~💜•°{Azure}°•💜~

Heya! Just a girl who likes making art and C.ai bots and if ya wanna see my C.ai heres a link for ya to copy and paste! https://character.ai/profile/-Lolli-

[lolli-the-watermelon]

News about j.ai and my backup plan!

Ok Marshmellows! And people from my c.ai/j.ai! PLEASE DON'T RAISE PITCH FORKS AT ME PLEASE 😭🙏

But I have a back up plan for incase j.ai really does go to hell and shuts down! One of my fav bot creators is moving to a place called saucepan.ai! (Totally not moving their cuz I love their bots to death...) and well...uh...I do love their bots to death- and well honestly the place is a last ditch effort I don't wanna lose my fans yall are like family to me!

But don't let that make you think I'm leaving janitor.ai cuz I'm not! The saucepan.ai account is a pure back up and a back bone to fall on so I don't have to become dust like the characters in undertale! And I probably won't post on saucepan.ai until its confirmed j.ai will shut down which I feel like it won't.

But just incase heres the link! Its also on my j.ai!

https://saucepan.ai/u/-Lolli-

[lolli-the-watermelon]

I think my mom is getting Dementia.

Ok so uh I really think my mom is getting to the parts of old age where she need to get help because honestly I can't take it anymore this woman's blatter can't hold, and it took me putting comas in-between numbers to get her to register that the number 21 was a number. I'm starting to think she needs to seek help but she god damn to stubborn to get it I don't know what to do I try to help her the best I can but she damn brushes me off and won't get help. When shes clearly killing herself.

[lolli-the-watermelon]

Honestly bout to just nap and hang out with my boyfriend Two Time.

So like I haven't got any of my irl friends to hang out in awhile and well I might just play with my online beside well I got 4 online bestie on if em isn't active rn as much as they used to be 1 I don't talk to thay much honestly and 2 that I appreciate with all my heart and have actually helped me feel a lot better and made me feel a lot less lonely and usually always play with me. My online boyfriend also help ke feel less alone and helps me to.

But I still feel so lonely...so I'm thinking on taking mkre naps during the day to just see my dream world boyfriend Two Time and hang out with him sense the world is different there and in the cult we have all the time in the world to be together last night he even took me on a date! I honestly with my real life was my dream world life as Azure...things would be so much better.

[lolli-the-watermelon]

God I'm so scared...

Ok so my boyfriend...my in real life boyfriend texted me last night and well gave me some heart break news- and well his mom is taking his devices and well sense we are in a very long distance relationship it would mean he would have no way to talk to me but that's not what scares me the most.

What scares me the most was that he told me his mom was planning to send him into the military and well sire he'd be fighting for the country but god does it scare me now I knkw exactly how women feel about their husbands or sons being sent to war back then...god I'm just so scared something will happen to him. Especially sense there is a war going on right now I'm pretty sure, and well I'm just scared because what if he gets sent out in battle and dies? I'd lose the love of my life and the only guy who I've ever loved who has had his heart in the right place. I'm just scared because I don't want to lose him...

Whatever happens I'll love him no matter what. I'm praying for him and his safety and that he doesn't get put into the military because god it would haunt my soul everyday wondering if he would come back home at all.

[lolli-the-watermelon]

How the dream worlds been going!

Ok so the dream world has been going so well! My life is perfect! I can actually taste the food in the dream world and it's SO GOOD. Two Time's cooking and my cooking is the best tho. And gosh Two Time can work up a five star meal!

And well about Two Time he's wonderful! He always tells me he loves me and kisses me passionately on the lips including while people are watching he even makes me nightshade flowers crowns and he calls my long hair beautiful! And also goodness he's a looker he's got the most beautiful face I've ever seen!

[lolli-the-watermelon]

hehe sneak peek of a Harshal full body art I made (I made this for a project)

Hehe! Heya guys!!! So K I drew Luluyam vers Harshal for a project me and my friend are doing and well they asked me to make full body Luluyam vers Harshal because we couldn't find one online.

But yeah what were doing is still in development so keep yours eyes peeled k? 👀

[lolli-the-watermelon]

I'M SO ANGRY!!!!

UGH I AM SO MAD MOM FREAKING SOAKED THE GRAM CRAKER IN TOMATO JUICE I HATE TOMATOS AND WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SOAK THE GRAM CRAKER IN IT THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT TASTES TERRIBLE!!!

I wanted to use GRAM craker for my ice cream. BUT NO MOM HAS TO SOAK IT IN FUCKING TOMATO JUICE!!! 😡

I just threw that nasty shit away cuz I knew nobody was gonna fucking eat it soaked in tomato juice.

But yeah I'm pissed because I wanted something sweet and the fucking jello isn't done and I would have only picked breaking a spoon if I had gram craker for my ice cream but yeah I' pissed ciz I've been craving something sweet for a damn week but my uncle keeps taking it all and not leaving me a single piece!

