she was the lodestar that brought them all together, to send their final message back through time and space...to her. the light of your legacy was our torch in the darkness.
burn bright again...and live.
affiliated writing blog for the warrior of light.
29 years old • female ( she / her ) • white mage • au ra raen • 149 cm tall and can fold you like a chair if needed
beneath her ever-present smile and cheerful personality belies an ocean of emotions and deep-thinking disposition. despite her status as the renowned warrior of light in the world over, she would rather spend most of her time anywhere but the battlefield, and prefers to strengthen her healing abilities although she has rather…frightening tendencies. the type of woman whose words are sharp and blade even sharper.
“what would you do if your mana ran out during battle?”
“brandish my scepter as a club.”
– tsuru akiudo, warrior of light.
an affiliated writing blog for the warrior of light (in white mage flavor) from the hit mmorpg final fantasy xiv. established on july 19th, 2019. written by sey.
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Your name is Tsuru Akiudo, and, quite frankly, you are getting very tired of nursing a severe bout of depression with midnight walks and your usual journaling. You can take losing people; you have lost many along your journey, but the silence that follows afterward has slowly driven you into the sort of madness that almost makes you understand Emet-Selch.
And you really, really hate to admit that.
That maybe he was right, that maybe this is what awaits anyone in a place like this. You have far outstayed your welcome. You watch as others lead lives unconcerned; you watch as they make peace with the inevitability that this will one day end. They are fine with this, but as each day passes, you find yourself unsure if you are.
Sure, it would be nice to return home, but what about the memories of people you've met here? The more you think about it, the more you refuse to go. But you know as well as anyone that that is not your choice. So, you find yourself somewhere in between, hoping for the best but expecting the worst.
This does not stop you from loving people. You loved Annette, sweet Annette, whose stories you still remember years after her departure. You loved Noctis, whose wit matched your own. You loved Webeta, whose songs you can hear only when you sleep. You loved Lyra, who made it so incredibly easy to be yourself. You loved Coco, whose laugh and sense of wonderment you miss dearly.
You love Joshua; you take care of Joshua…but you also worry if next time will be the last time. You love Shadow Link, too, despite his rambunctious tendencies. You love Aerith, and you especially love helping her with her shop. In fact, it's the only thing keeping you somewhat on your rocker. Unfortunately, you still love G'raha the most, but you're trying to move on. You're certain a part of you already has, if only because he'd want that for you. He wouldn't want you to wait, so you don't.
But it still hurts to be the one left behind. It still hurts to be the only one who remembers. Truthfully, you feel like you're on the verge of doing something crazy, as if something is lurking just beneath the surface of your usually tame conscience, waiting to be set free. You have always been a bit of a restless person, reckless too, but you used to be able to keep it in check. Now, though? Not so much. You feel things; you feel them deeper than you should. Every departure a knife that twists deeper into your heart.
You smile, but not as often as you used to. Over the years, you have learned that keeping up the facade is not so important here. Instead, you have settled into careful cynicism. You are still polite, but with a noticeably sharper tongue. Your true kindness is reserved for those you deem worth it; everyone else gets yet another carefully cultivated version of yourself that you want to be known.
It's better that way, you think. It's better to lead others to believe that you feel nothing at all, or at the very least, very little. You love people, but there is that small voice that thinks loving people is making you worse. Loving people will hurt you, does hurt you, continues to hurt you. You don't want to love people; you are tired of goodbyes. This city has made them all the more painful and cruel.
Your name is Tsuru Akiudo, and tonight, as you write in your journal, the pen feels a little heavier in your hand. You set it down, rising from where you sat to take another walk instead.
"I wouldn't have taken a woman of holy magic to resort to beating something over the head with her staff."
And yet somehow, that seems exactly like something Tsuru would do, too, if all else fails. He can't even be unimpressed with that - in fact, he admires that. It's very much something Cid would have done, too. He gives the robot a slight kick to make sure it stayed down, because some of the Fallen machines back home love to simply get back up.
