See above for my events this month. I'm heading to Teen Book Con in Houston, Texas, and then the return of BookCon in NYC (the panel name is amusing because Reasons We Break is not actually a retelling. But of course, no book is written in a vacuum—there are ~influences~ from iconic media, and there's definitely a conversation to be had about that!)! Excited for both, and if you're going, I hope you'll swing by one of my panels and/or signings.
In other news, the PAPERBACK of Reasons We Break comes out Nov 3!
I'm planning to write some brand-new bonus material for people who preorder (Rajan's past as a gang enforcer scene anyone...??!!). And I'll make the bonus Simran/Rajan extended prologue available again, too. It'll be open internationally. So get those preorders in at your favourite retailer or indie bookstore, and keep your receipts. ;)
Very happy to announce there will be one last book in the TJ-verse coming!
I’ve been vaguely wanting to write a story for Chandani for a while now. If you need your memory jogged, she’s the best friend of TJ Powar, and also comes up in REASONS WE BREAK as a side character who causes much confusion, chaos and amusement. It was during writing RWB that I realized I really, *really* wanted to write a book exploring her character. She just needed the right story, and after years of trying to figure it out, here we are. With her aiding an academic misconduct scheme to keep her own future and dreams alive. Chandani Sharma on the wrong side of history? Likely place for her to be.
It’s so weird where writing life takes you. A year before writing TJ POWAR, I never would’ve imagined writing a lighthearted YA contemporary. And then, while writing TJ POWAR, I never imagined that I’d write two spinoffs from that book's universe. I mean, I was just vibing writing that book. I didn't expect it to come to mean so much to me.
But there was a magic when I was writing TJ POWAR that I recognized even then. I dearly loved that cast of characters. Later, writing REASONS WE BREAK, even *more* characters came up that I wanted to know more about. I am unlikely to write books about all of them, but so many of the side characters have inner lives and backstories and futures that I have mapped out in my head. And some of them, I am writing about. Like in the case of this next YA.
This book will be more similar in vibe to RWB than to TJ POWAR, I think. The second lead for Chandani’s book, aka her love interest, is one that people will also be familiar with if they’ve read RWB. They had a lot more interaction in my initial drafts of RWB but I had to cut them because of how long the book got. However, I noted it for later. So here we are.
The plot for this book is something I’m sure I’ll talk more about in the future, but to briefly comment on it, it was inspired initially by a 2023 news story from Stanford—a freshman journalist at the university’s independent newspaper uncovered a research scandal, which was so big that it led to the president of the university stepping down. The more I read about that story, the more eyebrow-raising details there were, and the more questions I had. And on and on down the rabbit hole of academic corruption/research misconduct I went… it’s fascinating stuff.
Of course, this will be a standalone. That means you won’t have to read either of my previous novels to read this one. HOWEVER,,,, I think people who *have* read my previous novels will get a kick out of this one! Not only because of the leads, but some of the other returning characters...
Add To Goodreads
And if you’re thinking to yourself, “i'm not really into these spinoffs” well i’ve got something completely separate coming too. I look forward to sharing that when I can! because that one is super special to me too.
feeling very grateful that i get to publish more books <3 this industry is hard, so each and every one feels like a miracle. thank you for following along!
how did you come up with the title for REASONS WE BREAK?
alright everyone; we doing a Reasons We Break Q&A dump courtesy of @ruhwubby's questions under the cut!
but, I'll answer your first question here. I did not come up with it—my editor did! The book was originally "Simran book" in my drafts, then became "The Bookkeeper", and then my publisher wanted to change it to something that sounded a bit more YA. We tossed around multiple different possibilities, but when my editor brought up "Reasons We Break", I felt pretty good about it immediately! It felt so on theme for the book.
BEWARE: Major Reasons We Break SPOILERS under the cut!
for the mathematics and code breaking aspect of the novel, did you conceptualize the puzzle prior to writing the story or during the drafting process?
During the drafting process (although more accurately, the published version's code breaking came into being in like, the third draft). I regret to tell you that the extent of my planning prior to writing was "uhhhh Simran cracks the books". the story always comes to me first; the logistics of how to write it are for me to figure out later LMAOO.
what is Rajan's opinion of Charlie? (also, in universe up through the end of RWB, has Rajan and Charlie's only verbal interaction been the one scene in TJP [page 176]?)
