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Uninvited - pt 2

Azriel x reader Fluff / banter / slow burn

part 1

Azriel's out of excuses, which leaves him with the one thing he's never actually tried: showing up with no reason at all

Cassian told the story exactly once before Rhys made him repeat it three more times, purely for his own entertainment.

"So he flies in," Cassian said, wheezing, one hand braced against the war table like he needed it to stay upright, "looking like death itself, ribs supposedly cracked, the whole tragic I might not make it routine—"

"I don't sound like that," Azriel said flatly, from the window, arms crossed, wings mantled tight in the universal posture of a male deeply regretting every choice that had led him to this exact conversation.

"You absolutely sound like that. And then." Cassian held up a finger, savoring it. "Nothing. Not a scratch. She checks him twice. Twice, Rhys. Nothing there at all. Turns out our terrifying, unreadable Shadowsinger flew across half the territory and lied to a healer's face because he wanted an excuse to see a pretty girl."

"Shut up, Cassian."

"I have never respected you more in my entire life."

"Shut up, Cassian."

Rhys, to his credit, did not laugh outright. He had the grace to press his knuckles briefly to his mouth, shoulders shaking with the effort of it, before settling into something almost dignified. Almost.

"That's remarkably poor tactics," he said, "for a spymaster."

"I'm aware."

"You could have just told her."

"I'm aware, Rhys."

"I'm only saying. There are easier ways to get a woman's attention than inventing structural damage to your own skeleton."

"If you'd like a real reason to fly to a healer," Cassian offered, entirely too pleased with himself, already rolling up one sleeve, "I would be happy to provide one. Free of charge. Consider it a gift."

Azriel did not dignify that with a response.

"I mean it. One good hit. You'd barely feel it, you're very durable, everyone says so—"

"You should invite her here," Rhys said, cutting neatly through whatever Cassian had been building toward, the picture of reasonable, unbothered helpfulness. "Dinner. Properly, this time. No fabricated injuries required."

Azriel's jaw ticked, the closest thing to hesitation he ever let show in front of either of them. "No."

"Why not."

"Because Cassian would be there."

"I would be delightful," Cassian said, deeply wounded. "I would be on my absolute best behavior."

"You brought up the rockfall four times in the last ten minutes."

"That's different. That's just good material. I can't be expected to sit on good material, it isn't natural." Cassian spread his hands, entirely sincere now, some of the teasing dropping out of his voice. "Come on. You know I love the girl. In the platonic, deeply respectful way one loves someone who single-handedly caught you in the most embarrassing lie of your very long life. I'll behave."

"You will not."

"I will try."

Rhys, watching the two of them with the particular fondness of a male who had, several centuries ago, given up trying to referee this exact friendship, took a slow sip of his wine.

"For what it's worth," he said, "I think she'd say yes. To dinner. Even with him there."

Azriel didn't answer right away. He looked back out the window instead, toward the lights of Velaris scattered gold below, toward the general direction of a small candlelit room that smelled like chamomile and clean linen, where a cat that liked him more than she liked her own owner was probably curled by the hearth right now.

"I'll think about it," he said, which both of them correctly understood to mean yes, and I've already thought about nothing else for days.

Cassian grinned like he'd won something. "I'll bring wine."

"You will not be invited."

"I'll bring wine anyway."

You were still sorting your vials when a hesitant knock came at your door. At this hour, you weren't expecting any patient. Odd, you thought.

As you opened the door, you heard a slow exhale, then—

"Azriel?" The surprise was written all over your face. For once, he wasn't wearing his armor. He simply stood there, dressed all in black, siphons gone. It was such an odd sight, compared to every other situation you'd seen the male in.

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds. He looked nervous. His scarred hand went through his hair, then dropped, then found its way back up again like it hadn't quite settled on a decision. Then your eyes drifted to his other hand, knuckles white, holding a small bouquet of flowers. His grip on the stems was so tight you half expected them to snap.

"Hi," he said, his gaze burning into yours.

"Hi," you answered, smiling. "So… You did come without any injuries this time," you teased.

The corner of his mouth shyly lifted, and something warm crept up the column of his throat before it settled high on his cheekbones, faint but unmistakable against his tan. "I did," he answered. "I—uh." He started, then stopped, jaw working, the hand not currently strangling the flowers dragging through his hair again. "These are for you," and he handed you the flowers, crushed at the stems, to be honest. It made your heart clench a little harder, thinking about how nervous he was.

"Sorry… rough flight." His mouth flattened, and that made you smile even more.

"Why are you bringing me flowers in the middle of the afternoon, Azriel?" you asked, almost mischievous. The sight was too delightful, and you were not going to pretend otherwise. You crossed your arms and let yourself simply enjoy watching the unshakeable Shadowsinger shift his weight from one foot to the other like a boy called up in front of a class.

"Right, I—uh." You couldn't believe the spymaster of the Night Court was actually nervous enough that he couldn't find his words. He cleared his throat, once, then again when the first attempt clearly hadn't done the job, and asked, "I'd like to invite you to dinner. At the River House." He almost spoke too fast, the words tripping slightly over each other on their way out.

"Rhys is hosting a small gathering tonight, and we, I mean— I would love to have you with us," he said sheepishly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck now, the other still hovering awkwardly at his side, unsure what to do with itself now that it no longer had stems to occupy it.

"Tonight?" you asked again, checking the clock behind you; it was already mid-afternoon.

"Yes, tonight." He seemed to realize the invitation came a little late. "I know it's short notice. I should have asked days ago. I've been meaning to. I just—" He stopped, jaw tightening, visibly annoyed with himself for fumbling something he'd clearly rehearsed better in his head, shoulders drawing up toward his ears like he could physically shrink away from his own awkwardness if he just tried hard enough.

"You've been meaning to for days," you repeated, watching him with the same delighted, narrow-eyed attention you usually reserved for catching him mid-lie.

"Cassian accelerated the timeline. Threatened to ask you himself if I didn't." He looked, for one unguarded second, like a little boy holding himself up straighter than he actually felt, chin lifted, shoulders squared, entirely undone by the whole effort of it. "So, here I am."

"That does sound like something he'd threaten to do, indeed."

"So. Dinner. Tonight, if you can." He exhaled, long and slow, and something in his shoulders eased slightly now that the worst of it was out, though his hands still hadn't quite settled on where to rest. "If you can't, I'll find an excuse to ask you again tomorrow, though I'm told I'm no longer permitted to invent injuries for that purpose."

"You're not," you agreed. "Precedent's been set."

"Cruelly."

You looked down at the flowers in your hands, crushed and a little wilted and somehow more convincing than anything smooth he could have said instead, and then back up at him, still watching you with that same careful stillness, hands now empty and clearly unsure what to do with themselves now that they no longer had stems to hold onto.

"Yes," you said. "I'll come tonight."

Something in him loosened all at once, the whole careful architecture easing, like he'd been holding his breath since he'd landed on your doorstep. His hands finally stilled.

"Yes," he repeated, like he needed to hear it a second time to trust it.

"Obviously yes. You flew here in the middle of the day, out of armor, holding flowers you clearly fought a hedge for. I wasn't going to say no."

"I did not fight a hedge."

"Azriel. There are leaves in your hair."

