the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be a part of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.
Btw I loooove starting a post like "also" "by the way" "and another thing" when there was fully no conversation or preceding thought. U will experience my posts en media res
Can we be nicer to people who are on the aro/ace spectrum who aren’t aroace please? Aroallos and alloaces and aplatonic folk and cupioromantics and those who want queerplatonic relationships and those who don’t and aros who date and aces who have sex and people who don’t fall on the “sex-favourable to sex-repulsed” line because they feel like it doesn’t describe them well enough and greyromantics and demisexuals and those in polycules and selfshipping communities and those who fight for aro/ace visibility and those who don’t and those who haven’t fully come to terms with their identity yet and this community is such a beautiful place can we see it beyond “uwu innocent aroace doesn’t know what sex is” please god I am begging you
I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.
(Prefacing by saying that I am not deaf or part of the deaf community. I've been attempting to learn bits and pieces about deaf culture, and basic ASL, for a couple of years now tho)
I cannot stop thinking about a production of Next To Normal with a deaf Natalie.
I've been seeing a ton of clips from shows where they have deaf actors involved and (usually, in the one's i've seen) there's a separate actor who is pretty much playing the Voice of that character. Sometimes they're on stage with the deaf actor, sometimes they're somewhere backstage singing the songs / saying the dialogue. Meanwhile the deaf actor on stage is using sign language the whole time. And it can add SO MANY LAYERS to the story!
Like IMAGINE
[in depth thoughts under the cut]
Natalie's deaf and communicates solely through ASL. The rest of the Goodman's know ASL and use it at home whenever Natalie's in the room (maybe signing and speaking at the same time. Which i think is called SimCom. Simultanious Communication? If thats wrong someone please let me know). Henry is learning ASL for Natalie, and his signing is very basic ASL 1 level at the start, but you see him get progressively better and better at it by the end.
Deaf Natalie, the whole rest of the Goodman family is hearing, Gabe was born hearing while Natalie was born deaf. It's another level of disconnection that Natalie feels from Diana and maybe she even thinks part of the distance is because of that difference.
(What she doesnt know, though, is that... Gabe is signing too. Because somewhere in the back of Diana's mind, there IS always a love for Natalie, but she doesnt show it outwardly in any way that Natalie can actually see or feel. On some level, Diana IS always concious of and including Natalie. She does care. But Natalie can't know that, because she knows her brother was born hearing, so in her mind why would her mother's hallucinations of him use sign language? It makes no sense).
(Maybe there could even be a point during Just Another Day, where Gabe starts out not signing, and Diana reminds him to sign. Because she's stuck in that hallucination of genuinely believing he's really there, and thats part of the Happy Family Delusion as a little domestic moment of essentially being like hey, be nice to your sister.)
Like i am telling you, go watch the proshot or listen to the album and just think about what every moment and song would be like if Natalie was deaf. Nothing in the script or the story has to change. The same exact moments and lyrics get SO DIFFERENT and SO LAYERED (and they're already so layered, so that's really saying something!!) if Natalie is deaf.
Like just to name a few:
Superboy and the Invisible Girl is self explanatory I think, like literally just listen to it or read through the lyrics with the concept in mind and it'll break your heart all over again.
Hey #1, the "Hey, Hey" lines from Henry are shown with Henry trying to get her attention and get her to look at him, so he can sign to her. And she keeps trying to ignore him and turn away, because she doesnt want to face him. Eventually he has to fully just cut in front of her and stand in her path just to get her to look.
Then Hey #2, when Henry gets upset about Natalie trying to push him away, he starts forgetting to sign (cause he's still learning, so whenever he signs he's actively thinking about it a lot, and when he's overwhelmed it slips his mind), and Natalie's "Hey, Hey" is Natalie trying to get him to look at her, and then the "Just shut up and listen" moment becomes LITERALLY Stop Talking, Look At Me, so she that can sign what she wants to sign.
(Also this one i honestly dont know if it would work / be ok, so if not please let me know. But i have this image in my head of Natalie spending the whole show up until Hey #2 fingerspelling Henry's name, and it isnt until the end of Hey #2 after he walks away when she signs "Goodbye, Henry" that she uses a sign name for him. Obviously idk what the sign name would be, cause i'm not deaf so i can't make one, but I think that could be a cute heartbreaking moment that is, again, super layered).
