an ode to time, wanderer
wc. 3.5k ish wanderer x reader oneshot
premise. ever since you started dating your boyfriend, wanderer, he's always avoided your questions about his past. you'd vowed to yourself that it may just be something you will never know; however, after being given the option to travel through time and witness his secret for yourself, you can't help but investigate.
notes. time travel is a big thing there, vilko is some random guy i made for the narrative, mentions of wanderers past and his names, sorry if its poorly written memory is v poor, reader and wanderer argue a lot it seems, those kids r annoying, ily mentions, reader calls wanderer silly a few times, lotuses have a lot of power here, minorly proofread, hope you enjoy!!
ever since your akasha was confiscated by one of the forest rangers, it had felt like your life had changed in the span of a few weeks. you always used to say you were a creature of habit; going to commit to your studies at the akademiya was practically all you did, save for the few adventures you managed to the desert now and then. it always had been worth it to see the faces of those children who had never seen a student from sumeru's forest before.
though, there was a big change once sumeru had been reverted to an akasha-less nation. the act of dreaming. you'd always thought dreams were feelings of hope burning in the chest, not stories illustrated by the mind. after all, you had always yearned to dance on a stage like your friend nilou. she'd possessed an overwhelming talent your feet could never muster, yet for that you couldn't complain, because your dreams led you to him.
wanderer. you could never be sure as to why it happened. it was just a shift in the air; you could swear you'd memorised the faces of all in sumeru, and yet when he walked past, it didn't feel natural. like fate had pulled two different strings for you to meet. or, that's how you percieve it when looking back, anyway.
he had been brash and rude, warning you not to linger around his person for too long. like any invested sumeru scholar, you refused to bow to his will. it had taken years for your mind to be able to dream, yet he immediately appeared in every one. at first, his face refused to reveal itself to you, and you seriously couldn't figure out why. each mirage revealed something new: a vahumana darshan scholar, a hater of sweets, and a very close confidant to the dendro archon.
sometimes, you used to think that he was placed in those dreams intentionally. a complicated trail, yes, but one which led you to one of the most interesting person you knew. maybe a silly notion, but one that you'd mull over in your mind, especially in these situations.
he'd only just come home from the akademiya. maybe you shouldn't have pushed him so far. but was your question really so grave? you'd dated for so long, through each new crisis sumeru faced, and you were always left with one question.
"who really were you?" the words settled bitterly in your mouth. they felt even worse in the air, leaving the stinging aftertaste of metal on your tongue. or no, wait; that was your teeth biting down on your lip.
"why do you always ask this? i'm a vahumana scholar."
you sighed. always the same. the nilotpala lotus between your fingers bended to your weight, yellow pigment smudged onto your fingers. "i know that, silly. i mean... before. like— before then. come on, wanderer, tell me."
maybe you'd pushed him too hard. or he'd had a hard day in the library. whatever the case, it still made him lash out. "i prepared to study at the akademiya. will you stop pushing all these questions?"
"but we're dating. i feel like you could write a book about me, but i barely know anything about you from before we met!" you had stood up at some point between your rant and laboured breathing, approaching him with a newfound confidence. "i swear i won't judge. were you a criminal or something?"
wanderer only scoffed. you'd expected to at least wriggle some ounce of sympathy for his elusiveness, but his footsteps replaced any thought of an apology. your fingers lost their grip on the golden lotus, landing on the floor in a shrivelled pile of bud and petal. in one of the dreams you'd once had, you were surrounded by a crowd of nilotpala flowers. your figure twirled whilst he had watched with a precision you'd yet to see him recreate in real life. deep down, your mind had always debated what percentage of your love for wanderer was dream or reality. maybe you had always been chasing that dream with him; yet, like dancing, there was a very small chance of it becoming true.
in the past, whenever you were upset or distracted, a trip to the desert had always restored the faith in your mind. maybe that was why your carriage had stationed itself in the deep dunes a week later. you hadn't physically told wanderer, but a note passed to sethos was good enough, right?
regardless, you'd found yourself once again sat in the home of an elderly desert dweller, with nine bright-eyed children beaming at your feet. they'd complained of your long time away, the worsening harvest and... the new teacher from natlan. you'd never been to the nation of war yourself, but you hardly imagined them as the aggressive type.