He reached up to find it, patting blindly at the wrong side of his head entirely, and you huffed out a laugh and reached up yourself before you could think better of it, fingers brushing through the dark strands until you found the offending leaf and plucked it free. He went very still under your hand, breath catching audibly, and you were close enough now to feel the warmth coming off him, close enough to watch his throat work around a swallow he clearly hadn't planned on.

You didn't step back right away. Neither did he.

"There," you said, quieter than you meant to, the leaf forgotten between your fingers. "Fought bravely."

His eyes had gone dark and unhurried, tracking the shift from your fingers still tangled faintly at his temple down to your mouth and back up again, slow enough that you felt it everywhere. The tips of his ears had gone faintly red, you noted, delighted, filing it away for future use.

"I'm aware," he said, biting the inside of his cheek, gaze dropping briefly to the ground before dragging back up to yours like he couldn't quite help himself.

Your cat chose that moment to appear, winding around his ankles with her usual traitorous enthusiasm, and he looked down at her, then back up at you, making no effort at all to hide how pleased he was with how this had gone, even with his hands still faintly restless at his sides.

"So, I'll see you tonight then?"

"You will," he agreed, and the way he said it made it sound like the furthest thing from simple he'd ever attempted.

He lingered a moment longer on your threshold, the way he always did, like leaving still cost him something even now that he had an actual reason to come back.

"For what it's worth," he said, "that was considerably harder than flying into an ambush."

"Oh, I believe you." You laughed it off, and reached out on impulse to smooth the collar of his shirt where it had gone slightly askew, an entirely unnecessary correction that had nothing to do with the collar at all. His hand caught yours before you'd finished, not stopping you, just holding it there against his chest a moment longer than the gesture required, warm and solid under your palm. "I'll see you tonight, Azriel."

"Yes." He pressed something that was almost a kiss to your knuckles instead, brief and deliberate, before finally letting your hand go. He held your gaze a beat too long to be casual about it, something warm and unguarded still sitting behind his eyes, before he finally stepped back off the threshold, wings shifting to catch the afternoon air.

You stood in your doorway long after he'd gone, a crushed and slightly wilted bouquet still cradled in one arm, and thought that for a male who talked his way past entire enemy encampments for a living, Azriel had never once managed to make a clean exit from your porch. You found, watching the last of him disappear over the rooftops, that you rather hoped he never learned how.

---

a/n : I'm so sorry it took so long to update yall on part 2 guys, life has been really busy lately (and a little chaotic 💀)

Thoughts ?? part 3 ??

@sjejejjej @theyouthfullmoon @maplesdapperthoughts @jaziona92 @lilah-asteria @chillinini @spookypersondinosaur @sunmoonsweets @angel-graces-world-of-chaos @narcissanarcissa @marrfil

idkyetxoxo

Three | The Sound of Silence | Fallow

Pairing - Azriel x reader

Word count - 2.9k

Warnings - Miscarriage, pain, grief, shock

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Eight whole weeks.

Two months since Madja had smiled at us and changed our lives with a single sentence.

Two months of Azriel hovering like I might shatter if he looked away for too long. Two months of him insisting on carrying anything heavier than a book, of watching me like he was personally responsible for every breath I took. Two months of soft touches to my stomach when he thought I wasn't paying attention.

Two months of quiet happiness that sometimes still didn't feel real.

My stomach barely had the slightest swell to it, so small that no one but us would ever notice but Azriel loved to pretend otherwise.

His hands were always there, resting lightly against me like he needed the reminder.

Like he still couldn't believe it either.

He had become softer these past weeks. Not that anyone else would notice, he was still the Night Court's shadowsinger, still quiet and observant and terrifying when he wanted to be but with me, he was gentler than ever.

More careful. More present.

idkyetxoxo

One | Parallel Lines | The Way Back

Pairing - Eris Vanserra x reader

Word count - 2.6k

Warnings - Slight angst

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I didn't notice when it started—there was no clean fracture, no moment I could pinpoint.

It was quieter than that. Slower. Like something soft unravelling in my hands, while I was too distracted to feel the thread slip loose.

Everything still looked the same.

Eris's apartment hadn't changed. The same dim, amber light pooling in the corners. The same faint scent of something expensive and warm clinging to the furniture like it belonged there.

My shoes were still by the door, slightly crooked because I always kicked them off without thinking. My jacket still hung over the back of his chair like I'd only meant to stay the night.

That was the worst part. Everything looked right. It sounded right. It should have felt right.

It didn't.

earthlydevotions

— attractive things acotar characters do.

Azriel

when he accidentally move closer to you, but won’t move away

everywhere azriel goes, he looks for you. slowly, he begins to move closer until he's standing near you, until you're so close that you can feel the heat of his body spilling into yours. anyone else would take a step back, but he can't. physically can't. it's as though he needs every tiny bit of contact he can get with you. sometimes your fingers or shoulders brush against each other, and his heart races in his chest; he's doing everything in his power not to close that distance. instead, he just keeps looking at you, completely focused on whatever you're saying, like being close to you is the most natural thing in the world.

sincere yearning.

when he's so deeply in love, so intensely lost in his feelings for you. he writes letters late into the night, his hand aching as pages pile across his desk. the moon begins to fade and the first rays of sunlight start filtering into his room, and he closes his eyes, blaming himself for spending yet another night thinking about you. when he cries alone while thinking of you, thinking of touching you; he falls to his knees while whispering your name, over and over again, like a desperate prayer.

Mor

saying your name with a low voice in a sentence

mor already has a naturally beautiful voice; the kind that enchants anyone who hears it, that makes them want to move closer to the melody. but when she says your name, there's something different in her tone. something softer, warmer, deeper, more in love. something that makes your whole body shiver when you hear her mention your name "casually" during a conversation, as though the entire room disappears because, in some mystical way, she manages to make your name sound sacred.

always finding a way to be near or around you

mor is naturally social, so at first it doesn't seem unusual. she's always talking to someone, always moving through a room, always making people laugh. but after a while, you start noticing a pattern; no matter where you are, mor somehow ends up there too. if you're sitting alone at dinner, she takes the seat beside you. if you're standing on a balcony during a party, she appears a few minutes later with two drinks and an easy smile. if you leave a conversation, she somehow drifts in the same direction shortly after. she never makes a big deal out of it, but there's something incredibly attractive about realizing that, out of everyone she could spend her time with, she keeps choosing you. every single time.

Cassian

when he comes out of training sweaty with wet hair

cassian walks off the training field flushed, sweaty, wings stretched behind him, hair damp and sticking to his forehead, and the moment he makes eye contact with you, his smile widens, as though he knows exactly how much power he's carrying right now. adrenaline is still running through his veins, the sound of the other soldiers laughing echoes in his ears, but all he can focus on is you, only you.

moving you by your waist

cassian does this constantly; guiding you through crowded rooms, pulling you closer when someone nearly bumps into you, moving you beside him without even thinking. it's so casual for him, which somehow makes it even worse.

Rhysand

when he explains things softly to you, without getting angry or tired of you

rhys is incredibly intelligent, but what makes him attractive is how patient he becomes with you. you could ask a dumb question, ask the same thing three times, interrupt him, need a better explanation. and he'll still explain everything with that soft, amused smile, as though explaining things to you is the easiest thing he could possibly do. not to mention that he loves every second of it, looking at your eyes, your mouth, your hands...

when he maintains eye contact with a cheeky lil smile

rhys knows exactly what he's doing when that little smile appears while he's teasing you, or openly flirting with you, making everyone look your way. it's not to embarrass you, but to show everyone just how affected you can be by him. that tiny smile appears and his violet eyes never leave yours, and suddenly you've forgotten what you were saying while he looks entirely too pleased about it.