ALSO maybe after Diana loses her memory she forgets (some or most) sign language OR remembers the language and is confused why she knows it / understands Natalie's signing, but keeps forgetting to sign what she's saying when Natalie is around and Dan keeps having to remind her. UNTIL they get to Maybe, and Diana signs that song unprompted and back to her original level of fluency at the start of the show.
AND THATS JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD.
Seriously guys i'm not joking, literally this would be so amazing.
Henry, who can only sign a couple of things when he first shows up, like he’s just started learning ASL and can just about fingerspell his name when he introduces himself.
Henry, who starts using incrementally more and more signs throughout his interactions with Natalie (specifically their two conversations during My Psychopharmacologist And I. And the conversation leading up to Perfect For You).
Henry, who during Perfect For You is trying to sign with Natalie (Adding a layer of meaning to “I’m trying to tell you I love you.” As if he’s partly blaming his limited ASL for how hard it is to communicate his feelings to Natalie)
Henry, who on the line “I’ll make myself perfect for you” starts signing continuously through the song, even though he’s still learning so he doesn’t know every sign he needs and isn’t yet fluent. He makes an attempt to sign as much as he possibly can.
Henry, who messes up a sign when they’re outside the Goodman’s house and he’s asking if he can come in. And Natalie, who laughs and fixes the sign for him before she kisses him.
Henry, who by Act 2 is near fluent in ASL and never forgets to sign when talking to Natalie. Except the moment in Hey #2 when he gets upset when Natalie is trying to push him away, and she has to get him to look at her.
Henry, who during Hey #3, grabs Natalie’s hand when she’s panicking and starts signing one-handed while he’s calming her down because he doesn’t want to let go. And then uses the fact that they’re holding hands to twirl her (because it’s cute 🤷♀️) ❤️
Imagine the added layer of heartbreak if Diana getting back from the ECT is the first time (maybe ever, or at least since she was a little kid) that one of Natalie’s parents doesn’t sign with her, and Natalie has to lipread instead. Because Diana doesn’t remember Natalie, so she doesn’t remember how to communicate with Natalie.
(She still knows ASL. The language knowledge is somewhere in her brain. Enough that she understands Natalie’s signing, even if she’s confused as to how or why she knows it).
(Maybe Natalie even looks to Dan initially when she realized Diana isn’t going to sign, to see if he’ll interpret for her. But Dan is so focused on Diana that he doesn’t notice).
And the added layer to Natalie’s pain and anger during the whole “What a lovely cure. It’s a medical miracle.” Part. Because the treatment just took away Natalie’s one and only real connection with her mom on even the most basic level of communication, just having a shared language, which Natalie didn’t even fully realize meant so much to have because ASL was just so normal in their house her whole life.
And then in Better Than Before, Diana forgets to sign again when Natalie walks into the room, and Dan tries to subtly gesture to remind her to sign. And when Diana does sign, it’s stiff and kinda awkward because it doesn’t feel natural to her (unlike in Act 1 when signing was just second nature at that point).
(Prefacing by saying that I am not deaf or part of the deaf community. I've been attempting to learn bits and pieces about deaf culture, and basic ASL, for a couple of years now tho)
I cannot stop thinking about a production of Next To Normal with a deaf Natalie.
I've been seeing a ton of clips from shows where they have deaf actors involved and (usually, in the one's i've seen) there's a separate actor who is pretty much playing the Voice of that character. Sometimes they're on stage with the deaf actor, sometimes they're somewhere backstage singing the songs / saying the dialogue. Meanwhile the deaf actor on stage is using sign language the whole time. And it can add SO MANY LAYERS to the story!
Like IMAGINE
[in depth thoughts under the cut]
Natalie's deaf and communicates solely through ASL. The rest of the Goodman's know ASL and use it at home whenever Natalie's in the room (maybe signing and speaking at the same time. Which i think is called SimCom. Simultanious Communication? If thats wrong someone please let me know). Henry is learning ASL for Natalie, and his signing is very basic ASL 1 level at the start, but you see him get progressively better and better at it by the end.
Deaf Natalie, the whole rest of the Goodman family is hearing, Gabe was born hearing while Natalie was born deaf. It's another level of disconnection that Natalie feels from Diana and maybe she even thinks part of the distance is because of that difference.
(What she doesnt know, though, is that... Gabe is signing too. Because somewhere in the back of Diana's mind, there IS always a love for Natalie, but she doesnt show it outwardly in any way that Natalie can actually see or feel. On some level, Diana IS always concious of and including Natalie. She does care. But Natalie can't know that, because she knows her brother was born hearing, so in her mind why would her mother's hallucinations of him use sign language? It makes no sense).
