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Jus nou drein jus daun
“You’re right, Clarke,” Lexa replied. They did need to work together. Obstacles faced the futures of both of their people. Ice Nation was still a looming threat, even more so now that the Sky People had forsaken the protection offered to them by Trikru. Lexa took a step back towards Clarke, “It is not only you who has changed in your time away from your people. They have changed without your guidance.” Lexa didn’t want to suggest that Clarke return to her people, but it was true that they needed her guidance.
Much to the dismay of many of Clarke’s people, Lexa knew, Clarke was the real leader of the Sky People on the ground. She had always spearheaded their planning, and made political decisions. When Clarke had abandoned Arcadia, she left it without a decisive leader, and without a leader who truly understood the ground. Kane and Indra had worked well as Ambassadors leading up to the Summit and had made considerable progress in Clarke’s absence, but not everyone followed their lead.
“We must bring both our people back to the path,” Lexa declared. She had let too much of her empire get out of her hands among all the controversy in Polis. Sometimes it was easy to lose track of her lands when so much happened in the Capital. It frustrated her constantly, that she had no way to police her lands. “But how?”
Originally posted by umdiaquepassa
The commander was so wise, had worked so hard, and she didn’t know how to solve this situation. Clarke knew that Lexa saw her as a political equal, and in many ways, she was. But as much as Clarke had requested that Lexa fight for peace, change her culture, not avenge the deaths of 300 of her warriors, she didn’t have all the answers.
“I don’t know…” she said. A part of her knew that it would make sense to return to her people. The same people who she needed to smuggle into Arkadia to speak to…she could still feel the handcuffs against her wrists, how vulnerable she felt. How angry Bellamy was, how much he blamed her for everything that had happened. She blamed herself too, but it was even more difficult to hear her own friend accuse her. Her own friend who had killed so many people sent to protect him.
She put her people first. But the more she thought about going back to them, negotiating with Pike, persuading them to choose the path of peace, to stop the madness…the more she wished she could be someone else for a while. Someone who could go back to Polis without a guilty conscience, who could make decisions for herself. “Let’s announce your decision first. Deal with whatever comes next together.” She paused. “And I will probably have to go back to my people.”
Lexa’s jaw tensed slightly, hidden from Clarke as the sky girl stood behind her shoulder. “Of course. Your people need you once again.” Lexa knew this to be true, but she did not want to accept it. Clarke’s first priority was always the peace and safety of her people. As Lexa’s was the power and productivity of her own. She understood deeply the weight of duty that Clarke felt on her shoulders. She thought sometimes that they must be the only two people on this plant that understood their burden.
And for that, Heda’ needed her. With Clarke, she did not have to be alone. Clarke understood the weight of her duty and always accepted her role as leader of her people and its consequences. Her care did not hinder her ability to be a strong and just Heda. It enhanced it. It challenged it. It tested her. Clarke tested her.
“A new Ambassador from the 13th clan will have to be sent back to Polis.” Lexa announced firmly, turning to face Clarke, taking that stance of the commander, “When you go,” Lexa specified. “Someone will be needed to represent SkaiKru on the council.” Lexa looked at Clarke with flat eyes. Trying to hide any emotion she might have about the change. Just as Clarke so naturally understood the duties of her as Heda, she must accept Clarke’s duties as the true Commander of her people. She had to remain detached in these matters.
Jus nou drein jus daun
Lexa Stared into Clarke’s eyes for a moment longer before breaking away. She turned away from the Sky Girl, Clarke’s hand falling from her arm. She paced further into the tent, contemplating. So many things were swarming around in Heda’s head. She too worried and calculated endlessly, but she tried not to show it, unlike the Sky Girl. “I have let the deaths of nearly 1,000 of my people go improperly avenged since you have come into my world, Ambassador.” Lexa danced her fingertips through the flames of the candles on the small side table before her, looking at it flicker, feeling the heat against her skin.
Lexa squared her jaw and turned back to face Clarke, arms clasped behind her back. “But you are right, Clarke. I cannot continue to lead my people into darkness and bloodshed.” Lexa breathed deep. She had seen years of war. She had brought years of peace, such as it was. There was always fighting between clans and villages. It was the way of her people. But how could she offer her people any security if she continued to encourage violence? While the way of her people held honor, it held no stability. Clarke dreamed of rebuilding a long lost world, and Lexa wanted to believe in her dream.
