end the main character did not turn himself in.

I think this film was supposed to ask you "What would you do in this situation?" It's easy enough to say that you would do the right thing and call the police at the time of the accident, and take your punishment, but would you really? Would you choose the "fight" instead of the "flight" emotion? I honestly can't say that I know for sure. I think there are too many circumstances at play, circumstances which the director does a good job of highlighting throughout the film.

The beginning of the film, for the most part, is peaceful and relaxed. The main character and his girlfriend are moving in together, but he is also in between jobs while she is busy at work. This gives him a lot of free time during the day. When he is at the park enjoying this "free time", an old man approaches him wanting to ride his bike. I would do exactly what the main character did at this point - tell him no. You don't know who this man is, and also he suspiciously brought up the fact that he used to have a bike like our main characters. This is a reason to believe he might want to steal it.

This whole scene is meant to show how quickly something can escalade, and just how quickly a life can be taken. One second the two men are arguing, and the next, the old man is dead. Surprisingly, we feel more for the main character (what is he going to do next/it wasn't all his fault) then we do for the now dead old man (well, he kind of deserved it/it was an accident after all). The director does a good job of shooting our main character in a way that shows all the thoughts running through his head - what is his next move? The main character now literally and figuratively has blood on his hands as he moves the old man under the bridge (and washes his hands off in the river afterwards). From this point on, our character evolves. He doesn't exactly know what to do with his life, or if he is okay with the decision he made. This is seen by all the trips he makes back to the old man, and an attempt to further understand the old man's life and make a connection with him beyond the grave.

The film also does a good job of playing with the idea of time. For example, in one scene the main character is on the bench in the park and all the voices around him are speeding up, yet he is staying the same. It seems to suggest that the whole world is moving around him, yet he is staying still. He is still in a sort of purgatory as he deals with his murder. Also, during the scene in the bedroom when the character nearly suffocates his girlfriend, the clock seems to be ticking slower as he thinks over death and what it means.

Finally, our main character breaks down as he comes to terms with what he has done, and the fact that it is time for him to move on without the old man. It almost seems like he is going to confess to the murder, but he ends up making an excuse. The ending seems almost full circle because as the character rides his bike to the park once again, it is shot it the same style it was at the beginning of the film. He is going to move on with his life. The old man is merely a thought now; a lost memory.

Doodle Bug

Doodle Bug gives me the same feeling The Twilight Zone does; a little creepy with a bit of humor, and leaving me wanting more expanation. I like the opening title using the man's eyes as the "O's" because right off the bat, we can sense that main character is searching for something. You can tell that he is trying to kill what seems like a bug throughout the film, although it also seems like he is using this as a distraction from real problems in his life. It seems that he has dedicated much time and effort to find and kill this bug, possibly a parrallel to the time and effort it takes to find yourself (also seen as a connection when the "bug" is really a smaller version of the character).

As soon as I realized the "bug" was the main character on a smaller level, I knew the film was going to end with him being killed by a larger version of himself. This didn't necessarily ruin the ending, because I think the director would have expected the audience to make this connection. I like the film for this reason (it was easy to follow,a very short message), but on the other hand it probably wouldn't make my top favorite shorts.

I think the point here is that there is always something bigger then you, whether you want to take it as a religious message, or a simple environmental chain message. Also, to depict the effort it takes to find ones self.

Post-It Love

This is a short I imagine everyone enjoying. You gotta enjoy a good office romance shown in a modern style, and of course the fact that this couple is so sweet and innocent.

The plot is simple: two people in an office like eachother, but are too shy to say anything so they resort to leaving post-it note "messages". As time goes on, the messages get more and more elaborate until finally it seems as if there is nothing left to do except actually acknowledge each other.

The opening shot is unique - everything is a mirror image for the most part (the placement of the printer and objects surronding it). After the scene of the man recieving the smiley face in the folder, most of the shots are pretty similar. For a few seconds the person is doing something until they discover a new message from the other person (always in an excessivly cute way). I thought the note in the bathroom was a bit weird ... maybe overstepping a boundary, but it added some innocent humor to the film which I think was the point of such an outlandish post-it placement. The fact that the sign "can you please make sure that stationary you take is soley for work purpose" was a really good way to add some humor without being too blunt. Especially because while you are reading the sign, the women is walking out with an entire pile of post-its.