RUBBING MY HANDS TOGETHER. unfortunately you're correct, that's the only time they met. however i have LOTS of thoughts about them as a duo. i think rajan likes him, because charlie is very likeable and non judgmental (he did, after all, defend Rajan, who was ostensibly a murderer, to his girlfriend and her parents on their first meeting, which was ballsy). I'm sure Rajan recognizes him as a #real one; his intuition is pretty good.
following the last question, I'm guessing that, at some point, Rajan and Charlie meet (again)! when (in what context/for what occasion) does that happen??
Oh, because their girlfriends are cousins, of course they meet again! I won't say when in case I ever write it. But, overall, I think they wouldn't hang out on their own, but at any family reunion event (holidays, weddings, road trips, etc etc) where TJ and Simran bring them along, and they automatically seek out the other's company. Long term, they'd be each other's favourite extended family members. Rajan teaches Charlie Punjabi swear words and tries to get him drunk (although much to his disappointment, Charlie is pretty much exactly the same when he's drunk). Charlie likes to throw random debate topics at Rajan to ragebait him. Rajan ignores Charlie's stutter when he's tired and Charlie distracts Rajan when cravings get to him.
I think theirs would be a very wholesome friendship. The entire extended family would be like "what an odd pair" but also secretly think it's cute that they automatically find each other and start yapping in the back of the room.
VERY SPOILERY, please feel free to redact names (or anything else) as necessary, even though these q's will be under the cut:
I love how you chose not to make the reader aware of Simran's plan when she meets Manny Khullar for the first time and takes the "refreshments." Even though we're in Simran's POV, we don't have full access to her thoughts in these scenes. From a craft perspective, why did you decide to write it this way? In other words, how did you decide not to closely follow Simran as she risks her life to take photos of the ledger, in real time? Did you automatically know that you would rather sprinkle hints throughout the scene to allude to what she did and only reveal it outright later?
When I was writing Simran, I was thinking about the conniving, manipulative POV characters in the media I consumed and grew up. Think (some versions of) Sherlock, Artemis Fowl, Kaz Brekker, Eugenides, etc etc. In my experience, they were mostly male. Smart female characters, in my perception anyway, seemed often driven by on-page rage/powerful emotion, and their plans were usually laid out transparently as events were happening. Whereas with the male characters, it was usually cloaked, they moved in silence, and you'd have to guess what they were really doing. One exception I vividly remember is Kestrel from The Winner's Curse.... she will ALWAYS be famous! (There are a lot of personality similarities between Kestrel/Arin and Simran/Rajan now that I think about it...)
So, yes it was planned. I wrote Simran with the hope of coding her in the same devious way as Kestrel, as Kaz, as Artemis etc, to outwit her enemies, and maybe even thrill her readers! I'm glad it worked for you!
VERY SPOILERY once again: which idea came first—Zach making Rajan OD by force or Perry threatening Zach at needlepoint?
Needlepoint. I believe that might have been in the first or second draft—it was a threat that a real life gang member mentioned in a documentary I watched for research, and it stuck with me enough that I added it to the story. Rajan's unfortunate OD came later. Connecting them made absolute sense to me!
did you always know that you wanted to write chapter 45 in script/screenplay format, or did you try to write it as prose first?
I think I did try writing it in Nick's or Sukha's POV at first, but those were extremely half hearted attempts because it was so obvious it wasn't right. I had a tough time deciding how to tell that piece of the story tbh. But, the screenplay idea just came to me and I rolled with it.
why June 18, specifically? (is it a date that you like, or did it just work best for the story, etc)
LMAO of course YOU would ask this question Miss "I remember all significant dates". regrettably my mind is simple and it just worked best for the timeline.
what kind of phone does Simran have? what color is it (mainly, the back and sides, since I'm guessing the front is a screen)? does she use a phone case, and if so, what is the color/design like? which apps does she use the most, besides the ones featured on page in RWB (i.e., calling, texting, camera)?
mrs puff from spongebob sweating and saying "oh neptune". gif
she definitely has some old version of the most cheap line of phones and a super cheap phone plan. It's black, she doesn't have a phone case because she lives on the edge, and in terms of apps, probably whatsapp for family reasons, followed by internet, and then the alarm clock app (she puts 3 alarms in succession if she has to wake up early).
