Do I like women? she finds herself questioning once again as she notices her own lingering stare at very pretty girls, specifically, a very intelligent-eyed short-haired girl across the cafeteria. Fuck, she always swept the thought away because, no, she isn’t gay, yes, she does like boys. Right?
“Psst,” someone hisses, making her jump in her seat, making her head swivel around to glare at an annoying grin directed her way. “What is it, Inuzuka?” she spits out, regarding the shaggy haired boy with a raise of her brow.
“What’s got you starin’ at the Nara over there, got any ideas?” Kiba murmurs, brows raising suggestively, his tone intoning mischief. She suppresses her very strong urge of hitting the boy upside the back of his head, instead directing a scowl back. “And what implies in your dumb as shit brain that I’m thinking about Nara?”
Her very not thought out response makes her wince, her eyes looking up to Shino who’s regarding her with an amused little smile, showing that her failed attempt of changing the subject was very obvious. “Sasuke.”
“Kiba.” she grounds out, exhaling, turning back to the boy.
“Do you like girls? Ya know, tits and all?” she avoids his eyes, feeling her shoulders raise defensively, eyes covered by a curtain of her bangs. “Sas? you know it’s fine, we won’t judge you.”
She for once, let’s her tough mask fall down, bringing vulnerable dark eyes up to meet Kiba’s equally as black eyes, expecting disgust or some form of mockery, only to see sincere ones. Her eyes dart to her other boy bestfriend, Shino giving a supporting nod.
She scoots closer on the bench she’s seated on, pulling the two boys across her closer to the table, ducking her head closer to their faces. She breathes deeply, collecting her thoughts, letting Shino pat her arm comfortingly in the mean time. She inhales, “I might, I think? I mean,” she exhales, before continuing on a low voice, “they’re just so pretty, you know? and I like staring at them and they make me feel like something, I don’t know, maybe I like girls, I really think so, I’m not sure yet, but it just feels so right,” she breathes out quietly, confusion tainting her tone, but a tone of assured, unwavering belief hidden underneath.
She looks up to the two, watching her two childhood friends meet each other’s eyes, before looking back to her, both sporting giddy smiles. “We know.”
She doesn’t hesitate smacking the two of them at the same time, barking out a free laugh, relief flooding her veins. Of course they do, they know each other like the back of their hands. Still, she throws her arms around the two of them, secured and safe, comforted by the two pairs of arms hugging her back, knowing her these two will stay with her until the end.
The moment ended when Kiba snorts, “But you have to still pretend for our arranged marriage, dickhead,” She only reaches up to ruffle his hair, “I’m honestly getting tired of it, dipshit, your face is so unsightly and plain.” gaining a disgruntled face from the male, making their group crack up in laughter. She’d have to worry about it on the future, but right now? she wouldn’t trade them for the world.
Sasuke bounds up the stairs in a sedate pace, her shoes scuffing against the concrete steps on the side of the court, bomber jacket thrown on her shoulder. A focused brunette shivers on the cold plastic of the benches, a thin oversized sweater providing no comfort. She huffs, rolling her eyes at the (very pretty) image in front of her, draping her jacket around the girl.
The brunette snaps her head towards her, pinning intent and observant eyes that makes her heart skip multiple beats. She offers a smirk, using the hem of her shirt to wipe the sweat by her temple. “First time seeing you here,” she starts, dropping the shirt, and landing her ass on the equally as cold seat.
Shikamaru’s eyes dart on the normally gruff and scowling girl. Eyes drinking in the sight of a carefree smile and heart aching because, holy fuck, she’s everything. She instead, offers a coy smile, blowing on the stray brown strands in front of her face. She jabs a thumb on Naruko’s direction, saying in a seemingly deadpan voice, “I came to support my friend.”
Dark eyes dart to the side, following the direction, only to snort, “I’d thought Naruko out of all people would remind you to bring a jacket.” She shrugs an elbow to the jacket hanging limply, “I was disappointed that a pretty girl like you is left out cold here, don’t want you to freeze now, do we?”
“Thank you, Uchiha.” Shikamaru drawls uninterested, making the girl look around her shoulder. “Sasuke.”