(Maybe there could even be a point during Just Another Day, where Gabe starts out not signing, and Diana reminds him to sign. Because she's stuck in that hallucination of genuinely believing he's really there, and thats part of the Happy Family Delusion as a little domestic moment of essentially being like hey, be nice to your sister.)
Like i am telling you, go watch the proshot or listen to the album and just think about what every moment and song would be like if Natalie was deaf. Nothing in the script or the story has to change. The same exact moments and lyrics get SO DIFFERENT and SO LAYERED (and they're already so layered, so that's really saying something!!) if Natalie is deaf.
Like just to name a few:
Superboy and the Invisible Girl is self explanatory I think, like literally just listen to it or read through the lyrics with the concept in mind and it'll break your heart all over again.
Hey #1, the "Hey, Hey" lines from Henry are shown with Henry trying to get her attention and get her to look at him, so he can sign to her. And she keeps trying to ignore him and turn away, because she doesnt want to face him. Eventually he has to fully just cut in front of her and stand in her path just to get her to look.
Then Hey #2, when Henry gets upset about Natalie trying to push him away, he starts forgetting to sign (cause he's still learning, so whenever he signs he's actively thinking about it a lot, and when he's overwhelmed it slips his mind), and Natalie's "Hey, Hey" is Natalie trying to get him to look at her, and then the "Just shut up and listen" moment becomes LITERALLY Stop Talking, Look At Me, so she that can sign what she wants to sign.
(Also this one i honestly dont know if it would work / be ok, so if not please let me know. But i have this image in my head of Natalie spending the whole show up until Hey #2 fingerspelling Henry's name, and it isnt until the end of Hey #2 after he walks away when she signs "Goodbye, Henry" that she uses a sign name for him. Obviously idk what the sign name would be, cause i'm not deaf so i can't make one, but I think that could be a cute heartbreaking moment that is, again, super layered).
ALSO maybe after Diana loses her memory she forgets (some or most) sign language OR remembers the language and is confused why she knows it / understands Natalie's signing, but keeps forgetting to sign what she's saying when Natalie is around and Dan keeps having to remind her. UNTIL they get to Maybe, and Diana signs that song unprompted and back to her original level of fluency at the start of the show.
AND THATS JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD.
Seriously guys i'm not joking, literally this would be so amazing.
Henry, who can only sign a couple of things when he first shows up, like he’s just started learning ASL and can just about fingerspell his name when he introduces himself.
Henry, who starts using incrementally more and more signs throughout his interactions with Natalie (specifically their two conversations during My Psychopharmacologist And I. And the conversation leading up to Perfect For You).
Henry, who during Perfect For You is trying to sign with Natalie (Adding a layer of meaning to “I’m trying to tell you I love you.” As if he’s partly blaming his limited ASL for how hard it is to communicate his feelings to Natalie)
Henry, who on the line “I’ll make myself perfect for you” starts signing continuously through the song, even though he’s still learning so he doesn’t know every sign he needs and isn’t yet fluent. He makes an attempt to sign as much as he possibly can.
Henry, who messes up a sign when they’re outside the Goodman’s house and he’s asking if he can come in. And Natalie, who laughs and fixes the sign for him before she kisses him.
Henry, who by Act 2 is near fluent in ASL and never forgets to sign when talking to Natalie. Except the moment in Hey #2 when he gets upset when Natalie is trying to push him away, and she has to get him to look at her.
Henry, who during Hey #3, grabs Natalie’s hand when she’s panicking and starts signing one-handed while he’s calming her down because he doesn’t want to let go. And then uses the fact that they’re holding hands to twirl her (because it’s cute 🤷♀️) ❤️
(Prefacing by saying that I am not deaf or part of the deaf community. I've been attempting to learn bits and pieces about deaf culture, and basic ASL, for a couple of years now tho)
I cannot stop thinking about a production of Next To Normal with a deaf Natalie.
I've been seeing a ton of clips from shows where they have deaf actors involved and (usually, in the one's i've seen) there's a separate actor who is pretty much playing the Voice of that character. Sometimes they're on stage with the deaf actor, sometimes they're somewhere backstage singing the songs / saying the dialogue. Meanwhile the deaf actor on stage is using sign language the whole time. And it can add SO MANY LAYERS to the story!