not a question but your "I will pass on part A" from the 2022 TJP tumblr q&a was SO WORTH THE WAIT EEEEEEEEEEEE
I'm so glad!! (Q&A for anyone interested)
similar to the tjcharlie question in 2022, how often do Simran and Rajan see each other after Simran moves to Vancouver? (I LOVE THEM SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH)
MEE TOO <3
Not that often, given Simran's busy schedule, and Rajan not wanting to bother her (silly boy). Probably a few times a semester when she comes home for break, but they text constantly, every day. Simran didn't used to be a chronically-on-her-phone girlie but lemme tell you, when she's in Vancouver she ALWAYS BE ON THAT PHONE in class trying to keep a poker face in class when he sends her something funny.
And when she's struggling Rajan would surprise her with a visit mid-exam season. He'd bring her cookies and sweets and keep her place clean for her, fall asleep on her bed while she's studying at her desk late at night, and wake up early with her snuggled against his side.
and rajan when he's alone in kelowna? INCREDIBLY grumpy, especially right after simran leaves. but he does start building his own community without her, which is exactly what he needs. <3
also similar to the tjcharlie question in 2022: when Rajan visits Simran in Vancouver, what is the first thing he does when he sees her? when Simran visits Rajan in Kelowna, what is the first thing she does when she sees him?
HE picks her up in a big hug and swings her around in a circle, kisses her cheek, etc.
SHE smiles bigger than she has the whole semester.
what was Charlie's reaction when he realized TJ and Simran were no longer at the party, and TJ's car was gone? (how many times did he call and/or text her? did TJ call/text him back while waiting for Simran, or was she was too busy processing everything Simran told her?)
He probably realized when word started going around that Simran had been caught with Rajan. He looked for TJ, couldn't find her, and texted her, then Simran too. Only TJ responded, reassuring him everything was alright, just that she was driving Simran home (TJ at this point in the proceedings would lie about Simran's gang involvement to protect her, not knowing that Simran had already trusted him with the USB).
how did Charlie react the next time he saw TJ? (this goes without saying but please feel free to give as many details as you want hehehehe) WHEN was the next time he saw TJ?
TJ dropped Simran off home, made sure she was okay (as okay as she could be while sobbing off all her makeup into her outfit and incoherent on her bedroom floor). then she drove back to the party in complete silence, no music, windows down, unable to get the image of her cousin losing it out of her head. then returned to the party, where Charlie could tell she was shook but she wouldn't tell him why. after she reassured him that nobody was hurt and she was alright, he'd probably say, "You know you can trust me, right?" and TJ would smile at the irony of this before saying "It isn't my secret to tell." And she'd be afraid he'd take it badly but Charlie is Charlie, and he'd just accept it and ask her to dance with him.
(a loooong time later, Simran would eventually tell him the truth about everything herself, and TJ would be relieved she doesn't have to keep that secret anymore. then charlie would tell TJ about the usb finally and she'd be mad he didn't tell her sooner. he'd remind her they were both keeping Simran's secrets.)
a silly egg question: I've noticed that my favorite way to eat eggs changes over time. I'm currently in my omelet era, but I've had fried, scrambled, and boiled eggs eras in the past. during the time when REASONS WE BREAK takes place, what are the following characters' favorite way to eat eggs (if they like eggs)?
Simran, Rajan, TJ, Charlie, Kiran, Sukha, Yash, Chandani, Jassa, Neetu, Zohra, Nick, Kat
going through egg eras is SO real
Simran: egg bhurji the way her mom makes it
rajan: hard boiled because it's easy to make the night before and eat on the way out the door to early morning work
tj: scrambled
charlie: eggs benedict
kiran: she pretends she likes scrambled, but secretly it's her mom's egg bhurji too :(
sukha: eats only egg whites for the protein bc he's going down some bodybuilder internet spiral currently (yash teases him mercilessly for this)
yash: only eats the hardboiled eggs rajan makes him
chandani: a fancy omelette
jassa: usually eats a plain omelette but he too prefers a fancy omelette
neetu: doesn't eat eggs much because most of her fam is vegetarian
zohra: whatever they serve in jail (LMAO that was mean. fr she probably likes egg muffins)
Initially, back in 2020 when I started writing it, I only set out to write a fun follow-up to my debut. I wouldn’t have been able to imagine what I and this book would go through in the years following.
