This year has definitely been a trying one. I got into medium format and spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I wanted to use it. I wasn’t able to put out as much work as I would of liked due to financial reasons and I went back to school full time this year for the first time since I left New York in 2011. I’m now learning more about the tv and film industry and am loving every minute of it. It’s a field I plan on entering once I’m finally finished school. I’ve been giving it 100% of my time and energy. It’s fresh and exciting for me, which I’m happy about.
There have been plenty of times this year where I’ve wanted to put my cameras down and just stop. What I kinda realized though is that I needed to stop caring about “the business” of photography and go relearn how to take photographs for myself and not for editors, art school pals, blogs or some notes. Instagram has helped on that end, it’s been a welcomed release.
And as much as I want to put my cameras down, that’s just not going to happen. I love photography too much to ever stop. This was the first year I was able to see my work published in an American magazine. The thrill of going to a store and picking up a magazine that I’ve been admiring for forever and seeing my work inside was something that I’d been dreaming of since I can remember! Definitely was a cool experience and I look forward to having that experience again at some point.
Money plays a big part in all of this too. I need it to shoot, plain and simple. It doesn’t help that most, not all, but most of the editorial world doesn’t care to pay photographers anything unless you’re a big name, which I’m ways away from being. It's ironic, I can only shoot gigs when I have money to go up and shoot them. I’ve had to turn down some awesome stuff only because I didn’t have the money to do it at the time. And it’s not like I don't work, I do, but there are other things that I have to spend my money on unfortunately. I think the editorial world needs to start valuing photographers, their time, and work again. But...that's a whole other post!
Anyways, the moral of this post was just for me to vent about this huge struggle I had and am still figuring out. I’ve always wanted to blog about it throughout the year but I felt like it wasn’t necessary. I guess I forgot that this is my blog and I can post and say whatever I’d like.
I most likely won’t be making tons of new work this upcoming year, but that’s okay. As long as I don’t give up, I’m good. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m only 22 and I’m far from being done. I have time. Plenty of it.
Thanks for your support this year Tumblr, I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and have an amazing 2014!
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