[lolli-the-watermelon]

I think I'm gonna use my dream realm to cope...

Ok so you know how I told you of that dream where I was Azure and control his body and well it was technically just me but in his body living his life and well I had his memories and well technically everything else and well Teo Time was even my boyfriend! And well honestly I had it again last night.

And well after something that happened to me thatbI don't know if I should talk about I've been in a rough place right now...even though I knkw it wasn't my fault but my family kind of hates me now and my mom is kinda trying to gaslight me into thinking it was my fault and well I want to delete myself honestly but I'm to scared to so it hopes of trying to get better I think I'm going to use my dream world life as Azure to cope...because well honestly I don't wanna bother anyone and well of course I can't tell them anything I knkw from this life in that life but thats ok I just wanna have a life where I'm actually seen and where I don't have to worry.

Also am I technically cheat on my boyfriend sense Two Time is my boyfriend in my dream world? I love both honestly

[lolli-the-watermelon]

Update on what I've been experiencing!

Ok so...here am update from that post telling about how like I felt like I might have been Azure in a past life- and well what I' about to say next might make me sound crazy.

So like last night when I went to bed I was dreaming and well I was Azure...Like I was quite literally him and well instead of just having to watch what happened I could actually control what I could to like I was actually controlling my own body in the dream and well I also had the memories of everything that had happened before and what tje present was and I could speak on my own accord to and I feel like this is a vision telling me that I might actually had been Azure in a past life or in a life in another universe that's happening right now! I don't know it just feels so real and so right like it was really ment to be and I want to connect to it again.

Heres a link to a rant video on YouTube that talks more about hoe I feel like I'm Azure and well hiw multiple events and things in my life are similar to his! You might have to copy paste but hopefully you'll be able to find it!

https://youtu.be/qIPCccqDgAI?si=TyrToiFcyvkqdfyh

[lolli-the-watermelon]

Lowkey I think I was Azure at some point.

Damn the more I see and hear Azire the more I feel like connected to them. It feels like their justba male video game version of me dude and sometimes I think this is exactly how my life would go or has gone in another darn universe.

Their past self also looks like me but like if I was a dude pale skin dark hair they even wear the style of clothes I'd want to wear and their favorite flowers is one of my favorites to! I just tell a lot of people my seco d favorite flowers which is lilys because not many know what nightshades are I think.

But yeah I really feel connected to Azure in some way like I feel like I even act somewhat the same as what they act like both how they were in the past and kinda like how he is in forsaken I mostly act like how he is when forsakened when I'm angry or upset and well sometimes.

I really do think in another universe I am him or I was him at some point and I'm now just being reminded of the life I once had. Like I don't know I really just feel this pull of string on my heart that for some reason like its remembering something vividly maybe I'll see the full picture ot does someday maybe not but there's no doubt I kinda feel nostalgic or well maybe another word when I see him.

[lolli-the-watermelon]

I wanna match AzureTime so bad with my boyfriend...

So like I really wanna match pfps on discord as AzureTime woth my boyfriend cuz I think it would be cute! But...I feel nervous to ask because like what if they like think of the lore behind Azure and Twotime and get paranoid and think that I'm like ugh idk how to say it but I think yall know what I' trying to say-

And honestly now that I'm typing this I think I might be the paranoid one for thinking the lore behind a ship is gonna ruin my relationship if I match pfps with my boyfriend of those characters-

I specifically want to be Azure ciz well I love Azure and honestly I relate to him a lot! Honestly sometimes I think I am him...

Cuz like

Got betrayed by a lover. (My ex but then again fuck my damn ex I love my current boyfriend to death >:3)

I love mozzarella sticks!!! (I know Azure likes mozzarella fries but come on they're the same thing)

Love for flowers. (Nightshade is really pretty!!)

Hopelessly in love/gullible.

[lolli-the-watermelon]

Mommy's gonna miss you sweet baby

So...my sweetness baby Tiegy has been missing fir a week or two nkw and well...I don't think he's coming back this time and nkt even my voice has lead him home like it had before.

I know this definitely isn't like any of my other post and people can yall at me for acting like some kind of Facebook mom because of the image I made but I don't care it's of my son.