Originally posted by lovelikethemuses
A thousand people. A thousand people with names, with hopes, with dreams, with families, with people who loved and cared about them. A thousand people who fought for their people and their land. For their Heda. For the woman standing in front of Clarke, gently placing her long, slender fingers over the flames. (And this wasn’t the first time Clarke had noticed that Lexa had a particular attachment to candles.)
All Lexa had asked for was Finn’s death. An excruciating price. Clarke had killed him out of mercy, and she felt the responsibility of all the villagers he slaughtered. Felt the loss of all the warriors that Lexa had sent only to be massacred by Clarke’s people. She represented her people, and thus carried the burden of their deeds. Of all the deaths left unavenged. Of all the future deaths that Clarke begged Lexa to leave unavenged.
“I need to lead my people out of darkness and bloodshed,” Clarke said. “I don’t understand…how they could do this. These aren’t the actions of the people I left after Mount Weather.” She looked at the floor. Ashamed of her people, ashamed to be their ambassador, that she had worked so hard to protect them. That she would continue to fight for peace and safety for them. As much as she had wanted to after witnessing the horror on the field earlier that day, Clarke couldn’t turn her back on her people. Not really. Everything she had done was for them.
“We need to work together for peace. For everyone.”
“You’re right, Clarke,” Lexa replied. They did need to work together. Obstacles faced the futures of both of their people. Ice Nation was still a looming threat, even more so now that the Sky People had forsaken the protection offered to them by Trikru. Lexa took a step back towards Clarke, “It is not only you who has changed in your time away from your people. They have changed without your guidance.” Lexa didn’t want to suggest that Clarke return to her people, but it was true that they needed her guidance.
Much to the dismay of many of Clarke’s people, Lexa knew, Clarke was the real leader of the Sky People on the ground. She had always spearheaded their planning, and made political decisions. When Clarke had abandoned Arcadia, she left it without a decisive leader, and without a leader who truly understood the ground. Kane and Indra had worked well as Ambassadors leading up to the Summit and had made considerable progress in Clarke’s absence, but not everyone followed their lead.
“We must bring both our people back to the path,” Lexa declared. She had let too much of her empire get out of her hands among all the controversy in Polis. Sometimes it was easy to lose track of her lands when so much happened in the Capital. It frustrated her constantly, that she had no way to police her lands. “But how?”
Jus nou drein jus daun
Lexa knew she was making one of the heaviest decisions she would ever make as Commander; one of the most volatile. She was declaring that a strong and noble people must change a long standing tradition. Clarke was right. The world must change. Lexa had already made unprecedented peace in the land. However, this was something new. This would change everything.
Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes, feeling her touch on her arm. She could see the hope and the fear mixed in Clarke’s eyes. The Sky Girl needed this for her people. She was saving them once again. But she was trying to save Lexa’s too. “Leave us,” Lexa asserted, not breaking eye contact with Clarke. She needed to talk to her alone. “Heda-” Indra began to protest. “Out!” she snapped, still not breaking contact with the Sky Girl. Indra’s jaw clenched, but she bowed her head and left the tent, the other soldiers following her. Lexa heard the tent flap slap closed, and she allowed softness and her own uncertainty to seep into her eyes. She breathed deep. She felt frozen in this moment with Clarke, her hand hesitant on her arm, Clarke’s eyes pleading and thanking her. “I hope you are right about this, Ambassador.”
Clarke swallowed and stared at the tent flap for a long while. Indra had been badly injured. She doubted anyone from Arkadia would come this way, but Clarke worried about Indra’s well being and had meant to keep an eye on her at all times. To make sure her wounds were probably bandaged and healing quickly. Even injured, though, Indra was a better fighter than any of the Sky People. They knew it too: that’s why they were cowardly enough to attack at night. With guns. Slaughtering 300 people in their sleep. Clarke wanted to throw up every time she thought about it.
“I know how hard this is for you,” Clarke said, and looked into Lexa’s eyes. If she were in Heda’s shoes, she too, would contemplate getting revenge. Everything she had ever done was to fight for and protect her people. As a commander, it was expected for Lexa to seek out revenge, to get justice for her people. For the innocent ones massacred by the same people they came to protect. By Clarke’s people. By her friends.
