JustBornDead @justborndead - Tumblr Blog

When I got to roster boy’s house today, he walked me in from my car (like he usually does), and I hadn’t even got 3 steps inside the house before he stopped me and pulled my dress off over my head. He continued to strip off my bra and my underwear. When he’d told me his roommates were all going to be gone tonight, I was expecting to be naked most of the night. What I wasn’t expecting was what he told me to do next: “Start cleaning the kitchen.” Although in the past he’s had me clean for a couple reasons, like washing the dishes because he said if I did he wouldn’t fuck my ass for a week, he’s never just commanded me to clean for no reason. I stared at him blankly until he pushed me towards the kitchen. I walked in and looked around, not really sure what to do. I glanced out the window, and noticed if one of the neighbors happened to step outside and look over, they’d be able to see my completely naked top half over the kitchen counter, which faces the window. I walked back towards roster boy and told him the neighbors were going to see me. When he got up and pushed me back into the kitchen, I dropped onto the floor and sat down, emphasizing my point that I thought they were going to see me. He walked out of the room a second, and when he walked back in, he threw my bra into my lap.

“Here. This is all you get to wear.” I gratefully put it on and stood back up. He told me to start picking up cans, trash, and dishes, and I did. As I was picking up, he started cooking. Occasionally, he’d come into the living room where I was gathering cans, and tell me to spread my legs, and he would feel me and rub my clit, before smacking my ass and telling me to keep cleaning.

At one point while I threw away some pieces of trash in the kitchen, roster boy asked to make sure I liked tea. I told him I did, and carried on cleaning. A few minutes later when I came back in, he was pouring tea into a bowl on the ground.

“Drink it,” he told me, pointing to the bowl. I stared at him incredulously, and finally he grabbed the back of my neck and pushed me down. I put off drinking it as long as I could, until I knew I risked getting beat. Finally, I got down on my hands and knees, leaned over the bowl, and began drinking like an animal. I could feel him watching me as he leaned against the counter and drank his tea, and at one point I was sure he was videotaping. Then he stepped behind me, and guided my ass up into the air. He began rubbing my clit, and sliding a finger in and out of my ass. I pulled my head back and whimpered, but he gently pushed my head back down. Every time I stopped, he would tell me to keep drinking. The farther down in the bowl I got, the harder it was to keep my nose and chin (and the rest of my face in general) out of the bowl, and I could feel drips of tea all over my face. Finally, he told me to stop drinking, and save the rest to have with my food. In the meantime, I could keep cleaning. I walked out of the kitchen again, and when I came back, sure enough, he set a bowl of spaghetti next to my bowl of tea. “Go ahead,” he said. Once again, I tried my best to push off getting back on the ground, but a little more roughly this time, he pushed me down onto my hands and knees. I began to eat, and at first, did okay staying kind of clean. At the top of the pile, I could carefully pick some off the top. When the bowl started getting slightly emptier though, I had no option but to get some of it on my face. Once again, roster boy watched. Eventually, he wasn’t satisfied with my eating methods, and he walked up behind me to push my face all the way into the bowl. I could feel sauce in my nose and on my eyelids and in my hair. He walked back to his spot and told me to keep eating. I told him I was full, mainly because I wanted to be done. I kept my head down with my face close to the bowl, so he couldn’t see how ridiculous I looked. He told me too bad, and to keep eating. After a minute, he told me to show him my face. Again, I could feel he was recording me. Reluctantly, I lifted my head, but kept my eyes close so I wouldn’t have to look at him. I must have been sufficiently messy for him, because he responded, “Good. Keep eating.” Roster boy stepped out of the kitchen for a minute, and when he came back, I finally finished my spaghetti. He pulled me to my feet and pushed me up the stairs. As I walked up, my stomach dropped when I heard the bathtub filing.

When we got into the bathroom, he didn’t push me towards the bathtub, but to the mirror. He told me to look at myself. I really was a disgusting mess. Somehow, more makeup than I even remembered putting on was all under my eyes, and there was red sauce and chunks of food all over, from my chin to my eyes. He told me what a dirty, worthless slut I am, and told me to say it.

