feel free to alter pronouns/etc. as needed.
[ text ] : happy fingers in his ass sunday
[ text ] : PLAN MY FUNERAL IMMEDIATELY
[ text ] : simply tell ur feelings no. it wont work but u tried.
[ text ] : also, friends don’t fuck on the roof.
[ text ] : i mean i’m honored that i’m the one you texted but if there’s a monster in your room you are on your own my guy
[ text ] : if you put cheese through guitar strings are you shredding
[ text ] : ok answer me this - if villain bad why sexy?
[ text ] : get the hell away from my throne I’M the simp around here
[ text ] : we were just talking about KINKS why am i SAD
[ text ] : this is not heterosexual behavior
[ text ] : what are thighs for. If Not Seats
[ text ] : if you’re straight you are SO BAD AT IT
[ text ] : IT’S LIKE YOU HAVE NO SELF PRESERVATION INSTINCT
[ text ] : *the entire bee movie script*
[ text ] : Delete my number.
[ text ] : hear me out for a second. the ocean is a soup.
[ text ] : i’m gonna start talking to myself in your dms until you hold a proper conversation with me you limp seaweed
[ text ] : Wouldn’t you rather have this conversation in person?
[ text ] : Are these the things that rattle around in your brain instead of actual useful thoughts?
[ text ] : Would you like me to pretend I did not see this message? Or are you willing to accept the consequences of your actions?
[ text ] : please im not a twink i dont fit the criteria :(
[ text ] : oh my god this is gonna kill me. like i’m gonna keep doing it but it’s gonna kill me
[ text ] : You’re so weird and breedable
[ text ] : I’m trying to booty call you pick up the phone >:(