“But I know it’s the only way. To protect all of our people.” With all the blood-soaked history between Grounders and Sky People, Clarke could only too easily predict the future. More fields covered in dead bodies. More guns and knives and swords stained in blood. More of her friends dying in her arms. Her nightmares would only worsen. Everything she and Lexa had worked for had vanished, and she couldn’t let that happen.
Lexa Stared into Clarke’s eyes for a moment longer before breaking away. She turned away from the Sky Girl, Clarke’s hand falling from her arm. She paced further into the tent, contemplating. So many things were swarming around in Heda’s head. She too worried and calculated endlessly, but she tried not to show it, unlike the Sky Girl. “I have let the deaths of nearly 1,000 of my people go improperly avenged since you have come into my world, Ambassador.” Lexa danced her fingertips through the flames of the candles on the small side table before her, looking at it flicker, feeling the heat against her skin.
Lexa squared her jaw and turned back to face Clarke, arms clasped behind her back. “But you are right, Clarke. I cannot continue to lead my people into darkness and bloodshed.” Lexa breathed deep. She had seen years of war. She had brought years of peace, such as it was. There was always fighting between clans and villages. It was the way of her people. But how could she offer her people any security if she continued to encourage violence? While the way of her people held honor, it held no stability. Clarke dreamed of rebuilding a long lost world, and Lexa wanted to believe in her dream.
Jus nou drein jus daun
“Then let it be known: blood must not have blood.”
Heda sounded stern, almost frightening, in her conviction. She commanded the attention of everyone everywhere she went. Not just because she was Heda, the most powerful person on earth, but because her sheer presence gave off confidence, gave off wisdom.
Clarke had never been scared of her—she had always challenged her, questioned her—but in moments like this, she could see why others would be. Even Indra, not easily intimidated, seemed to almost flinch when Lexa demanded her loyalty. But more importantly to Clarke, she was almost taken aback by how quickly Lexa had agreed with her. From the beginning of her alliance with Lexa, she knew all too painfully how integral “blood must have blood” was to her, to her people, her culture. She would not easily forget kissing Finn, sobbing, as she plunged the knife into him. Her hands covered in blood, which she couldn’t imagine would ever wash off. Her hands would always be covered in blood.
Just like Bellamy’s were. Just like Pike’s. She couldn’t believe this of her own people. She had worked so hard for so long to make peace, to represent her people, to keep them safe. She had become the Commander of Death so they wouldn’t have to be. And what did they do as soon as she was gone? Kill the very group of people sent there by Lexa to protect them? To ensure their role as the thirteenth clan was secure and peaceful? Why couldn’t they understand?
Bellamy had pulled the lever with her in Mount Weather. Surely he knew the same burdens that Clarke did, surely he too was haunted by the faces of the dying whenever he closed his eyes. The sounds of innocent children screaming. How dare he blame her for leaving them, for his choices? How could he possibly continue killing the innocent—after everything they’d been through?
“Thank you,” she murmured and gently touched Lexa’s arm. To let her know how much this meant to her. How they would continue to work for peace together, against all the odds.
Lexa knew she was making one of the heaviest decisions she would ever make as Commander; one of the most volatile. She was declaring that a strong and noble people must change a long standing tradition. Clarke was right. The world must change. Lexa had already made unprecedented peace in the land. However, this was something new. This would change everything. Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes, feeling her touch on her arm. She could see the hope and the fear mixed in Clarke’s eyes. The Sky Girl needed this for her people. She was saving them once again. But she was trying to save Lexa’s too. “Leave us,” Lexa asserted, not breaking eye contact with Clarke. She needed to talk to her alone. “Heda-” Indra began to protest. “Out!” she snapped, still not breaking contact with the Sky Girl. Indra’s jaw clenched, but she bowed her head and left the tent, the other soldiers following her. Lexa heard the tent flap slap closed, and she allowed softness and her own uncertainty to seep into her eyes. She breathed deep. She felt frozen in this moment with Clarke, her hand hesitant on her arm, Clarke’s eyes pleading and thanking her. “I hope you are right about this, Ambassador.”