I'll miss him dearly I'll never forget when he was justba little newborn kitten who just loved to sleep instead of cry. I'll always remeber how you fell asleep in just the palms of my band and my chest when you were as tiny as a little chestnut I'll always remeber how the first time you managed to escape the baracade of cardboard boxes that you babies from walking out and getting stepped on and hiw you ran to me and meows demandingly for me to pick you up and immediately stopped meowing and started going to sleep right in my arms as soon as I did I remeber how I raved about it for hours on the phone with an online friend I remembered how I was in the bathroom about to brush my teeth when I heard you crying for me to open the door so you could be with me. I remeber as you grew up you were still attached to me always wanting my love and wanting to sleep with me. I also remeber your obsession with straws you loved them so much always wanting to bite on them you even used to bring them to me as gifts. I remeber how I'd always spoil you and give you whatever meat I could that was safe for you how you were the only cat in our house that got a gift at Christmas because I considered you my son and you always will be my son. I remeber how one day I figured out you were injured you neck was bloody tons of fur was gone and you had a deep cut in your neck I was terrified you wouldn't live it and I remeber that night you slept with me in my room the whole night even if youbwere just on the floor you had never done that once before and not even did you do it again after and I'm glad you felt safe enough with me to stay with me that night and thankfully you received and stayed with me even after getting hurt multiple other times or went missing you came home and wanted to cuddle with me so its very unfortunate you hadn't returned this tine and it breaks my heart that nit even my voice brought you back when it always had before just kniw mommy will always miss you and she will always love you. And in all honesty I don't knkw if I can live without you .

Hopefully this post can always keep your memory alive.

these are all photos of my sweet clingy boy from his little baby days to the last photo I took of him before he disappeared :(

Rest in peace my son.

I love you

[lolli-the-watermelon]

Oh my god 😰

Ok so uh....little news but um this is like kinda funny and well REALLY WILD but...

My mom may have accidentally got be like a body pillow cover to todoroki 😭

It is double sided and THANK GOD it wasn't anything inappropriate I didn't knkw how to fucking tell her what it was oh my god this is fucking crazy like oh my god I was struggling to not laugh.

[lolli-the-watermelon]

Some art I made (WIP)

Hey Marshmellows!! I know its been a long time sense I've posted any art! But I finally got one I feel pretty proud to post!

I do feel guilty that a lot of my posts have just been rants but this place is just like a safe place for me to let it all out.

Also this piece is currently just a WIP for now! I moght finish it buuut not much motivation to do so right now the line work is finished I just don't wanna color it yet cuz I don't wanna render rn.

[lolli-the-watermelon]

Been happier without Dandy's world.

Ok so lowkey yall I've been much happier after not playing Dandy's world all the time. Like I've been able to find and play so many more unique and absolutely PEAK games. And this is coming from someone who very much loved Dandy's world originally like I used to LOVE the game.

Like I LOVE Animal hospital, I love cake off, I love Molly's factory (very sad that was canceled I feel like if they held on a little longer they would have boomed after the Dandy's world drama), toons universe, untitled baking game, demonology, I even played the mimic! (I got somewhat carried but I still did stuff to help to!), and some more games but I can't check my continue list cuz apparently my wifi is getting an update today but it's about to be do i think so then I can play roblox again.

But yeah lowkey I feel like without Dandy's world and without engaging in the fandom has made me really happy I've even got to hangout with friends more and I got to meet some absolutely amazing friends!!

Also lowkey one of my new friends on roblox showd me this mukbang game and it's actually pretty fun and relaxing!!

[lolli-the-watermelon]

Why I'm scared to come out.

So uh....while I was getting dinner. My uncle said he was gonna try to flirt with a short haired girl and I didn't think much of it until he said that the girl was a lesbian...

And well I don't know if I'll see my uncle the same after what he said....he said he was hoping to convert her....

And well that makes me scared because well I'm pansexual what would happen if I come out of the closet or if they find out I'm gay? Will they try to convert me?

Like sure I' dating a boy but like I said I' pansexual and I'm definitely still gay cuz I like shipping my oc with female and nonbinary characters.

But still I'm kinda scared and gives me another reason to not come out to my family

[lolli-the-watermelon]

Bitch ass T-Mobile bro

Ok...so USCellular was bought by T-Mobile so a couple of months ago or maybe just a few weeks ago I can't remeber. Me and my mother went to the store to get our phones switched and well we did nit have our uncles so they gave us free phones as compensation and well they werr probably gonna give those to us anyways the even let us keep our old phones.

WELL GUESS WHAT.

T-MOBILE SWITCHED IFF OUR SERVICE.

And before you say "Well then you didn't pay!"

WE DID PAY AND WE PAID IN FULL.

How did I figure out we were shut off? I tried to call a friend to ask them if they wanted to go to an event and it wouldn't let me fucking text ir call them.

And also ee had gotten no heads heads up about this and I only got the message we were cut off when I tried to call my friend. No one had check on us either before shutting it off. This is why USCellular on its own was so much better they were so much more considerate and they actually cared about their customers. And we NEVER had a problem with USCellular so I am very suspicious that this is a fult on T-Mobile's part because no one and I mean NO ONE checked in to make sure if there was a reason for a late or non existent payment possibly but my mother says she paid in full and in fact I watched her pay in full