An open starter for the @asongofgoldenfireandblackblood RP
The taunts sounded harsher and hit sharper than they usually held the power to impact Rhaena after all these years and her no longer-new found seat in the Princess of the Realm's place in the Court's first gallery. They weren't new nor unusual, the same fare that had led to her infamy in responding to the cruelty of what was then still her uncle's court with the assurance that, "I like to smile at people who don't like me."
An airhead around one corner, a nuisance around the next, her mũna assured her since the day she first came under the eyes of the Red Keep, "whoever has a problem with you? They are the one with a problem and your existence is never warrant for an apology." Rhaena had always embraced the sentiment, tested its limits, pushed to its logical extreme, worn the brightest parts of her personality as armor because then there could be no doubts about who likes her for exactly who she is and whose opinions needn't be considered at all.
They hurt worse today than any throne-side tittering had in a long time, though. Perhaps it was because of how anxious she'd been and how hard it had driven her to work since the freeze hit, or because the ensuing short tempers towards the home she felt no choice but to love seemed so unfair, maybe it was simply that in the face of such awful circumstances Rhaena was surrounded by friends, planning endless parties and two weddings, happy because she had never felt more grateful for what she had and could turn into even more to share with others. The past weeks she had, as Rhaena at her best loved and at her core couldn't help herself, offered all she had in abundance; her joy, her care, and her brightness. Only for the onlookers above her to hiss at her delicately presented display with sneering responses.
"We can only hope marriage might instill some maturity in her yet."
"Though it's still beyond me why the Prince-Hand picked her at all. Lady Vaella shares the same Valyrian linage with a better nature by far and Lady Daisy is leagues smarter with the inheritance he lacks if Prince Aemond was so insistent on someone as heedless as himself."
"A babe will settle her in time, they always do, she'll scoff and say motherhood is only a matter of love and without care or notice to how much of ourselves we give away to our children she'll diminish just the same, and we will all be better for it."
There was no escape, even as the session drew to a close and Rhaena tried to involve herself in anyone, anything else, snippets of gossip echoed every way she turned.
"Celebrating as if we're not all trapped here..."
"Speaks of gala planning and glitter to her projects without a care to the broader world, much less how she comes across..."
"Well, I heard the wedding's been delayed be cause he doesn't intend to go through with it at all..."
"Not a single thought towards how all that gold spent on those pink dyes from Myr could feed a village by the bottle through this whole freeze."
The words so blatantly about her there was no explaining them away ached from the reminder of how precisely how low people could think of her crashing back into the peace of mind she so carefully cultivated against the awfulness that lurked about court she had seen it drain the shine out of far too many a pearl and the brightness away from even those best known for their light. The assurance not all of them were certainly slanders of Rhaena herself didn't make them hurt any less when all that meant was knowing taunts not just about her but the girls she held closest to her heart were being passed around as petty entertainment in the tension of the freeze.
She needed to get away, be free of the judgment so all consuming it drowned out her own thoughts, and find something to put her mind at ease enough that the next time she opened her mouth to speak she'd be able to do anything besides sob until she was sick; certain the affair had reduced her to childhood neuroses she'd finally been fortunate to grow out of at twelve nearly a decade later. It was easier to slip off than most would expect, the halls were crowded, Rhaena knew the castle by heart, and a rare advantage of her short stature had always been the ability to easily weave through a crowd.
She'd be nearly back to her rooms before her friends noticed she was gone, Lacey, Cerelle, and Tyshara would get annoyed at each other's respective boys and in short order the guards for having no clue where she went, then Gysella and Berena or Joffrey and Harry would interject they should be far more concerned about Aemond if something was truly amiss, and then someone out of the bunch would take it on themselves to be the voice of reason and say they should check her room. Other times, once whatever collection of her friends ended up worried made it back to Rhaena's apartments she'd had piles of presents or lavish tea parties waiting for them, the surprises were just part and parcel to being beloved of the Princess, and all was quickly forgiven.
She could do the same now, it would be smaller than some other times, but if she gave an order for sweets, pulled out a few hobby gifts she kept saved for hard days, and broke out all of her soft toys she could acknowledge the day's harshness, call for them to celebrate each other in the face of it, and she would once again be lauded for her grace under pressure. Rhaena was so tired though, only able to focus on not allowing for sobs to echo through the corridors as she walked along, and overwhelmed even by that effort by the time her door clicked shut.
Before she could even begin to try and calm herself down or turn her emotions into efforts towards making this all better, she'd climbed onto her bed, grabbing one of the largest pillows out of its pile and finally allowing herself to cry the tears that had been threatening to choke her since she was still in the throne room. She lost track of time after that, lost in the emotions flooding her system until a knock sounded on the door some time later.
"I'm very busy!" Rhaena called out, a choked response driven by muscle memory and no better words to simultaneously convey please leave me be and please tell me you don't mind waiting while you barge in anyway, then a familiar voice echoed back...