Dreams of the Commanders | 3
Lexa blocked Luna’s oncoming attack with her wooden sword. The play swords clashed, and Lexa used hers to shove her opponent off. She ducked away from Luna’s next attack, spinning off and trying to strike Luna from the side. Her opponent met her sword, and slid Lexa’s off the end, forcing space between them.
The two girls circled each other, and Lexa caught Heda Hennessy watching them out of the corner of her eye. She had another man standing next to her; one Lexa had never seen before, though he was dressed in the armor of the Commanders and bore the Commander’s mark between his brows. Lexa furrowed her brow, trying to understand.
Luna charged at her, sword raised, and Lexa pulled her attention back to the fight. Luna raised her sword and swung down towards Lexa’s head. She met the attack with her own sword perpendicular. They were locked against each other, each trying to push into each other’s space.
“She is strong,” a male voice floated to her. Lexa’s eyes darted to the two Commanders again.
“Luna is stronger,” Hennessy replied nonchalantly.
Lexa gritted her teeth, determined to show Heda that she was wrong. She took one hand from the pummel of her sword and gripped the wooden blade of Luna’s. A growl ripped out of her as she forced Luna off, causing her to stumble back.
“Lexa is stronger of mind,” the male voice came to her again.
“Strong minds do not win conclaves, Jode,” Hennessy countered, her voice carrying a note of exasperation as she watched over the girls, arms clasped behind her back.
“Weak minds cannot Command.”
Thinking about home?
Originally posted by commander-lexa
Thinking about whether Arkadia is home. When I left, it had a different name. I was different.
You left a hero to your people. And you return one.
Correct me if I’m wrong Ambassador, but bloodlines do not transfer across emotional connections.
Originally posted by missingpage5
You’re right. *pauses* we should reach Arkadia soon.
Thinking about home?
Clarke, it doesn’t run in family lines. No Heda has ever had a child.
Originally posted by 1brokenheartmuseum
In some ways…Aden seemed to look to you as a mother figure.
Correct me if I'm wrong Ambassador, but bloodlines do not transfer across emotional connections.
It’s the first act of the warrior. To find out if you’ve been chosen by the spirits of the Commanders.
Originally posted by tinakris
I’m sure there’s a scientific explanation behind black blood…perhaps a genetic trait.
Clarke, it doesn't run in family lines. No Heda has ever had a child.
Never for Granted
It always came back to her people for Clarke. Lexa knew this. Lexa knew that was who Clarke was and what she stood for. But a part of her hope that, just this once, Clarke had done it for her. She finished replacing the bandage on Lexa’s hand and placed it gently back into her lap. Lexa met her eyes, giving the Sky girl a silent thank you.
Clarke’s next words caught her off guard, and her eyes turned somber as they looked into Clarke’s. It was a valid question. One Lexa had been avoiding in her own head, because she didn’t wan to think of the truth of it herself. “They were doing what they believed was right for their people too,” She said softly, her eyes locked on Clarke’s. Saying it out loud hurt. Her subjects didn’t think she was the right leader for their people. Lexa had put the law in place that the ambassadors could remove a Heda from power. She had never imagined that it might fall back on her. She only wanted to be just and true to her people. She ever suspected her people might not be true to her.
Lexa kept her eyes locked with Clarke’s, trying to read what she saw there. Confusion and sadness and understanding that she wished she didn’t see. But she knew that Clarke did understand where the other ambassadors were coming from, because Lexa had betrayed her once. She had forsaken the Sky People and left them to die. Left Clarke to single-handedly kill hundreds; even those who had helped her. Had it been a different time, Clarke likely would have stood against her as well.
No matter how hurt and confused Clarke still was, she couldn’t look away from Lexa’s gaze. She saw just as much hurt in the Commander’s eyes. Hurt by her ambassadors, those she trusted to back her leadership, and hurt by her and her own actions. Both of them had made impossible choices. Both of them knew that no amount of words could make up for how sorry they were for the things they had done for their people.
Our people.
But Clarke had finished replacing Lexa’s bandage—was pleased with the work that she did—and didn’t know what else to say. She needed time to be alone, to reflect on how conflicted she felt. Why she felt so drawn to her, why everything in her heart wanted to forgive her completely when intellectually, she knew to always be cautious and careful. To not let anyone in. To never trust an ally who left her to die. That she was, truly, staying in Polis for her people.