The story morphed into something else—a passion project I was sort of obsessed with. Determined to finish. And, when its prospects for publication seemed bleak, it became symbolic. Of all the reasons I became a writer. Of all the reasons I love writing. And none of that had anything to do with publishing. Or publishing milestones. Or typical metrics of success. It had to do with the joy—of feverishly typing late into the night and daydreaming about it during the day, the satisfaction of seeing a ripped apart draft start to come back together, the euphoria of finding THE tidbit of info during your research that will make a scene great, of thinking of a good piece of dialogue and and scrambling to write it down, of a great suggestion from a beta reader that makes you think wait i could do something SO cool with this—the list goes on and on.
This book reminded me why I love to write, why i want to keep doing it as long as i am able, and why I should never compromise on the stories of my heart. I know this sounds like a rather banal realization but it’s one thing to know your priorities logically and quite another to have them truly tested. For this reason among many others, Reasons We Break is extra special to me. And although my journey with it is now done, I’m so, so happy to get to send it off now—on a new journey, with readers. Where hopefully, Simran & Rajan's story will continue to live for years on.
Some Housekeeping
If you preordered/requested from your library and filled out my pre-release gift form, you should have received an email about it by now—so go check!
If you didn't preorder, you can buy this book NOW wherever you get your books! Here are some starter links:
One for readers: YALLFest Nov 15 in Charleston, SC! Events as above, but basically I'm on an 11am panel (Plotting and Losing the Plot), doing a signing at 12pm, and moderating a 1pm panel ("Does this count as writing?").
And one for teachers: NCTE/ALAN Nov 23/24 in Denver, CO! My panel is Nov 24 3:45-4:10pm! Called Crushes, Soulmates, and Other Dilemmas!
I'm so excited for both of these—hope to see some of you there <3
***Just over a week until REASONS WE BREAK comes out! Remember, you still have time to claim your free preorder/library request gift by filling out this form! Open internationally!***
Announcing: preorder/library request gift Reasons We Break!
I have totally been neglecting this blog smh but I just wanted to put out on here that you can receive a GIFT personally from ME for nabbing my book early which is very fun and EXCITING!!
If you preorder, in any format from any retailer, and fill out the form below, you will receive from me (after Nov 4, the release date):
a PDF bonus extended prologue (if you want the full scoop on the pre-book Simran/Rajan friendship, you will want this! It’s 4 extra chapters of material.)
a signed bookplate! (which you can stick in the front of the book, to have it be signed!)
a Reasons We Break themed bookmark because this book is chunky and you may need to mark your place ;)
If you request the book from your library, you’ll receive the PDF extended prologue! So lots of goodies to go around. And it’s all international!
Claim Your Gift!
Want to read the first 3 chapters of RWB before deciding? I gotchu—they're on my Substack!
And lastly, here's a tiny teaser from the bonus story that I have shared NOWHERE ELSE yet. for funsies (subject to change because I'll still edit it before I send it lol):
“Tell me it didn’t hurt you,” he said quietly. “Tell me it didn’t get to you, not even a little bit. Tell me that, and I’ll say I’m sorry. I’ll say I won’t do it again.”
Simran opened her mouth but discovered she could not form those words.
(If you have read TJ POWAR I think you might enjoy this particular scene of the bonus story hehe <3)
Hello! no question, just wanted to tell you I recently read TJ Powar and I loved it SO much, from a fellow hairy Desi girlie! I’ve struggled with my body hair my whole life (or more accurately, struggled with my worries about how people will see it) and it was so validating and helpful to read a book about it that tackled the subject in a nuanced way and brought up all the different sides of the conversation. Also just love the characters and the way you write, can’t wait for Reasons We Break!!
thank you so much!! i love to hear this, every time. :') i hope you like Reasons We Break!! you'll get lots of familiar cameos hehe <3
HELLO I will be in this year's virtual School Library Journal Teen Live event <3 The panel I'm on takes place 4:15-5pm ET on Aug 7! I'm lowkey starstruck about getting to yap with these very cool folks...
