moose are better than people.

kristoff bergmann. canadian. lover of snow and carrots. avid moose fan.

[analbreath-deactivated20170904]

[kristogg]

kristoff decided to be an angst-y pool prince because fuck you that's why.

[hesatrxmp]

"I take it you haven’t had the experience of being the drunk teenager, then? Never knock anything until you try it, my friend. Socialization is necessary to the survival of the human race; we’d go mad without it. So really, we’re doing each other a favor right now. Even if you won’t smile — I will get you to, eventually, by the way. Just wait.”

[kristogg]

"Drinking usually involves social situations, and I'm clearly not good with those — nor do I have any desire to be.  That being said, I'm Canadian, and beer is basically God's gift to earth.  So, while I've had drinks, but I haven't been shit-faced drunk, and I don't intend to be any time soon.  A favor, huh?  If you say so.  I'd think of it as more of an inconvenience, but I suppose that's just my opinion.  Oh, I'll be on the edge of my seat until the moment you get me to smile."

[hesatrxmp]

"You’re a lot of fun at parties, aren’t you? Nice to meet you, I’m Trevor, and I think I’ll stay right here. I’d say 'if you don't mind', but I think we’ve established that you do, and that I don’t really care. So smile and tell me your name; you could use some socialization.”

[kristogg]

"I wouldn't know.  I try to stay away from drunken teenagers as much as possible; thus, I don't go to parties.  Socialization is vastly overrated, but I don't suppose I have much of a choice at this point, do I?  It's Kristoff, and I think I'll pass on the smile.  Nice to meet you, I guess."

[sheriffwood-deactivated20141116]

"Fuck."

[kristogg]

"Uh... Do you actually remember any of it?"

[sheriffwood-deactivated20141116]

"Did we—?"

[kristogg]

"I think so."

[hesatrxmp]

"Now what fun would that be?"

[kristogg]

"Well, we'd both be alone, which sounds pretty fun to me.  But, as this is a school library, I can't exactly kick you out.  So, to answer your question, no.  You aren't interrupting anything."

[sheriffwood-deactivated20141116]

"Woody."

[kristogg]

"Nice to meet you."

[sheriffwood-deactivated20141116]

"Oh, fuck."

[kristogg]

"Wha--  Oh.  Oh, shit.  Shit."

[littlelilypxtter-deactivated201]

"I’ve never met a fellow non-dancer either."

"I guess that makes us the founders of the club."

[kristogg]

"I guess it does. You know, I've never founded a club before.  I think this calls for celebration."

[littlelilypxtter-deactivated201]

"Not dancing sounds strange. I like it."

"I’m Anna. Nice to meet you."

[kristogg]

"It's nice to meet you, too, Anna.  It's always nice to meet a fellow not-dancer."

[sheriffwood-deactivated20141116]

“Kristoff.”

[kristogg]

"C'mon, don't I get a name?"

[littlelilypxtter-deactivated201]

"That’s okay. I can’t really dance either. Its not a strong suit of mine."

[kristogg]

"Well, hey, we can just not-dance together.  I'm Kristoff, by the way."

[sheriffwood-deactivated20141116]

"I’m not complaining, but… do you have a name?"

[kristogg]

"Mmmhmm... Kristoff..."

[sheriffwood-deactivated20141116]

"Wait, did you… who are you?”

[kristogg]

"Shh... Don't ruin it."

[littlelilypxtter-deactivated201]

"Wait… did you just…?"

"Well, maybe your dance moves have improved."

[kristogg]

"Yup."

"I'd like to say yes, but I'd be lying."

[sheriffwood-deactivated20141116]

[kristogg]

Poof, he's suddenly hot again, deal with it.

[littlelilypxtter-deactivated201]

"Those are not the best dance moves. At all.”

"But points for trying, kid."

[kristogg]

He looks like he's about to argue, but before he can say anything, a strange look comes to his face.  Then, suddenly, he ages 4 years in just seconds (oh no, he's hot!).

"Well... This is embarrassing."