Once Lexa’s position was re-secured, once Clarke felt confident that her work here as an ambassador was done, that Skaikru was fully acknowledged as the thirteenth clan, she could go back to Arkadia. See her friends again. But after how she left them, she doubted she would receive much of a warm welcome. Wanheda was a lonely and thankless role.
Clarke finally stood up, though continued to look into Lexa’s eyes as much as possible. “Reshop Heda,” she said. It was the first time she had spoken to her in Trigedasleng, the first time she had referred to her as Heda. She knew how important Lexa’s culture and language was to her. She hoped Lexa would understand all that she was trying to convey in those two simple words.
Lexa was slightly put off to see Clarke stand. She wasn't ready for this encounter to be over. She didn't want Clarke to dismiss her. Lexa looked up at her, waiting to see what she would say. Dreading that Clarke would send her away. Lexa was caught even more off guard at what Clarke actually said. Her dismissal didn't seem so harsh in the grounder tongue. She had never heard Clarke speak Trigedasleng before. A smile danced at the edge of Lexa's lips and she stood, keeping her eyes locked with Clarke's. "Good night, Ambassador." She returned, and as she looked into the Sky Girl's eyes, she knew there was a connection there. They were parting ways, for now, but they would leave something lingering between them. Today had changed them. Today, they had changed each other. Lexa turned and walked slowly towards the door, feeling her feet pad against the cold, smooth concrete floor. It was a feeling she had loved since she was a little girl, but tonight, it felt like walking on air. As Lexa grasped the door handle, she looked back at Clarke, offering her one last smile. Clarke was her ally. The only Ambassador who had stood by her. The only one Lexa cared if she ever stood by her side.
Its an honor.
Originally posted by raccoonhearteyes
To cut open children’s hands…take them away from their families…
It's the first act of the warrior. To find out if you've been chosen by the spirits of the Commanders.
Never for Granted
Lexa gave a soft smile at Clarke’s chiding. It was true, Lexa brought up her own death fairly often. It was all she knew. As a child, a natblida novitiate, it had always been ‘When Heda dies…’. All of them were just biding time, training and getting stronger, and waiting for their mentor to die so that one of them could take her place. That was just how it was. And once she had become Commander, it had always been about what she would achieve before her own death, preparing her own flock of Natblidas to fill her shoes when she was gone. Commanders never lived long. Lexa had one of the longest reigns of any Commander since the first, and part of her could feel the end of it drawing near.
Silence fell between them for a moment as Clarke tore a length of cloth for Lexa’s bandage. The smile faded from Lexa’s face as Clarke cradled her hand again. She had come here for a reason. She had to find a way to both thank and apologize to Clarke. She had thrown her imminent death in Clarke’s face. Heda wouldn’t have been surprised if Clarke hadn’t shown up for the fight. She would have deserved it. She knew that Clarke hated how she treated her death so nonchalantly. To Lexa, it was something that had always been coming. To Clarke it was the loss of her greatest ally. “Thank you for backing me,” Lexa breathed softly, watching Clarke’s gentle and meticulous work on her wound. The gash in her hand was a small price to pay to be sitting here with the Sky Girl now.
Heda rarely smiled. So when she did so in response to Clarke’s smart remark, Clarke paid attention to it. It made the difference between Lexa as Heda and Lexa as Lexa—this girl with long, flowing hair and a nightgown with a slit in it—so much more jarring. Clarke found herself wishing she could make Lexa smile like this all the time.
But as she went back to wrapping the wound, the context of their conversation brought her back to earth. They were allies first and foremost. An alliance that had too recently been broken and then reconciled. She had been through too much—hurt by everyone who she had loved—to let herself forgive Lexa this easily. She had to remind herself of the political ramifications first and foremost. Her people first.
“I was just doing what was best for my people,” she said. Then she paused, and contemplated how to let Lexa know what she was thinking about. She wanted so much to forgive her. Lexa had bowed to her, vowed to her…clearly cared so much about her. But the betrayal hurt so much. If Lexa had just given her time, fought by her side…
“Your Ambassadors betrayed you. How do you move forward?”
It always came back to her people for Clarke. Lexa knew this. Lexa knew that was who Clarke was and what she stood for. But a part of her hope that, just this once, Clarke had done it for her. She finished replacing the bandage on Lexa’s hand and placed it gently back into her lap. Lexa met her eyes, giving the Sky girl a silent thank you.
