“ a sucker for warnings ? interesting. that’s a new one. i would greatly appreciate it if you pulled several things off for me, thanks. i understand completely; i’m an admirable individual, what can i say ? kidding, sorta’. i think i’m pretty rad, but i don’t know if i think i’m ‘ all that. ’ oh, shit — did you just drag me for thinking we’re hittin’ it off better than we are ? excuse me, kind sir. i didn’t realize you were a fine piece of art in a museum gallery, and i am merely a visitor rather than someone to be familiar with your features. i’ll be sure to always admire from a distance and never touch the artwork from now on, rest assured. a ‘lil arrogant to think you’re always the party starter, isn’t it ? a party can and will go on without you, do not fret. you can always wonder. i mean, go for it. i’m not gonna’ tell you how to live your life. i don’t know what the answer would be to that, though, because it really just depends. i’ll tell you right now, though, that i hate pants with a passion. if i could live in a pants-free world, i would have so many less worries. my skin would always be clear, the grass would be greener, and everything in the world would be just fine. however, it’s socially accepted that they’re mandatory, so i guess i’ll comply — whatever. you know, you make a valid point. since a holiday tinder doesn’t exist, i s’pose i’ll have to meet my man of the hour in person — what a tragedy. and, for what it’s worth, i think your opinion matters. if it didn’t, i wouldn’t have bothered to ask ! i have to try this hot chocolate now, you know. i don’t make the rules, sorry. i think it came at just the right time, to tell you the truth. november was becoming quite the drag, in my book. i’m not judging you, listen. i’m merely making observations. if you let me shoot your confidence down just like that, how confident are you, really ? riddle me that. oh, what a relief. single-sidedness on these types of issues is too awkward for me to bear, so i’m glad we kicked that elephant out of the room before it got all the way inside. no, no — i think that’s the most sense you’ve made thus far. alone, together. i could roll with it, so long as you’re not secretly a clown, have sketchy ulterior motives, or plotting my death. i know some of those people are out there, after me, and if you’re one of ‘em, i hate to break it to ‘ya — but your girl’s gotta’ blast. i mean, i was liking where that was going, so i wasn’t going to stop you… but if you want to stop, do so on your own accord. don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thing, or make you continue doing your thing, in this case. you just admitted to me being enigmatic. shit, i’m not swooning. okay, but can we talk about why you have a hole in your heart in the goddamn first place ? have you gotten that checked out yet ? i can’t have you dyin’ on me before you get me alone. talk about tragic. kidding, though. kinda’. ”
“ is it really interestin’ or are ya’ just bootin’ up in ego right now ? your wish is definitely my command, my lady, that’s kinky. there’s a lot of things that you can say, and i’m hopin’ that i’m able to stick around ‘cause i’m more than interested, at this point. well, if ya’ don’t think it, allow me to say it. whoa, whoa, i don’t have that ‘clapback’ reflex in me, and if i do, then it’s usually someone tellin’ me what to write. i’m not so big on comin’ for people... well, unless they really fuckin’ piss me off, then i let ‘em have a piece of my mind. being a visitor is lame, you’re more of a security guard that tells people not to touch. yikes, here i was thinkin’ that i actually mattered. you shot my dream right out of the sky, and i don’t really know how i’m feelin’ about this. i’m sure if ya’ didn’t wear pants, the whole nation would give a huge middle finger to society, and join you. i mean, i would, if i didn’t have so much business happenin’ in the front, you feel me ? the only downfall i’m seein’ is that your legs would be two little icicles in the winter, ya’ might wanna hire someone to keep ‘em warm for you before ya’ gotta’ cut ‘em off. hey, if that’s what happens without pants, then who am i to stop you from doin’ as you please ? besides, everyone likes their grass a little greener than the next person’s, let me tell ya’ that. meetin’ them in person is a whole of hell lot worse. ‘cause like, here you are on a blind date, sittin’ across from a ex-convict and ya’ would never really know. at least on these datin’ websites, there’s a sense of security since it’s all through technology. my opinion feels very freakin’ validated right now, thanks for keepin’ my spirit alive. i don’t know what it is about november, but i feel like it could last a whole year and i wouldn’t be the slightest upset with it. i think all those pumpkin spice lattes hit me right on my ass, honestly. makin’ observations leads to you having some sort of judgment on the situation, which is the same as judging. listen, now isn’t the time to bring up my low self-esteem, thank ya’ very much. we took the elephant by it’s hose, and pulled it out the room without any hesitation. which brings us back to being alone... together, it just makes a whole lot of sense to me. ya’ know, i thought i would be able to qualify for any of those things that ya’ listed, but you caught me red-handed. i’m not a clown, no, plottin’ your death isn’t an option, but my ulterior motives just might keep us apart. listen, jmmy, you don’t have to blast anywhere ‘cause i’d never even think about layin’ these sausages on ya’, i mean, if you want that. hey, if no one’s makin’ me stop, then i don’t think i should. i’m a man of my own choices when i wanna be, i think now is the perfect time to me to put that in use. ya know, i’m convinced that love just isn’t for me, and that’s probably why i’m going to die alone... quote me. ya’ might have to see me soon ‘cause ya’ never know, today might be my last day. ”