FRESHMAN YEAR - 22 pieces of advice
So this beautiful, talented, and overall amazing babe messaged me a while ago looking for some advice to take with her to college. I thought it might be useful for some of my other followers who are bracing themselves for what is ABSOLUTELY one of the biggest, scariest, and most exciting changes of your lives. Your first year of college. Read on, innocent youths…
Get involved. The temptation will be heavy to just party and hang out, but go out of your way to get involved in some non-party activities or groups. See what your school has to offer. See what the surrounding community has to offer. Look for ways to contribute. You’ll be happy you did later. The party ends and you want to have some real people and real accomplishments to look back on when it does.
Don’t commit to a major too early. If your school has a core curriculum, knock those out of the way first. It will give you more time to figure out what you think you want to do.
Don’t pick a major just because it’s easy. That’ll come back to haunt you. Pick something that challenges and interests you. I was an English major because I like reading and was good at writing, it was easy. I would’ve had those things going for me had I picked a different major and would have been more well rounded when I came out of school.
BUT - If the thing you really love is the thing that comes easily, then do it. If English is your jam, then do it. Don’t be persuaded by naysayers. Just make sure you’re being honest with yourself.
Explore! Go to new places in the city, act like a tourist, don’t get set in a mundane routine. When you get the chance to travel, DO IT. You have so much freedom at this stage, take advantage of it.
Get to know your surroundings. Get to know the city/town/country around you. Get to know your campus. If you’re worried about getting lost, map out your way to your classes beforehand, do a dry run to see how long it takes you to get there. Ride your bike, take public transportation, go for walks.
Make new friends. Whether you’re going to school with old friends or not, introduce yourself to new people, whether they’re classmates, people you just see around, whatever. Be bold, start the conversation. I knew virtually no one at my college and it ended up opening doors to so many experiences I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Had I not been forced to make new friends, I would have missed out on that.
Don’t be afraid to cut toxic ties. Be that with old friends, new friends, whatever. If they’re a negative influence, now is the time to start over without them. It does not make you a bad person. Take this as an opportunity to surround yourself with the right people - people who want to see you do well and people who you want to see do well.
Do a semester/year abroad if you can. It can be hard and scary to leave your friends and family for that long, but it is so worth it. It’s an incredible experience and you won’t regret it. Even if it means working your ass off all summer/semester long to save up.
Get a job, hippy. And/or volunteer work. Even better if it’s through school and you can get a tuition break. I worked all the way through school with at least two jobs at a time. I know everyone’s situation is different, but even if I hadn’t HAD to have had a job, I would have wanted one. It’s money in your pocket, money that you earned. If you don’t need the money, then volunteer. You have the luxury of being able to offer your services to something you really care about. DO. IT. You’re not too busy. You never know what kind of doors it will open.
Get to know your professors and teaching assistants. They’re people too! And believe me they will notice if you make an effort to make that connection. Plus they’re usually super smart, super cool people and are bound to have some good stories (and it helps down the road when you need a solid recommendation letter). If you actually raise your hand to contribute in class, they will love you more than you can ever know.
But please, don’t lie to us. We can tell. You know how many times I was told “Oh, my printer just ran out of ink.” Too many. Just fuckin, be an adult and get your shit done. Printer ran out of ink? Get to campus early to print at the library. Or just own up to it if you don’t get your shit done. Just don’t lie.
Actually do your coursework. You signed up for a class because it sounded interesting, and it would be interesting if you actually did the reading and could participate in the discussion. It really would, I promise. Oh, and for the love of God, proofread whatever you hand in. I guarantee that your teacher wants to read your error-ridden bullshitted paper even less than you want to write it. Do them a kindness and put at least a LITTLE effort into it. Again, we can tell. And when we get a paper that is actually thoughtful, it’s like the skies part and choir of angels start singing.
Don’t over commit. Know your limits. Make “me time” a priority, you need it to maintain your sanity and get things done. It isn’t selfish, it doesn’t make you any less fun. It’s ok to skip a party or other event if you need time to recharge your batteries. 99.999% of the time you will NOT miss out on any life changing event or lose any friendships by staying in one night, even if it feels that way. Who knows, maybe someone else wants to stay in too and were waiting for someone else to say it first.
Get a planner. Or use the one in your phone. Write down all your deadlines and commitments. It’ll help you visualize your schedule so you know what you can and can’t do. It’ll help you balance work, school, family, and fun. And it’ll help save you from getting swamped at the end of the semester with all those assignments you forgot about.
The “W” curve, or : it’s OK to feel homesick. The first semester can be rough. There’s something called the “W" curve where things start off great -> plummet and everything seems terrible -> get mildly better -> plummet -> gradually becomes great again. Remember that feeling nervous/scared/anxious/sad is TOTALLY normal. Everyone around you goes through the same thing, if they seem like they’re immune it’s because they are either just not showing it or are at a different point on that W curve.
Have fun. Go to that party. Go to that concert. Be goofy. Try to sneak into a bar. College is when you’ll make some of the funniest memories.
Just be smart and be safe. I can’t emphasize this enough. People go fucking nuts in college and put themselves in really compromising situations. People also take all precautions and still end up in dangerous situations. Before you go out, make sure your friends know where you are/where you’re going/when you leave. It doesn’t hurt to buy some pepper spray or download an app like this or any of these. Get your own drinks and don’t leave them unattended. If you’re going to take drugs, just make sure you’re not mixing them with anything that could be lethal.
Free college gym. And usually drastically reduced nutritional and PT services. If your school gym offers classes like yoga, swim, martial arts, weight lifting, whatever, then TAKE ADVANTAGE. Try them all! You never know which one you’ll fall in love with. Be kind to your body. Omg how I wish I had free gym access now and the flexibility of my college schedule. I would live there.
Pay attention to your finances. I know this one’s a buzz kill, but just hear me out. DON’T sign up for any and every credit card that comes your way (including retailers’ credit cards that offer big discounts on your purchases when you sign up). Don’t take out a ton of loans just so you can live a cushy life and party without having to get a job. Having bad credit really super sucks - it super sucks. It’s easy to ruin your credit and it takes a long time to repair. If you’re going to get a credit card, get ONE. Use it to pay your standard bills and nothing else, pay it off entirely at the end of the month. That way you’re building your credit without screwing yourself over down the road. Oh and if you get paid primarily in cash (basically anyone in the service industry) try to hang on to some of that. I made crazy money waiting tables and put virtually none of it into savings. Instead I’d walk out with $100-200 in cash and blow it in a night. Super fun, sure sometimes, but I’m kicking myself for it now.
Tolerance is the name of the game. You will see some things. These things will be new and different and scary and will challenge your worldview. You won’t always agree with these things. Don’t lash out, don’t respond with hatred, even if that’s your first impulse. Take some time to process what’s going on or what is being said. Try to put yourself in the other person’s position. If you respond to new things with curiosity and compassion, if you try to understand them rather than instinctively reject them, your life will be 1000x richer for it. You will grow, you will surprise yourself, you will be a better person.
Don’t be afraid to ask for advice. Find someone you can trust to talk to, be it a family member, friend, coworker, teacher. Everyone needs someone. College is incredibly fun, but it can also be incredibly hard. You will grow so much, try to enjoy the process.
For more, check out this post by postgraduatepurgatory and these funny but solid Buzzfeed lists:
Winning at Freshman Year, Rookie Mistakes, 14 Decisions You Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Make