"he's so creepy!" "and he even grins whilst telling us ghost stories..." "he's so tall, too!"
you'd laugh at their concerns if not for the fact they all were nodding in agreement. it was slightly unsettling, considering you hadn't been here since you began dating wanderer, but you shook it off as just kids being kids. they'd get scared of a paper towel—
"talking about me, are we?" a velvety voice crossed your ears, and you couldn't help but let out a slight squeal with the other kids.
the smell of pinewood and incense filled your nostrils before you'd even turned. he had that wise man look which, considering he must've been in his thirties, was slightly abnormal. aside from that, his toothy smile actually seemed all bark no bite.
"no!" "no, mr. vilko!" they'd all scurried off under the excuse of checking on candace by the time he'd sat down. damn kids.
your eyes returned to him. "your name's vilko, did they say?"
the man hummed appreciatively, before looking down at the ring gracing your index finger. "married?"
"what? no!" you sputtered, drawing down your sleeve to cover the piece. you kept the memory well; wanderer had chosen a gold band to glisten in the sun, and a teal stone to replicate the colour that adorned his hat. "it's a promise ring. not like i'll be needing it for much longer."
"oh, no. is it imprudent of me to ask why?"
vilko had looked back at you with an interested look, far more willing to listen than any of the elders would probably be.
"i'll do my best to keep it short." your hand rested on top of the metal on your finger. "before i visited the desert, my partner and i had gotten into another... disagreement, of sorts. thing is, i feel like i've shared all there is to know about me, yet i know nothing about him before he we met."
it felt weird to say aloud, like your admitting there was a fault in the relationship you'd dreamt of for what felt like a lifetime. vilko finally nodded, his finger scratching at the tough stubble under his chin. "that is vexing. have you asked any of his friends?"
what friends does he even have? nahida, yet more of a family figure. you'd heard of albedo and durin whom he met when he parted with you for nod-krai, but was journeying to mondstadt really necessary? would new friends understand his past life more than you?
"i'd say he doesn't get out much."
"ah."
the air was filled with a stifling silence for a short while, save the pensive hums of your new friend. it was nice to share your grievances for once, despite the fact it wouldn't resolve the turmoil you'd face back at home. you shook your head, deciding to take a sip of the tea you'd been offered earlier.
"well, maybe i have a solution."
the liquid nestled somewhere awkward in your throat as you coughed. "what? pfft, vilko, i appreciate the sentiment, but... there isn't really anything to be done, and i can't stay in this cycle forever.
"no, i just— hm. excuse me for this," you were about to protest, but his wrist caught yours, lifting you from the chair like it was second nature. you didn't know what you were expecting, but being dragged to a secluded cottage on the east side of aaru village was not your expectation. if your final moments were destined to be here, there were two people you'd haunt; the kids who left you with him and wanderer, for inspiring this artistic journey to the desert in the first place.
though, you hadn't expected whatever this was. a small, cozy room burrowed under the home. the incense you had smelt on him before was even more pungent here; you'd managed a glimpse of some small vases, each adorned with flowers from natlan. considering it was his hometown, you weren't exactly surprised.
still, your arms raised. "don't kill me. please."
vilko rolled his eyes. "seriously? i take you to a room full of flowers and you think i'm going to hurt you?"
his figure then travelled to the left corner, which allowed you to properly look. despite its homely feel, it actually felt pretty sterile. a small straw bed was placed in the middle, which he then placed a purple pot beside.
"what is that?"
"lie down first. then i talk," he continued to light a small flame under the glass, bursting into a smoke across the room. if he was going to kill you, you were sure he'd do it already. or he was just a madman holding you hostage. regardless, the back of your head met straw quickly.
"this might sound a bit weird, i suppose. i used to live in the masters of the night wind. before i'd left, my mentor had given me this teapot to use. she told me it was to allow people to enter a dream-like state where they could go back into a moment in time. obviously, there's always the chance you won't like what you find, but..."
