ℓemiaka

[lemiaka]

Loml

Tall. Handsome. Dark hair. Fair skinned. Hard biceps. Chest just enough to rest my face. Smells ysl cologne everytime. Shy then silly. Soft voice. Reserved. Introvert. Cutiee. Political and conservative. Sporty. Classic and old school. Has refine taste. Unique. Calls me daily. Picks me up early. Plans our date. Takes me to any resto I want to. Takes me out of town. Buys me whatever I’m craving. Gives me just because flowers. Has only eyes for me. Sweet. Super duper sweet. The sweetest thing I know. Gentleman through and through. What more can I ask for? Its more than I ever wanted. Theres no better place here than to be with the loml.

[lemiaka]

All these nonsense post here were all just because I’ve been depressed for the past 11 years or since I was 22. But I don’t locked myself up in my bedroom feeling depressed about everything that happened and going on in my life. I’m done sleeping in the dark listening to sad indie playlist and ranting here. I think I’m done being here my-sad-safe-space. Because at last I’m finally happy.

[lemiaka]

I know I had fun and enjoyed my singlehood but everytime I try to recall I can’t remember the lonely parts of my life before him and I don’t know how my life would be without him after. I’ve realized how boring my life had been these past 8 years alone, often times feeling depressed, involving myself in unnecessary drama and attachment from wrong people. Eversince he came, life feels so much better and meaningful. I have so many good things to write how happy my heart has been, but life with him has been so peaceful, so quiet and content that I don’t feel the need to.

[thcartierrug]

[lemiaka]

When you came, suddenly all those heartaches before you become less and less until I’ve forgot what it feels like. Instantly, all the things around me became beautiful and it feels good to live and wakeup everyday. What only matters to me is now, you being here with me. You are every answered prayer, every wishes thats granted. You’re all I’ve ever asked for. I couldn’t be more happier than being yours. You, and your softness and gentleness. I couldn’t get enough of you. I could talk about you all day. I couldn’t thank God enough how lucky and grateful I am by having you in my life. My heart is full and happy. You’re the happiest place I’ve ever been.

[pisces-amor]

[tito-sawi]

[lemiaka]

You have seen it, haven’t you?

that was why you went mia

and pretended not to know

but those photos

crawl into your skin with ache

the one you laughed about

not believing her

well its here

right in front of your face

slapping you with a bitter truth

that she, can fall inlove

that she, can find someone better

that she is with someone new

someone better than you

someone who can love her truly

someone who can give her

everything you cannot

and you can’t accept the defeat

that she’s doing better

that she’s getting happier

without you

it drives you nuts, doesn’t it?

the desperation of

pretending to be someone

we all know you’re not

in disguise that you are happy too

don’t bother anymore

for I seek no revenge

I’m in a better place

Happiest I could ever be

with the most loving person

I could ever meet

I’m so happy

I’m so inlove

I’m so grateful

I know I’ve won

having all these blessings around me

so thanks for the pain

you lead me here

So no

thanks for the lesson

and memories but

you don’t matter anymore

you’re not even half

of what he’s made of

You’re just a laughing stock now

[thcartierrug]

[lemiaka]

“He kissed me, so gently at first that I melted. I pressed close against him as the kiss deepened, curling my arms around his neck and tumbling into pure sensation. The softness of his hair as I ran my fingers through it; his arms, hands on my skin, caressing me. It felt so, so good. I'd been afraid that I'd never have this again--this sense of being so achingly alive that every nerve ending was on fire.”

― L.A. Weatherly, Angel

[lemiaka]

But this is the only way I know how to cope up. In distance. In isolation. In silence. In my dark room listening to my sad indie playlist. A way to hug my insecurities tight and drown myself in deep sadness. You must know before you came, I’ve been like this for more than a decade. You made me the happiest but not today. For you are the reason why I’m in this cave again.

[danceoftheswans]

[cavlas-deactivated20250412]

[mysterieuxclairdelune]

{David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest/ Friedrich Nietzsche, from a letter to Malwida von Meysenbug wr. c. 1876/ Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters/ IDK You Yet, Song by Alexander 23/ Robert Desnos/ Albert Camus, from a letter to María Casares written c. June 1944/ Emily Brontë, from The Collected Novels; "Wuthering Heights,"/ Caroline George, Dearest Josephine/ Srinivas Mishra/ Unknown/ Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, Christmas, 1948/ Unknown}

[lemiaka]

[lemiaka]

14 ♥️

[lemiaka]

L,

I couldn’t look away from the way you exist. I couldn’t believe that after a very long time, that everything I ever wanted, was just sitting next to me. Now I understand why I had to go through those heartbreaks and why it never worked out with them. Why I had to wait patiently. Because they all lead me to you and you came just right on time. You made it all sense why its you and why I am meant for you. You are the one that I’ve been waiting for. The one I reserved myself for. So, how could I not choose you? How could I stop myself from loving you? When everytime you keep proving yourself that you are every prayer I asked God for these past seven years.