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@lawhound57
Rules
Do:
Send asks about canon events, headcanons, silly things, whatever. Any ship is fine. Use your best judgement, but I’d prefer to keep things rated T.
Ask about anything through Redemption Season 3, I'm all caught up.
If you'd like to follow the mod behind the blog, you can find me at @fromthemouthofkings
Don't:
Take anything I say here as legal advice. Mod does not have a law degree.
Take it too seriously. This is just for fun.
it shouldnt be illegal to kidnap a guy if he looks really sad and you know he would have a better life in captivity
...
@lawhound57
😅 well, you weren't wrong. My life is definitely better now. Thank you for kidnapping me? (That didn't feel right.)
Do stop by my room if you need to have a quiet chat, Mr. Wilson. Or perhaps if you need a shoulder to cry on? Or a hug? - Sophie (@watchmebecomeher)
You know, I might just take you up on that, thank you Sophie. Solo heists garage renovations can be very stressful.
Do you have something to share with the class?
My garage door renovations are going fine, and Eliot is going to get his power tools back just as soon as I can find them in my luggage garage. That I am renovating.
My lawyer (@lawhound57) has advised me to make a statement.
For the record, the rest of the team was not in Paris, either.
don't we.... we have a leverage international team in Paris.
@cgi-yoda-hater hey. have you heard from the voleur team lately?
I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of the voleur team at the Louvre yesterday.
However, I can say that I know @crimeisfun would have trained them better than to drop a piece during the getaway.
if I dropped a piece like that she'd have me hang upside down until I got better
speaking of which, has anyone heard from Tara recently? @thebestlieisthetruth
of course I'm sure she was not in Paris either
Hardison is right. None of our teams would be that sloppy. Or if they did somehow get in over their head like that, they'd reach out and I haven't heard anything.
Have we considered that if somebody did drop a piece during the getaway, they probably feel really embarrassed about it? And that they might have only attempted the job in the first place because a certain thief of their acquaintance dared them to prove that after several years of hard work they had truly earned the title of 'jaunty cat burglar'? And that they could rob a museum by themself this time without getting caught? I mean, they might not have even had a chance yet to return their very intimidating teammate's power tools, yet. I imagine they're probably feeling really silly right about now and a maybe even little bit sensitive about it. Maybe even a little bit nervous. They might have even cried
My lawyer (@lawhound57) has advised me to make a statement.
For the record, the rest of the team was not in Paris, either.
the leverage bois want you to eat!
Food is important!
I’m reading history books and it’s like “and all of these powerful people were lawyers and doctors, as per usual. Anyway, onto the next regime, where different lawyers took power” like I wonder if I can really perceive the gulf between myself before being a lawyer and myself after.
Learning the law is learning a theory of power. Law can’t change everything, humanity will always spill around the corners, but law is the gardener who fertilizes and trims and tries to root out the weeds. I don’t think I fully understood that I was learning how to wield power in law school, because the details of how to do it are in rigorous analysis and historical context, things you have to understand and memorize and then apply to new situations. But what you’re getting is an education on the paradigms that power follows and has historically followed. You’re learning how to take historical and traditional forms of power and use them on modern situations.
And when you get into actual practice, that’s when you learn how to put that power into everyday life. You learn how to write the stupid little special forms and find how Susan the judge’s secretary likes to set cases and how to tease out good outcomes from people who are supposed to oppose you.
And your power is reinforced in so many ways. If a client complains in court about your incompetence, truly, truly, the best response is not to say a word. Because here’s what will happen: the judge will assume the client is a huge pain in the ass who didn’t listen, and you not defending yourself will be taken as a gesture of courtesy and classiness, on top of a preservation of attorney/client confidentiality when the client has effectively waived that confidentiality in open court.
You can even send signals to the judge regarding this without saying anything at all — if you say “I’m not asking to be removed from this case, but my client would like to make a request” it’s the strongest possible signal that you want the judge to ignore them because you think you’re doing a good job and you don’t want to be relieved. If you say “Per my client’s request, I’m asking that I be removed from this case” you’re softening it a little but still signaling that you’re good to go whatever the judge decides, that maybe you let your client criticize you in court because you think they need to get it out of their system, or even that you want the judge to straighten them out on a few points of law. “Unfortunately, judge, there has been an irreparable breakdown of the attorney/client relationship” = fucking get me OUT of here.
Notice in none of these scenarios is there a possibility of me being reprimanded because the client thinks I did a bad job. Even if I outright say “this is my fault, judge, I did a bad job here” the judge will nod and thank me for my honesty and say that I’m a great attorney and that sometimes shit happens.