"is this not better than ending your relationship out of fear of what has already been?"
your gaze drifted to the teapot. the smell of flowers mixed with woody incense flowed through; you could even taste the notes on your lips. maybe this would be the final nail in the coffin; if wanderer discovered what you had done, or if you didn't like what you saw, things would become unmendable. irreparable damage which time would not fix.
still, living in this agonising state of unknowing... it wasn't tolerable. "okay. i'll do the dream thing. thankyou for your offer."
vilko had smiled; though it didn't feel as immature as the previous time you'd seen it. "don't thank me. sweet dreams."
when you properly thought about it, you should've asked more questions. revisiting time with a bowl of glass and incense? how would that even work? could you get back?
"oh my archons—“ you'd jolted with a gasp, expecting a natlanese madman and flowers galore. except... no, he was actually right? you'd felt for your pocket knife just to see the fabric of a kimono. your arm quickly raised; the gold band still remained on your finger, glistening ever so strong.
your feet felt grass and the soft buzz of static. electro. inazuma, then? you could only wonder why as you walked down the dirt path. he'd never mentioned anything about the nation of eternity.
mud from the ground had sullied the edges of your attire at some point, red blisters working their way into your feet. if the time moving tea pot was so smart, surely it could've dropped you off at your destination instead of being so annoying.
though, you had no time to consider that anymore, as the sound of metal bursting against steel rang in your ears. your figure quickly darted behind one of the nearby buildings, before angling to face the swordsmith...
and wanderer, but not wanderer. he didn't possess his teal patterns, or a face which looked like it held the weight of a world. no. if anything, he looked like a naive child experiencing the world for the first time. you could hear the hum of machinery whilst his companion, clearly the more equipped of the two, explained how to refine metals. so wanderer had been a... blacksmith? what was so criminalistic about that?
three hours were spent observing wanderer and his friend. or, rather, you'd learnt people called him kabukimono. he was well appreciated, too. many people visited their shop to buy goods and watch the forging at work. you'd even visited too, technically, even though it was through climbing through a window and hiding in a box.
still, you hadn't expected things to turn so quickly. he had just been sat there at one point; you'd actually wondered why you'd stayed hidden, but some voice in your head begged you to remain. thank archons it did.
"you're not human at all!" you hadn't understood it at first. not till the man had explained, anyway.
a puppet. so your boyfriend, or whoever kabukimono was, wasn't human. it was something you should've realised; he always rested his head on your chest, or let his fingers linger on your wrist, claiming it was to know that you're alive. was it not so he could feel alive, too?
this puppet who ran, ashamed and with hatred in his chest, was not the man who you recognised. not the same person who cooked your breakfast after a long day at the akademiya, or gifted you clothes whilst pretending he didn't know who bought them.
even so, there was an urge to run after him. comfort him. tell him things would work out.
your body had moved to chase him, but the scene of a crying puppet was gone; you were somewhere else. still in the same kimono, but instead stood outside a small house engulfed in flames. wanderer would have probably told you to stay outside and get help. though, if your suspicion was correct, then...
you pushed towards the door, already seeing the puppet stood in the house. your feet moved to the left side of the room; you had been hiding all this time, but could he even see you? probably not.
there lay a body of a young child, strikingly similar to the young man before him. you stared at a forgotten doll on the ground, which also threatened to be engulfed in the flames.
part of you didn't want to see his face. still, your eyes met his saddened ones. in this light, you could faintly see how this puppet was yours. his haircut was the same, shaggily cut like he had no care. if he was never human, he probably wouldn't possess the desire to maintain his outward appearance. or maybe he didn't have to. his lips quivered as his expression darkened, and he turned on his heels.
this time. you'd be sure to catch him. you'd cup his face and tell him he is human, because how could he not be? human isn't about the parts inside, rather the feelings you express. whilst you'd seen far too many variations of his disappointment in this journey, you knew that proved he was just as capable of human emotion as everyone else.
you ran after his figure, about to holler, when your vision blurred. when it corrected, you were yet again in another dreamscape.
