Jessimae Peluso

insecure narcissist

[sighsomemore]

“How to Get Guys to Stop Staring at Your Boobs” by Jessimae Peluso.

For 50shadesofweasley

[jessimaepeluso]

STAND UP TOUR DATES: Pittsburgh Improv Oct 15-17, DC Improv Oct 23-25, Gotham Comedy Club Nov 19-22, Syracuse Funny Bone Nov 25-29. Come. See. Me. 💋💥

[jessimaepeluso]

Sharp Tongue #17 is up with real life serial killer @owenbenjam -He describes his murderous ways with comedic precision. We discuss sexpectations in relationships and how bad ass @RhondaRousey is. Subscribe! 🔪👅 #SharpTonguePodcast on iTunes & Stitcher

[jessimaepeluso]

My Mother and I, through space and time.

[jessimaepeluso]

HARTFORD, CT! I'm gonna be on stage in your town at The Funny Bone comedy club THIS Friday-Sunday. Get tickets at Jessimae.com #JessAmericaTour #FunnyBoneCT

[jessimaepeluso]

BREA, CA! I'm performing at @BreaImprov TONIGHT thru Sunday! Get your tickets at MessAmericaTour.com #MessAmericaTour 👸🇺🇸 also featuring @marcellacomedy & @LeoFlowers2000

[jessimaepeluso]

Come see me at @SanJoseImprov tonight & tomorrow 2 shows 730&10 #MeBeinABasicBitch #BitchesLoveTakingPicsOfThemJumping #BasicBitchShit #MadBasic #ThatsSoRaven #NoThatsSoBasic #BasicBitchesBeLikeImSoRavenRightNow #BasicBitchesMakeMeWannaJumpJump #YesThatWasAKrisKrossReference #SanJoseImprov #MessAmericaTour

[jessimaepeluso]

Another day at the orifice. #MarriedAtFirstSight #ExcuseMeSir #nahhh #1980sWeddingDress #MadCute #ThisGuyWantedToPunchMeInDaFace #IWasSweatingFromMyLabiaUnderThere #LetsBoneUnderTheStreetLights

[jessimaepeluso]

Check out my book reviews in July's issue of @SelfMagazine !! #ICanReadAndWrite #ThisIsntJustAPrettyFace #ThisFaceIsntPrettyWithout22lbsOfMakeup #SittinAloneInTheAirport #SelfMag #Yay #LetsSnugsAndReadBooksAllSummer (at DFW International Airport - Terminal E - Virgin America!!)

[jessimaepeluso]

TAMPA, FL - Come see me & @carlyaquilino perform LIVE this Thursday-Sunday at The @TampaImprov. #LoveIsntRealTour #ImAPrincessMuthaFucka #WhyWeStuckInPlasticPrisonsTho #WheresMyPrince #ComeLaugh #IllHugTheShitOutOfYou #MadCute #NoFxcksGiven

[jessimaepeluso]

TAMPA, FL- come see me and my lil luvah @carlyaquilino perform LIVE next Thurs-Sun at @TampaImprov. #WemadCute #OrNah #LiveComedyShow #HoldMe #LoveIsntRealTour #FartClouds #IWouldLoveAWaffleRightNow #NoFxcksGiven

[jessimaepeluso]

CHICAGO! See me perform live at Zanies Comedy Club May 8-10. Get tickets at Chicago.zanies.com #DeepDish #Oprah #DaBears #ComedyIsFun #SoIsTequila #HoldMe #MadCute #Trollop

[jessimaepeluso]

I hope you liked the 2928289 pictures of John Stamos I sent you on twitter...(; (from @kileypreusch)

They're amazing!! Send them to my email [email protected]. Xxxo

[jessimaepeluso]

LONG ISLAND! I'm coming to your town THIS Fri&Sat at the Brokerage Comedy Club! Call 516-781-LAFF for tickets! I'll be hanging out after show to meet you all! Xoxo #BrokerageComedyClub #StrongIsland #GirlCode

[jessimaepeluso]

Will you be in Chicago anytime soon?!?!

Chicago for sure!! Jan 16-18 at zanies

[jessimaepeluso]

Who's coming to see me tonight at @LevityLive in West Nyack?7:30 show. I'll be wearing clean underwear...maybe. TKT link: http://say.ly/WWW6Pur

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[jessimaepeluso]

.@SecretDeodorant sent me THE best gifts: Chocolates, deodorant, boyfriend pillow&a poster of MY boyfriend @johnstamos !! #Stamos #Secret #GirlCode #ThankYou