“I’m a dirty, worthless slut,” I mumbled, barely audible.

“Louder,” he replied. “And look at yourself while you say it.” I looked up at myself for a brief second, but lowered my eyes again when I repeated myself, at about the same level. “I said look at yourself. Make eye contact with yourself and yell it.” I looked myself in the eyes in the mirror, and told myself I was a dirty, worthless slut again. Although I didn’t yell it, roster boy seemed satisfied, and told me to suck his dick. As I started to blow him, he began to spit on my face. I continued, and he continued to spit on my face, in my hair, on my chest. He spit into his hands and rubbed it on my face. Then, he cleared his throat and spit it onto his dick, and told me to lick it off. I protested. He grabbed my hair and pulled me over to the toilet.

“Either lick it off or I’m putting your head under water in the toilet.” I threw a fit, and struggled and whined, but when he began to count down from three, and push me towards the toilet, I quickly got up and licked off his dick, trying not to gag as I did so.

Then, he lead me over to the bathtub, and had me lean over it. He pushed my head under water for a few seconds, and I immediately knew I couldn’t handle it. I pushed myself out of the water and gasped for air, even though I’d only been under for a couple seconds. He tried a couple more times, but each time I pushed myself up out of the water again. Finally, he told me to put my hands behind my back, so I’d have no way to push myself up. I pleaded with him and tried to bargain that I’d put one arm behind my back, but he told me I had to try it, and to make fists, so if I needed to safeword I could flatten my hand and he’d know. I tried once, but ended up pulling my arms away and pushing myself out of the water. He asked me if I wanted to try anymore and I said no, so he started fucking me instead, while I was still leaned over the bathtub. Then, he pulled out of my cunt and tried to push into my ass. I cried out, but he told me to relax, and slowly tried to push in. I begged him to stop and pulled away from him, so he told me he’d only go back to fucking my cunt if I fingered my asshole as he did. I reached back with one hand to play with my asshole, and he told me to use the other hand to play with my clit. I did as I was told, but he decided he still wanted to fuck my ass. As he went to push my hand I way, I whined about how he said he would fuck my cunt if I played with my ass and tried to bargain with him more, but bargaining never really works with roster boy. He asked me if I wanted him to go and get lube, and I told him no, thinking that if I said yes it would solidify the fact that he was about to fuck my ass.

“Well I either go get lube or fuck your ass without it,” he said, and I caved and said to get the lube. He got up to go get it, and told me to drown myself while he was gone. I put my head underwater for as long as I could force myself to at a time, but got paranoid I was going to be underwater when he came back and not hear him come up behind me. Thankfully, though, I heard his footsteps as he returned.

After lubing me up, he slowly slid a finger inside of me. I asked him if I could touch myself, and he told me not yet, as he slid another finger inside. I whimpered, and he pulled his fingers out and said now I could. As I began to rub my clit, I felt the head of his dick press up against my ass. I braced myself mentally, while attempting to relax my body as much as possible, and he pushed into me. Once again, I questioned how anyone could say lube makes anal not hurt, as it felt like I was tearing open. He was slow and gentle, and tried to encourage me to relax, but it still took a few minutes for it not to hurt unbearably. He grabbed my hair and yanked my head back, assuring me that pulling my hair would distract me from my ass. Then he told me to stand up, and asked if I wanted to see myself. He turned me so I was facing the mirror and had me bend over the sink. The spaghetti was off my face, but there was still makeup smudged under my eyes, and my hair was sopping wet. I looked awful, but I loved being able to see him use me. He continued to pull my hair and slap my ass as he fucked me, and I kept rubbing my clit, trying to distract myself. Finally, he pulled me away from the sink and told me to get on my knees in front of the toilet. I whimpered as I did what I was told. He continued to fuck my ass as he told me to lick the toilet seat. I did, trying to impress him so hopefully we’d be done as soon as possible. He told me to put my head in the toilet and I refused. He tried a couple times, then finally lifted the toilet seat and said I could either put my head in the toilet or lick the toilet rim itself. The toilet rim was filthy, and I started to cry and said I’d put my head in the toilet. He put the seat back down, and pushed my head into the toilet, still while fucking my ass. He told me to drink the water, and that he wanted to hear me licking it. I cried harder, but did as I was told. When I stopped, he’d tell me to keep licking the water or he’d make me drink it all with a straw, and I kept going. Eventually, though, he got distracted, and I was relieved to be able to pull my head out and rest it on the toilet seat as he fucked me. He told me we could be done when I came, and I rubbed my clit greedily, trying to push myself over the edge as quick as possible. It seemed like forever, but finally I came. He continued to fuck me for a few more minutes, then pulled me off the toilet and told me to keep my ass up but lay my chest on the ground. I did as I was told, and he fucked my ass a little bit more, then slowly pulled out. As he stood up behind me, he spit on my back, and I curled up onto my knees, laying on the ground. I was exhausted but surprisingly felt fine. He let some of the cold water out of the bathtub and filled it with warm water, and told me to get in. He sat on the ledge of the bathtub and he adjusted the water, then asked if I wanted him to get in with me. I nodded, and we both sat in the bath and talked for quite a while, until I decided I wanted to shower off and actually wash my hair, and then we both dried off and put our clothes back on. *Disclaimer: everything mentioned is consensual, and I have a safeword and could have stopped at any time. Please don’t message my boyfriend or me and tell us our relationship is abusive because we’ll both just block you* @hockeyboyontheroster