This event is free, and although it's targeted towards librarians and educators, anyone worldwide can register. I suggest looking through the schedule (it's an all day event!) and seeing what else you want to attend because there are MANY! PANELS! And they'll be recorded and available online for registrants for later viewing, too, so don't worry if you can't make it at exactly that time (plus some panels happen concurrently! so you can view one and then later view the other hehe).
American Library Association Conference! + Blurbs!
As usual I pull up talking about my events just days beforehand but ANYWAY, I'm very excited that my publisher is sending me to the ALA conference in Philadelphia this weekend to promote REASONS WE BREAK! You can find me :
June 28, 2025 at 11:30-12:20 PM EST: I'll be a panelist on the panel "I Found My Thrill: What's Trending in YA Horror & Thrillers", which will be located at the PopTop Stage!
Then, at Disney Booth 1419, I will be signing ARCs of REASONS WE BREAK at 12:30-1:30 PM EST!
If you see me there, please say hi! :)
In the meantime, feast your eyes on the following excellent blurbs from some amazing authors who read RWB early:
“A genre-defying masterpiece. Reasons We Break sets new standards in contemporary fiction, imbuing a riveting coming-of-age narrative with beautifully perilous romance and vicious, thrilling gang politics. This is storytelling in a class of its own.” —CHLOE GONG, #1 NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHOR OF THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS
“I dub Jesmeen Kaur Deo the new queen of bad boys! Reasons We Break meshes culture, intrigue, suspense, and a hot romance all in one brilliant novel.” —SIMONE ELKELES, NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHOR OF THE PERFECT CHEMISTRY SERIES
“If you only read one book this year, let it be this one. This expertly written novel is gritty and brutal, yet so hopeful and full of heart. Deo effortlessly weaves together complex, layered characters; a thrilling, fast-paced plot; and a heartwarming romance. Gripping and original, this is the type of book that reminds me why I love reading!” —AAMNA QURESHI, AUTHOR OF IF I LOVED YOU LESS
“Propulsive, riveting, and romantic—an absolute must-read.” —ADIBA JAIGIRDAR, AWARD-WINNING AUTHOR OF THE HENNA WARS
And, here's the new cover—updated with a nice quote from one of these blurbers, hehe :) Out Nov 4!
Soooo excited to reveal the cover for my upcoming thrillmance, REASONS WE BREAK! (Out Nov 4!)
Design: Zareen Johnson; Artist: Adam Campbell
As a reminder here's the short pitch: In this romantic YA drama, Simran, the golden girl of her Sikh community, agrees to handle a gang’s books to help former member Rajan avoid being forced back in. But when Simran’s actions inadvertently drag them into a gang war, she and Rajan find out just what they’d be willing to sacrifice for each other.
I have to say, the team killed it! We initially went in a completely different direction but then decided it wasn't giving what it needed to give. So we scrapped that almost-complete cover, and instead went this way. And I guess the team decided to go hard asf? Because they delivered something that *I* think is so different and honestly, cooler than anything I could've imagined. You'll learn the lion tattoo symbolism when you read the book. ;)
And guess what! You can add to Goodreads and preorder now. And keep your receipts; I'm hoping to do a small preorder gift for people who do preorder, and also those who put in library requests!
Which is next week! Going to the biggest book fair in the world, as a nominee for one of the most prestigious literary prizes in Germany, at the invitation of my German publisher, are three things I never would've imagined a few years ago. But here we go, all those things together! I've also never been to Europe, so I'm excited, even though it'll be a short trip.
And I'm doing a signing while there!
October 19, 2024 at 1:30pm Frankfurt local time: Ya girl will be signing at the Arctis booth (Hall 3, C83)! Please come say hi and give me company! :)
It's true! I finally get to tell you, I've got another book coming!
See above the formal deal announcement. The way I pitched it to friends, however, was, “Think YA Breaking Bad but Walter White is a teenage mathlete and instead of cooking meth, she becomes the bookkeeper for a gang to help her friend pay off his debts.” And I can’t wait to share it in fall 2025!
REASONS WE BREAK is a standalone YA rom-drama. However, for those who’ve read TJ POWAR HAS SOMETHING TO PROVE, it’s also a spinoff, and you’ll find several familiar faces in it. Including the two main characters… because yes, it’s Simran and Rajan’s story!