Lucien

seeing his waistband when he stretches

it's ridiculous how much this affects you. lucien is reaching for something on a high shelf, completely focused on the conversation, when his shirt rides up just enough to reveal the waistband of his trousers and a sliver of skin. he doesn't notice, you try to look away, but the image is already burned into your memory. he simply continues talking as though he hasn't just become the most distracting thing in the room.

eye contact when getting dressed/undressed

lucien isn't usually the type to stare, but when it comes to you, he can't help it. your beauty, your essence, captivate him in an overwhelming way. he can't stop looking at you while you're talking to him as the two of you get ready together; he stops where he is, like he is hypnotized by the sight of you. you look at him, smile, and ask, "what?" innocently, and it makes his blood run warm. he slowly walks over to you and finishes helping you get dressed, leaving soft kisses on your shoulder and neck.

Eris

leaning over you in the kitchen.

eris loves trapping you against him. he loves feeling your warmth, feeling you try to wiggle away so you can finish what you're doing, but you can’t because he keeps you wrapped in strong, steady arms. he loves seeing your reaction when his body fits so perfectly against yours. you're trying to grab something from the cabinet, focused on your task, when he's suddenly there; your back is turned to him when he wraps his arms around you, pressing his hips against yours. he starts leaving kisses along your shoulder and up your neck, making you tilt your head to give him more room. he smiles against your skin, satisfied.

harsher and desperate kisses on the jaw while you're giggling

happens when you're teasing him; which, unfortunately for eris, you enjoy doing far too much. you'll say something smug. something that makes him roll his eyes or narrow them in warning, but then you laugh. and suddenly he's pulling you closer, pressing quick, frustrated kisses along your jaw, your neck, the corner of your mouth. the kind that feel less like affection and more like an attempt to silence you; except you're still giggling the entire time. which only makes him kiss you again and again until you're out of breath, until eventually he starts laughing too.

earthlydevotions

— acotar characters being in love with you.

Azriel

• azriel only enters rooms after you; he waits, and always lets you take the initiative. after you sit down and get comfortable, he moves closer and stays nearby until the end.

• he watches you like someone remembering a dream, as if every glance were a small prayer.

• when you touch him — something simple like a light hand on his arm, or the brush of fingers — his shadows tense around him as if trying not to return the touch.

• he often has thoughts about you, as if he already had you. he thinks about how you’d look bathed in candlelight beside his bed. but then he hates himself for wanting you that way when he hasn’t even won your heart yet.

• he notices absolutely everything about you: the way you tuck your hands into your sleeves when you’re cold, the way you hum quietly when you’re lost in thought, how you look when you’re worried, happy, anxious. everything is noticed by his admiring gaze.

• his greatest fear is that you’ll choose someone else, and he won’t even have the right to be hurt.

• sometimes, he stands outside your door at night, not close enough to be seen, only close enough to know you’re safe.

• during meetings, when someone interrupts you or dismisses your opinion, he becomes still; his power barely contained. but his gaze is piercing, his shadows angry toward that voice he wishes he could silence just so he can delight in the sound of yours again.

• he dreams of you holding his hand without hesitation. saying that you see the worst parts of him, but choose him anyway.

Cassian

• cassian makes you laugh constantly, but inside, it hurts not being able to tell if it’s only friendship. if that’s all you see.

• he flirts as if it’s harmless, but his eyes always watch your reaction as if it matters more than anything.

• when you’re not around, he talks about you as if you’re already the center of his life. “she said something brilliant about that the other day, gods, she’s so intelligent...” and he ends up lost in affectionate daydreams about you and everything he loves and admires about you.

• he started wearing nicer shirts, slightly cleaner armor, neater hair just as a precaution, in case you notice (and you do.)

• he teaches you things — how to fight, how to fly, how to swear in three languages — not because you need it, but because it means spending time close to you.

• sometimes, he lets himself imagine; you in his bed, laughing beneath the morning sun. you sitting on the kitchen counter while he makes breakfast. he could spend the entire day lost in these imaginary moments with you.

• he tries not to feel jealous, after all, you’re only friends, but he fails constantly. the instant he catches azriel looking at you? or mor reaching her hand toward you? his stomach twists.

• if you’re tired, he notices first and will do the possible and impossible to help you with whatever you need. if you’re sad, he sits beside you and doesn’t leave.

• he looks at you as if saying, “i’m yours, completely, if you want me” and can hardly wait to say it out loud to you, without fear.

Mor

• mor watches you with silent amazement, as if she still can’t believe someone like you exists. she desperately wants to touch you — your hand, your cheek, the small of your back — but she never does. unless she knows you want it.

• when you’re laughing with someone else ( especially a man) mor turns away. she smiles and pretends it doesn’t shatter her while trying to avoid looking at you.

• she gives you small gifts: a warm cloak, a ring woven with silent protection, a piece of sunstone that she claims is “simply beautiful.” she never explains what they mean, but if you look a little closer, you’ll see that her heart comes with those gifts.

• she starts dressing differently when you’re together; softer fabrics, gold jewelry, a touch of vulnerability in her appearance. she wants to be seen, admired, but only by you.

• when she drinks too much wine, she almost confesses: “if you knew how beautiful you are when...” but she stops. always stops. and simply stares at you with eyes shining with love and longing.

• she writes your name in the margins of a journal. only once, but she keeps that page with her.

• every time you talk about the future, mor longs to ask: “can i be part of it?”

• she dreams of kissing you beneath the moonlight, but wakes before it happens.

• when she hears others talking about you — admiring you, wanting you — mor laughs politely. but inside, her heart breaks a little more.

Rhysand

• rhysand doesn’t flirt with you, not the way he does with others. he respects you too much to treat you like a game, and he wants you to know that he wants eternity with you, not just a moment.

• he becomes gentler around you; still intelligent, still powerful and perceptive, but with less sharpness, less mask, and more sensitivity.

• he watches how you move through a room; where you choose to sit, who you listen to, which subjects make your eyes light up. he notices everything.

• when you speak, he falls silent. even when others interrupt you, he never does.

• he starts writing again; poems, letters, fragments, and never sends them. you live in all of them.

• he doesn’t feel jealous, but he becomes quietly possessive. not controlling, but more attentive. when you talk to someone for too long, his jaw tightens and he analyzes every second of the interaction and how he can insert himself into it and have your attention again.

• when he talks to you in private, it’s never about power or politics, but about life. about your dreams, your past, what makes you feel alive. he wants to listen to you and know you like no one else does.

• he buys books, accessories, clothes, and anything he thinks you’ll like. he leaves them in your room without a note, but you know it was him.

• the idea of you choosing someone else doesn’t make him angry, it leaves him deeply empty.

• the first time you accidentally call him by a more affectionate nickname without title, without distance, he leaves the room, just for a moment, just to breathe.

• he hasn’t told you he’s in love with you, but his entire soul already has.

Lucien

• lucien falls in love quietly at first; not because he wants to, but because he learned that wanting something often means losing it.

• he memorizes you before anyone else does; the way you laugh at something you genuinely find funny (and how he catches himself smiling while watching you). the way you observe people when you think nobody is looking. he memorizes every detail and small things make him think of you; a beautiful song, an old but lovely book.