"Aye, I could be worse for wear, but... it seems like it's only going to get more difficult from here on out." With them being able to copy their abilities... he doesn't want to keep most of them functional.
"Sometimes desperate situations call for innovation." Granted, using one's staff as a throwing weapon wasn't the most original or smartest idea, but, again, desperate times. Tsuru watches as Clive makes sure the robot is dead before she even attempts to retrieve her weapon. "I'd offer to heal you, but my powers leave much to be desired, presently." Still, that doesn't stop her from checking anyway. She motions for him to draw closer, index finger set upon his cheek as she inspects his face.
While not entirely satisfied, she does dub him "relatively fine" and moves her hand under his chin in response. "Up you go, then." And she lets him stand upright again, in normal posture. "…Not how I imagined visiting the moon again, but I suppose sightseeing will have to wait. You don't mind playing bodyguard for a bit, do you?"
"Not my best throw, but certainly not my worst." If magic wasn't going to be any use for her, her cane could at least serve for something. "My master would be very disappointed to see my aymur treated this way, but what can you do?" If the sparks coming from the now-defunct robot were any indication, it had at least been useful. Lodged in the center of said robot's forehead was her weapon, usually used for healing, now made into a blunt weapon. Disgraceful, but still effective in basic weaponry.
"You're unharmed, right? I believe I managed to stop it before any damage was done, but..."
“I had been alone, all alone. That was a pain too deep for words.”
— Clarice Lispector, excerpt from “As Fast As I Can Type” (April 17, 1971), Too Much of Life: The Complete Crônicas (trans. Margaret Jull Costa & Robert Patterson)
"I'm glad you had some free time to take me out here. I wanted to go alone but honestly it felt a bit awkward to be sending up lanterns all by myself." At least compared to all the other places at the festival which felt more suited for someone like Mika. Here however it was a bit more solemn rather then anything she'd call upbeat. But being with someone she did trust helped ease any of those worries
"What did you wish for Miss Tsuru? You looked really deep in thought for awhile there..." Mika said before fashioning one more lantern to hold between her and the au'ra.
"Mine wasn't too special. Just to see my friends again and keep the ones here safe too. Though I thought the two of us would do one more together. I-If you wanted of course."
"I wished for much the same as you, though I also selfishly hope to see someone dear to me again…" Hundreds of lanterns light the sky already, and people are scattered around with their gazes turned toward the sky. Tsuru looks toward the distance, too, trying to spy her own lantern. But it's gone too far ahead, mingling with the others. Still, the sight is just as beautiful.
Mika's words bring her attention back to the extra lantern now held between them, and she smiles. It's incredibly thoughtful of her, but it isn't surprising. The girl had always been just as sweet. "I'd be honored, I think on this one, I'd wish for your continued happiness. Though maybe a promise would be more in order…a promise that I will always be here." That's not so easily kept, but that didn't mean she couldn't try.
nostrils flare with an abrupt snort, an attempt to keep a morbid cackle at bay weighing down his head. not a remark he expected, nor could he rightly disagree with it. as if on cue, he can hear that grating voice saying those very words -- charming.
once tsuru turns he does his best to straighten up, wiping away whatever mental imagery had been conjured.
"buryin' yourself in all that thinkin', clearly." the very thing he actively tried to run away from. all the baggage and turmoil that came with a title equally worn, why wouldn't they have much to think on? even more so being brought here. an extra layer of time and loss, a different helping of problems and fleeting joys. "can't say i blame ya."
shoulders rise and fall with taken breath, tail left idly brushing what leaves lay behind it. "we ain't meant to be th' invincible sort, we're still people beneath the titles and praise. heroes--" he forces. "--with problems of our own. sad, aye, but just another thing on our plates to work through."
The word stings more than not, these days. Maybe she fancied herself as some sort of savior a few years past, but certainly not now. Proud, even, that anyone would think of her as someone so saintly. But now, after the buzz and excitement had faded into memory during her stay, it was starting to weigh as it should.
Tsuru bites the inside of her cheek, searching for what to say. In theory, it should be easy to share your troubles with someone who is...well, you, in a sense. If anyone could understand, it would be other Warriors of Light. Yet she hesitates.
