People love going on about their first loves,
Am I weird for wondering what my LAST love will be like?...I think not.
I don’t get what the fascination with first loves is all about…
I’d much rather look forward to my last love!
It was a first love for a reason wasn’t it?
To serve a purpose if you will...I don’t know, perhaps to introduce you to the world of dating, boyfriends and girlfriends and all that jazz…
So their job is done, well done to them…
But wouldn’t you rather want to find your true love than pine over something that wasn’t meant to be?
Sentimental reasons you say?...
Emotions are playing with your heart hun, the memories are coloured by emotion rather than reason…so no, any memory appealing to sentiment is no real reason…feelings of nostalgia are to be expected- does not mean that you should press replay though.
Oh, you never know, he might have been the one you say?
Chances are that you are wasting your time reliving the past, perhaps even closing the door for someone great to enter your life,
Scared of closing the chapter of your life which contained him…
When you first experienced that most wondrous emotion called love…uh-huh…
Well…you see, I see love as something that can be experienced over and over again, in varying degrees ofintensity
It doesn’t mean you never loved the person by moving on, no of course not !!
It just means that something much more powerful and more meaningful awaits…
Ultimately, a greater love…
I've only written poems to two of my 'greatest loves'
-of course, not counting the many lurve letters that have been exchanged , including that time when i wassixteen and thought i was the very first person on this planet to ever ‘be truly in love’!! Hahaha…
Oh yes I’d write him sweet little love letters and spritz them with my favourite scent so that he’d always think of me and imagine me being right next to him and each time he read those young words his thoughts would be saturated with me and…and ...and…
And those were the DAYS!!
Aahhh, if only love would have remained that simple…
But then again without love’s sweet confusion we would never learn to appreciate its beauty…
The beauty in forgiveness when he tells that first lie,
And the beauty of the moments you share with each love…
The first time you say you love him…
…and finally, that moment you realize that you’re simply not meant for one another… (or more realistically, not good for one another!)
Yes, the break up that hurts so bad you wish you could have ignored your feelings that something wasnot right in order to prevent this pain from swelling up inside you…constricting your throat…you can’t breathe…the tears are stinging your eyes…
You feel them coming and try to fight them at first,
But the first tear escapes and runs down your cheek- and you wish he was there to catch it…
Because that is what you’ve been taught he’s supposed to do…
He doesn’t come to tell you he that forgives you
and to tell you that he could never stay mad at you.
Or that he knows that everyone makes mistakes and he loves you so much he does not care about what you did…and…and…and...
And fact is that you’ve broken someone’s heart!
…and in the process broken your own.
How, you ask yourself, can so much pain stem from the joy you both once shared?
How can so much hatred have been disguised,
your thoughts dance around your head, you wish you’d never met him…
then it ALL wouldn’t matter,
YES, then it all would not exist…then…then…
…then the pain would vanish and you’d believe in love…again.
…but when you really think about it, even if you’d never met HIM, you’d surely have met someone else…sweetheart! Chances are good that the very same scenario would have played out.
and if you had not WOKEN UP it would have happened again
you would have begun to see the pattern…
and realized the lesson that love was desperately trying to teach you all along…
it was all preparation for your last love,
the love you’ll find when all have come and gone…
the one love who’ll never be ‘succeeded’ by anyone,
the one you’ll be READY for…
whom years of silly mistakes and games and playing hard to get..and…and…
and heartache and lost love prepared you for
So i've been inspired to write a poem to my last love...it will consist of the many wonderful qualities those who have come and gone possessed.
Gone, since they were good in their own ways but not meant for me...a wish I suppose he'll fulfil...to be ‘the one for me’.
I’m not looking for perfection...just someone real,
Someone who doesn't feel the need to hide behind a mask,
Afraid of showing who he really is to me…someone who knows who he is.
Someone who says what he means and is not afraid of telling me what he TRULY thinks about me,
Someone i can bare my HEART to with no fear of being judged,
with NO doubt in my mind that we're on the same wave length, that we want the same thing...
to give selflessly and not want anything in return...
for our LOVE to suffice...
someone who after seeing me at my worst still sticks around, saying “you’re not getting rid of me that easily”…
who doesn’t feel the need to perform grand gestures of ‘love’ to prove their feelings for me are true but who does the little special things…things that REALLY matter…
we will be able to sit in perfect silence and stay in harmony…with no verbosity necessary to show that simple truth…true, unconditional, LOVE…
a love which accepts me at any size or shade.
Love which is the closest thing to the love my Father has for me.
And most importantly, someone who possesses a love for the Lord.
I pray that God will bless me with him one day, but until i meet him I'd rather remain single...I'm no longer 'dating' just for the sake of dating... No more settling for less and wasting my time and that of somebody else just so that I'm not 'alone'.
so yes, It turns out i AM a romantic after all...
germansingergirl
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