• his teasing becomes softer around you, less about getting a reaction and more about seeing you smile.

• he remembers every story you tell him, even months later, he casually asks: “how did that book end?” and you realize he had been listening the whole time.

• he gives you pieces of himself without realizing it; a favorite book, a special poem, a childhood memory. truths he never said out loud, but that he trusts you blindly to hold; he tells you stories late into the night. stories he normally keeps locked away.

• when you’re upset, he never pressures you. he simply sits beside you and waits until you’re ready. his presence is comforting.

• he starts looking for you unconsciously; in crowded rooms, at parties, even in places where he knows you won’t be. he’s always the first to turn his head whenever he hears your voice.

• his gaze lingers on you constantly, not possessively, almost melancholically.

• his greatest concern is that you deserve someone better than him. so he tries to improve, tries to change, tries to become someone worthy of your love.

• he would cross every court in prythian for you without hesitation.

Eris

• when he realizes he’s developing feelings for you, he actively avoids you for weeks. not because he wants to, but because eris knows exactly how dangerous love can be, and he doesn’t know if he wants to risk it — and risk you.

• around everyone else, he remains perfectly composed. around you, small cracks begin to form.

• he notices when you’re cold before you even realize it. a warm cloak appears around your shoulders. he pretends it wasn’t him.

• he memorizes your preferences with unsettling precision; your favorite wine, the books you reread, which flowers you admire during walks.

• nobody notices how often he watches you, but you do. and suddenly he doesn’t know what to do about it.

• his affection manifests in actions, never words; an obstacle removed before you ever encounter it, a problem solved before you know it exists.

• he becomes protective in almost imperceptible ways. if someone insults you, they often find themselves dealing with consequences they cannot explain.

• he respects your intelligence more than your beauty; your beauty unsettles him, but your mind captivates him.

• eris isn’t naturally gentle, but with you, something strange happens; his voice becomes lower, his temper calms, his hands become careful.

• he never assumes you need to be saved. he simply makes sure you always have a choice.

• he offers you honesty before he offers you affection. which, for eris, is the greatest gift.

pellucid-constellations

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Word count: 720

Warnings: Injury, blood, symptoms of a panic attack

a/n: Hi! I haven't been able to write for some time, so I'm having a drabble spree over the next week or so, writing based on prompts from this list. If you send me a category, I'll pick a prompt!!

This fic was based on this prompt in the Hurt/Comfort category: Physically injured character comforting emotionally distressed character

____________________________________________

Your hands were shaking so hard that they were becoming a hazard. You wrung out the cloth meant to soothe the Shadowsinger's wound for the third time and dunked it back into the herbal concoction. The water lapped with your trembling fingers. Your jaw shook as you attempted to breathe.

He wasn't dying. He wasn't. He had been through worse. You'd seen him worse off with your own eyes, treated him on the very table he lay on now, with blood dripping into puddles where the floor was currently unmarred. But he hadn't been your mate then. You hadn't loved him as you did now.

Azriel let out a pained sound, and you flinched as you lathered the damp cloth in healing ointment.

pellucid-constellations

Pairing: Rhysand x Reader

Word count: 550

Warnings: Themes of abusive families (emotional and physical)

a/n: Hi! I haven't been able to write for some time, so I'm having a drabble spree over the next week or so, writing based on prompts from this list. If you send me a category, I'll pick a prompt!!

This fic was based on this prompt in the Hurt/Comfort category: "Don’t do this to me. I can’t handle losing you."

____________________________________________

"Don't—don't do this to me. Please."

Rhysand's croaked request had the bag falling from your hands. You spun on your heel and let the contents fall around your feet, clothes and books and meaningless belongings spreading across the floor. He was in disarray at the door, his shirt unbuttoned and his hair mussed.

"What?" you whispered—because it was night, and even though you were the only ones in the house, the cloak of the moon made things feel quieter.

Rhysand's lashes flickered, and he looked up to the ceiling as he replied, "I tried to be okay with this. I did. But I can't handle losing you. So don't make me."

pellucid-constellations

Source Material (2)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: You had always been a reader—always drawn to worlds outside of your own. Always seeking more. This world, Azriel's world, was trying to teach you something; you were sure of it. Or, maybe, it was where you were always meant to be.

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: Confusion, self-harm in desperation/confusion, angst, reference to psychosis and related symptoms

a/n: Sorryyy this took so long I wanted it out sooner but life was happening! I hope you enjoy :) Promise romance will come along in time and there are some hints of something already ;) This is def slow burn though which I think is crucial for this trope okay I'm blabbing love you bye <3

Read Part One Here

Main Masterlist ♡

You were alone in a room you had once read about.

Well, maybe you hadn’t read about this room exactly, but you’d read about this house, how it was alive and had agency and had magic. You’d read about the magic that blanketed the entire world, the land of Prythian, and what a magnificent read it had been. You could vaguely remember the stage of life you had been in. You could picture the covers. There was an audiobook downloaded on your phone for one of them—maybe the second—because you’d been on a road trip and you couldn’t put the series down.

The characters had looked a bit different in your mind. Rhysand was more built than you had initially imagined, more imposing and less lean. Azriel was… well, he was more of everything. His shoulders were broader, his jaw sharp and defined. He was frightening, in every sense of the word, but you could also remember how he moved when you were panicked. How he held your head in his hand and spoke low when he asked you questions. Your skull gave a dull throb as you thought back on your run-in with the wall, and you threw a sidelong glance at the disruption in the paint by the window.

pellucid-constellations

Source Material

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Confusion, self-harm in desperation/confusion, angst, reference to a psychiatric hold

a/n: Okay I love this trope so bad so thank you to those who requested it :) This first part has a lot of... thinking in it so make sure to heed the warnings. Themes may continue, but this fic will also have a lot of humor, pining, and fluff. Happy ending as always <3 I love you okay bye :)

Part Two

Main Masterlist ♡

There was a humming in your ears—constant enough to be considered ringing, but not quite as sharp. Moments ago, the pull in your gut had you keeling over in bed, and then you had stumbled to your bedroom door, trying to alert your roommates that something was… wrong. Off. Unusual in a bad way, and you had no frame of reference for the feeling. You could remember falling into the hallway as the door swung open, and then the pulling intensified. And then it stopped.

You figured you were in the hospital; that was the only reasonable explanation, unless your roommates had decided to leave you for dead in the hall, but they wouldn’t do that. They had terrible penchants for eating your cereal, leaving dishes in the sink, and having guests over without warning, but they weren’t evil enough to deny you medical attention. Hopefully.

It was probably your appendix. That was the first ailment your brain always went to when you were sick, and the hyperfixation was finally coming to fruition. You couldn’t remember any pain, any fever prior to passing out on the carpeted floor, but you were sure that was it. The heaviness of your eyelids lessened as you worked through the explanation in your mind.

pellucid-constellations

Entanglement (Epilogue)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel had been pulling away. You thought it was from stress. His busy schedule. From being tired. Anything but what you assumed you saw in the street that evening. Anything but that.

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: Fluff, a hint of melancholic angst, healing

a/n: This mini-series is officially completed!! This epilogue takes place after part 4 (the ending). The alt ending is a different universe of sadness, but I threw in some easter eggs from it if you look hard hehe 🤭 ily!!! I loved this series!! Enjoyyy <33

Main Masterlist ♡

He said he loved you often—every day, multiple times a day. He whispered it while you were sleeping and mouthed it when you looked for him across busy rooms. Azriel kissed you hard and said the words into your mouth. He pressed them against your skin as if wanting them engraved there. As if, if he could, the memory of them would protect you from the future. From times untold.

