drops of jupiter

[gabescrayons]

in memory of my childhood fish tank lamp

[anasabdin]

After the sun

[cyberxbattalion]

[cyberxbattalion]

[jovianjul]

god if the world felt what i felt

maybe they’d understand why i hate myself a little

more each day,

JONY!!!

i can’t even say your name without drowning jonathan….. fuck u warned me about days like this but god damn it. i’m stubborn. i’ll never find a love like you.

but all the love i know, all the love you have taught me and gave me.. im instilling it in him jony it was such an honor to have you to love you jony… you were too good for me how foolish i was to thinking i was the prize when clearly it was always you.

i’ll never be able to fill this void u left me and it’s fucking sickening because i birthed a life and he couldn’t even save me it was too fucking late and how do you tell a fuckin sweet ass 3 year old that??? how can i tell him that i’m fucking broken and no longer want to be human? i’m not scared i never cared but he is so precious how could i leave him???? i hate myself i’d end it all at jonys grave but this other human experience is under my wing???! santana coreylee u keep me down to earth there is no me without you. your existence holds so much weight you were destined for greatness… te amo cariño amor.

xxx littlesunn // mamí momma xx

[jovianjul]

what i would do to just feel your skin…..

[jovianjul]

jonathan alejandro loya, i will love you forever and miss you until the day that i leave this planet and join u on the astral realm.

our life was never supposed to be this way.. i go to where you lay and, and try to find some peace. my mind is scattered, i can never focus on one thought when i’m around you so at times i sit in silence. other times vary, one experience is my face begins to melt away with tears of acid; my eyes stay swollen for the night and morning after, i can’t catch my breath the air becomes so thick and heavy i can’t catch my breath.. my soul yearns for you jony i sit there and cry for yours and fear that you are no longer here with me that you no longer want to see me and i get it i wouldn’t want to see me either… but in this life time that i am living without you i am learning to forgive you and forgive myself. & you promised me, i have every time you promised me that you would wait for me you would be there waiting for me. fuck! this hurts so badly. jony you prepped me for this many times but i can not deal with this properly!! i told you that this would ruin me and i’m fucking ruined! i’m still so in love with you i would end my life just to see you again, i envy the earth that wraps itself around you!!! i can see it i can picture how i’d go, and it would all lead back to where you lay. us together again.

but i can’t. i can’t leave my son. he needs me. he needed me just as you once did. i can’t leave him, the way he looks at me and the way he holds my face when he’s sleepy. it’s so pure jom.

even though your passing ruined me it taught me a lot and reminded me of the life we envisioned for us, the morals and values and traditions and love we had and wanted. my son is going to be an amazing, beautiful man because of the love you gave me… because of the love you taught me! if it weren’t for you, i don’t think i would’ve known what love was and i thank you for that. i look for you everywhere i go jony, in everyone i meet. this was truly ours, no one could ever compare to you and it’s the tragic truth i believe.. you will always have my heart, until we meet again jomyjomt. my cosmic love.

-jul

[bearingwitness]

Notebooks 1951-1959 by Albert Camus // The Knight of the Flowers (detail) by Georges Rochegrosse // The Way to Keep Going in Antarctica by Bernadette Mayer // Little Weirds by Jenny Slate // Nausea by Jean-Paul Sartre // The Fairy Glen by Steve Gill // The Carrying by Ada Limón // All the Gay Saints by Kayleb Rae Candrilli // Mirrors X by Nikki Giovanni // The Poet by Reynier Llanes // The Wanderings of Oisin by W.B Yeats // Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke // Letter to Gustave Flaubert X by George Sand // When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities by Chen Chen // Waterlilies by Claude Monet

[metamorphesque]

musings on august        

Keep reading

[br1sery]

I can’t wait to get my nails done 💕

idk which one to pick.

[jovianjul]

how to feel, why do i feel nothing but then everything?????

how to feel, how to feel????

i need to learn compassion i need to learn how to be a real human. i feel like i am not real like i shouldn’t exist.. and not like want to die i just don’t really want or know how to exist and be normal. damaged??? no just never had proper guidance i’m lost in way? idk

[natureandbeauty]

[hairstylesbeauty]

[sk-lumen]

Working with hands is always a delight. There is something exquisitely romantic about the secret intimacy of joined hands. // Lumen’s pocket sketchbook, ‘19.

[halfsad-deactivated20180421]

[sapphiredarkhouse]

Witchcraft 👏 Needs 👏 A 👏 LOT 👏 Of 👏 Research👏

🔮What are our topics of research?

-History 🗿

-Culture 🌏

-Logic 📖

-Laws of Physics 🎢

-Botany 🍃

-Geology ⛰

-Psychology 🗣

-Astronomy 🌌

-Culinary Arts 🍲

-Meteorology 🌧

-ARTS 🎨

-LITERATURE 📚

-Information Technology 💻

-HECK EVEN MEDICINE ⚕⚚

So don’t you dare tell us that we’re not based on facts. That the craft is anything but logical.

Some of us stay up at 4 am thinking about the laws of Logic and Physics that coincide with meteorology, astronomy, and Medicine. (Me.)

Don’t. You. Dare.

So everyone starting out, everyone doing it for years, everyone who’s testing the waters:

You’re doing great, sweetie~! ❤❤

[awaveringheart]

Peace be upon you, around you, and most importantly within you