The brunette quirks an inquiring brow, “What do you mean?”
“Call me Sasuke.” She rushes to say, “And I’d like to know you more, sweetheart.”
Sasuke exhales deeply, hands holding on her knees tightly as she regains her breath. A whistle of “that’s our girl!” echoes in the indoor stadium, as the whistle signaling the end of the game screeches. The adrenaline rushes out, various students of their college running down the stairs to hug the sweaty, exhausted players.
Kiba claps her on the back, grinning wide, as Shino hands her a full, ice-cold tumbler of water, just the way she likes it. “Drink up, and we’ll go to that dango shop you love to go to.” She groans, closing her eyes, as flaps her shirt up and down, letting cool air hit the warm spot on her stomach, icky with sweat. She startles when a tentative arm reaches around her, opening dark ones to meet chocolate ones.
“I think you deserve to have an exchange, hm?” Pretty-brunette-girl hums on her temple, cheek brushing against hers, as arms secure a cashmere sweater around her hips, hiding her shorts. Nara, that’s the name. She opens her mouth to start something, only to stop when the warmth enveloping her disappears.
A murmured, “Shikamaru,” goes through her ears, louder than the beating of her lungs against her ribcage.
Kiba and Shino exchange snickers in the background.
The two of them continue to meet up, whether coincidental or when Naruko drags Shikamaru with, but Sasuke doesn’t mind, in fact, she’s happy her best friend does so.
After practice banter, or opinionated debates about waffles or pancakes, or just plain fooling around. She adores every moment with the brunette. Spending time to read the books Shikamaru recommends her, or trying out coffee that caused her to drink it daily, much to the intelligent woman’s amusement.
Or lighthearted rustling on the grass, leaving Sasuke wrapping her arms around the out of breath Shikamaru on top of her. Or letting Shikamaru run their hands on her long tousled hair, also letting her tuck messy brown strands behind Shikamaru’s ear.
Or the lingering arms around each other’s waist as they pass through corridors, or the hours that pass by because they’re just enjoying the quiet and comfort of one another, watching the clouds go by.
A short-tuft full of hair makes itself known on the crook of her shoulder, her own dark strands graping over the other girl’s head. She leans her head against the mellow breathing of the girl on her side, a sense of calm and comfort grounding her, relaxed. She’s fallen in love.
"I didn't think I’d see Shikamaru Nara smoking of all things," she drawls teasingly. She stops her steps, breath matching Shikamaru's, in for a breath, and out for one. the brunette looks at her with fond brown eyes, voice rasping, "and what're you gonna do about it?"
She can only inhale, even if the smoke in her lungs protests, even if her eyes sting, she meets brown eyes levelly, murmuring a hoarse, and honest to god whisper of "Nothing," to the dark of the night.
She licks her dry lips, before snatching the cigarette, and taking a deep drag, flicking it down on the ground. She turns, back facing the short-haired girl, saying, "but that doesn't mean i won't stop you from time to time." She breathes out, smoke fogging her vision, looking at molten chocolate looking through her, heart lurching.
"So there's a next time?" the questions hangs from equally dry lips, which she answers with a sure tone, "Of course there is."
“Always?” Smoke mingles between them, “Always.”
Shikamaru blows out a breath, brushing the flyaway hairs on Sasuke’s face, fingers threatening to bury itself on the soft strands. A shiver goes down her spine at the calculating, and focused dark eyes that peers back, sharp and half-lidded. The intrigue and curiosity swirls, watching her every moment as she throws a comment she’s always thought of.
“You’re not much of an asshole they make out to be.” Strong, deft long fingers leave her wrists, only leaving a pale thumb circling the pulse point. Their knees are touching, as she offers a wide smile, “I’d say you’re a softie.”
A loud smack on her thigh renervates through the room, Sasuke chuckling lowly, before regarding her with a tilted head, another thumb guiding her chin upwards. “Hm, and you're sure about that?" Sasuke asks wryly.
A zing of indignation leaves a full-blown frown on her lips, “I think many people assume things cause they think they know you.” She trails off, her hands fiddling on the silver thin rings on a pale hand, their feet shuffling to tangle together. “
“And can you say, that you do know me, Shika?" Sasuke drags searching eyes to her own, watching her reaction coolly.