After confronting him about a change in your relationship weeks ago, Azriel showed you he loved you so freely. He went overboard, in your opinion, but you let him. You let him because you were still healing, too, and it wasn’t easy to forget the time you had spent apart.

But, for you, this was a wound that could heal, skin over.

pellucid-constellations

Entanglement (4)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel had been pulling away. You thought it was from stress. His busy schedule. From being tired. Anything but what you assumed you saw in the street that evening. Anything but that.

Word count: 5.5k

Warnings: Angst!!, mentions of cheating/infidelity, miscommunication, depictions of depression, injury

a/n: Remember this is the happy ending!! The ending I had planned originally so it is the og <3 I have a poll for the alt ending angst if you would like to add your vote!! Thank you all SO much for the love on this fic!! I've had so much fun writing it and hearing from you!! ❤️

Main Masterlist ♡

When the burning in your lungs had subsided, consciousness found you. Fresh air felt abrasive against your chest when you inhaled. You coughed, and a gentle hand cupped your forehead, urging you to relax the unintentional tightness of your face.

“Settle,” someone commanded, voice with an authoritative ring. “You are all right.”

Your eyes flickered behind closed lids. It took a moment for you to connect the voice to Madja, and then another to allow the harsh glow of candlelight to find you. Madja always kept candles. You could make out the smell of wax with each sense you gained back.

“Waking up now?” she asked.

You were alone with her in her clinic. You rose and felt your chest contract as you propped yourself up on shaking arms. “What—” you started, voice a broken whisper.

pellucid-constellations

Entanglement (Alternative Ending)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel had been pulling away. You thought it was from stress. His busy schedule. From being tired. Anything but what you assumed you saw in the street that evening. Anything but that.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Heavy angst, death, this is so sad and you asked for it 😭 (Recommend reading part 3 before reading this)

a/n: Okay well ouch! Here is the angst ending voted for by you all 🥲 Thank you again for reading this series. Writing angst is one of my favorite creative outlets <3 ily!! A happy drabble will be coming as the last piece for Entanglement.

Main Masterlist ♡

“Azriel, what the hell are you doing?” Cassian sighed. “Seriously. What is this?”

Azriel furrowed his brows. He couldn’t answer. He wanted to—to be able to provide something that made sense—but his body was burning. His mind was scrambled.

“Cassian,” Feyre warned, but she sounded just as tired.

“I know we were going to do it differently or whatever, but I can’t,” Cassian waved off. “This isn’t you. This—you love y/n.” Azriel felt his body spasm at the sound of your name. “You’ve loved her for longer than I can remember you not loving her. She went back to Summer for a week and you followed her there. She was everything to you one month ago. That doesn’t turn off. That’s not—what is going on with you?”

Summer Court. Azriel could remember that. He thought hard, pushing past the murky haze in the crevices of his mind, and he found you. You smiling. Your eyes. You were always so soft. Something else was in his mind too, tapping, familiar. Azriel ignored it. He burned and hurt and he thought of you.

pellucid-constellations

Entanglement (3)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel had been pulling away. You thought it was from stress. His busy schedule. From being tired. Anything but what you assumed you saw in the street that evening. Anything but that.

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: Angst!!, mentions of cheating/infidelity, miscommunication, depictions of depression, injury, POV jumps

a/n: You know the drill here. I added another part but I swear part 4 is IT. Debating doing an alt ending for you guys, but this is still hurt/comfort and angst with a happy ending OKAY 🫵 ily thank you for reading you are all the lights of my life

Main Masterlist ♡

Waiting became the worst.

After the disaster of a lunch that left you emptier than before, everyone told you to wait—don’t leave just yet and let us figure things out first and don’t make any quick decisions. Everyone wanted you to wait. To wait for what, you weren’t sure; Azriel had made his stance quite clear.

Dim melancholy had its hooks in deep, and there was nothing to wait for. A different job in Velaris? An apartment across town? Those things weren’t going to fix anything.

Along with the waiting came the confusion.

You had heard the pain in Azriel’s voice when he begged Cassian for a chance to look at you. He had said he would always choose you, even when actively choosing someone else. He said he… loved that woman, but he sobbed when you agreed you would no longer be mates.

pellucid-constellations

Entanglement (2)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel had been pulling away. You thought it was from stress. His busy schedule. From being tired. Anything but what you assumed you saw in the street that evening. Anything but that.

Word count: 3.7k

Warnings: Angst!!, mentions of cheating/infidelity, miscommunication, depictions of depression (it gets worse before it gets better)

a/n: You guys are gonna freak but againnnn pls trust me :) I promise it's good :) just give me one sec for the last part :) angst time :)

Main Masterlist ♡

After two days of avoiding Azriel, you put a name to the dizzying nausea that had become a permanent fixture in your gut.

Resignation.

This had all felt so sudden, yet the finality of the situation rose above all else. Azriel hadn’t opened his side of the bond, even as you knew your sadness seeped through the wall you’d hastily thrown up. He hadn’t sent shadows to check on you in place of the connection. He hadn’t come beating down Mor’s door, begging to speak with you, begging for you to at least yell at him.

It had just been… silence.

After some ruminating, you figured that maybe this wasn’t sudden. Maybe Azriel had been contemplating your relationship for a long time and was just good at hiding it.

pellucid-constellations

Entanglement

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel had been pulling away. You thought it was from stress. His busy schedule. From being tired. Anything but what you assumed you saw in the street that evening. Anything but that.

Word count: 3.2k

Warnings: Angst!!, mentions of cheating/infidelity, miscommunication (you guys have to trust me here)

a/n: Hiiii angsty time :p More parts to come if you're interested hehe love you thank you for reading!!!! mwah :* (happy ending also)

Main Masterlist ♡

You pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes, trying to ignore the sweltering ache in your head. He hadn’t meant that—you were sure. Tears were dried on your cheeks and your chest hurt and you were sure Azriel hadn’t meant that.

A shaky breath escaped the constriction of your throat. Just ten minutes ago, you’d felt fine. Happy, even. Azriel had told you he’d be home for dinner, and you spent hours on the meal. He’d been busier lately, tasked with more work than he should have been with Rhysand’s son just being born. So, you spent hours on dinner and hoped he’d be able to relax after.

He hadn’t.

He hadn’t even eaten the dinner.

pellucid-constellations

Entanglement (0.5)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel had been pulling away. You thought it was from stress. His busy schedule. From being tired. Anything but what you assumed you saw in the street that evening. Anything but that.

Word count: 670

Warnings: Fluff and love but definitely foreboding 😔 Prequel drabble to the main fic

a/n: I'm sooo busy on the weekends (social life lol) so no part 4 right now but here is a prequel drabble to hold you over!! I hope this hurts :) Love youuu sorry for the wait with the final pieces!!

Main Masterlist ♡

In the month before, Azriel was so in love with you he ached.

You were only going to be gone a week. Three days had already passed, and so, that left four to gruel through without you. You figured he could handle that.

But in the month before, Azriel could not handle that.

