I don’t even know where it came from; it was just there and the humans said illogical nonsense like “Cat delivery system” for which I can find no reference, and “yeah, they just do that.” Do what? How? Is there an exploitable hole in the perimeter? Can something else get through and hurt my humans?
While I was worrying about that, Gurathin said, “Look how it always stays near Murderbot. Let’s call it Drone.”
The others all laughed and so that is what they call it now. I still call it asshole, because that is mostly what it shows me.
It is an asshole for other reasons, though. It sleeps in the exact middle of my bed, so there’s not even room for me to sit to watch media. If I stand, it rams its tiny head against my legs or makes noises, so I can’t focus on my show. Even if I try to ignore that input, I can’t ignore Ratthi saying “Aw, it just wants you to pick it up! Drone loves you, Murderbot!”
I do not wish to be loved.
But the others are looking at me now, so I pick it up. Perhaps if it is entertained it will cease to be so annoying.
I take it to my room and project my favorite episode of Sanctuary Moon on the screen. I cannot tell if the cat is watching, but it settles down onto my left arm.
After a moment, it begins to vibrate, like an engine felt several decks away.
This is unexpectedly soothing, even though it is blocking my left gun port.
Research has shown me it might become sick with a ball of its own ingested hair. Cats are as disgusting as humans. More so: humans do not lick themselves and consider that being clean.
If I could be sure it would be sick on Gurathin’s bed, I would do nothing. But I cannot be sure and it wouldn’t be funny if it happened to Pin-Lee or Mensah so as I watch, I comb through its hair with my fingers.
The noise and vibration it makes increase.
This is soothing even though it is interrupting a favorite scene.
“You are still an asshole,” I tell it.
It blinks at me and slowly falls asleep on my gun port.