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masters-adored-pet

How to get your Sub in subspace, a guide for beginners

Although everyone into the BDSM scene has heard of endorphins, actually very, very few people really understand what they are, how they work, what the “high” is all about and how one can correctly induce the body to produce them. This short primer will answer those questions, and serve as a guide for anyone topping another so that they may successfully send their bottom into a very deep endorphin stupor! (Also known as leaving them in a big puddle of quivering ecstasy!)

The endorphin high is caused by a bunch of natural, morphine-like chemicals the body pumps into your brain to reduce your sensitivity to pain (thus raising your pain threshold.) The fact that the body seems to release these endorphins in measured ‘loads’ is a key to understanding how to ‘play’ the body to produce these ‘loads’ and ‘release’ them into the body and brain region when the ‘load’ is ready. One has to keep in mind that another chemical – adrenalin – is also produced by the body in reaction to pain, and its behavior should be understood also. This is covered later more thoroughly in the section at the end on aftercare – which is a VERY essential element in guaranteeing the success of the effort, as you will see.

The endorphin ‘loads’ as they are available in the body are released in their entirety, and after a 'load’ is released, it takes the body about ten minutes to generate the chemicals for another one. After the body has been induced to release (or 'inject’) a 'load’ into the system, you must then continue stimulating the body for at least ten minutes in some manner before the body will be ready to release another one. This stimulation can be just about anything – sensation play, light paddling or flogging, light caning, etc. – and it does not have to be intense or even nearly match the intensity of stimulation that had caused the release of the last 'load.’

Once prepared, an increase in stimulation over a five minute span up to a measured 'climax’ will trigger the body to release the freshly prepared 'load’ (based upon the submissive’s current pain threshold, “measured” to push them over a new edge.)

So, armed with this information, what does a session look like from the top’s and bottom’s point of view? This should break it down for you.

When a scene first starts, there are no endorphins in the submissive, and even fairly light torment is very stingy, ouchy, and, well, painful! There is an endorphin reserve already in place that is awaiting release into one’s body in case of an emergency, and after just a few minutes of even relatively mild stimulation building to a mild climax, this reserve 'load’ is released, and suddenly the pain threshold clearly rises and the subject can easily tolerate what earlier may have been pushing their limits, making them jump around and squirm, for instance. This new, more pain tolerant state is Level One. There is no altered state of consciousness yet – but there is an increased pain threshold.

Once this has happened, for the top it’s basically just about treading water for ten minutes and doing anything that provides relatively light but constant stimulation to induce the bottom’s body to prepare/create their next 'load’ for release. This is a good time for sensation play, or light paddling, flogging or whipping – and since the only requirement is that it remain fairly constant stimulation, it is a chance for the top to relax for a bit, since the stimulation can be very mild and be easy and relaxing to apply during this time.