Many assumed that being mated for so long eased the passion between you. And, sure, a fire wasn’t always flickering beneath his skin at the sight of you. But the embers were always there. The need to be near you was always pulling him taut. Azriel had never known something to be so comforting and so invigorating at once.

billyrayjo

I love you, I'm sorry

Pairing: Azriel x reader

Description: Things between you and Azriel had been going great, until he comes home from a mission wrapped around another. Realizing it wasn't as serious to him, you run. Just intending to take a walk, things go south when you realize you're in trouble... and the shadowsinger might just not care.

Tags/ Warnings: Angst, injury, hurt/comfort, Azriel is a meanie, Cassian being Cassian.

Smoothing the skirts of your gown, your gaze couldn't help but fall on the necklace you hadn't taken off in weeks. Azriel had gifted it to you for solstice, the blue of the gem looking suspiciously similar to that of his siphons.

You wouldn't say you were courting, per se. Your relationship had simply bloomed on its own into something neither of you had ever bothered to name.

Your fingers drifted over the stone's surface, and for the first time all day, the tightness in your shoulders began to ease. Azriel was meant to be home tonight.

It was no surprise to you that Rhysand had deemed Azriel's mission over the same night he intended to host a feast for the inner circle and outside friends. According to your High Lord, Azriel was due back any moment now, the details of his mission unbeknownst to you. You were just excited to see him.

Azriel had gone on a few missions since this relationship had intensified, the male always seeking you out the second his feet touched down on the balcony of the house of wind.

You hadn't intended to miss him so much. Things were still fairly new, and to feel this attached to him was almost alarming. You weren't used to having someone to wait for, unsure if you should act overly joyful at his return or a little more nonchalant.

Shaking your head for some clarity, you let your gaze fall upon your figure one last time. You had chosen the best getup you had available for the occasion, something in you itching to see the reaction of the shadowsinger. The dark fabric and intricate lace might have been on purpose to reference his shadows, but that was insignificant.

He always took you in appreciatively, whether in a nightgown or training leathers, his gaze slowly dropping to your feet before rising to your face. You felt your cheeks heat at the memory of the way his eyes darkened when landing on you.

Finally tearing your gaze from the mirror, you cleared your throat from the intensity before making your way out of your bed chambers.

The violins grew louder as you neared the party, your shoes clicking lightly against the stone of the ground beneath you. Finally catching sight of a few guests, you sighed in relief when your eyes fell on Mor already chatting up a familiar looking couple.

Timidly approaching her, you let your hand meet her arm before she turned to look at you, her gaze lighting up immediately at the recognition.

"Finally! I was starting to think you weren't coming!"

You giggled as her arms wrapped around your neck, her stance slightly wobbly likely from the wine glass already clutched in her fire red nails.

"I see someone has already cracked open the wine..."

She lightly smacked at your still outstretched hand, the glass sloshing lightly at her movements. Pulling entirely away from the couple she was previously speaking to, she wrapped her arm around yours before leading you deeper into the party.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. I know you're just itching for a glass yourself." She huffed, heels clacking along as she kept her pace beside you.

An hour or two later, you were three glasses in, watching amusedly as Cassian reenacted an interaction he had in the market earlier this week.

"I don't understand why it's so laughable that I, warlord and killer of men, would be interested in personal hygiene?! You should've seen the females giggling from the stall over!"

A content laughter settled among the few fae around him, his expression exaggerated as if waiting for someone to answer his rhetorical question. Just when he seemed ready to continue, his posture stiffened at something he was seeing behind your back.

Furrowing your brows in confusion, you went to look behind you when Cassian's hand suddenly landed on your shoulder.

"Hey! Why don't we- uh- would you like to come get a drink with me?"

You could see the nervous gulp trail down his throat as his gaze searched yours, his eyebrows lifted almost in a plead as he gently pulled you toward him. Glancing down at your almost full wine glass, you lifted your gaze back to him confused, raising it slightly to catch his attention. It would have almost been comical if he didn't look so close to soiling his trousers.

"Not you, silly! Me! I need a drink, you know, all this 'working the crowd' has really dried out my thr-"

His plead was interrupted by a few gasps from the fae around you, your attention quickly snapping back to the situation at hand. Just as you went to turn around a second time, Cassian quickly pulled you again, your wine splashing over the rim and onto your fingers.

"Hey! What is going on with you? What is everyone starting at-"

Just as the words passed your lips, your gaze finally landed behind you. Across the party, an unmistakable spymaster was stood in the crowd. Feeling your pulse increase at his presence, you let your body fully turn in his direction, eager to greet him.

You were stopped in your tracks as your gaze lowered, your feet coming to an abrupt halt when you noticed a manicured hand wrapped around his bicep. Eyes quickly shooting to his right, you felt your heart stop entirely as your eyes fell on a beautiful fae woman. His eyes were on her as she laughed, her gaze more than friendly as she looked up at him.

All you could manage was a small "Oh." as Cassian appeared at your side, his hand finding your arm and tugging again.

Letting him steer you away from the sight, the gears in your mind began turning as you walked with him to his unknown destination. Voices invaded your mind, whispers from the party guests. Statements along the lines of "Azriel never brings a female" or "I wonder if he has found his mate". You only snapped out of your spiral momentarily when you heard a door shut behind you.

"Look y/n. I know what it looks like. Just listen to me-"

You raised your hand abruptly, cutting him off.

"What it looks like? Cass, it's what it is. You don't have to try and spare my feelings."

Cassian ran a hand through his hair, a frustrated sigh leaving his lips.

"No y/n seriously. Let me explain."

You took in his devastated features, matching his look with your own. How awful that Cassian would have to be the one to let you down easily, his own brother too occupied to reject you himself.

"No Cass. It's fine. You don't have to explain for him."

You quickly turned away from him, dropping your glass on a nearby table. You didn't realize you were crying until you caught your reflection in the mirror above it, tears trailing through the makeup you had spent hours perfecting.

Steeling yourself in the reflection, you didn't let Cassian speak another word before you were gone. The rage and utter betrayal in your mind blending into one tainted landscape. Where the winds matched the ice you felt in your veins, the temperatures as brutal as the thrum in your heart.

Landing on your knees, you didn't even have to look up to know where you had landed. The snow cushioned your fall, pooling around the skirts of your gown. Your chest rose and fell rapidly as you stared, watching as a thin layer of sleet covered your lap almost instantly.

Letting your hands fall to your sides, your fingers didn't even flinch as they came in contact with the freezing sludge beneath you. You just sat there, letting your body become one with the elements and bring you back to reality.

It didn't take long before you felt the biting chill racing across your skin, your gown not doing anything to shield from the biting winds. It was refreshing.

This place was not unfamiliar. You had been here before, many times. When you had nightmares, when you were so overwhelmed with emotion you couldn't escape, your mind always conjured you here. You don't know why, but the place that once seemed to frighten you was now calling with open arms. The one place nobody knew. The place of your deepest fears, now becoming your sanctuary.

Nobody would be crazy enough to follow you out here. Even if they somehow knew where you were.

It felt like hours had passed when you finally stood. Body uncontrollably jerking with the cold, you forced yourself onto unsteady feet. Letting your gaze fall on your destination, you took in the twisted black trees and steady downpour of sleet. The hairs on the back of your neck immediately stood. Something was watching from the darkness.

Whipping around at a cracking twig beside you, your hands immediately raised in defense, body tightening with anticipation. Feeling your breaths tumble past your lips, you couldn't help the jumps in your muscles from the freezing temperatures. As you squinted through the snowfall, you made out a large figure twisting its' way through the forest.

