The Perks of Being Nyah Gray

@lifeofnyahgray

RESILIENT. That's how I want to be remembered. RESILIENT, LOYAL, AND BADA$$, though I'm still working on the latter. 20 y/o and trying to get over a breakup, so please bear with me...A Stephen Chbosky Perks of Being a Wallflower style blog describing life events in the form of letters from me, Nyah [Nye(like dye)-ah]. All of the posts depict events that happened in real life. For the protection of the people in my life, names have been changed. (LTLP = link to last post for "thread" letters)

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lifeofnyahgray

June 18, 2015 Dear Friend,

There are so many things that I wish I’d asked and one thing I wish I told him.

Did you love me?

Why couldn’t you commit to me?

Why wouldn’t you?

Why would you get so awkward when things were even remotely date like?

Why were you so awkward around your friends with me?

Why me?

Why did you pick me?

I loved you. Love always,

Nyah ♥

forgive-urself

“I couldn’t have you in this life,” she sad, trying to smile through the tears. “But I like to think that in another life, it would’ve worked out.” He looked at her sympathetically, almost as if that were enough to make him stay with her. But she knew in the end, he didn’t love her, and he didn’t feel the chemistry she did whenever she was around him. Another tear slipping from her eyes made him snap out of his thoughts. If he didn’t love her, why did it hurt so much to see her like this? “It would’ve worked out, right? We would’ve been okay? In another life, you would’ve stayed?” Her voice was broken and the begging to know the answer was insufferable. It wasn’t possible to bear watching her sob like that, and all because of him. Why didn’t he love her? Why couldn’t he? She was offering him her world and he was too selfish to take it, because he wanted other worlds too. “We would’ve been perfect,” he leaned in and whispered, kissing her forehead. “In another life, we would’ve had everything and nobody would’ve been able to stop us.” And that was the most painful goodbye she had ever had to go through. Knowing that loving him wasn’t enough, knowing that maybe, in another life, she wouldn’t have had him either.

In another life, I would make you stay… (via missinyouiskillingme)