JusQue🤷🏽‍♀️ @jusque - Tumblr Blog

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Sometimes "DEPRESSION"

Sometimes I feel like my only option is death

I don't want to kill myself I just don't care to exist

No one has to do anything to me I just get in this mood where I don't necessarily feel here ya know

I could easily talk to someone but once their gone the mood is back

Some are controllable while most I can never escape

I feel like I'm running I'm hydrated but I just can't breathe

No one is chasing me but yet there are footsteps behind me

Am I chasing myself? Am I trying to harm myself or help myself?

It's so confusing because I have no idea

Depression oh depression this power you have over me I can no longer tolerate

But I'm still living trying to figure how to get away from you

I wanna be great that's all I've ever wanted

Now I'm in my thirties still battling and I just don't want to fight anymore

It's crazy because I'm so happy literally all the time but you still find your way to make me cry

Sometimes I'm crying and I have no idea why

I know that's you "DEPRESSION"

#depression #depressionisreal #bipolar #loveyourself #liveyourlife #battlesoflife #happiness

Time!

Amen… Thank you God for all you have done, are doing, and going to do. I am ready. I woke up this morning and my soul was on fire. I could feel the anger from the person I am; the person I chose long ago to be. From all the pain I consumed, the tears of grief, and the ugliness from down under. No not him. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. I am talking about that pain I could feel whenever I was doing right. I know it’s weird but that was an un-bearing pain that I couldn’t explain if I stared at it face to face. I am talking about that pain you feel you know what’s right, but you still do what’s wrong. If you have never felt that pain I am here to let you know it hurts worse than any surgical procedure, any toothache, any death, I could go on and on. The Pain of Denial is what I like to call it. Afraid to be who you need to be. This may be a little off topic, but this is related to the topic I am speaking upon. As I was sitting thinking about my life I realized how much time I have invested in being unhappy. I realized that there was a time for them but now I need a time for me. My mother would always tell me growing up “Quala there’s a time and place for everything; don’t miss your time because you deciding to be in the wrong place”. I don’t think no one could ever know how angry it made me every single time she would say that to me. It wasn’t because she was wrong about it; it was because I couldn’t understand what she was trying to say to me. Then I grew up and started to realize “There’s a time and place for everything. Not only physically but mentally; not just mentally but psychologically; not just psychologically but also theoretically and the list goes on. I started to realize how much I missed out on being in the wrong place in my life.

kushandwizdom

jusque

I truly hope so!

Get a Move on it...

I am tired of starting and stopping

I want so much for my life

I always have

Sometimes I cry because I know what I’m capable of

I wonder why I’m not doing what I’m destined to do

The confusion with life bothers me

I feel alone

I feel as if it’s just me

And it is in my world

In my world it is just me

I like it that way

No pain and so much to gain

But where do I start??

When do I move???

How do I make it happen????

By standing Quala and believing

I think it’s hard for me because everything I did as a kid was stupid

Without my mom sitting here judging me it’s hard to move

Seemed she knew what was best

Now that she’s gone I find myself still living for her

What have you done?

I’m working a 9-5 and miserable as ever

My business has been in planning for the past years

When does it get up and walk away from the paper?

When does it move??

kushandwizdom

Why are we angry at situations we’re in control of?

I don’t think it’s because we can’t control certain situations but because we refuse to do so. Let’s not love someone so much that it’s harmful to us and distructive to everything around us. Let’s not have love that makes us hate one another because we’d rather be the topic instead of the solution. Let’s learn to love sincerely that way our love for one another does not go in vain. Let’s be real with the way that we feel towards one another so that no one is confused about what it may be.

#love #happiness