If you’re one of the people who’ve asked me about these two, I hope you’re at least half as delighted about this news as I am. :) But for those who need their memory jogged, Simran is TJ Powar’s straight-A, “good-girl” cousin; Rajan is the resident troublemaker-slacker of their class. I first had the idea that I wanted to write a book about them while writing TJ POWAR’s earliest drafts in 2019. I had stuck them in a scene together for convenience’s sake, and something clicked, chemistry-wise. So naturally I wanted to get into their heads.
Fast forward to 2020, when I was on submission to editors with TJ POWAR. I didn’t know if that book was going to sell, but I’d already decided that either way, I wanted to write a book about Simran and Rajan. By summer of 2021, the plot had taken shape. I wrote several more drafts feverishly through the rest of 2021. And it turned out to be a different sort of story.
Although it’s a bit darker and ended up sold to another publisher, I still like to think of REASONS WE BREAK as TJ POWAR’s cousin. I mean, it literally is about TJ Powar’s cousin, but also thematically. Asides from the familiar characters, it also deals with plenty of coming-of-age issues, this time including: second gen immigrant guilt, grappling with your parents’ mortality, figuring out romance when you feel “behind” your peers in that realm, and the many ways in which gangs target vulnerable teens. The gang aspect in particular will be recognizable to Canadian readers, as it has a very non-fictional inspiration: the bloody history of Indo-Canadian organized crime, with young South Asians often its greatest victims. It’s a very nuanced topic that I could never hope to fully capture, but I at least attempted to explore one facet: how and why this specific group of immigrant kids, many of whom come from seemingly “normal”, stable families, get targeted and recruited into a life that attempts to destroy them.
It’s a slight departure from the very lighthearted contemporary that my debut novel was but I hope you’ll come along for the ride. Initially, I actually did try to write a story that was more tonally similar—but I had to let go of that. My instincts told me to let these characters take me wherever they wanted to go. And Simran and Rajan really begged me to let them spread their wings and show me the most complex parts of themselves. After all, everyone you know growing up is struggling with different problems. Sometimes, very different problems. For example, you could be worrying about whether you missed a spot shaving while the kid sitting in the desk next to you is wondering whether they’ll make it alive to next week (totally RANDOM examples here obviously). Although both experiences are completely real and valid, this story is an ode to the latter. The kids who grow up too fast. The ones who endure horrors and shoulder burdens that even many adults could barely comprehend.
How could I deny Simran and Rajan the opportunity to tell that story? A story that gave *me* just as much growth as it gave them? I COULD NOT. Which is why, even though it made it a bit harder to publish, you’re getting this story exactly as it was intended—and for that, I could not be happier.
Hi! I just finished reading TJ Power and totally fell in love. It's so important for brown girls to feel okay about their bodies as they naturally are. A question I had was if you did any research on stuttering before writing Charlie's character or if you have any personal experience around it. As someone who stutters, I found it to be respectful and realistically done in a way that stuttering representation rarely is. Thanks again for putting this incredible story into the world.
First of all, I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to get to your question (I haven't logged into Tumblr in a while).
Charlie's stutter, and how it has impacted his social experience, is based on my own. Of course, that doesn't automatically preclude me from writing it inaccurately lmao—I did do some additional research while writing. Particularly because my stutter is now far less noticeable and I needed to remind myself of some things.
I'm so glad it worked for you and that you found it realistic. Thank you so much for this kind note!!
I haven't done an event in a year! But I'm doing one next week, organized by my lovely German publisher Arctis and the youth jury that nominated TJ POWAR's German edition for the German Youth Literature Prize (!!!). This event is probably more for German readers, but if any fellow Anglophones are interested, I can guarantee that any part where I am speaking or being spoken to, will be in English. lmaoo.
May 6, 2024 at 1pm EST: [VIRTUAL over Zoom] I'm doing a reading and discussion with my German translator Meritxell Piel (we will both be reading excerpts!), moderated by youth jury The Book Eaters. People in attendance will include the youth jury as well as some select reading clubs, bookstagrammers/booksellers, and also you, if you would like to join ;)
Anyway, if you want to participate, send Arctis an email: [email protected] and they will send you the Zoom link!