Like IMAGINE
[in depth thoughts under the cut]
Natalie's deaf and communicates solely through ASL. The rest of the Goodman's know ASL and use it at home whenever Natalie's in the room (maybe signing and speaking at the same time. Which i think is called SimCom. Simultanious Communication? If thats wrong someone please let me know). Henry is learning ASL for Natalie, and his signing is very basic ASL 1 level at the start, but you see him get progressively better and better at it by the end.
Deaf Natalie, the whole rest of the Goodman family is hearing, Gabe was born hearing while Natalie was born deaf. It's another level of disconnection that Natalie feels from Diana and maybe she even thinks part of the distance is because of that difference.
(What she doesnt know, though, is that... Gabe is signing too. Because somewhere in the back of Diana's mind, there IS always a love for Natalie, but she doesnt show it outwardly in any way that Natalie can actually see or feel. On some level, Diana IS always concious of and including Natalie. She does care. But Natalie can't know that, because she knows her brother was born hearing, so in her mind why would her mother's hallucinations of him use sign language? It makes no sense).
(Maybe there could even be a point during Just Another Day, where Gabe starts out not signing, and Diana reminds him to sign. Because she's stuck in that hallucination of genuinely believing he's really there, and thats part of the Happy Family Delusion as a little domestic moment of essentially being like hey, be nice to your sister.)
Like i am telling you, go watch the proshot or listen to the album and just think about what every moment and song would be like if Natalie was deaf. Nothing in the script or the story has to change. The same exact moments and lyrics get SO DIFFERENT and SO LAYERED (and they're already so layered, so that's really saying something!!) if Natalie is deaf.
Like just to name a few:
Superboy and the Invisible Girl is self explanatory I think, like literally just listen to it or read through the lyrics with the concept in mind and it'll break your heart all over again.
Hey #1, the "Hey, Hey" lines from Henry are shown with Henry trying to get her attention and get her to look at him, so he can sign to her. And she keeps trying to ignore him and turn away, because she doesnt want to face him. Eventually he has to fully just cut in front of her and stand in her path just to get her to look.
Then Hey #2, when Henry gets upset about Natalie trying to push him away, he starts forgetting to sign (cause he's still learning, so whenever he signs he's actively thinking about it a lot, and when he's overwhelmed it slips his mind), and Natalie's "Hey, Hey" is Natalie trying to get him to look at her, and then the "Just shut up and listen" moment becomes LITERALLY Stop Talking, Look At Me, so she that can sign what she wants to sign.
(Also this one i honestly dont know if it would work / be ok, so if not please let me know. But i have this image in my head of Natalie spending the whole show up until Hey #2 fingerspelling Henry's name, and it isnt until the end of Hey #2 after he walks away when she signs "Goodbye, Henry" that she uses a sign name for him. Obviously idk what the sign name would be, cause i'm not deaf so i can't make one, but I think that could be a cute heartbreaking moment that is, again, super layered).
ALSO maybe after Diana loses her memory she forgets (some or most) sign language OR remembers the language and is confused why she knows it / understands Natalie's signing, but keeps forgetting to sign what she's saying when Natalie is around and Dan keeps having to remind her. UNTIL they get to Maybe, and Diana signs that song unprompted and back to her original level of fluency at the start of the show.
AND THATS JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD.
Seriously guys i'm not joking, literally this would be so amazing.
Guys someone send help. I had nothing to do today, so I was just going around my house doing random stuff. And I was pacing the whole time and listening to music super loud, cause i'm autistic and those are like my most common stims when i'm just kind of idle and not doing shit. (Fun fact about autism, or at least my autism, sometimes when you're stimming and especially if you're focused on other things you're brain just... Wont process pain cues? For some reason? idk). So i've been pacing damn near non-stop for over ten hours. My feet are fucking KILLING ME. I literally just stopped and my brain was like "Oh you're done? Awesome. By the way... That's painful." Like bitch you could have told me a couple HOURS ago!
I think sometimes we get too caught up in world of a story to remember what it's really about- of course Orpheus fails because no one can bring the dead back to life. of course Orpheus looks back because that's what grieving is- looking back at someone you can't be with anymore, looking back and losing them again and again.
'the moon is lonely because no one is awake when she is' the moon has hundredsofmillions of people with sleep disorders, partygoers, people with weird work schedules, people with new babies, people who have planned hangouts with friends in another timezone, people who just got into a new thing, etc etc etc etc to hang with every night ..
Jerk-bitch-idjit-assbutt @jerk-bitch-idjit-assbutt - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
