what abuse has done to me:
someone: Makes a promise to me, or expresses desire to do something together in the future, or to give me something I want.
my brain: The classic future faking. This is not going to happen, ever, and we’re not going to pretend that it will. We will not sink into fantasies of what could be, and we’re not going to act differently or like this promise/vague desire meant anything. This is a trap and we’re walking right past it.
someone: Praises me and tells me I did well, or tells me that I’m a good person.
brain: Red Alert. You are being praised for acting obedient and pleasing. You are being groomed as we speak. You’re standing in front of an enemy. Achieve maximum distance. Remove yourself from their presence.
someone: doesn’t respond within a few days
brain: The interest is one-sided. Don’t indulge in ignoring them back, don’t play games, don’t rush to reply as soon as possible, you’re going to develop one-sided attachment. If you can’t count on them to talk to you, you can’t count on them for anything. Forget this person ever existed as they’re not going to continuously exist for you anyway.