One of my favorite scenes was the one where the girl goes into the supply closet to get more post-its. I love how the camera starts in an extreme close-up so you can see her eyes change as the light turns on, and her smile once she see's the flower. The final scene was also really well done. I love the way the camera follows her out of the closet and then does a quick zoom out to reveal the masterpiece the man has created for the women (there's even shading!). Then a slow zoom in to show just how shocked and emotional the women is.

One final note is the music. I think it would be quite annoying alone, but it matches the film so well that it is more than bearable. It definitely changes pace as the film goes on, especially scene in the end when it all gets louder to reveal the masterpiece. A great way to end the short with that zoom in and the music playing with it.

And to think, it all started with a smiley face in a folder ...

Bean Cake

I thought "Bean Cake" was alright, but not one of my favorites because the film didn't really evoke any emotion from me.

From the very beginning, when the boys mom said that his school uniform wasn't in yet, I knew it was going to be a bad first day. I mean really? We knew the kid was going to be subjected to teasing. I also felt bad for the boy while he was undergoing questions from the teacher about what was most important to him. The boy gave a completely reasonable answer considering he was only a child. Kids don't really put things in the perspective they need to - so yes, maybe a bean cake is the most important thing to him (which I could definitely see because red bean cakes are super delicious!). Of course, Japan is very big on honoring leaders and so and, and given the time of the movie it is easy to see that the teacher was just following the general tone of living. The ending of course was cute, the conflict is resolved - the boy made up with his teacher and he now has a friend in his class who might even be more important to him than bean cakes. One of the things that surprised me in the film was the amount of power the teacher seemingly had. I mean now, and in America, I feel like if a parent found out their kid had been punished (even if it was for a good reason) the parent would rush in the yelling at the teacher or something. But in this case, the teacher is the one who invites the mom and child in and dismisses them at the end of their meeting. This is probably because in this time, and being in Japan, teachers were more respected.

For Our Man

I really appreciated the idea behind this film - making a film about an author's writing process as they try to kill of a character - I thought it was really creative. However, this probably wasn't one of my favorite films simply because it was a bit long and didn't keep my attention during every scene. Just something to note on really quick, this film really reminded me of another one I had seen a few years ago http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0UPx0NzVso I think it was the voice/narration and also just parts of the editing. But anyway I enjoy that the whole time the author was simply trying to come up with "a simply narrative trap" in yet it took some serious thinking until he could settle on one idea (which was really a combination of some of his previous ideas). I felt like the purpose was to really let the audience know what kind of thought goes into making a novel; it takes time and planning and a well developed relationship with your character before you can properly write about them/execute them.

I really liked all the opening scenes of how to kill of a character (the high beam etc.) and also the scene following the bullet out of the gun and past all the people and the baby and everything. The editing was really well done, and the pacing was perfectly matched to the speed of the narrator's voice. I also thought the transition around 1:06 was pretty awesome. I also thought the way the main character repeated "From the end of the street comes our man..." each time he was developing an idea was a creative way to tie all the scenes together because it was a constant reminder of the purpose of the film.

One thing that kind of bothered me was the fact that in the end, after this character just sacrificed his life for this kid, the mom just walks away. She's not trying to help him or call for help or anything? She just leaves it to our narrator/truck driver at the time.

Finally, the ending is what brought my attention back to the film. Everything about what happens after the character dies and what happens to the boy and his penny was a great way to end the short.

Cashback

Overall, I really liked this short. It spoke to anyone who has ever had a dull job just because you needed the money, but your main focus was simply how to pass the time. I really liked the opening shot of the film; to me it resembled a shopping cart moving on the ground which was a cool intro into the supermarket. Another note on the production of the film - I loved all the music they used. There is upbeat "passing the time", there is slow piano music while the main character is sketching the women, and even the music during the credits seemed to tie the whole tone of the film together. To note on the characters, I think we should start with the boss. I loved that he was portrayed as your typical jerk boss who feels like he is better then everyone (I mean really? your the manager of a local supermarket .. your ego shouldn't be THAT big). His character's personality is what makes us feel more for the main character and all the other workers. We can't blame them for just trying to pass the time on night shift while under that boss's nose. The two guys can be seen as our typical "comic relief" characters.