You jumped when you heard another sound behind you, forcing you to take your eyes off the first creature and check your blindspot in case of an ambush. Not seeing anything, you quickly whipped your head back to the original threat, but were shocked into a gasp when the creature appeared right in front of you. Tripping over your own feet, you gathered your skirts in your hand and ran.

Jumping over roots, ankles twisting and bending at awkward angles, you ran through the snow as fast as you could. Your toes were numb as the snow soaked through your slippers, making it even harder to measure your steps. You checked behind you every few steps, anguish crawling up your throat in a scream as you realized it was gaining on you faster than you anticipated.

Deciding running wasn't going to save you, you swallowed your fear and stopped your steps. Whipping around, you prepared to strike at the monster on your heels. A shudder crashed through you at the sight of it.

It was nothing you had ever seen before. A large reptile-like head rested on an even larger body, the moon glinting off of massive claws digging into the slush before you. It's long serpent-like neck twisted and turned as it looked at you, teeth baring and tongue lashing curiously as it sized you up.

You didn't even have a chance to take in the creature before it was pouncing, teeth chomping at the space your head was just in. Dodging, you tucked and weaved as quickly as you could to dodge its' blows. As you danced around the creature, you could hear its' voice in hissing whispers, and one of them made you stop dead in your tracks.

"The Ssssspymasssterssss mate!"

You could only stare as its' tongue flicked with each 'S', a pang of confusion almost knocking you back harder than one of the creature's blows.

Your moment of pause would cost you.

Before you could even utter a word, one of the creatures scaled legs soared, its claws sinking right into your side. You could feel as each claw pushed through your ribs, nothing but a small wheeze escaping as you held the intense eye contact. The searing pain was nothing compared to the memory you'd have of those eyes, holding your own like it never wanted you to forget. Your body had no choice but to collapse where you stood, the world blurring until you were looking up at the sky above you. You could barely make out a scaled tail whipping above you as the creature slipped into the night.

Your hand clutched your side, white hot pain shooting through you. You sucked in a ragged breath, only for it to catch as fluid invaded your lungs. A harsh cough wracked your body, your body convulsing and warm liquid spilling out onto your face.

Trying and failing to suck in a full breath, your battered body jerked and pulsed with the pain, your vision becoming hazy for a moment before focusing back on the night sky. You could feel the sleet hitting your face harshly, forcing your eyes to blink rapidly.

The wind howled around you, the once still trees looking alive as the rays of the moon slipped between their branches. You could hear the whistle of the wind through them, creaks and groans echoing around you at the pressure pushing against them.

Just as your vision blurred a second time, you thought you heard something. Your fae ears twitched, straining against the raging winds around you. Hope bloomed in your chest, fragile, as you listened.

There it was.

Faint at first, then louder.

"Y/n!" a voice bellowed through the trees. "Answer me, sweetheart!"

Your heart lurched.

Azriel.

Every instinct urged you to call out, to let him know you were here and you needed him. You opened your mouth, but only a weak broken gurgle escaped past the blood on your lips. Pain ripped through your chest.

You didn't realize you were crying until you felt the shrill trail of tears down your temples, the realization that Azriel wouldn't find you in time bringing a rough cry past your lips.

Your heart lurched a second time as another shout cut through the trees.

"Y/n?" His voice cracked with panic. "I hear you, baby."

Footsteps thundered through the forest, growing closer with every passing second, branches snapping beneath his steps. Shadows stirred between the trees, racing ahead of their master.

"I'm coming." he called, breathless. "Hold on for me. I'm coming."

Your blurry gaze catches a movement in the tree line before you, branches separating and snow falling as a tall figure bursts through. Before you can even orient yourself Azriel has landed on his knees beside you, the glow of his siphons drawing your focus to his chest.

Hands come up to cradle your face, your eyes flickering to his own as his head blocks your line of sight to the sky above. You can feel the trail of blood running down your chin when you attempt to smile up at him.

You can feel his hands leave your face as he assesses your body, another gurgle coming from you when his hand comes in contact with the wound on your side.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.” he coos, his free hand coming back up to wipe at the tears rolling down your temple.

Your hand comes up to grab at his resting on your hair now, your own blood coating your fingers visible in your peripheral.

A broken sound leaves his lips as you choke once again, an almost feral growl you had never heard from him before.

His shadows slowly start to surround you, and before you can attempt another breath, his face steeles into one of resolve.

“I’m going to winnow you. I have to get you back to Velaris so Madja can help.” his hands automatically start moving to hold your body to his, one sliding beneath your back and the other cradling the back of your head.

At the movement, you can’t help the wince that tumbles past your lips.

“I know it hurts, sweetheart. But you have to stay with me, okay? Can you do that for me?” his eyes are pleading when he locks them with your own, his breaths trembling.

With as much of a nod as you can muster, you brace yourself for the pain about to consume you.

Azriel brings your body to his, tucking your face into the crook of his neck. You watch in awe as the shadows surround you fully. You had never been surrounded by such complete and utter darkness.

You can hear Azriel talking to you, a repeated “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry” passing through your ears as the world around you disappears.

With the warp through time, you can feel your entire being teetering over the edge of life and death. The pressure on your limbs is so strong you can do nothing but hold your breath, praying to the mother that you make it to the other side.

Azriel might love another, but you still have friends, a family waiting for you. Even though your heart was on the verge of breaking, you still had hope. Hope for happiness and a future where you didn’t feel like this.

Just as a bright white began taking over your vision, Azriel clutching to you like he would never let go again, the shadows dissipated. You could feel the coolness of their embrace leave you suddenly, before your consciousness began to fade.

Muffled in the background, you could hear Azriel yelling. “Get Madja! She doesn’t have much longer. She can’t breathe.” tore through his lips as your body transferred from his to a softer surface. You finally could let your mind relax.

The first thing to return to you was sound. You could hear the faint crackling in the hearth, a soft sound coming from the fae lights around you. Letting your ears tune into the new environment, your fingers began searching of their own volition.

A soft, familiar texture smoothed under your fingertips, the warmth of the comforter feeling foreign after so long in the cold.

Clearing your throat, your eyes immediately popped open when you realized that there was no longer anything interfering with your breaths.

It took a moment for your vision to clear, almost as if the sleet had to clear away before you could fully take in your surroundings. Slowly sitting up, you winced at the pinch in your side.

Your brows furrowed as you realized that this was not your room. The dark bedding and wall of daggers gave you a good idea of whose bed you were occupying, but you weren’t sure why.

Realizing you were alone in the room, you forced your legs to swing over the side of the bed, the grunt of effort an added reminder of the trauma your body had gone through.

You didn’t even stop to take in your appearance, which you were sure had been cleaned up by some form of magic, before tiptoeing through the cracked bedroom door.

It took a couple of stops against the wall before you began hearing muffled voices in the dining room. Your fae healing had gotten you this far, but you weren’t entirely confident in your own movements.

Steeling yourself and taking a calming breath, you prepared yourself to see the Illyrian you were sure held your broken heart in his own two, scarred, hands. Right as you were about to round the corner, you stopped again when you heard the smooth timbre of his voice rumbling through the room.

“And nobody thought to fucking tell her that?”