Once the ten minutes has passed, a build in intensity over a subsequent five minute period will excite the body to a peak, and a sudden 10–15 seconds or so of intense stimulation just beyond the person’s current pain threshold limit will trigger the body to eject its freshly made, current load into the bloodstream. Now the bottom will be at Level Two – with still no perceivable altered state of consciousness (beyond panting in relief that you, the top, have ceased with the intense bit!), but there is a considerable and noticeable leap in pain threshold now.

Following this, again, ten minutes of mild, easy stimulation to provoke the body into generating the next load as quickly as possible. Keep this well below the pain threshold you’ve now created, with just a little intense whack, etc. every so often, about a minute apart. This will keep the adrenalin build up to a minimum, for reasons explained later on. Take it easy, tops, relax, rest that arm and wrist a bit! Then, this relaxing ten minutes is followed with five minutes of building the intensity again to well above the previous level, as the bottom’s pain threshold is pretty high already now and they can take a lot more before the body interprets this as being 'in crisis’ and thus triggers the endorphins’ release. Finished off with 10–15 seconds (up to a minute) of a real intense, over the edge push, and the body will inject that next load.

Now at Level Three, the bottom will definitely feel a little bit 'woozy’ — exhibiting a “mildly drugged” state. Their eyelids should become heavier seeming, and they will fall into a more relaxed condition than before, with more low moans and groans, and with their inhibitions becoming more relaxed. Again, applying ten minutes of any relatively mild stimulation (don’t have to work hard, tops!), followed by a five minute build to a 10–15 second intense climax now that is WELL beyond the previous one, will result in the next endorphin “load” being released to push the bottom into a very nice Level Four head space.

At this Level Four state, there will be a very definite altered state of consciousness in evidence, and the bottom will feel clearly drugged and will be very compliant and submissive now. This is countered, however, by the largest charges of adrenalin they have received so far (from the intense climax just used to push them over this “edge”), so they are still quite communicative and their reaction time is still quick (even hypersensitive – a small whack with a paddle, cane or whip can now generate a huge amount of twitching or jerking of the subject’s body with certain bottoms.) Now, during the ten minute 'treading water’ period for the top, the moans and groans will be longer and deeper, the body often limp in it’s restraints, and the reactions to the occasional harder 'strikes’ will be obvious and even somewhat amplified. This is the tops finest time – they can still relax and obviously not be exerting themselves very hard, yet produce fine moans of ecstasy from their bottom with hardly any provocation! The pain threshold is high, even if the reaction time is increased due to the adrenalin, so harder occasional strikes are welcomed, and the reactions are certainly encouraging!

After this ten minute “endorphin replenishment” period, now it is important to be very sensitive to the limit levels crossed earlier, as you begin that five minute build in intensity that will end in the most intense limit pushing you might do with the bottom for this session (if you are stopping at level five). The bottom will have a very high pain threshold at this time, but also will be fairly groggy (in spite of the adrenalin-fueled reaction times) and less able to communicate their safe word – in fact, will now be so compliant that it is very UNLIKELY that they would use it even if they should do so! So, push this “grand finale” with finesse and sensitivity to what is going on with your bottom! At the other end of the 10–30 second climactic build in intensity – in a wonderful blast – this latest endorphin load will push the bottom into Level Five: a state of supreme ecstasy, docility, and the ability to take just about anything you could throw at them. They will become very limp and relaxed very suddenly – and be very clearly in an altered state of consciousness now.

This is the point most people end the scene and remove the bottom to cloak them in a blanket and begin the all-important aftercare … and unless you know your bottom extremely well, this is where the session should end. However, for those in that category of knowing their bottom’s limits and abilities quite well, the rules and timing are the same as with the earlier segments. Now, your 'mild’ stimulation could be fairly intense if you wanted it to be, and the bottom will become extremely submissive – and receptive – and accepting of any amount of stimulation you could lay on them. This is a dangerous condition, because there is NO WAY a person will utter a safe word in this condition – they can barely talk at all! So, it is best to keep the stimulation relatively intense but not too too (Note: the stronger intensity applied now will hold up the adrenalin levels, and the combination with the elevated endorphins levels creates a condition of intense excitement and of simultaneously intense ecstatic relaxation for the bottom, so they’ll be into receiving whatever is being doled out. More on adrenalin in a minute, though!) Again, finish off after the ten minutes with a building in intensity to one beyond that reached earlier, with a 10–15 second extreme point, and the next 'load’ will be released. So, now we have brought the bottom to a very amazing Level Six! (But, again, this should only be attempted with a bottom whose limits and abilities are already very well known! The top is working without the benefit of safe words being utterable, in most cases by this time, so care must be exercised this whole while.)