At first, it seems like you should be creeped out or repulsed by the main character's actions as he mentally undresses the women in the store, and then proceeds to sketch them .. but you're not. It's because we no that this guy means no harm, he is acting as any serious artist would; treating his models and artwork with the outmost respect and care. If you weren't convinced by how he acted during that seen, the fact that he saw the woman as deer in a different seen, compared to any other animal, proves that he sees women in a different light then others.

askaar-blog

jcannizz-blog

Loved this part of your review

"We are with the man throughout his journey of figuring out what happened to him. I loved the mystery this film presents and how we are forced to make the journey along with the man, which brings us closer to the story." So true, the film is full of mystery, and as the main character begins to unravel the truth so do we as an audience. I think this is what made the realization about the woman so terrible, because it was one piece of information that we found out without the main character

askaar:

Morning Fall is a short film about a motorcycle accident. The film starts with establishing shots of the surrounding landscape that slowly evolve into shots of the man. We are with the man throughout his journey of figuring out what happened to him. I loved the mystery this film presents and...

Sooner or Later

Usually, I do not like movie with a war setting because the plot seems to relate to the history of it, but this time I feel like the main focus was on the plot, and the history was just used to make the piece stronger, so I really enjoyed it. It kind of reminded me of "Source Code" along with a few other films, the whole goingbackintimetochangethepast type theme, but it really worked in this film.

Some thoughts..

Things are not always as they seem theme ..

When the film first started I was trying to decide if it was going to be about torture or experimentation .. experimentation it is. The first thing that really caught my interest was the matching of the "ding" sound with the mains head movement when he said, "Are you sure you don't feel anything?" It was kind of the first clue that the film was going to start twisting in some way. The prisoner seemed pretty distracted throughout the whole thing (.. I mean there are explosions going on.. but still). Then all of a sudden the films pace picks up when the man lifts his glass to reveal that it is all of a sudden empty, and then to reveal that the man in charge has been shot. My first reaction was that this must all be an effect of the "serum", and just when I start to think that maybe my instincts where wrong .. it snaps back a few minutes to a "dejah-vu" effect. Eventually the man in charge notices the changes that have been made, and before you know it, the prisoner has two versions of himself in the room and the guy in charge is shot dead so (one of the) prisoners can escape. Things are as resolved as they can be (seeing as time timetravel - for lack of a better word - was involved) and we are left to the same scene as the one in the beginning, (and already replayed once), however this time, the ashtray that was originally emptied out, is now full. Maybe this is to insinuate how many times this effect has been played out. Too bad the guy in charge didn't notice that like he did the other changes ..

Morning Fall

"Morning Fall" was only okay to me until the end, and then I fell in love with it. It was as if I was only half paying attention for a while, and then the final shot snapped me back into the film, and I had to rewatch the whole thing just to see if it really happened.

The film tells a story of a man and woman who are in a motorcycle accident. The man wakes up and after a while, he is found by a passerbyer who takes him to get help. However, the mans serious head injury causes memory loss, and he doesn't remember that his wife/girlfriend is still back at the crash, seriously injured/dead.

Some things I noticed...

The main character is wearing a horseshoe ring (symbol usually for luck), but he was just in a terrible accident, and even more unlucky, he can't remember that his wife/girlfriend was with him. While the man is shuffling through his bag, he takes out a hairbrush which at first I thought belong to a daughter, but now I think it was a small reminder that his wife/girlfriend was in fact with him on the trip. He must just not have thought about it in all the confusion. Just as a visual note, I really like the cut during the man falling; it shows him falling out of the shot, to falling on the ground. It looked really clean. I also like that while the man is talking on the payphone, they use broll of the wreck, and that at the end they continue the sound of the vibrating phone/the woods over black to keep your thoughts moving.

It seems like all drama was saved for the last shot, when the audience realizes that the woman is still back in the woods - ironically, where the lighter landed that the man threw earlier (they probably used the lighter to rack-focus off of to show just how close the woman was to the man, yet far enough for him to leave without him seeing her. I think that focusing shot can be seen as the most important shot throughout the film.

Finally, the fact that the "conflict" isn't resolved at the end is what makes the film so great, because the audience is left feeling shocked and wanting answers.

lumperroosevelt-blog

jcannizz-blog

Loved your review - I thought you brought up some good points, including the possibility of play on words with "Whim." Also, I don't know how I didn't pick up on the fact that he had called the wrong number, but I thought it was something totally different happening! Glad I got that cleared up.

lumperroosevelt:

I’ve seen Gridlock before. I found it on StumbleUpon under my humor subcategory. I remember it being really funny in a sick kind of way at the time, but upon viewing it again, I found it a bit sad and unrealistic. More on that later. Our story starts with a man stuck in traffic. We immediately...

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