Realizing you were the topic of discussion, you decided to stop the inevitable and make your presence known. You only made it two steps into the room before every head snapped in your direction, and another two before your body was brutally crushed into an embrace.

“Oh, thank the mother! I am so glad you’re alr- wai- what are you doing out of bed?!” Mor’s voice screeched against your ear. You could only wince as she bombarded you, her arms immediately pulling back as she jerked herself away from you.

You only smiled apologetically at her as her expression filled with guilt. It only took two seconds before that look turned into one of gratitude, her body coming in to hug you a lot more gently the second time around.

A round of agreements and scolds met you as Mor finally released you, your gaze jumping around the room to take in the entire inner circle. Out of nerves, your eyes purposely avoided the darkest corner of the room.

You could feel the cool drag of shadows as they assessed your frame, only steeling yourself further until they were content and sliding back to their master.

As all eyes stayed locked on your form, you finally cleared your throat once more before letting out a scratchy “Anyone got any water?”

After what felt like hours, you had finally finished explaining every detail of your mishap with the serpent like creature. Leaving out the tidbit about your rescue, everyone seemed content enough to begin parting for their own duties. With an order to rest and hydrate, you also turned to leave the dining room when a deep voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Can we talk?”

Your body felt frozen as you took in his voice. A mixture of exhaustion and sadness finding you from across the room.

Keeping your back turned to him, you let everybody else pass you by before swallowing your nerves and turning to face him.

You could only bring yourself to look at his chest, his fighting leathers now traded for a black shirt and trousers. You could see the daunting outline of his wings behind him, your fingers immediately coming to twist in front of you.

You tucked a stray hair behind your ear, gaze dropping as you waited for him to break the silence.

It took a few long moments, but the first words to leave him almost had your mouth dropping in shock.

“Can you look at me please?”

Your eyes immediately lifted to his own, a frown of confusion painting your face when you took in the sight of him.

His hair was disheveled as if he had been vigorously running his fingers through it, his under eyes dark and a shadow forming on the lower half of his face.

Just as you went to blurt out something, anything, his form crossed the room. He looked almost afraid to get too close to you, choosing instead to stop with a good yard of distance between you.

Your eyes flickered between his own as you processed your thoughts, unsure what you were really supposed to say. Before you could get out a word, his rough voice stopped you again.

“How are you feeling?”

You were a bit taken aback by his question. A few embarrassing stutters leaving you before you finally coughed up a quick “Good. I feel pretty good.”

Your fingers kept violently twisting as he eyed you up and down, your brain bouncing a million different questions around before it finally settled on one.

You didn’t even have a moment to second guess before the words were forcing past your lips.

“Am I your mate?”

A look of certain shock passed over Azriel’s face before he steeled himself again, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. His hand came up to run through his hair as his face portrayed the inner turmoil clearly a jumbled mess in his brain.

“I only ask because before that… snake thing… attacked me it hissed out something along the lines of ‘the spymaster’s mate’ and it really confused me because after the party I’m not really sure what’s going on. I understand if you were planning to reject the bond for that female but why string me along before then, you know? I thought something was forming between us but now I think I might have just been exaggerating things in my own mind- I mean, that woman was beautiful, and I understand why you would choose her over me but-“

You only stopped to take a breath as Azriel roared a growl, your body flinching back as he whirled towards the dining table. He looked as if he was about to break something before his hand came up to rub at his chest.

Your shocked gaze stared at his back as his shoulders heaved, his wings twitching wildly before pulling tightly back into their normal position.

A sigh that carried the weight of the world left him before he whirled back around, his legs taking two more steps toward you. His hand reached out as if to touch you before he seemingly thought better of it and brought it back to pinch at the bridge of his nose instead.

“Reject you? Y/n, please, you’re killing me.” his face held nothing but anguish as he brought his gaze back up to meet yours. “Rhysand asked me to escort that female to the party. She was linked to some Illyrian’s we’ve been monitoring and he wanted me to get more intel. Fuck, I would’ve never- I never- Cassian was supposed to tell you. He was supposed to tell you before the party started but he was too busy following Nesta around like a lost pu- oh fuck this.”

He seemed to decide against the last part of his explanation before he closed the rest of the distance between you. Your breath caught at the proximity when his hands came up to cradle your jaw, his eyes piercing yours as a confused furrow took over your brow.

Without realizing, your hands came up to grip his forearms, your eyes fleeting between his own as you processed his words.

His body only pressed closer to yours as you hesitated, the gears running a mile a minute in your mind.

“I swear to you, y/n. There is no one else in this galaxy I would’ve rather been with than you. I hate that you even questioned my feelings for you. I’m yours. I have been since the day we met.”

His eyes only intensified his words as you searched them, the gold flecks throughout his orbs almost glowing as they locked with yours.

You felt the trail of a tear before you could stop it, your lip wobbling for a reason unbeknownst to you. Azriel was quick to wipe it away, his forehead coming down to rest against yours. His voice lowered to a whisper as he continued.

“I almost lost it when I heard you were missing. I don’t even remember leaving the party or how I knew where to find you. I would tear this world apart inch by inch if it meant keeping you safe, sweetheart. I promise you that.”

Your breath shuddered through a gasp as more tears made their way down your cheeks. Letting your eyes fall closed, you shook your head against his before meeting his gaze again.

“So basically you’re saying that my disappearance was a slight overreaction?” you whispered, your teeth finding your lip as you waited for his reaction, a smile threatening to break out on your face.

Azriel shuddered a laugh of disbelief, his hands pulling you fully into his embrace. You could’ve sworn you saw a slight wetness in his eyes before your face was tucked firmly into his neck.

You and Azriel had reluctantly split after your embrace caused a sudden twinge in your side, his warmth immediately turning into panic at the wince that left your lips.

You had parted with the promise that you would get some rest before finding him in the morning to finish your conversation.

Flipping harshly onto your other side, you sighed in frustration as sleep continued to evade you. Every time you closed your eyes you saw manicured nails, serpent like eyes, and the look on Azriel’s face as it assessed your form on the floor of the woods. Also, the mantra of mate, mate, mate playing on a loop in your mind didn’t help.

Kicking the blankets off of your legs, you didn’t give yourself time to rethink your movements as you tiptoed out of your bedroom and towards Azriel’s. Pausing at his door, you let your knuckles lightly tap the surface before you heard a quick “Come in”.

Pushing past the threshold, you let the door close behind you before you made yourself as small as possible in his doorway. Wringing your fingers again, you slowly gazed up at Azriel, sitting wide awake in bed with a book resting on his chest.

You twisted your mouth in contemplation before letting out a small “I can’t sleep.”, your gaze dropping to your bare feet before snapping back up at the sound of rustling blankets.

Azriel had lifted his duvet, his body sliding further into the bed as he gestured for you to join him.

Shyly stalking towards his bed, you gently climbed into the open space next to him before his hands immediately made contact and brought you into his embrace.

The position almost ended up being a horizontal hug, your head tucked under his chin. One arm was wrapped around your waist as the other rested under your head, his hand coming up to twist a strand of your hair. His wing folded over the both of you, the lights instantly dimming into a soft glow through the membrane.

You slowly tilted your head back to meet his eyes, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you took in his features. Letting it out as a whisper, you started with “I’m sorry for bothering you..” only to be immediately cut off.

Azriel tucked your head back into his neck, his chest rising with a deep inhale before he whispered back.

“Shhh. This is the best moment of my life.”

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