how many versions of kabukimono, or wanderer, were there?
your eyes settled on a structure you could only call unholy. a large purple structure had settled itself in... well, this had to be in sumeru. you'd never been involved in fighting before; seeing the traveller pushing blows against your partner made no sense. they were friends: but perhaps time had forged that bond over anything.
truly, you hadn't paid much attention to the combat. your mind was surging with information instead: the balladeer, kunikuzushi, this god-like version of him. in theory, all of these individuals make up the wanderer he is now. it still left you wondering if anyone truly knew about this path he had once crossed. the traveller and nahida were most likely aware; though, you could not imagine anyone else.
the scene before you had ended with 'him' falling from atop the head of his new form, landing into a crash on the floor. you had always imagined his past being full of family tension or a laziness which he regrets. never... this.
silence settled over the old battle ground. you managed to face him with quick speed. once, you had wondered if the past you would find would influence your decision. scorn him, remove him from your life with an icy blade.
but at the end of it all, you didn't see a puppet or someone to be pitied. yes, he had been hurt: but he had also loved, and lost, and transformed into the person he was now.
your mouth opened before your thoughts had time to gather. you hadn't known what name to call him in this dreamscape. he'd been many people, and he wouldn't know the name you called him today. though, you supposed there was one he'd responded to most positively earlier.
you knew it wouldn't work. he wouldn't hear it, because that's the laws of this weird teapot. but still; you couldn't leave before trying.
"kunikuzushi!"
his head raised.
then everything went blurry, or rather normal, considering you woke up to even more incense and vilko staring at you. "agh!" you quickly sat up, looking around the room. flowers. straw bed. your timeline again, at least.
vilko peered at you. "so...? find what you wanted?"
a cold droplet brushed your cheek. had you been crying? whatever the case, you had no time to ponder that now. "vilko, thank you so much, i really have to go— i promise i'll come back when i've sorted everything out!"
your feet had lifted you before he could answer, pacing outside of his small cottage. if you had remained long enough, you would've seen the smirk gracing his face, and the opening of his teapot. he removed the contents, letting the steam release the creases of the nilotpala lotuses stuffed inside.
the journey to sumeru's central city took longer than it should have, or maybe you were just salty that your driver had overcharged you. regardless, you had to find wanderer, though: you had no clue where he'd be at this time of day. the akademiya was an option, and so was the sanctuary of surasthana, but...
"hey, you!"
you turned quickly. "oh, you're—" in your mind, it would've been an emotional reunion, but your expectations quickly plummetted once he grabbed you by the elbow. "ow, ow, ow! what are you doing?"
wanderer scoffed, finally shoving you inside the door of your shared abode and slamming the door behind him. "you're insane if you think i'm going to be all fine with you just taking off for a week and a half without any word apart from some stupid note!" he yelled. "do you have no consideration for anyone else around you? i thought you'd been kidnapped!"
"i did say i was going to the desert in the letter..."
"yeah, but not for this long! and still, why didn't you just tell me in person? is this because of the argument? because i swear to archons sake—“
you'd forgotten all about that. so much has happened since then, in just a short span of time. it's like you've watched five hundred years of growth in the span of seven hours.
with a short smile, you shook your head. "nuh-uh, silly. will you indulge me this once?" you huffed, all your energy going into colliding into him. wanderer grumbled, but still caught your body in his.
"jeez, what were they putting you through down there?"
it was more like what you put yourself through, but it wasn't worth mentioning. for now, being here with him was enough. there may be a day when he learns what you did. he could leave you, or love you, but either result would make your choice worth it. because, at least now, you felt like you understood him a little better.
your hand rested on his shoulder, gold ring blooming from the sun in the window. "you know, i do love you."
he paused. stared down at you like you were some foreign animal.
"i don't expect you to say it back. i just thought you should know." you weren't able to erase his pain, or help him get over that feeling of being inhumane. though, maybe being present was enough.
"i love you too," he rolled his eyes once again, deciding to look over you. "but no more trips to the desert where i find out by note, kay? i'll go with you if needed."
you beamed. "awww, were you worried about me?"
"shut up."