That’s just the smallest example of how attorneys affirm each other. It’s unprofessional to shittalk other lawyers, so we don’t do that in front of our clients; I make an exception about prosecutors, usually geared towards making the client laugh with how I describe them, but if a client is complaining about an attorney I know I’ll most often compliment that attorney with something I know they do well. “He may have a hard time answering the phone but that guy will find any technicality. He loves loopholes.” “She might be stiff and distant, but you haven’t seen her argue a motion; she’s got your back.” Etc. it’s just how it’s done.
I’ve kind of swerved from my original point. This week I sent a letter to a hospital saying they have to bring me video footage of something or give a damn good reason why or be charged/fined: a subpoena duces tecum. No judge has to approve this. A judge could stop me, but the judge probably won’t even review it until the court date. And at that point, if the judge thinks my request is frivolous, he’s still going to hold the hospital to it, because subpoenas are serious business and that’s the power of the court they would be disobeying if they didn’t do it. The hospital can file to quash, but they better get an attorney on the line, or else they won’t say the right magic words.
I just… did this. Because I thought it was the right move for my client. I even barely did anything: I sent a request to our investigators and paralegals, and the investigator found out exactly who to send it to, and the paralegal wrote the SDT, and the investigator took it by hand and served it on the hospital. All I did was sign to cast the spell that they had written up and prepared.
This ends up translating to a level of confidence in daily life. I’m way more likely to know when technically nobody can stop me from doing x or y, and I know enough police officers to know exactly how to talk to them to make them go away. I know I have personal power in the situation that may be greater than theirs over the long term, even in the short term their guns can win. If anyone committed a crime against me in my old jurisdiction, which was small, I would have an insane advantage in any court hearing.
It’s not hard for me personally to remember that my power over people REQUIRES me to approach them with courtesy and grace, and I establish first thing in every client meeting that my job is to respect them and their priorities. My conscience is extraordinarily strong. This whole process has cultivated my conscience and refined it. I would not be able to live within my skin if I didn’t exercise power for the benefit of people who have no voice.
(Maybe this is why I’m so comfortable talking about and challenging my personal privilege as a white person — like, yeah, that’s also part of it, and the correct response is to use it to elevate the voices and stories of those who don’t have that privilege. I have so much practice doing that as an attorney that it’s a learned skill by this point.)
I have a hard time remembering what I was like before all this. I think more uncomfortable confronting privilege. I think impatient to stop learning and start Doing.
I wonder how much of my confidence now is from doing a lot of failing, losing, and embarrassing myself (all true) and having to pick myself up out of the trash and go in to work again the next day, and how much is that due to my position and my power there were extremely minimal consequences to me personally as a result of those failures. It’s shocking to start to understand how bullet-resistant you are in particular contexts. As long as you move within the rules. As long as you don’t push the wrong way.
God, and I can’t forget soft power skills. How to small talk someone into doing what I want. I’m so good at persuasion now that I talked my ass into a house seller choosing me over a full cash offer. I thought, hell I’m always asking people to let criminals onto the streets, this is easy — and it WAS.
As with many of my long rambles about being a lawyer, no real conclusion to this one. I just wonder how power is changing me.
My mother, who put herself through law school when my brother and I were very young and practiced contract and corporate law for over three decades, used to say that being a lawyer was a lot like being a wizard. You study and you learn and you discover the exact right words to pronounce and in the exact right order—and behold! Things magically happen. She found great joy in those times when she could Make Things Happen for people who were lost or forgotten or being bullied by those in power.
She’s retired now, but she still loves wizards. I’m giving her a Gandalf-themed fountain pen for Christmas this year. It matches her beautiful flowing silver hair.
Just seeing that pic and hearing that minimal context — I am beyond 100% certain that your mom and I would get along so so good. We would be trading stories. We would be laughing. We would be seriously discussing the difficulty of living up to your principles of respecting your client every single day.
Lawyering is absolutely magic. Wizardry is correct. It’s also a little fae. I think public defenders are often paladins, actually, drawing their power from an oath they make in their hearts.
How do you feel about Mr. Harry Wilson? 🤭
I feel like he should shave.
But the beard looks so nice on him! He looks ruggedly handsome, no?
😳 No comment.
Have you ever liked bearded men or never? He seems to like it though.
😳 No comment!
We don't have any rules about facial hair here at Leverage Headquarters. I only make suggestions to Our Mr. Wilson. Just like everyone else on the team. He's free to make his own choices.
Ruggedly handsome, you say? I think I'm going to keep this beard forever.
I didn't say that. But maybe you could convince me to like the beard.