Clarke’s next words caught her off guard, and her eyes turned somber as they looked into Clarke’s. It was a valid question. One Lexa had been avoiding in her own head, because she didn’t wan to think of the truth of it herself. “They were doing what they believed was right for their people too,” She said softly, her eyes locked on Clarke’s. Saying it out loud hurt. Her subjects didn’t think she was the right leader for their people. Lexa had put the law in place that the ambassadors could remove a Heda from power. She had never imagined that it might fall back on her. She only wanted to be just and true to her people. She ever suspected her people might not be true to her.
Lexa kept her eyes locked with Clarke’s, trying to read what she saw there. Confusion and sadness and understanding that she wished she didn’t see. But she knew that Clarke did understand where the other ambassadors were coming from, because Lexa had betrayed her once. She had forsaken the Sky People and left them to die. Left Clarke to single-handedly kill hundreds; even those who had helped her. Had it been a different time, Clarke likely would have stood against her as well.
Legacy
Lexa took two paces past Aden after he stopped, and turned to face him. Her face was serious. She knew Aden was an attentive learner, and most attentive to her. But he was too old to be an impression able child, and he showed that in his questions. “No, Aden, they are not our enemies,” Lexa told him. “They were once, in a time when our peoples felt threatened by each other. When we knew nothing of the other. But to be threatened by the unknown is to be a coward.” She told him. Lexa swallowed, looking down for an instant. She was about to share something with Aden which she was not proud of, but if he was to one day be Heda, he must understand the weight of a Commander’s decisions. “Skaikru marched with us at Mount Weather, and I betrayed them because I believed that there was no other choice. It was the biggest act of cowardess I have ever committed, and it is why, now, so many doubt the Skaikru. They are associated with my weakness. But they can give us so many strengths.”
Aden could have scolded himself over his questions, knowing he should have been better, but wanted to show he was a quick learner, and didn’t let it hold him back. Aden listened to Lexa explain what she did, nodding as he took in the information. “You did what was best for our people at the time, you saved them. freed them form the Mountain Men. I am certain Skaikru understands. Leaders make the tough calls. I would have done the same as you, Heda” Aden spoke, hoping to provide some form of comfort, he didn’t like to see Lexa second guess herself, or be upset over her actions, and hopefully show her he was willing to make the those toughest of calls. “Just as the 12 clans joined, we are stronger together. We are stronger with Skaikru. Our people will see that, we just have to show them” Aden said, standing up straighter, as he looked at Lexa. Hoping she was happy with his response. Knowing that the Heda had to be good on and off the battlefield.
“No you would not,” Lexa snapped in response to Aden saying he would have done the same at the Mountain. It infuriated her, but she tried to calm herself, knowing that he was only trying to comfort her. He looked to her so highly, and sometimes it threw Lexa off. She needed to teach him to think more for himself. “My actions at the Mountain were a disgrace. Never, ever, betray an ally Aden. Clarke’s actions show that we would have saved out people with or without calling a truce against the mountain. I didn’t see her strengths at the time, but I know better now. To align yourself with another is a sacred pact, and you never betray your allies.”
Lexa took a breath to calm herself, but Aden’s further words did an even better job. “Exactly Aden, we are stronger with Skaikru, and that is why I am going to offer Wanheda something; something that the their clans may not agree with, but which our coalition needs.” Lexa looked straight into the boys eyes, trying to stress the importance of what she was about to say, “At the Summit, I am going to offer Skaikru a place among the coalition. An opportunity to become the 13th clan.”
There’s a ceremony that is performed on all the children when the scouts come through. They gather all the children in the village over 5 years old. They bring them all into the village center and make them cut their palms. If they have the night blood, they’re taken immediately and sent to Polis.
Originally posted by danasoupchef
That sounds horrible.
Its an honor.
*thinks for a moment* I remember the ceremony… Finding out I was a Natblida. And moving to Polis. *drifts off, silent for a moment* Training to be Heda. That’s all I ever knew.
Originally posted by makemysoulache
How did you find out you were a natbilda?
There's a ceremony that is performed on all the children when the scouts come through. They gather all the children in the village over 5 years old. They bring them all into the village center and make them cut their palms. If they have the night blood, they're taken immediately and sent to Polis.
