Kids Be Crazy

I am an aunt five times over, almost all of my closest friends have small children, and I teach art classes to kids ranging from 5 to 14 years old. Needless to say, I spend a whole lot of my life around children, and thought it was high time I created a blog to keep track of all the hilarious things my favorite kids say and do every day. Enjoy!

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Isaac (7): I HATE drinking warm water!

[Mom]: What a hard life. You know, some kids have to drink water out of a dirty river.

Isaac: …..

Isaac: Well, it’s probably cold.

[kidsbecrazyyo]

[my sister]: How's homeschool going? What's your favorite thing so far?

Ophelia (7): Umm... getting pieces of oranges stuck in my teeth?

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Lili (2): I want to sit in your lap! Because I'm a Sit Lapper.

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Johanna(7): I only have one dollar.... But it's a five dollar!

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Derek (2): *hands me a piece of cheese*

Me: Do you want to eat this?

Derek: No?

Me: Do you just want me to hold it?

Derek: No?

Me: Do you want me to eat it?

Derek: *silent*

Me: *takes a small bite*

Derek: *has twenty minute melt down*

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Isaac (3): I'm going to pick a husband for you!

[Mom]: Oh really? What's my husband going to do for work?

Isaac: Pfffft babies don't work!

[Mom]: But Momma is going to marry a man, not a baby! What is my grown up husband going to do?

Isaac: Husbands don't grow!!

[Mom]: Okay what is my *husband* going to do!?

Isaac: I don't know.... Shake!?

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Grace (3): Mommy, you smell like a warthog!

[Mom]: ... I'm sorry.

Grace: It's okay.

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Isaac (2): Sometimes in the dark, when you can't see where you're going and you look the wrong direction, there's scary things and you can't see them so you say... "SHOW YOUR FACE!"

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Victoria (7): What day does a cheetah eat it's food?

Me: I don't know.

Victoria: CHEWSday!

Alex (4): What day does a lion eat it's food?

Victoria: Chewsday?

Alex: Nope. Thursday.

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Isaac (2): Cats don't talk very well.

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Alex (4): Congratulations on being King Dork I guess.

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Grace (3): I can go home with you?

Me: No, but how about if I come babysit you in a couple days?

Grace: You gonna put me in you belly!?

Me: No... That is definitely not what that means!

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Alex (4): "HAVE YOU EVER TOUCHED A RAT!?"

[kidsbecrazyyo]

[Mom]: Hold it with two hands!

Isaac (3): This is all the hands I got!

*laughter from me and [Mom]*

Isaac: Some people have four hands.

[Mom]: Oh really?

Isaac: Not you guys and not your neighbors. But some people do.

[kidsbecrazyyo]

*hear toddler crying, go upstairs to check*

Me: Is Rocco okay?

Veda (5): Yeah...

Me: Why was he crying just now?

Veda: Oh, because he wanted to look at my poop.

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Gracie (3): Amanda, why do you drink beer? Because you gonna die?

[kidsbecrazyyo]

Annika (5): I fought in World War II when I was just a SPERM!