Well, let's give it some time and see. Maybe it will grow on you. It's certainly growing on me.
since you're the new Nate of the group does that mean that you have to have a weird homoerotic relationship with your rival (sterling) and occasionally suffer from hallucinations of said rival appearing in your room ?
I don't think that I could ever hope fill the shoes of the great Nate Ford, but I must say, every day I learn something new about him. (Hallucinations? Is that something I should be looking out for?)
Sophie got asked about your beard recently. She seemed very flustered and blushed a lot!
*strokes beard* oho, this is an exciting development
How do you feel about Mr. Harry Wilson? 🤭
I feel like he should shave.
But the beard looks so nice on him! He looks ruggedly handsome, no?
😳 No comment.
Have you ever liked bearded men or never? He seems to like it though.
😳 No comment!
We don't have any rules about facial hair here at Leverage Headquarters. I only make suggestions to Our Mr. Wilson. Just like everyone else on the team. He's free to make his own choices.
Ruggedly handsome, you say? I think I'm going to keep this beard forever.
so what DID happen at mardi gras?
- @fuckyeahspiritsruse (Breanna)
Well, I don't know if you can relate to this at all, but before Leverage came along, I didn't exactly have very many chances to exercise the more frivolous side of my personality. There's a lot of pressure involved in corporate law. Up and coming evil lawyers sometimes adopt a sort of "work hard, play hard," strategy to deal with it. Not me so much, but some of the people that I knew. And if you're going to party hard in NOLA, Mardi Gras is the time to do it. I used to go down to the big parade every year with a pack of other law students, dress up, have a bit too much to drink, compete to see who could fit the largest collection of beads around our necks, be loud and young and silly and generally let off some steam.
Anyway, one year I brought an open bottle of tequila to the parade by smuggling it down in a...sensitive position in my shorts...and I woke up the next day with nothing but said shorts and the hazy memory of kissing several handsome young men in masquerade masks and glitter.
aw, baby evil lawyer's bi awakening!
...I bet I could find embarrassing pictures
Haha, I don't see how you could possibly do that, I mean, it was a long time ago! Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost faith in your abilities, but...and you already have them pulled up.
Wow, I was young back then. And those shorts are a little bit shorter than what I remembered!
Do you see the person standing next to me, in the one where I'm getting my whole head dunked in the fountain? He was one of my classmates. He works for Baron Oil now...
Wow. Do all evil lawyers wear short shorts? Is it like a rite of passage?
In my defense, my classmate talked me into it. You know, I think in retrospect I was a little bit smitten with him, too. He was the one who suggested that we all wear matching gold shorts, bought them for the whole group, so of course I was going to wear them. It didn't go anywhere, though, because shortly after that picture was taken, he tried to feed a whole pineapple to the horse of one of the NOPD mounted units and got belligerent and disorderly with an officer.
Actually, it's a funny story. I ran into him again a few years ago, after I was already married to Grace. Remember how I said he works for Baron Oil? Well, I was brought in on a case involving a dagger and insurance fraud. The client claimed that he had been set up, but the prosecution had an air-tight case against him and an expert witness willing to verify that the dagger was a fake...anyway, we reconnected, and he said that it was such a hopeless case, that if we won it, he'd divorce his second wife and marry me. But we lost. So. That didn't happen, obviously.
He did. He did what now??
@crimeisfun are you hearing this shit
Do we need to recruit your very gay ex-classmate so he too can have a chance at redemption and embracing his true self?
Maybe this could be a chance for @lawhound57 to get a little experience on the other side of the recruitment drive. We already have an ex-evil lawyer. If this guy really wants redemption then Harry can get through to him on his own.
Oh boy, that is a big task. But I can give it a try. Maybe he'd like to get drinks with me, what do you think?
Prompt : Weird asks that say a lot: #62
62. seven characters you relate to?
Oh boy, seven is a lot. Okay, let's see here...
I've always been a fan of Luke Skywalker. I always enjoy a hero that uses his words more than his fists. I enjoy Captain Picard quite a bit, too, he's always been the type that I aspired to, moreso than like a Captain Kirk. Growing up, I remember I related quite a lot to Ender from Ender's Game. And I like that Daredevil is a lawyer. It's fun to have a lawyer character who's also superhero.
If we're talking about lawyer characters, though, I think Atticus Finch is the one that made the most profound impact on me. My mother gave me To Kill A Mockingbird at an impressionable age, and I always kind of looked up to him. Speaking of classic literature, I read Pride and Prejudice recently on Sophie's recommendation (she wanted to watch the miniseries) and I found myself relating surprisingly to Jane, though Sophie says I'm more of a Bingley.