With all the adrenalin now in the body – as well as the complete release of inhibitions from the heavy dosing of endorphins now in their brain – behavior of the bottom can become unpredictable at this point, and you should be prepared to restrain against some wild thrashing and arm flailing that could take place (at least be out of harm’s way!) The person/bottom is going to be in such an intensely altered state of consciousness now that their reactions could possibly be of an extremely primitive nature, and they may be capable of only 'animal-like’ noises and reactions, and no or very little recognizable speech. So, watch out! Following this reasoning, approach the subject as you would a wild animal – very gently, talking soothingly and gesturing in a calming manner. Be prepared for sudden wild jerking, or seeming attempts to 'get away.’ And don’t take it personally! At Level Six, this person is totally ga-ga! Be assured, they are enjoying every millisecond of this experience! And a very long period of dreaminess is now in store for them – if their aftercare is handled properly!

So, why do I go on and on about the aftercare? The work of putting endorphins into the subject’s body is finished, right? Well, yes, but you have also succeeded in putting very, very large amounts of adrenalin into their system, and adrenalin is tricky stuff. Even at Level Four, aftercare is important now because of they way adrenalin burns off – it burns off very quickly – compared to endorphins, which burn off very slowly. At Level Five or Level Six, there is enough adrenalin in the body that it will take 10 to 20 minutes for it to burn off (even up to half an hour!), and during this time, the bottom very likely will experience a number of adrenalin 'crashes’ (similar in a way to coffee jags), and some of these can be very intense — and even quite frightening! They will need to be kept warm and be held and comforted AT LEAST throughout this period of adrenalin burn-off. My feeling is that if you don’t care enough for the bottom to enjoy cuddling and caressing with them for up to half an hour, you probably shouldn’t be taking them to any Level Six endorphin/adrenalin levels! (Or even perhaps to a Level Four!)

This adrenalin “crash” experience for the bottom is something many, many tops are unaware of, and they have no concept of the amount of harm they could be doing to someone’s psychological state by not performing adequate, loving, fondling and comforting aftercare during this time. All the bottom needs now is to be held and to hold you (or whoever you assign to perform aftercare) back – in order to be comforted by your presence, and to be allowed to make you become the entire focus of their awareness. No stroking, or massage, or other stimulus is needed or even desirable at this time. What is important is to keep in verbal contact with the bottom (not requiring words as responses, merely nods), instructing them every little while to relax. The adrenalin will have them in a very agitated state – high heart beat and breathing levels, etc. – and this situation is completely counter to the endorphin experience.Sure, they have a ton of endorphins in their system, but the adrenalin is presently holding them off from experiencing the full effect of them. The top’s guidance is extremely important at this time to help them relax through the adrenalin burn-off period.

The important thing to realize is that, if not actually 'talked down’ out of the adrenalin agitation, the person could easily never allow themselves to relax enough to even feel the massive content of endorphins that currently exist in their system! (Maybe you’ve all seen the bottom who, after 45 minutes to an hour of intense stimulation to the point of near-total collapse on the cross or bench, is released and – after a mere couple of minutes – is just mingling around and talking and mixing with people as if nothing ever happened. These people are floating on a self sustained adrenalin buzz. This not only is likely to be unhealthy, but these bottoms are cheating themselves out of a long, long stretch of total endorphin-induced ecstasy!)