"--How do you deal with it?" It spills out in the form of a question, much too vague and open-ended to be answered at first. "When all has gone quiet," she continues, "And we're left here on our own...and we have seen people come and go," the elaboration should serve to paint something of a picture that hopefully he can understand. "I have sat with loss, but..." Losing people here was different than death. It wasn't the same.
Lilli gratefully accepts the help, trying to descend with as much dignity as possible. Luckily, years of dragoon training have left her well-versed in a solid landing. When she's got both feet on the ground, she turns back to address her rescuer.
"Thanks!" Running an awkward hand through her hair, Lilli sighs. "I know how the fae love their tricks, but I hate to leave someone in need, and picking fruit seemed simple enough..." Well. You see how that worked out for her. She tosses the fruit into the air a few times as they talk.
"Do you spend a lot of time out here, then? I only ask because you seem to be well-versed in their games. It would serve me well to learn as much if I intend to be a repeat visitor."
"Tragically, I live here," Early on, she remembers it feeling that way. Maybe it was more akin to a dark comedy when it came to living among the fae, but she was more than used to it now, at least. "It hasn't always been easy, but thankfully, I learned from someone in the past how to mind them."
"Some advice, since you intend to keep visiting..." Brave, she'll give her that. "Learn their names. And never make bargains." Not that it needs to be said, considering the type of people they were. "That, or hope that I'll come along again to lend you a hand. Which is likely, considering I find this forest peaceful."
"A question for you, now..." Since she, too, was curious. "Are you a friend of Dar'khol Moshantu? You both give a slightly similar..." How could she say it? "Well, let us just say you have a similar way about you."
Soma desummoned his bone when she grabbed it, letting her tug on air. Soma didn't usually care that people referred to him as 'boy' or whatever belittling terms they thought made them more superior to him. It said more about them than him. But, his anger towards Sebastian was clouding his mind.
"Alright, hag, since we're throwing around condescending terms now. If you want people to actually listen and be cooperative with you, maybe learn to speak to them like they're people and not shit beneath your feet."
"Besides, I'm safe in this forest. The fae and I understand each other." Even if he couldn't summon his faerie companion at the moment, she slept and resonated in his soul. That made negotiating with the forest denizens a little easier. The last thing he wants is for the pixies to see him as a threat.
Hag. That was a new one, one that she'd let roll off of her with a laugh just as easily. Insults hardly meant anything to her, and Soma was clearly not in the mood for games. Unfortunately for him, neither was she. "If I thought lowly of you, trust that you would know," Tsuru shrugs her shoulders, still holding the candle up enough to illuminate both of them. She doesn't bother retrieving her cane, deeming him harmless after all.
"Very rarely do the fae have an understanding with anyone." Not that she doubted what he said, but it was still surprising. "I suppose if they trust you, I have no choice but to as well." Deciding that she was tired of the dark, cold, and nightly environment, she turned on her heel and started back to her cottage. "Come along then, it wouldn't do for me to leave you."
But she notices he doesn't follow, she looks back over her shoulder to say, "You are coming, aren't you? There's no use wandering here by yourself."
✧ The little witch had been carrying a notepad with her and begin to jot down anything that the healer had said that she thought might be important to remember later. By the time she had finished, Tsuru had managed to fire off her own questions. "Oh! Um... I mean, we use them for general healing? For treating poisons, wounds, and so on. But most people use them that way I think..."
"When it comes to our magic, we have to draw it. There aren't usually things like ingredients involved!"
Magic that required a conduit to be cast wasn't a new concept to her, but as someone who largely drew her power from nature, it seemed far more tedious and unreliable than not. With how Coco speaks of it, though, it kind of reminds her of Marcille. "Drawn magic implies you need something to draw with, though."
"I'm sorry to pepper you with questions. You came here to learn from me today, yet I feel more inclined to learn from you as well." Not that she didn't have more to share with Coco, but they'd gotten sidetracked far too early due to the au ra's curiosity.
