This one hurt me to write sooo take that as u will💖
Heartbreak Accomplice //Jeff Wittek
You know you love someone when you allow them to get away with anything, even murder, homicide of your soul. The crime scene isn’t visibly messy, you only lose your smile for a split second, heart wrenching violently in your chest before Erin and Carly are calling you to come do their latest gossip video in the other room. The phone is locked, the screen has gone black and you can pretend you never saw anything for a little while.
It’s ironic, you make a great accomplice for the rest of that night, hours stretching torturously long, it makes you wonder if the compliance played an instrumental part in the way he has poisoned your veins.
You don’t ask him about it, don’t bring it up when Jeff gets you alone for a short minute in the hallway, or on the drive to your apartment or while the pair of you take Nerf and your own dog for a quick stroll.
Except your body speaks for itself, hand jerking away from the touch of his fingertips, breath shaky as your boyfriend leans down to kiss you, except it’s more harsh than husky. It sends Jeff’s mind spinning from the early hours of the afternoon.
‘Something is up, tell me what’s wrong…’ he finally finds the courage to ask, causing you to pause your routine by the sink. You grip onto it for strength, marble cold against your flushed skin. ‘Check my phone…’ your words confuse him, Jeff momentarily leaving to fetch the device you previously threw haphazardly on the bed.
The screen lights up, password already memorised by him, a secret mutually shared in assurance of the trust in your relationship, the memory makes tears sting behind your lashes. But you will not cry tonight. Not until he’s gone at least.
Murder is commonly a crime of passion, committed by a person close to the victim, Jeff never thought he’d be the one to pull the trigger, never on you, not on what the two of you have. ‘Where…when did you get this?’ he chokes out, eyes searching your empty ones for some clarification. You shrug, back leaning against the sink as he stands in the doorway to the bathroom, ‘Earlier today.’
‘You….Y/n I can explain-’ Jeff has never felt so terrified before, not during his multiple arrests or recoding stupidly reckless content for the vlogs. This…seeing his girlfriend unresponsive in the face of the messages and one particular photo, evidence of his infidelity, he’s losing you by the second.
You interrupt his explanation, ‘How the fuck are you going to explain why your mouth is sucking on some random girl’s neck in a picture no older than a month Jeff?!’ your voice breaks mid-sentence, heartbreak is a bitch, it will only allow you to put up a front of strength for so long.
‘I know you must hate me right now I-’ ‘I don’t hate you, I hate that after all this time after I have backed you through every fucking obstacle you’ve been LYING to my face. You’re trying to do it again right now!’ he’s not sure what to do, your hands erratically signalling for him to stay away when Jeff tries to take a step closer.
‘It didn’t mean anything doll, I swear I, you’re the one and only alright..’ his words frantic, hands reaching for your own but your body sinks to the ground instead. Jeff is quick to follow on his knees.
‘That’s a nice lie.’ you humour his speech. ‘I’ll do anything baby please’ he’s begging now, it doesn’t suit him you realise. ‘I promise it will never happen again, it was a mistake I need you to understand I love y-’ You finally burst at the seams, the illusion of indifference forgotten in favour of the fire that burns in your throat.
‘I don’t need or want anything, except for you to get the fuck out’ Jeff swallows, frozen by the volume of your voice and the look in your eyes, he’s never seen them filled with hatred before, fully convinced you weren’t capable of the feeling.
The fact it’s directed at him makes the reality crashing around your relationship all that much harder. The pain is dull at first, only in his stomach before it rapidly expands to every nerve in his body, heart thudding against his ribcage as if fighting to leap across and into your hands, he thinks you would only throw it away now.
Anything else he says falls on deaf ears, you see his mouth moving, hands flying around as if pleading & grabbing at your own, but the ringing in your mind overpowers any words that may come out. They don’t mean anything anymore anyway, every promise turned to lie, plans ruined & love poisoned by his drunk actions.
‘Just please…get out’ it’s a last ditch effort, a broken plea that leaves your mouth. He eventually does, you stare blankly at the tiles if only not to see his retreating back. The door eventually slams behind him somewhere in the house, it feels final.
Heartbreak isn’t pretty nor poetic, not when you wail an angry cry on the bathroom floor, tears blurring your vision until the sun comes back up. In the morning, you will be strong again, but for now, you allow yourself to feel the stitches coming undone around the life you’ve been building. The ruins will be your own to rebuild from.
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