On being an author in a tumultuous Trad Pub landscape
This is very much a... me talking to myself post, not a news post. Skip if talking about publishing is not your interest. :)
If you’re in on publishing discourse, then you know some of the biggest news of the week has been layoffs in the industry. Perhaps the most shocking was the abrupt closure of HarperCollins’ Inkyard Press, which was communicated to authors and agents through a mass email (Inkyard, if you don't know, is a YA imprint, which used to be called Harlequin Teen.). Some of those authors had gotten their edit letters or had marketing meetings with their publishing teams just the day before. The especially terrible part being, of course, that all those Inkyard employees were also let go. And it was a surprise to them too (yikes).
(Here is a Goodreads list of a bunch of Inkyard authors you can help support!)
It sucks for so many reasons—for all those authors and employees—and while I’m just an observer to this, not having any titles with HC myself, a lot of people I know were affected. And for myself? It did make me reflect on my priorities as an author in this industry. We have truly no control over what could happen on the publishing side of things. There is stuff going on at a corporate level that is… way unrelated to the work I am doing. That has nothing to do with art and everything to do with capitalism and shareholders and higher-ups making their business decisions in NYC offices.
For myself, over the past few years, one of my major struggles has been figuring out what books I am going to write, when I have felt the pressure to write certain things or to change my works in certain ways, to create things which are more “marketable”. I have nearly bent to these expectations many times, before realizing how unhappy I was and leaving it to go work on something I was actually passionate about. This has delayed my career but I knew it was the right decision for me. And yeah, this Inkyard news really just cemented that for me: there is no point in trying to please anybody except myself with my stories. Because the institutions I’m trying to please don’t actually care at the end of the day.
Even if you and your work do manage to get past acquisitions, that’s not the end of it. Anything could still happen. Your editor who was so enthusiastic about you might leave, and/or your imprint could close like Inkyard did. Or maybe other things happen that majorly affect you, like, your marketing/publicity budget might suck. Your book might tank. It might be received badly. The marketing trends could change and suddenly your book is Out of Fashion before it’s even printed. Or things could go bottoms up at your publisher—for whatever reason, things happen—and your book never even gets printed at all.
And here’s the thing: even if you write books that are easier sells, those risks still exist. There are no guarantees. Which is why, each time I feel the pressure to bend my stories into something else, I try to remember that. If I lost it all, would I regret not just writing the book the way I wanted to in the first place?
I find posing that question offers a significant amount of clarity.
And that’s the key, I think: figuring out where that line is for yourself, between the freedom you want for your art, and the realities of the industry we have entered. Trad pub is a business and you have to play the game to whatever extent you can stomach. You don't know whether that will pay off or not. Some people have to write to market since writing is their main job, so they're constantly playing this game, and that's totally okay too. But if you're more like me, that's not the case. If you're like me, you're thinking, okay, so publishing is fickle, trends are unpredictable, and I don’t control any of it. That is either horrifying or... incredibly freeing.
For me it means this: write the books you want to write. Don’t compromise on the stories of your heart. It’s you who has to go to sleep every night for the rest of your life knowing you wrote it. It’s your name on the cover. It’s your life’s work. Your legacy.
Life Doesn’t Change After You’re Published, and other kinda-truths
It’s been one entire year since my debut novel, TJ POWAR HAS SOMETHING TO PROVE, was published on June 7, 2022. My little YA contemporary about a girl and her body hair, but also about so much else.
It sometimes feels like no time has passed at all—like just last week I was on my way to my little local book launch with friends. I remember that day so clearly. I got my hair (on my head, ha) and nails done for funsies, and my brother came to town for the launch. On our drive to the bookstore I was happy and excited, but also had jitters in my stomach because I wore a dress that ended just above my knees—with my very hairy legs exposed. Yes, this was despite not having removed my leg hair in years, and despite having worn shorts so many times in the interim without any discomfort. I knew why, of course: It was because now I was wearing an outfit typically very strongly associated with femininity (a dress) and somehow it felt like the two things couldn’t go together. I mused that here was further evidence that unlearning harmful things society had taught me was going to be a lifelong venture. Which was an interesting, amusing, and somewhat fitting realization to have on release day.
I still force myself into that discomfort often. In some ways, as I said to my audiobook narrator last year (Mayuri Bhandari, she’s amazing), I even feel some responsibility to do so. Whenever wonderful, open-minded readers say to me, “I didn’t even know brown girls grew that much hair,” I think to myself, well, then it’s even more important that I show them.