She gulps, before snarking out, “I know I do.”
She doesn’t find any lie about what she said, it was pure honestly. She couldn’t take back her words, but she can only look at the surprised look of the other woman, a hand brushing down the side of her hair.
Fuck, she’s in so much trouble.
“What’re you playing at, Uchiha?” Shikamaru growls, hair bobbing as she shakes her head in exasperation. “Goddamn it, I’m not some type of game you can just play!” she screams, backing away from the heartbroken eyes looking back at her.
Lips tightly pressed, furrowed brows and her strong and broad structure bends in, making the player look smaller, flinching at her loud volume. But she doesn’t want this, she’s in love with her, and she doesn’t deserve to be only someone who’s there to catch, she wants more.
“You have a soon-to-be-husband waiting for you?! Why play with my feelings?” She throws it out the wind, fists clenched tightly as she tries to find anything she did wrong. She wants to know that the gentle hold on her cheeks is a lie, that Sasuke is just there. (She wants to know if the onyx eyed, black-haired woman feels what she’s feeling, that she wants more of them, what they have, more, what they could be.)
”I’m not.” Sasuke whispers, convinced and determined as she tries to hold Shikamaru’s hands. “I promise I’m not.”
“I don’t think I can trust your empty words.” She whispers, hurt and aching, tears wellling up. “My greatest regret, is to fall for you, love.”
“I’ve always been afraid you’ll fly too far out of my reach, that I’m unable to catch you.” she sobs, fingers removing the pale hands away from her arms. She runs, bolting, leaving a devastated raven in the rain, a plead of “S-shika!” ringing in her ears.
[“Mum, I like girls.” a girl sobs, “I’m in love with a girl.”
“Ma, ‘Tachi, please. I can’t let her go. Please.”
“I’ll talk to your Father. ‘Chi, go bring your sister and let her rest. She looks like she hasn’t slept a blink.”
“C’mon, Sa.”
”Thank you, thank you.”]
Laughs mocks her, her head bent low as male players make fun of how badly their conversation went. How a nerd like her would ever get the engaged, vball athlete. The pain stings, avoiding the dark eyes trailing her every step, the nonchalant grazing on the corridors or the fast glances during the volleyball practice.
It’s raw, and it’s open, a wound gaping wide by her ribcage, heavy on her shoulders. Makes her crave for more, to have someone to hold, and to be held.
So lost in her thoughts she missed the fist barreling towards her, or the worried whispering to her ear. Naruko supports her as she regains her balance, eyes wide at the murderous glaring woman in front of her, a smaller hand holding the fist back. A threatening growl of “Don’t you dare touch her.”
Breath stuck in her lungs, she wobbles as Sasuke punches back, as her seemingly petite form looms and brashly defends and attacks back, swift and graceful. Kiba laughs as Shino pulls the girl away, the infuriatingly smug smirk on her bloodied lips making Shikamaru giggle, the boys previously towering over her crumpled and cowering on the ground.
“Fucking bastards. I’m fucking gay, lesbian, whatever. I just know I like, maybe love Shikamaru,” she says sincerely, looking back with a soft smile. “And I know I might be a tad bit too late.” She murmurs, cradling shaking hands in her own, before bloody knuckles graze a freckled cheek. “But I’m not gonna be a coward anymore.”
She presses a kiss on the unblemished knuckles, chuckling softly at both of their red faces, hands moving to cup Shikamaru’s cheeks. Her thumbs brush on the soft skin, as the short-haired woman slides her hands to her hips. “I really want to kiss you.”
She finds herself staring at Shikamaru's lips, tempted to cover it with her own, to trace the seam with her thumb and hold onto the nape of neck as she loses herself in her.
In some type of bravery or impatience, Shikamaru leans in, smacking their lips together, before she also, pulls the girl closer, wrapping her arms around her neck. Her impulsiveness joins, tongue darting out to tangle with the other, holding unto each other tightly.
“Want to be my girlfriend? darling?” she breathes to Shikamaru’s ear, feeling lips pressing on her collarbone as the brunette laughs, “I like the sound of that, dear.”
“I like you more.”
“Sap.”