I don't know if anybody else has seen the show the Librarians? But I also really related to that Flynn Carson character, though I'm not exactly sure that I could tell you why...
prompts
so what DID happen at mardi gras?
- @fuckyeahspiritsruse (Breanna)
Well, I don't know if you can relate to this at all, but before Leverage came along, I didn't exactly have very many chances to exercise the more frivolous side of my personality. There's a lot of pressure involved in corporate law. Up and coming evil lawyers sometimes adopt a sort of "work hard, play hard," strategy to deal with it. Not me so much, but some of the people that I knew. And if you're going to party hard in NOLA, Mardi Gras is the time to do it. I used to go down to the big parade every year with a pack of other law students, dress up, have a bit too much to drink, compete to see who could fit the largest collection of beads around our necks, be loud and young and silly and generally let off some steam.
Anyway, one year I brought an open bottle of tequila to the parade by smuggling it down in a...sensitive position in my shorts...and I woke up the next day with nothing but said shorts and the hazy memory of kissing several handsome young men in masquerade masks and glitter.
aw, baby evil lawyer's bi awakening!
...I bet I could find embarrassing pictures
Haha, I don't see how you could possibly do that, I mean, it was a long time ago! Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost faith in your abilities, but...and you already have them pulled up.
Wow, I was young back then. And those shorts are a little bit shorter than what I remembered!
Do you see the person standing next to me, in the one where I'm getting my whole head dunked in the fountain? He was one of my classmates. He works for Baron Oil now...
Wow. Do all evil lawyers wear short shorts? Is it like a rite of passage?
In my defense, my classmate talked me into it. You know, I think in retrospect I was a little bit smitten with him, too. He was the one who suggested that we all wear matching gold shorts, bought them for the whole group, so of course I was going to wear them. It didn't go anywhere, though, because shortly after that picture was taken, he tried to feed a whole pineapple to the horse of one of the NOPD mounted units and got belligerent and disorderly with an officer.
Actually, it's a funny story. I ran into him again a few years ago, after I was already married to Grace. Remember how I said he works for Baron Oil? Well, I was brought in on a case involving a dagger and insurance fraud. The client claimed that he had been set up, but the prosecution had an air-tight case against him and an expert witness willing to verify that the dagger was a fake...anyway, we reconnected, and he said that it was such a hopeless case, that if we won it, he'd divorce his second wife and marry me. But we lost. So. That didn't happen, obviously.
so what DID happen at mardi gras?
- @fuckyeahspiritsruse (Breanna)
Well, I don't know if you can relate to this at all, but before Leverage came along, I didn't exactly have very many chances to exercise the more frivolous side of my personality. There's a lot of pressure involved in corporate law. Up and coming evil lawyers sometimes adopt a sort of "work hard, play hard," strategy to deal with it. Not me so much, but some of the people that I knew. And if you're going to party hard in NOLA, Mardi Gras is the time to do it. I used to go down to the big parade every year with a pack of other law students, dress up, have a bit too much to drink, compete to see who could fit the largest collection of beads around our necks, be loud and young and silly and generally let off some steam.
Anyway, one year I brought an open bottle of tequila to the parade by smuggling it down in a...sensitive position in my shorts...and I woke up the next day with nothing but said shorts and the hazy memory of kissing several handsome young men in masquerade masks and glitter.
aw, baby evil lawyer's bi awakening!
...I bet I could find embarrassing pictures
Haha, I don't see how you could possibly do that, I mean, it was a long time ago! Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost faith in your abilities, but...and you already have them pulled up.
Wow, I was young back then. And those shorts are a little bit shorter than what I remembered!
Do you see the person standing next to me, in the one where I'm getting my whole head dunked in the fountain? He was one of my classmates. He works for Baron Oil now...
so what DID happen at mardi gras?
- @fuckyeahspiritsruse (Breanna)
Well, I don't know if you can relate to this at all, but before Leverage came along, I didn't exactly have very many chances to exercise the more frivolous side of my personality. There's a lot of pressure involved in corporate law. Up and coming evil lawyers sometimes adopt a sort of "work hard, play hard," strategy to deal with it. Not me so much, but some of the people that I knew. And if you're going to party hard in NOLA, Mardi Gras is the time to do it. I used to go down to the big parade every year with a pack of other law students, dress up, have a bit too much to drink, compete to see who could fit the largest collection of beads around our necks, be loud and young and silly and generally let off some steam.
Anyway, one year I brought an open bottle of tequila to the parade by smuggling it down in a...sensitive position in my shorts...and I woke up the next day with nothing but said shorts and the hazy memory of kissing several handsome young men in masquerade masks and glitter.
