Reality of an eating disorder
• constantly thinking about food
• even when you “aren’t hungry”
• eating 4 cornflakes and feeling guilty about it
• what the fuck are ‘safe foods’
• paranoia about people finding your journal/blog
• jealousy over “prettier people”
• but also feeling bad for being jealous
• did I just imagine that?
• seeing black spots when standing
• light headed all the time
• tiny little hairs growing everywhere
• irreparable damage to teeth
• irreparable damage to organs
• when was my last period again?
• can’t take medicine/ medicine will make me fat
• how many calories in these vitamins
• how many calories in toothpaste
• I’ll have just one bite
• dry mouth even when you’re drinking lots
• literally drinking so much that you feel sick
• suddenly 10 calories is too much
• what does bread taste like
• I forgot what bread tastes like
• I can’t remember anything
• intense pain when eating
• always. fucking. tired.
• needing lax just to “go”
• buying multiple diet pills
• taking them all without meals
• coffee works better bc you’re getting smaller
• not going to social functions anymore
• not eating with friends/family anymore
• feeling your heart drop to your stomach when someone gives you food “as a treat” or “to cheer you up”
• eats zero calories and still fears gaining weight
• eats 1 grape and fears gaining weight
• cold. always cold. always
• being told you’re not fat but never ever believing them
• people only say nice things because they feel sorry for me
• being super defensive about food and not eating
• trying to give yourself a bug so you have more excuses/ lose weight faster
• abusing lax even though you know it doesn’t work but you feel lighter.
• working out all the time
• being threatened with ED clinics
• feeling “too fat” for an eating disorder even though it’s a mental illness
• feeling embarrassed about your symptoms
• “sorry for what I said when I was hungry”
• weighing myself 20+ times a day
• weighing myself everytime I go to the bathroom
• only weighing myself naked
• panicking when I can’t weigh myself
• wanting to work out but too dizzy
• can’t stand for long periods
• crying when people expect you to eat with them
• getting angry/defensive around food
• daydreaming about fasting and weightloss
• expectations of yourself too high
• hating everything about yourself
• pulling at your skin/fat rolls
• sunken eyes/dark circles
• looking exhausted all the time
• being exhausted all the time
These are just my experiences
This isn’t a diet. Please stay safe ~♡
gummygunk
theartofmadeline
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
origamiaround
germansingergirl
prguitarman
