I haven't posted much here in a loong loong while.
Mainly because my browser kept logging me out when some weeks went past and then I was like "the hell is my password again?".
Anywho. Time hasn't been all that kind to us.
I don't think I've told it here, but for the past 6 months I've just barely been resembling a human. Don't worry, the dogs are taken care off. They get their walks, their enrichment, cuddles, food and water. Just the me behind them has had a very tough time.
I started studies in economics and logistics. Those have gone good enough. No failed courses.
It's the living side of things. My employer wanted to have me on 'call-on-need' kind of contract. Which is fine if you're very busy and they have places where you could just go clean and then come back to lectures - which all were always in the evening and on Tuesday and Wednesdays. And I knew all that, told them all that.
Well, I mean it's been since April since I've been at work for full 8 hours. And I mean that was only ONE (1) day. Before that there was a whole month of not being called in. I had asked for a "thursday+friday always" kind of deal. But apparently that's not fine to them for what ever reason. (I know the reason would be that they would be forced to accommodate me and my lack of driver's license.)
The shitty thing is that I don't get money from anywhere else. I don't get a student tuition, because Kela said so due to my previous studies. The Unemployment office (TE-toimisto) wants nothing to do with students, so they finally cut ties with me even though I had specifically been told to keep in contact because I wasn't on my own work field. (Graphic designer =/= Cleaner) They even made me and tons of others leap through bureaucracy hoops for 3 damn months for red tape things. And for what? For them to suddenly just go: "oh, not our problem anymore".
So... fun.
I decided to ask for help. Both physical and psychological because I was crying for an entire week. During my days at work for the previous past 6 months I had been having my left leg go numb or just straight up be in pain for walking. My left hand was barely handling things with any sort of gripping motions and touches.
So I got into a short line of waiting because it was acute and imperative that well... things don't go from bad to worse. iykyk
I've had MRI, ENMG and x-rays taken from the entire left side of me and all the found was a scoliosis on my spine around the hips. Cool, doesn't explain anything to me.
Everyone who I've spoken to about the situation (at this time of the year - which is like 2 psychologists, 1 physiotherapist and 3 doctors) agrees that it is shitty. It is very much disgusting from both the employer and government.
I can't even move out even if I would want to. I wouldn't have the down payment for 2 months rent. Or anyway to even move my things. Not that I want to really. My apartment is very much cheaper than what is available here yet I still get told "you need to move into a s***e box" by the government (which is what we call 1 room+bathroom apartments).
I feel like shit as a human being, but like proud enough that I still force it out of me to keep my dogs healthy and happy. At the cost of something probably again. We've had up's-and-down's during the months, but nothing worse than boy liking the scent of bitches in heat.
So anyway... I'm still here.
Doggos have new admirer from afar. She's allergic to animal dandruff, but we're working on setting up a meet in one of the dog forests so that they and the dogs can meet on their own terms and not be in a closed off small room space. Mostly for the enrichment for the dogs too so they could have freedom of running around as they wish.
Fun little fact: dog food is currently cheaper than buying tank full of gas/diesel...
I wish work places would accommodate for dog-powered arrival to work, because no way in hell am I leaving a bike unattended for 8 hours. I've seen plenty of 'carcasess' of bikes where they've stolen everything except the body or the back wheel.
We're still very much here. Well, on occasion. I've been in a escapism kind of mindset from everything for the past few months. I haven't really taken photos with my dogs on walks either because it's so damn slippery. (Those on Insta know that I haven't posted there much either.)
I'll look into reblogging some old old things, because I'm kind of running out of options to busy my idle mind from hurting.
Still haven't found a job. Haven't even got a decline reply of "thanks for your interest but...".
It's been now 2 years soon and well, while I've been up to pay everything I'm running out of days in "the unemployment tuition" (it's hard to explain otherwise).
Anyway...
I'll go watch people leaving to work outside with my dogs now I guess while listening to Castle in the Sky.
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