Step-By-Step Aftercare Instructions

So, while gently holding the bottom and letting them hold you back, coo softly and comfort them, and tell them to go ahead and to let themselves relax. You will feel them do so as they comply to your wishes, as they are quite docile and compliant to receiving instructions at this point. But they will also slowly tense up again from the adrenalin. Keep reminding them to relax, telling them to give themselves permission to relax totally. As they begin to succeed at doing this after a while, some will encounter a frightening feeling, which some describe feeling as if 'falling off a cliff,’ and they will tense up a great deal from fright in that event. Or, they might encounter a feeling of intense 'blackness’ (as the endorphins get a chance to relax even their optic nerve) and they will freak out and pull back from relaxing again.

If they report such experiences (or even before they do) tell them not to fear that, but to let it go and pass through it – telling them to relax themselves through the sensation of falling or blackness with the understanding that this is quite normal and is a common experience. Once they do that, having learned to “relax through it”, they will be “in it” after that point, and will begin to relax very deeply, very often seeing colors and beautiful technicolor visions and dreamlike landscapes, spaces and places. How sweet!

Once this happens (which, again, will take at least 10 minutes — and up to a half hour for some, depending on the amount of adrenalin that they must burn off), then your bottom needs only a little more loving attention, and can then be left bundled in a blanket somewhere on their own to float in a happy bubble, very possibly for hours!

Tops should be mindful of the fact that if they had intended to have sexual play with their bottom, they should probably fit that in around level three or four, for after hitting level five, their bottom may be too floaty to be able to concentrate for long on what they are doing. Then again, that can sometimes result in extremely passionate and inhibition-free indulgence, resulting in heights of ecstasy and orgasm never before experienced. But, if your bottom drifts out on you or loses their erection, don’t say I didn’t warn you! There’s no telling which way they will go at level 5 or 6!

“Flying”

There is another factor that can produce an altered state of consciousness FAR FAR beyond even that of the most extreme endorphin experience. This is experienced by submissives whose intense focus upon their Master or Mistress (their Dominant) – and upon pleasing them – eventually leads to a hallucinogenic kind of altered state known commonly in the BDSM community as “flying,” having an almost mythological aura surrounding the word by now, though for very good reasons! It is probably the most profound experience one can have as a submissive. It involves a state of intense devotion towards the dominant (who is not just a mere “top” at this point!) that borders upon religious worship, with complete trust and a total commitment to please and satisfy them thoroughly. Through the attainment of a complete selflessness and focus on the dominant, a transformation takes place that is very, very deep, almost trance-like.It can become so profound as to produce an extended, hallucinogenic state that is very wonderful and blissful. Many have reported even seeing visions under the spell of this “flying” effect. All have attested to the profound sense of peace and bliss they have experienced while even near the “edge” of this state.

This “flying” state can be attained by some with very little endorphin content in their system (some say even with none, but I’m quite certain most folks have attained at least a level Three or Level Four endorphin high in order to trigger the total release of inhibitions which this psychological state seems to require, at least generally speaking.) With practice, the release into this “flying” submissive-space should come easier and easier, eventually with even a mere suggestion being able to trigger the effect for some with very little or even no endorphin content being in the picture. COMBINED with the level 5 or 6 endorphin head space, there likely can be no deeper state of ecstasy possible for the bottom — short of total enlightenment! Until such an experience of full enlightenment can be accomplished, perhaps the attainment of this interim bliss is quite acceptable, and certainly should be considered an attractive and enjoyable state to be in! The secret ingredients are intense focus; a commitment to please the dominant utterly; and complete and total devotion! These ingredients – with some endorphins in the mix – should produce a quite satisfying effect for both the submissive and the dominant!

(Disclaimer — I am not a medical doctor, I assume no responsibility for people who try to use this information or for the effects which may arise from the application of the information above. As resulting from my personal knowledge, research and experiences, I can, however, assure you that this information is completely accurate to act as a guide for those exploring these effects as part of their own BDSM explorations.)

malegenitalmodsgalore

A very long read, but interesting for anyone who has ever wondered about BDSM and deliberately inflicted pain, and a very important read for any couples actually considering trying it, to be read and fully understood before they do! All credit to masters-adored-pet.

You might like to start with some even more basic information HERE.

You might also like to join an organisation such as FetLife for more information and even the chance to do your earlier sessions in company with others more experienced. (Do your research, don’t believe all the claims about being experienced etc. that you see online!)