To not feel, as an artist, completely divorced from my own work once it was public was one of the many surprises of having a book out. People always say that life doesn’t drastically change once you have a book published; and that, I was prepared for. Frankly I was more than happy with that idea--I’d spent so much time on promo in the lead up that I was exhausted, and looked forward to a quiet post-release. I missed my writing.
But although there’s no magical life-changing switch, I’ve found that things have changed. Just slowly, and subtly, as satisfying and long-lasting change often is.
I’ve talked at length about how the content of the book changed me. But in a general sense, I can think of many things in my day-to-day life that have changed since being published. For example, having friends in real life snapping pics of my book at stores across the continent; having people in real life ask me about my writing (a bit of a horror really); being tagged in blog posts and Twitter threads where people talk about their favourite books; getting DMs from people gushing about the book; talking to teens as a published author about books; having readers stand in front of me and excitedly tell me all the things they loved about my book while I smile silently thinking is this real? Is this real?; the opportunities I’ve had to sit down with other authors and laugh and compare notes and realize hey, we’re all going through the same weird-ass publishing machine; being asked to blurb other authors’ books; walking into random bookstores and seeing a copy on the shelf; being invited for lit festivals and interviews and to give talks and such as an established author. But most of all, it’s in the simple joy of knowing, every day, I am a published author. That has changed me. It’s a new piece of my identity. Once upon a time, it was my wildest dream. It’s a special privilege to be able to say I’m now dreaming of new things.
So, if you’re one of the people who’ve read TJ POWAR HAS SOMETHING TO PROVE, thank you so much for giving my little book a chance. It’s been amazing to see its impact over this past year, and I can only hope it will reach even more readers as time goes on. And for everyone who’s asked me what’s next... I can’t wait to share. Eventually. ;)
Excited to announce I’ll be at the Festival of Literary Diversity in Brampton, Ontario this year! I’ve got two events brewing:
May 1, 2023 at 4pm EST: [VIRTUAL] WORKSHOP: Writing 101. I’ll be doing a workshop about my journey in traditional publishing and tips for those who are new to the industry or maybe just want to hear another person’s experience. I’ll be doing a bit of a presentation and then a Q&A at the end too! Official description: In this workshop designed for writers curious about the publishing process, Jesmeen Kaur Deo will provide insight on her personal publishing experience as a debut author moving from query to print.
May 4, 2023 at 10am EST [IN PERSON and VIRTUAL] PANEL: Great Escapes and Expectations. Official description: Being a teen can be tough. From managing the weight of expectations to dealing with big topics and world issues, it can feel like life is too big and too much to handle. In this panel designed just for students, four young adult authors discuss the ways reading and writing can be a tool for escape and entertainment, as well as a powerful tool to tackle everyday issues.
Note that this festival is ticketed; however, the virtual pass gets you in to watch lots of panels (20+, including both of mine) live or virtually anywhere in the world, whenever you want until June 7. And the in-person passes allow you to attend all the events both virtual and in-person. You can find passes through the links above.
I’m looking forward to being at the FOLD and seeing some authors I very much admire. Hope to meet some of you there too, in person or virtual!
Coming back to say: I had the most wonderful time!!
I was blown away by the attendance of my virtual publishing workshop. It was my first time doing such a talk and a lot of people seemed to find it useful, which made me happy because it’s quite hard to tell how a presentation is going to go over until it’s happened, lol. Huge thanks to Ardo Omer, FOLD kids coordinator, who moderated the workshop and Q&A afterwards!
And then it was a pleasure and honour to speak to an audience of high schoolers for the first time (!) with fellow authors Liselle Sambury and Kevin heronJones. This was my first time speaking to an audience of young adults and that was special in its own right. Also, it was my first time meeting Liselle and Kevin and they were both wonderful. Liselle was our moderator for the panel and came with really, really thoughtful questions. Never underestimate the power of an excellent moderator.
Over the course of the couple of days I was there (FOLD graciously hosted me! Thank you FOLD!), I got the chance to go to other events and chat with other artists too. It’s always a highlight coming to these in person events and getting to see other creators and learn about their own books and experiences. As someone who tends to be more of a solitary writer, it’s pretty rejuvenating too.
And by the way: You can still catch my events (and many more) virtually until June 7, from anywhere in the world, with a FOLD virtual ticket!
