@annambates asked for 14. “Have you ever…like…thought about us?”
This wasn’t John’s first choice of an evening well spent, but lovesick fool that he was, he hadn’t been able to resist saying yes to Anna’s invitation to the local pub for a few drinks for her birthday. Not that he was drinking. He was spending his time watching everyone else drinking instead. Hardly his idea of fun, but Anna was enjoying herself. Her cheeks were rosy from the couple of glasses of wine that she’d had, and her laughter was full-throated and happy. He was sitting beside her, and she kept leaning into him, though he was sure it was inadvertent more than anything. Still, he enjoyed the firmness of her thigh against his, and the sexy scent of her perfume. And while it wasn’t his cup of tea, being with her was enough.
Until this. Until he’d slipped outside for a sneaky cigarette after a trip to the loo to find that Joseph Molesley had coaxed Anna outside with him. He backed up a bit, ducking round the corner. Eavesdropping wasn’t usually his style—it was something deplorable that Thomas Barrow would do—but he was morbidly curious. More frightened than he dared give agency to.
Because he knew what Joseph was doing. He was telling Anna that he had feelings for her. John had known that the other man had been sweet on her for a while, but he’d hoped that his warning that there was someone special in Anna’s life, albeit a secret admirer, would be enough to deter him.
He pressed himself closer to the wall. He watched. He listened.
Anna tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “What did you want to talk to me about, Joe?”
Joseph cleared his throat. “I was wondering if I could ask you a question.”
“Of course you can. You can ask me anything.”
Anna was smiling at him. John found that he couldn’t look away, no matter how much he wanted to. Was that a twinkle of pure affection in her eyes?
Joseph shifted from foot to foot. His voice came out squeaky as he stumbled over his words. “We’ve…we’ve known each other for quite some time now.”
“Two years,” she agreed. “It’s gone quickly.”
“Yes. It’s been a wonderful two years. It’s just…I…we…”
“Joe? Are you all right?”
“Have you ever thought about…like…us?” he blurted at last. John could see that his ears had gone bright red.
For a moment, it appeared that Anna was wrong-footed. Her smile had slipped, and her arms had leapt to wrap around herself, one of the sure signs that she was uncomfortable with the conversation.
Now that his feelings were out in the open, it seemed that Joseph had gained his confidence. “I’ve liked you for a long time, Anna. You’re lovely. I know you’re far too good for me, but I think we could be good together, if you’d give me the chance.”
“Oh, Joseph,” she sighed. “I’m very flattered, of course.”
Joseph wilted, his shoulders slumping forward. “There’s a ‘but’, isn’t there?”
“I like you a lot. You’ve always been a great friend to me. But…but that’s all I feel. You’re a very good friend. I’m sorry if I’ve led you on to believe that there could be more. I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want.”
“It’s not your fault,” he protested at once. “It’s just that…you’ve always been so kind to me, I thought there might be a chance.”
“I’m afraid not,” she said delicately, as if her tone of voice might soften the blow.
“Never mind, then,” said Joseph, in a real effort to sound less than crushed. “Would you just answer me one more question?”
“Yes,” Anna said immediately, clearly wanting to soothe him in any way possible. John felt sorry for her. Causing pain to someone never sat well with her, and this had to be one of the most awful situations for anyone.
“Is it because there’s someone in your life?”
This seemed to catch her off-guard. “What?”
“Oh, well…it’s just that John Bates said that there was someone special in your life, and that’s why I shouldn’t speak out…”
John winced, slumping back against the wall. Well, damn. He certainly hadn’t been intending for that to get back to her. That pretty much revealed his heart to her, after he’d spent so long concealing his feelings because he didn’t want to drag her down when he knew there was a better life for her out there. Bloody Joseph Molesley.
He was so caught up in his self-berating that he almost missed her answer, but his ears pricked up at her whispering. His heart thundered in his chest as he leaned forward as much as he dared.
“Yes. Yes, there is someone. I’m sorry it had to come to this Joseph, honestly.”
“You shouldn’t apologise. I don’t want to know who he is…but I hope he knows that he’s a very lucky bloke.”
Anna laughed a little bitterly. “Do you know what, I can’t tell if he knows or not.”
“Oh. Well.” Joseph cleared his throat again. “I should be getting back inside. Thank you for your honesty.”
There was a brief pause before Joseph reached out to shake her hand. It was quick and awkward, and he all but ran back inside, no doubt to drown his sorrows. Anna didn’t follow.
John remained rooted to the spot. His mind buzzed. There was someone special in Anna’s life. He thought of all the time they spent together, the way she always sought him out, the way they brushed against each other more often than was necessary.
Dare he hope that she might feel the same way he did?
Taking a deep breath, John strolled round the corner as casually as he could. He tried to feign surprise as she came into his line of vision.
“Anna?” he said. “Is there something wrong?”
“I just needed some air,” she replied.
He limped to her side, standing close. Now he was here, he could see the deep frown lines on her face, the pensive scrunch of her lips. He felt guilty, suddenly, for his own selfishness.
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Yes,” she said. “I just…I had a rather unexpected conversation. It got me thinking.”
“About what?” he asked tentatively.
“About bravery. About seizing the moment. Would you say that that was a good thing to do?”
“It depends,” he said carefully. “If it feels right, then I would say yes.”
Anna fell quiet, but she didn’t take her eyes from his face. John found himself mesmerised by the fire in those blue depths.
“Can I ask you another question?”
Anna bit her lip, then drew herself to her full height, looking him square in the face with defiance. “Have you ever thought about…us?”
It took his breath away. All of his dreams were coming true in the space of a few seconds. He had fought his feelings for her for so long, and to hear her say those words to him, so confident, so unashamed, was almost more than he could take.
He’d hidden his feelings deep inside, frightened that she felt the same, frightened that she didn’t. Frightened that he could never live up to what she deserved. But now, hearing her speak so boldly, broke something icy and dead inside him. His heart lurched, almost as if it was trying to leave his chest and join with hers. He should say no, but he couldn’t form the word.
“Yes,” he breathed. “So very, very often.”
His fear was completely eclipsed by Anna’s smile, the purest, brightest one he had ever seen. He felt a fool for cowering from it for so long, when he could have been privy to it so much earlier.
“Thank God for that,” she sighed. “Because I’ve been thinking about it a lot too.”
“Is there some reason why you’re asking…?” he said.
She didn’t answer him with words this time, but with the crush of her lips against his, her arms around his shoulders, the soft sound of want in the back of her throat.
It was the best answer she could have given him.
Send a number and I’ll write a drabble to celebrate a nice milestone.
